Relationship Crisis. Please give some advice.

the_cure · 04-18-2008, 09:16 PM

My girlfriend sent some other guy a nude picture of herself on her phone, and now it's getting out to the whole town.

She has apologized several times, and I have confirmed that she sent it to him about a month ago. But This was still while we were together.

We broke up for several hours, but got back together now.

I just don't understand how to trust her again.

I love her, but I don't know how to make a relationship without trust work.

Please give me advice!

KontanKarite · 04-18-2008, 09:23 PM

*ahem*

Move on. Have a nice day.

the_cure · 04-18-2008, 09:31 PM

Go to hell you self-righteous bastard.

Drake Dun · 04-18-2008, 09:44 PM

He's probably right. Sitting here and hearing only that she has apologized several times, we're not really in a position to think her trustworthy after what she did. Apologies are cheap. If you don't want to give us details, at least ask yourself these questions:

1) Why did she do that in the first place?
2) What has changed since then?
3) What explicit or implicit understanding exists between the two of you regarding what happened and what the future looks like?

If you can't answer those questions immediately, with confidence, and with answers that you can handle emotionally, you haven't resolved the original problem. You can lash out at Kontan for pointing out your failures or the failures of your girlfriend, and he's secure enough not to be damaged. But you're still going to find yourself with the same set of problems to deal with afterward, except that now you have complicated the picture by directing your anger at the wrong target.

KontanKarite · 04-18-2008, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the_cure

Go to hell you self-righteous bastard.

When you catch her riding your best friend reverse cowgirl style, you'll appreciate my advice a little more.

I hope you don't get hurt too bad, regardless. My condolences for what you're about to go through.

PhenomenalTranquility · 04-19-2008, 02:11 AM

It's just a picture. A piece of paper or virtual bandwidth space. And it's just the body she hides underneath her clothing. Just human fat. It's just another story in another world.

Feel better?

JCC · 04-19-2008, 04:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhenomenalTranquility

It's just a picture. A piece of paper or virtual bandwidth space. And it's just the body she hides underneath her clothing. Just human fat. It's just another story in another world.

Feel better?

Possibly, but that was also terrible advice.

Leave her now before she screws you over more.

TopHaggardDoll · 04-19-2008, 04:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the_cure

Go to hell you self-righteous bastard.

You asked us for advice and you're having a go when someone gives advice you don't want to hear.

Well done.

On another note, I agree with Kontan.

PhenomenalTranquility · 04-19-2008, 08:54 AM

It doesn't have to end. She didn't cheat on you. So what if some guy knows how your girl looks naked?(And the whole town now...)

Do you love her? And what's her explaination for sending him that? If it's something in the lines of "I don't why I did it" is her case, then let it be. If you love her and she loves you, you both have a good time with eachother, you're positive that she's not playing with you or anything.. I say, keep on dating her.

If you're JUST not sure.. take a deep breath and do as you feel. I'm certain you're not sure, so I advice you to calm down and take sometime off until you feel sane again.

JCC · 04-19-2008, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhenomenalTranquility

She didn't cheat on you.

There's more ways to cheat on a guy than to stick someone else's dick inside you, you know.

DeathToLems · 04-19-2008, 09:48 AM

What I think is that this girl is sending these pictures because shes been flirting with this other guy and its been going on long enough that shes actually sent him nudie pictures.
IMO she likes this other guy.
Kontan is right. Move on.
Why waste your energy trying to love her again after she done this to you?
The feeling of Love is so strong when you think your with The One that when they do something so bad like this your feelings for them cant cope and you will go into denial just to stay with them for the feeling of "love".
You need to start thinking with your brain here boyo. She has betrayed your love for her. She don't deserve it if shes going off doing things like this with other guys. And now the whole town knows about it, they are probably saying some really bad shit about her. Its her own damn fault for doing it so don't be the mug to stick up for her.

Duane · 04-19-2008, 09:51 AM

Move on, you can do better.*Continues playing his guitar, while sitting on a tree stump*

PhenomenalTranquility · 04-19-2008, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JCC

There's more ways to cheat on a guy than to stick someone else's dick inside you, you know.

And showing a guy a picture of your body isn't one of them.

JCC · 04-19-2008, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhenomenalTranquility

And showing a guy a picture of your body isn't one of them.

I would've thought that it was pretty damn obvious that it depends on the context, and I'm guessing that the context is that she's got something going on with someone else.

PhenomenalTranquility · 04-19-2008, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JCC

I would've thought that it was pretty damn obvious that it depends on the context, and I'm guessing that the context is that she's got something going on with someone else.

Yeah, but unfourtantly the_cure hasn't come back to fill in the details we want to know, so I'm taking the bright side here that says that one mistake shouldn't ruin a good relationship. Maybe she was looking at some photo's she took on her cell and sent them to a random guy in her number list? Was she bored? Was she depressed? Or perhaps drunk, stoned, just a teeny weey high? We can't know anything for sure until the_cure comes back.

..peanuts...

Mir · 04-19-2008, 11:19 AM

If your girlfriend is going around showing her body to other guys, that should set some fucking alarm bells ringing.

What possible reason could she have to showing her naked body to other guys anyway? Just curious.

electrosexual · 04-19-2008, 12:08 PM

I'd save myself the dignity and heartbreak and dump the slut.

JCC · 04-19-2008, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mir

What possible reason could she have to showing her naked body to other guys anyway? Just curious.

Few and far between, but I bet that she's going to come out with every single one (and be lying about each of them).

Mir · 04-19-2008, 12:26 PM

To be completely honest with you, that was a rhetorical question.

JCC · 04-19-2008, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mir

To be completely honest with you, that was a rhetorical question.

Doesn't mean I can't answer it anyway.

Underwater Ophelia · 04-19-2008, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhenomenalTranquility

And showing a guy a picture of your body isn't one of them.

Not necessarily, but doing something of a sexual nature with the knowledge that your significant other is completely not ok with would be cheating.

Mir · 04-19-2008, 12:56 PM

I never said you couldn't!

Underwater Ophelia · 04-19-2008, 12:57 PM

I'd also like to point out that the picture is "GETTING ALL OVER TOWN."

So not only did she show the picture to another man, she showed it to a man who obviously doesn't care enough about her to keep the picture to himself. In other words, she'll show pictures of herself naked to just about anyone.

Leave her, and visit your family physician for a VD screening.

Mir · 04-19-2008, 12:59 PM

hahahahaahaha. Now that is keeping it real!

PhenomenalTranquility · 04-19-2008, 01:34 PM

I pointed that out too. Uh, how do you know she knew that he's not completely ok with the fact that.... okay I'll just drop it lol

who knows how it got to town.. the_cure get online before some people start dying!!!