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| Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books. |
03-13-2007, 04:11 AM
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#1
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Nagoya, Aichi, Japan
Posts: 1,679
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not sure what to call this.......
Once I had dream that I could be queen
That I would rule the land,
And we could all hold hands.
But life aint a bowl of cherries
Its not all peachy keen.
I could never be your fucking queen.
Cuz I aint skinny and I aint tall
And that must mean I break the law.
I don’t want to be your jinni in a bottle.
It seems like were all growing up full throttle.
Maybe we don’t want to live in a world
where our innocence is so short..
So now im building my fort im ready to wage a war.
Fuck you and your beauty and fuck your queen too
im gonna break down
this fucked up all american dream….
Cuz I aint skinny and I aint tall
So Fuck skinny fuck it all
I think I might make a book and call it " All the things that can fuck off."
__________________
"Yo tengo la empanada empinada"
- Me
" I love 4play! Its the best thing I've ever done"
- My Boyfriend
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03-13-2007, 04:24 AM
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#2
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: I'm underneath the sink, now what do you think, living under my sink?
Posts: 592
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Get over the word fuck, for fucks sake.
__________________
Life is a sexually transmitted disease, and it's 100% fatal!
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03-13-2007, 04:59 AM
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#3
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: a house
Posts: 319
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why is skinny and tall the "ideal" woman? in all honesty i find it kinda creepy. my gf is skinny but short and i think shes beautifull(no matter how much she disagrees)
america is way to fucked up in its veiw of the perfect women/man. none of them idaels are even realistic.
o nice work there kid.
__________________
proud to be a furry
love me or hate me i wont change
the eyes are the windows to the soul, are you afraid of what you see?
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03-13-2007, 12:16 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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I think most people prefer skinny and short (Eva Longoria) It's funny that this poem is better than the other ones, but it's still awful.
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Originally Posted by BLEED REBELION!!!
Once I had dream that I could be queen
That I would rule the land,
And we could all hold hands.
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Definitely this poem won't be written in iambic pentameter or such. I guess this stanza is passable, but not a thing you'll find in a poetry book.
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But life aint a bowl of cherries
Its not all peachy keen.
I could never be your fucking queen.
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Oh noes, here comes the pop punk attitude.
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Cuz I aint skinny and I aint tall
And that must mean I break the law.
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That makes absolutely no sense. We have agreed that tall is not desired in a woman. And since when is a fat chick a criminal?
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I don’t want to be your jinni in a bottle.
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?
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It seems like were all growing up full throttle.
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And this is a metaphor to... progress? I thought you were complaining about society, but it seems that it's actually going in the right direction at a right pace.
Or maybe old age? But you're complaining about superficiality (oh the irony) so why would you be complaining of the one thing that will eventually relinquish everyone from their exterior beauty?
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Maybe we don’t want to live in a world
where our innocence is so short..
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If you wanted to be innocent, you'd have stayed innocent.
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So now im building my fort im ready to wage a war.
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I suppose this is a good time to point out that this poem is filled with meaningless metaphors that don't follow neither a theme nor a pattern.
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Fuck you and your beauty and fuck your queen too
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I thought you were sad you weren't that queen. That would mean that your 'fuck the queen' thing is nothing but jealousy.
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im gonna break down
this fucked up all american dream….
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Again with the 'fuck the government'. Kid, you don't know half of what the government does, so shut the hell up until you do. Besides, you're talking about society, not the government. Or do you think the government should do something about society and it's not? I thought you were a wannabe anarchist, not a communist.
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Cuz I aint skinny and I aint tall
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Yo yo she keepin it real!
'Cuz' and 'aint' aren't words. Are you trying to be a poet or a wannabe ghetto rapper?
__________________
"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.
I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin
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Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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03-13-2007, 01:39 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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"Not sure what to call this"
How about junk?
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03-13-2007, 03:50 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Nagoya, Aichi, Japan
Posts: 1,679
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Models are supposed to be the most beautiful people blaah blahh blah and they are usualy tall.
As for the breaking laws I meant the unofficial laws that society puts on people about the way you should look……..
The growing up line has to do with all the little girls running around looking supper slutty because they think that its cute…………
Yeah in the beginning I was saying I wanted to be “the queen” but now im saying since you have to be a certain way to be considered beautiful or pretty just screw it.
And the “American dream” is something I think a lot of society wants and thinks of as the best way.
Im saying that it sucks…
I really don’t care if “aint” isn’t a word, it’s part of my vernacular and im not gonna stop saying it.
I never claimed I was a poet its just something I do in my spare time, im really better at drawing and dance. No I don’t wanna be a rapper. You don’t have to be a rapper to say aint.
__________________
"Yo tengo la empanada empinada"
- Me
" I love 4play! Its the best thing I've ever done"
- My Boyfriend
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03-13-2007, 05:47 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Nagoya, Aichi, Japan
Posts: 1,679
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Jillian said it wasnt and I really dont care.......
__________________
"Yo tengo la empanada empinada"
- Me
" I love 4play! Its the best thing I've ever done"
- My Boyfriend
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03-13-2007, 06:00 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a black hole with a black moon
Posts: 2,658
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I totally care, d00d. I ain't gonna deny it.
__________________
"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
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03-13-2007, 06:02 PM
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#9
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a black hole with a black moon
Posts: 2,658
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I totally care, d00d. I ain't gonna deny it. =P
__________________
"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
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03-13-2007, 06:03 PM
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#10
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian
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Originally Posted by BLEED REBELION!!!
I don’t want to be your jinni in a bottle.
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?
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She used the Arabic word jinni that means "Genie" in the English translation.
You know, Aladdin and the magic lamp?
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03-13-2007, 06:09 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a black hole with a black moon
Posts: 2,658
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__________________
"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
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03-13-2007, 06:54 PM
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#13
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Nagoya, Aichi, Japan
Posts: 1,679
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What do stick men have to do with my post?
__________________
"Yo tengo la empanada empinada"
- Me
" I love 4play! Its the best thing I've ever done"
- My Boyfriend
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03-13-2007, 07:35 PM
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#14
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
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Sorry Bleed.
::glares at Vyvian like Moe of The Three Stooges glaring at Larry::
See what you made me do?
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03-13-2007, 08:23 PM
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#15
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Super Spright
Ain't is a word...who said it isn't?
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I was merely highlighting the fact that she said "aint" rather than "ain't". In any case, with Mark Twain, that word is acceptable. With anyone else, it is either trite or vulgar.
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Originally Posted by HumanePain
She used the Arabic word jinni that means "Genie"
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I understand that, but that makes no sense with the rest of the poem (not that it would make any difference if it did)
__________________
"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.
I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin
Quote:
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Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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03-19-2007, 06:44 PM
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#16
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Northwestern Washington
Posts: 921
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Isn't the word 'djinni', anyway? Still sounds like a poorly disguised plagiarism of Christina Aguilera.
__________________
It is time, it is high time... Yes, but to do what?
--Friedrich Nietzsche
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03-19-2007, 06:45 PM
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#17
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Yew City
Posts: 2,413
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Dude. That's cold.
__________________
I am The Mighty Cooch!!!!!!
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03-19-2007, 07:41 PM
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#18
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Northwestern Washington
Posts: 921
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Tell me you didn't hear that song in your head when you read that line. I know I did.
__________________
It is time, it is high time... Yes, but to do what?
--Friedrich Nietzsche
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03-19-2007, 07:44 PM
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#19
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Yew City
Posts: 2,413
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I am waaaaay too Goth to have heard of that song.
Actually, I didn't at first but I do now and it's stuck between my ears, rattling around in the vacuum it created. Thanks. 
__________________
I am The Mighty Cooch!!!!!!
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