Rejection, rejection, REJECTION

[DarkPrayer]

Okay, so maybe I AM weird, crazy, and kinda odd, but having goths tell me I'm pathetic REALLY hurts my feelings! It's not as if I WANT to be stupid or anything, but that's how I am and I can't help it! People say to just ignore those who are rude to you and call you bad names, but it hurts so much. I can ignore, but I can't forget. I guess I sound like a real whiner, but hey, this is the thread for whining right?

[Graveyard.Crow]

Add me. I'm an expert at self esteem. I got mine back and it was REALLY low once upon a time. I bet I can do the same for you.

poison_chick6 @ hot mail dot com

[DarkPrayer]

Originally Posted by Graveyard.Crow

Add me. I'm an expert at self esteem. I got mine back and it was REALLY low once upon a time. I bet I can do the same for you.

poison_chick6 @ hot mail dot com

Um...Smoov told me you called me DorkPrayer? DID you? I won't be mad or anything but, it really hurt my feelings. Anyways, thank you SO much for offering to help! I'll e-mail you asap. Right now, actually.

[Graveyard.Crow]

I didn't. He is a troll. Trolls say things to make people mad and/or hurt their feelings.
Plus, the word dork doesn't mean a bad thing to me. Dorks are the funnest more adorable friends I have.

[Green.Lady]

Don't listen to Smoov. He's probably about forty and lives in his parents' basement with nothing to do but insult people like you who are just trying to learn about a subculture.

And that's what one comes here to do, learn. If someone is insulting you, they don't remember the days when they didn't know who Peter Murphy was and thought that goth was just a way of rebelling instead of a way of life.

I can give you some honest advice, as I've read some of your posts. I don't want to seem harsh but unfortunately have no choice. I'm going to be very honest. Talking about how goth your room is, excessive angsting, and comments about being a non-conformist may have the opposite effects of what you desired among some of the people here.

You see, my dear, this is more of a serious forum, with timely jokes of course, but nonetheless a more serious forum where people genuinely interested in the subculture, especially the music, come to talk about their shared interests, and perhaps even find new music, movies and literature to enjoy. People interested in music commonly known as 'mallgoth" are simply not taken seriously if they do not also share a love for gothic rock and/or post-punk and/or EBM/Industrial/whatever.

I do think (and hope) that these people who poke fun at you are not doing so in a cruel way, that they are perhaps trying to thicken your skin and prepare you for when you grow older and meet other goths. If you wish to converse with other goths and call yourself a goth without sounding like a d-bag, you really do need to appreciate authentic gothic culture - no matter how elitist it sounds, it is true.

I'm not sure if you took any musical suggestions posted on your intro pages but the thread I'm linking to below should help you delve into a world of fantastic music. DON'T think that you need to stop listening to Manson or Evanescence or any other band you love just because some asshole on a forum calls you a poser. You are special, unique, and perfect just the way you are, and, as lame as it sounds, you don't need to change for anyone. However, you might really like some of the bands listed on the page below - some of my favourites are on there, some of them are not, as we both appear to enjoy music in multiple genres.

https://www.gothic.net/boards/showth...6&page=1&pp=35

I wish you the best of luck in your journey into discovering more about yourself, as an individual and as a member of the gothic subculture. I hope there are no hard feelings.

Cheers,
Green.Lady

[Renatus]

Yeah he tends to distort things alot. Oh mind if I add both of you to my msn?

[Drake Dun]

Smoov strikes me as a Duck type character - he probably wouldn't even claim to be serious or honest. You have to take what he says with a grain of salt.

I hear you about the self esteem problem. I don't want to shatter my carefully cultured hard-nose image, here, but it's my experience that that there is often an inverse relationship between the quality of a person's character and his perception of himself.

I think it helps if you understand why people do the mean things they do. It's not that they are arbiters of opinion who have handed down a reasoned decision. They are people too, and they do these things because they are trying to get something... in the case of picking on other people, ironically, what they're after is usually esteem.

We're all in the same boat. Riders on the storm. I, for one, am glad to have you here.

Drake

[TopHaggardDoll]

I think they shouldn't have been so harsh on you, or anyone for that matter.

Just chillax, it's the internet. People suddenly develop some wierd attitude problem on the internet XD! Anyone...everywhere....on every forum.

If ya wanna talk...just drop me a line...or...message...or..something...

harlequin _ tear s @ hot mai l . co m

[KontanKarite]

People who post on the internet are people.

If I found out that every person I've ever met on the internet was just a brilliantly made up chat bot, I think I'd be very disappointed.

[Cyntrox]

If I found out that every person I've ever met on the internet was just brilliantly made up chat bot, I'd be mightily impressed.

[Underwater Ophelia]

Darkprayer, if you get your feelings hurt when someone calls you a dork, I think a lot of this is you being too sensitive.

[Graveyard.Crow]

Originally Posted by Green.Lady

Don't listen to Smoov. He's probably about forty and lives in his parents' basement with nothing to do but insult people like you who are just trying to learn about a subculture.

And that's what one comes here to do, learn. If someone is insulting you, they don't remember the days when they didn't know who Peter Murphy was and thought that goth was just a way of rebelling instead of a way of life.

I can give you some honest advice, as I've read some of your posts. I don't want to seem harsh but unfortunately have no choice. I'm going to be very honest. Talking about how goth your room is, excessive angsting, and comments about being a non-conformist may have the opposite effects of what you desired among some of the people here.

You see, my dear, this is more of a serious forum, with timely jokes of course, but nonetheless a more serious forum where people genuinely interested in the subculture, especially the music, come to talk about their shared interests, and perhaps even find new music, movies and literature to enjoy. People interested in music commonly known as 'mallgoth" are simply not taken seriously if they do not also share a love for gothic rock and/or post-punk and/or EBM/Industrial/whatever.

I do think (and hope) that these people who poke fun at you are not doing so in a cruel way, that they are perhaps trying to thicken your skin and prepare you for when you grow older and meet other goths. If you wish to converse with other goths and call yourself a goth without sounding like a d-bag, you really do need to appreciate authentic gothic culture - no matter how elitist it sounds, it is true.

I'm not sure if you took any musical suggestions posted on your intro pages but the thread I'm linking to below should help you delve into a world of fantastic music. DON'T think that you need to stop listening to Manson or Evanescence or any other band you love just because some asshole on a forum calls you a poser. You are special, unique, and perfect just the way you are, and, as lame as it sounds, you don't need to change for anyone. However, you might really like some of the bands listed on the page below - some of my favourites are on there, some of them are not, as we both appear to enjoy music in multiple genres.

https://www.gothic.net/boards/showth...6&page=1&pp=35

I wish you the best of luck in your journey into discovering more about yourself, as an individual and as a member of the gothic subculture. I hope there are no hard feelings.

Cheers,
Green.Lady

It seems a little strange to me that to a person who seeks better self esteem your advice would pretty much be "just be like other goths, and they will like you"

Here is MY advice. Be what you want to be even if someone calls you such thing as "mallgoth". There is nothing wrong with liking things that others, even goths disaprove of. Just because someone calls themselves goth and says you can't do so as well doesn't change the fact that you may still have similar interests as that person.

A lot of people might think that you are either goth, or you are just uninteresting or can't be interested in the macabre. There are PLENTY of people who love the darker side of things and just don't care about post punk in any way.
Don't try to make yourself like something you don't, but if you discover that you do like "post punk" then like it because of YOU not because you want to be just like "all the goths"
No offense and I mean this is the best way possible, but goths are in no way better than others.

[DarkPrayer]

Originally Posted by Green.Lady

Don't listen to Smoov. He's probably about forty and lives in his parents' basement with nothing to do but insult people like you who are just trying to learn about a subculture.

And that's what one comes here to do, learn. If someone is insulting you, they don't remember the days when they didn't know who Peter Murphy was and thought that goth was just a way of rebelling instead of a way of life.

I can give you some honest advice, as I've read some of your posts. I don't want to seem harsh but unfortunately have no choice. I'm going to be very honest. Talking about how goth your room is, excessive angsting, and comments about being a non-conformist may have the opposite effects of what you desired among some of the people here.

You see, my dear, this is more of a serious forum, with timely jokes of course, but nonetheless a more serious forum where people genuinely interested in the subculture, especially the music, come to talk about their shared interests, and perhaps even find new music, movies and literature to enjoy. People interested in music commonly known as 'mallgoth" are simply not taken seriously if they do not also share a love for gothic rock and/or post-punk and/or EBM/Industrial/whatever.

I do think (and hope) that these people who poke fun at you are not doing so in a cruel way, that they are perhaps trying to thicken your skin and prepare you for when you grow older and meet other goths. If you wish to converse with other goths and call yourself a goth without sounding like a d-bag, you really do need to appreciate authentic gothic culture - no matter how elitist it sounds, it is true.

I'm not sure if you took any musical suggestions posted on your intro pages but the thread I'm linking to below should help you delve into a world of fantastic music. DON'T think that you need to stop listening to Manson or Evanescence or any other band you love just because some asshole on a forum calls you a poser. You are special, unique, and perfect just the way you are, and, as lame as it sounds, you don't need to change for anyone. However, you might really like some of the bands listed on the page below - some of my favourites are on there, some of them are not, as we both appear to enjoy music in multiple genres.

https://www.gothic.net/boards/showth...6&page=1&pp=35

I wish you the best of luck in your journey into discovering more about yourself, as an individual and as a member of the gothic subculture. I hope there are no hard feelings.

Cheers,
Green.Lady

Yeah, I understand. But even goths have their own opinions about goth. I am certainly NOT a goth poseur, though I tend to be off topic about goth stuff (eg, talking about my bedroom). I also love macabre, which is why i decorated my bedroom so...over-the-top goth. That does not make me a poseur, it just makes me different from other goths and I think that's okay.

[DarkPrayer]

Originally Posted by Graveyard.Crow

It seems a little strange to me that to a person who seeks better self esteem your advice would pretty much be "just be like other goths, and they will like you"

Here is MY advice. Be what you want to be even if someone calls you such thing as "mallgoth". There is nothing wrong with liking things that others, even goths disaprove of. Just because someone calls themselves goth and says you can't do so as well doesn't change the fact that you may still have similar interests as that person.

A lot of people might think that you are either goth, or you are just uninteresting or can't be interested in the macabre. There are PLENTY of people who love the darker side of things and just don't care about post punk in any way.
Don't try to make yourself like something you don't, but if you discover that you do like "post punk" then like it because of YOU not because you want to be just like "all the goths"
No offense and I mean this is the best way possible, but goths are in no way better than others.

I'm not mallgoth. I am interested in macabre, you at least I'm very drawn to it and facinated by it. I just don't like the fact that everyone gets all deffensive just by me talking about my bedroom. No one even knows how I really act.

[viscus]

No offense, but you seem young, overly sensitive, and desperate for approval.

[LadyLucretia]

Originally Posted by DarkPrayer

It's not as if I WANT to be stupid or anything, but that's how I am and I can't help it! People say to just ignore those who are rude to you and call you bad names, but it hurts so much.

I'm starting to wonder if you're a troll.

If not, I agree with Viscus. It's the internet. If my self esteem dropped every time I was insulted on the internet, I'd have killed myself at least 5 years ago.

Real life isn't much nicer anyway.

[Underwater Ophelia]

Originally Posted by LadyLucretia

I'm starting to wonder if you're a troll.

If not, I agree with Viscus. It's the internet. If my self esteem dropped every time I was insulted on the internet, I'd have killed myself at least 5 years ago.

Real life isn't much nicer anyway.

Bitch! 1111111111111111

[Graveyard.Crow]

Originally Posted by DarkPrayer

I'm not mallgoth. I am interested in macabre, you at least I'm very drawn to it and facinated by it. I just don't like the fact that everyone gets all deffensive just by me talking about my bedroom. No one even knows how I really act.

I didn't say you were a mallgoth. You completely misunderstood me. What I am saying is you don't need to be goth to like the macabre. It's that simple, you can listen to whatever music you want, still like the macarbe and not be goth, and IT WON'T mean you are somehow any less.
I don't call myself goth, I don't care about it, yet I don't have any problem having Gothic interests or dressing in a "dark" manner.

As soon as you stop caring about the word goth and just be yourself, it won't matter if someone calls you a poser because you will know it is simply not so. How can you be a poser if you are just being yourself right?

Here is another thing. So what someone told you it's wrong to have a black room, or that your decorations are over the top? Who are they to decided? IT'S YOUR ROOM, it's your life and just because this random person on the internet calls themselves goth does not give them ANY power whateso ever. You said it yourself, they have NO idea how you act, and you are very right to say so.

You are you, you like what you like, you don't need a word to define you because you have just as much right as anyone else to be interested in what EVER it is you desire.

Goth is not a power word. Period.

[LadyLucretia]

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

Bitch! 1111111111111111

::looks around::

Nope, still not killing myself! See kids, it's easy!

[Graveyard.Crow]

LOL! there is a good role model
(It's not sarcasm either)

[DarkPrayer]

Originally Posted by Graveyard.Crow

I didn't say you were a mallgoth. You completely misunderstood me. What I am saying is you don't need to be goth to like the macabre. It's that simple, you can listen to whatever music you want, still like the macarbe and not be goth, and IT WON'T mean you are somehow any less.
I don't call myself goth, I don't care about it, yet I don't have any problem having Gothic interests or dressing in a "dark" manner.

As soon as you stop caring about the word goth and just be yourself, it won't matter if someone calls you a poser because you will know it is simply not so. How can you be a poser if you are just being yourself right?

Here is another thing. So what someone told you it's wrong to have a black room, or that your decorations are over the top? Who are they to decided? IT'S YOUR ROOM, it's your life and just because this random person on the internet calls themselves goth does not give them ANY power whateso ever. You said it yourself, they have NO idea how you act, and you are very right to say so.

You are you, you like what you like, you don't need a word to define you because you have just as much right as anyone else to be interested in what EVER it is you desire.

Goth is not a power word. Period.

Wow. I do believe that you just totally helped me out! Thank you so so so so much. Seriously, you should be a phycologist and do social work!

[DarkPrayer]

Originally Posted by viscus

No offense, but you seem young, overly sensitive, and desperate for approval.

I AM young. I'm just 15. And don't all teenagers look for approval? Okay, well, I don't. I'm sorry if it seems like that, but TRUST me, I don't want approval, I just want to be acceptd.

[Graveyard.Crow]

Originally Posted by DarkPrayer

Wow. I do believe that you just totally helped me out! Thank you so so so so much. Seriously, you should be a phycologist and do social work!

I've been thinking about it. That's a very nice thing to say, especially to a person like me who takes pride in the ability to help people in ways like this.

[DarkPrayer]

Originally Posted by Graveyard.Crow

I've been thinking about it. That's a very nice thing to say, especially to a person like me who takes pride in the ability to help people in ways like this.

I want to do Social Work too, and you're welcome. I'd take pride in it as well. Good luck with helping others! You're great at it, seriously. You're better than my phycologist.

[Graveyard.Crow]

That's why I wanted to become a psychologist. I went to one and the only good she did is tell me about some human behavior and how to interpret it (which was HELPFUL in general however not why I went). So I wanted to try and become someone who actually tries to get in the shoes of people. Good luck as well.