Fathers

Metabolik · 11-03-2008, 07:26 AM

He died on Halloween morning, he had bowl cancer.
A couple of weeks ago at school he started crying and told us about his Dad having cancer, so we all comforted him.
I can't say I knew his Dad very well, but from the few times I did meet him, he was actually one of the most sound people Id ever met.
I found out that his Dad died on Halloween night when I was talking to one of my best friends.
I feel terrible for my friend.
He's the type that shows no weakness, but I'm sure after something like this he is going to have to show how he really feels, so we all have to be ready for that and try our best to help him keep his chin up.
Thing is after I found out about this, I started thinking about my own Dad.
It was my birthday last Monday and yet again I didn't even get a card from him, same as last year and the previous years. I don't have a very close relationship with my Dad and I used to think I didn't care, maybe I didn't but I care now. I want to try and make the best of what little connection I have left with my Dad, but it depends, I'm not sure if he wants to.
I can't say I've done absolutely fine without my Dad, but I got by, but I think I'm now at a time in my life where I'll need him for advice and support.

Metabolik · 11-03-2008, 07:32 AM

God damnit stupid admin won't let me edit the message.
It was my friend's Dad who died.

$haDe · 11-03-2008, 07:35 AM

The same time my beloved passed away.

I don't know how to react to parent's birthdays, my parent wasn't that impressive,though

But I suggest you take the most time you can spare with him.

HumanePain · 11-03-2008, 07:37 AM

That is why I tell my wife and kids every day I love them and hug them, one never knows when you or they won't make it home because of a traffic accident, heart attack or whatever. We are all potential and random victims rolling the dice everyday. I feel sorry for your friend.

Saya · 11-03-2008, 07:43 AM

My parents had a pretty bad divorce when I was 11, and to get back at Mom for wanting to leave Dad started dating her best friend. She was really upset, we didn't like her, but he kept seeing her. She made stuff up about us (she used to work at my school), and Dad would always take her word over ours. My paternal grandparents also said very terrible things about my Mom, and since we didn't like Dad's girlfriend they stopped talking to us too. I was fifteen I think when I stopped visiting Dad, and he stopped paying child support at that time. My brother still spends half the week with him and half the week with Mom, but me and my sister lived with Mom only.

I got back in touch with him recently though, we have lunch together about once a week. Its awkward and he said something the last time that really pissed me off, but I'll probably keep seeing him, and you should keep talking to your dad too, if only for the sake of keeping in touch.

You never know when you'll need a kidney

Metabolik · 11-03-2008, 07:50 AM

Haha, I think he owes me a lot more than a kidney x]

About 10, 000 birthday cards (I don't give a shit about presents (thats a lie))

$haDe · 11-03-2008, 07:58 AM

It's good that you guys have a parent that really give a shit about you.

Tam Li Hua · 11-03-2008, 08:06 AM

If you have any kind of relationship with your dad at all, hang on to it the best you can; once a parent is gone, they are gone for good.

Saya · 11-03-2008, 08:06 AM

Awwwww *hugs* I'd adopt you if I could $hade ^_^

Ryaken · 11-04-2008, 02:35 PM

I'm really sorry to hear that and hope everything turns out ok - For all of you.

I heard my parents talking about "Lumps" And my father so I think something may be going on, I almost wish I was more fussed but eh, I dislike my father a fair bit, i'm sure I love him and I appreciate the TINY bit he does for the family but he's homophobic hates Gothic and emo styles (Thinking the're the same) and guys who are girly -- I'm effeminate, guy-loving and love dressing Gothic as I can and like wearing make up.

MegearaErotica · 11-04-2008, 02:50 PM

I haven't seen my dad in ten years (He got arrested! Yay!), but I have a stepdad who I wish would keel over. I would be upset over my mom dying, but only for a while because I know it's better to honor the dead than grieve for them. Anyways, I hope everyone who posted keeps living, if only to celebrate the memory of the person they knew who died.

Metabolik · 11-06-2008, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ryaken

I'm really sorry to hear that and hope everything turns out ok - For all of you.

I heard my parents talking about "Lumps" And my father so I think something may be going on, I almost wish I was more fussed but eh, I dislike my father a fair bit, i'm sure I love him and I appreciate the TINY bit he does for the family but he's homophobic hates Gothic and emo styles (Thinking the're the same) and guys who are girly -- I'm effeminate, guy-loving and love dressing Gothic as I can and like wearing make up.

My Ex-best friend's Dad has discovered some lumps again

Last time he found them he went through an operation and came out fine, hopefully your Dad will be ok.

Metabolik · 11-06-2008, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saya

Awwwww *hugs* I'd adopt you if I could $hade ^_^

And I could be his brother =D
I've always wanted a brother.

$haDe · 11-06-2008, 05:20 PM

I want a brother,too.

>_<

Solumina · 11-06-2008, 06:07 PM

I'm sorry that you have such a crap relationship with your dad, at least you may still have time to make something good out of it.

As for your friend: don't wait around for him to come to you wanting help, just straight up offer to help him out. I don't mean that you should necessarily invite him to cry on your shoulder or just tell him to ask if he needs anything because chances are he is more than a bit overwhelmed and wouldn't even know what to ask of you, so offer to help out with specific things (especially every day tasks because they tend to get forgotten and pile up)

Ryaken · 11-12-2008, 09:11 AM

As a matter of fact it turns out that my mother was the one with lumps, she's awaiting some test results but if they are cancerous it should work out fine anyway, i'm much more fussed about it being my mother...

Metabolik · 11-15-2008, 03:11 AM

:/
Well hopefully your Mother will come out of it fine =]
*hugs*

Ryaken · 11-15-2008, 12:09 PM

Aww, thank you! She gets the results on monday but at worst she may have a tiny amputation

Elysiume · 11-15-2008, 04:53 PM

Ah, hearing all this kind of makes me realise that my parents aren't really so bad. My mum is always criticising me, and although she'd never admit it, I know she's disappointed that I'm so unlike her. My dad is great though, if a little aloof at times. He always listens to me moaning about crap, and helping me with my math homework, even though it must be frustrating for him because I really am terrible at it. And he quit smoking because he knew it was bad for my health as well, even though my mum never even tried.

pixy_dust · 11-15-2008, 10:36 PM

^ yeah, sometimes i think my dad isn't that bad. But he's always miserable and non-communicative. I think he started behaving like that ever since I started listening to loud music, dressing in black and going to concerts and generally, doing what i like. I don't think he can get past our differences and take an interest in the rest of my life.

Ryaken · 11-17-2008, 12:07 PM

^ My father's getting more and more like that. He was complaining about me wearing nail polish a couple of times, calling me emo and when my nan said 'Isn't it Goths who wear black nail polish' he just shouted that I wasn't a Goth.

Oh, and; It turns out my mother has breast cancer I think it's the 25th or so she's having surgery, a few procedures. But according to my father I don't care. Go me?

weepingblood · 11-17-2008, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ryaken

^ My father's getting more and more like that. He was complaining about me wearing nail polish a couple of times, calling me emo and when my nan said 'Isn't it Goths who wear black nail polish' he just shouted that I wasn't a Goth.

Yeah.. I feel you, my parents beat me for wearing too much black.. but I still wear it. Why should I conform to they're mainstream idea of what is "pretty". It's hard but you have to have courage to be yourself.

pixy_dust · 11-18-2008, 04:03 AM

black nail polish...my parents hate it. And the rest of my black clothing? equally hated. Luckily my parents don't catch onto specific english terms like emo goth or punk very easily so they're still in the dark. At least, they've never heard of emo.

Ryaken, so did your dad assume you didn't care about your mum? oh well, at least you know the truth inside you. Hope she gets well soon, best wishes.

Maggoty Anne · 11-18-2008, 07:33 AM

My dad was a wife-beater.

Ryaken · 11-18-2008, 10:32 AM

I hate violent family members, well violent people. A friend of mine gets beaten but dosn't move out because her parents would start with her younger brother who has some 'difficulties' can't say I know any more about it.
My father appologised for what he said and keeps trying to 'inform' me about stuff I already know and he's said repeatedly, it just ended with him mocking me for being smarter than him. But i'm certain everything will be ok.