Silly or weird conversations

Lady_Lacrimosa_Umbrae · 06-23-2007, 10:37 AM

Today I have had a conversation that turned out to be really stupid and weird, so I thought it would be fun if we all shared the silliest conversations we have ever had, just to laugh a bit. Can be about any topic and with any person, but on the condition that it's a real serious conversation (I mean, that was supposed to be serious; not just saying randomness with friends for fun). I'll start:

I was this morning in a music shop looking at some CDs, when I notice that Mister Average Jock (as I shall call him) is staring at me. When I look, he tries to get my attention; walks towards me and says:

Mister Average Jock: Hello
Me: Hello
Mister Average Jock: Look... ehm... I was wondering... Are you a goth? If you don't mind me asking...
Me: Ehm... I suppose I am... Yes.
Mister Average Jock: Can I ask you something? You know, I'm curious...
Me: (he wasn't being rude, so I decided to answer) Of course.
Mister Average Jock: Why do you wear black?
Me: Uhm... I like it.
Mister Average Jock: Ahm... and... tell me... when those clothes get dirty... What do you do?
Me: (starting to freak out and wondering what do other people do when clothes get dirty) ... I... I wash them...
Mister Average Jock: Ahm... but then, what do you wear while the clothes are being washed and getting dried?
Me: (with lots of wild doubts about Mister Average Jock's hygiene habits running in my head)... I wear others.
Mister Average Jock: Other clothes?
Me: Yes.
Mister Average Jock: Do you have other clothes?
Me: Yes.
Mister Average Jock: And... are they all like that?
Me: Yes... I mean, they're not just the same as these (at this point I feel that I have to explain everything clear), but they also look "goth" if that's what you mean...

Mister Average Jock nods in amazement, thanks me, says goodbye and walks away while I stare at the back of his neck wondering... Have I just taught him the arcane and supreme secrets of washing up?

Clockwork · 06-23-2007, 06:18 PM

Gahahahaha! Well, at least he was polite about it. That alone is so much to ask for.

Minyaliel · 06-24-2007, 04:05 AM

Hahaha! That one had me laughing big time. Um, the oddest conversation I've ever had... um... *thinks* Ah, yes. I was having a lecture on the gothic subculture in my musical history class two years ago, after having a lecture on Satanism the week before in religion with the same people. Well, it was inevitable.

A classmate (now referred to as "c"): So... um... are - you - a... umm... goth?
Me (now referred to as "m"): I guess so...
C: *picks up my arms and studies them* Nah, you can't be. No scars.
M: Huh? Scars? Wha - wh - what the bloody hell are you talking about?
C: You're not a cutter.
M: No.
C: So you can't be...
M: *disrupt and LOL* So you think that because I don't have any self- inflicted scars on my body means that I'm not a goth?
C: Uh- hu. *nods*
M: You haven't been paying much attention to what I was saying up there, methinks. *shakes head* Listen, last year I was wearing hippie style clothes, right? *C nods* Well, outside I was as goth as your average teddy bear, but I still was listening to gothic music and felt connected with and drawn to this musical style.
C: So?
M: So in order to be a goth, you don't really need to dress in all- black. You don't need to cut. You don't need to be a Satanist or anything... *is disrupted*
C: but you're a Satanist, aren't you?
M: *groan* Not your business, my dear, and even if I were, it'd have nothing to do with the way I dress, my interest for gothic stuff and Victoriana nor would that particularly affect my musical tastes.
C: Uh... rrright.
M: *gives up*
C: *goes off in a flurry of pastel coloured clothing and starts whispering to people about "goth", "Satanist", "orgy" and "ritual murder" while looking meaningful over her shoulder toward me*

wishcat · 06-24-2007, 06:03 AM

Ok here is a nasty conversation a friend of mine had with someone on an online video game. ( Final Fantasy II) It's divided into 3 sections. I've only ready about 1/4 of it cuz I found it really nasty but my friend says it's funny as hell.

http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c3...z/img_0294.png

http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c3...z/img_0295.png

http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c3...z/img_0296.png

the-broken-harlequin · 06-24-2007, 06:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wishcat

Ok here is a nasty conversation a friend of mine had with someone on an online video game. ( Final Fantasy II) It's divided into 3 sections. I've only ready about 1/4 of it cuz I found it really nasty but my friend says it's funny as hell.

http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c3...z/img_0294.png

http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c3...z/img_0295.png

http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c3...z/img_0296.png

What the fuck do you guys get fed?

wishcat · 06-24-2007, 06:23 AM

Just to clarify, that is not me haveing that conversation. It's a friend of mine and some other random guy. =p

Edward Strange · 06-24-2007, 07:31 AM

"M: Huh? Scars? Wha - wh - what the bloody hell are you talking about?
C: You're not a cutter.
M: No.
C: So you can't be...
M: *disrupt and LOL* So you think that because I don't have any self- inflicted scars on my body means that I'm not a goth?
C: Uh- hu. *nods*"

@_@
*Skull-fucks classmate*
Uuuurgh people thinking things like that really make me cross. I mean really, how stupid are some people?
Grrr!!
I mean how -dare- anyone say such things!? Do they have no soul? Do they have any idea the kind of emotional tramua a self-harmer goes through? Do they!?!

*Fumes*

Anyway.
I tend to stay away from talking to people while playing 'net games.
They have a nasty habit of being... Well... Nasty.
And having a shamefully poor grasp of the Queen's English.

What happened to me the other day..
I was staying with my sister and her clan in Cambridge, and I'd gone into a university book shop and this elderly fellow approached me and muttered something about "the trenchcoat mafia."

So I challenged him about it and it turns out he was a very nice fellow who rather liked the idea of being goth and being different and loved how I was going into policing.
He liked my leather studded gloves too. ><

And at work yesterday, first time I paint my nails in... Ooooh... A year. First customer I served (despite giving him a free bag of dog food and thus risking my job no less) after loading his car he takes me aside and asks...
"Are you a goth?"
"Erm... I try to be..."
"I thought so."

Well I never.
*Shakes head*

Tha Duckman · 06-26-2007, 04:05 AM

Shortest conversation I ever had :

Friend : So how do you reckon chicks have sex?
Me : Dunno. Just kinda lie there, don't they.

Then I stole his wallet, and ran away.

Wanderlust · 06-26-2007, 08:34 AM

I got caught stealing stuff from others.

Friend: Caitlin!
Me: Yeah?
Friend: I can't believe you would steal stuff and not share it with me!
Me: (hands over a couple of pounds) Here you go.

Dancing_in_rain · 06-26-2007, 10:39 AM

Dancing_in_rain: DIR
Kids: Referred to as K1, K2, K3, K4 etc.

The scene opens with D_I_R sitting in the metro, waiting for the doors to close. Some kids dressed entirely in black/skulls-and-crossbones come in. They take the seats near her.

*DIR looks up and smiles as it is in her habit to do. Returns to her book*
K1: Yo. You.
DIR: *looks up, puzzled* Who me?
K1: Yeah. You. You a goth?
DIR: Well...it depends what you mean by that. I'm not a Gothic stereotype if that's what you're asking.
K2: Liar.
DIR: *bemusedly* I beg your pardon?
K2: You've got two scars on your arm. You're a cutter. *says it as a statement, not a question*
DIR: Wow. How perceptive of you. I've got two scars on my left arm. Yes, as a matter-of-fact, they are self-inflicted. However, I really don't see how it's any of your business.
K3: You're so screwed up. And you're so rude. You b*tch.
DIR: *smiles* I try my best. Glad to know what you think. Now, I have a book to finish. If you'll please excuse me. *opens up book again*
K1: *grabs book* Guess you'll have to keep talking to us won't you, now I've got your book.
DIR: *getting annoyed now* Right. Enough of this BS now. Listen up you rude little kids. I have to finish that book soon, I'm taller than you, probably stronger you, and I don't really care what you think of me. Give back the book now and leave me alone. I really don't want to change compartment at the next stop because some ignorant children are being annoying. I'll thank you to stop talking to me.
K4, quiet until now: Oh, I'm so scared. The mean emo s*ut is going to beat us up. Oh no!
DIR: I'm not emo. I'm not even goth. But at the moment, I'm getting darn pissed off.
K2: You're emo. Don't try to deny it.
DIR: I'm emo? Tell me, what does that make you?
K2: We're goths you moron.
DIR: *stifles a laugh* You're goths, are you now? So what music do you listen to?
K3: Marilyn Manson, The Cure, Cradle of Filth, SlipknoT. Duh.
K4: You forgot My Chemical Romance.
DIR: *smiles politely* I see. How interesting. Well. News flash my dears. None of those are goth bands.
K1: They totally are! How would you know anyways?
DIR: *enjoying this* Well...let's see. I'm a member of two Gothic forums, I think that going to Hot Topic is ridiculous, I actually read proper literature, I listen to decent goth music, I dress like a goth, not like a kid who thinks that rebelling against the authority and cutting is cool. I can also communicate properly, talk in an articulate manner and I have a sense of common courtesy.Now if you'll please excuse me, this is my stop. *smiles at the dumbfounded little emo-spawn and walks out*

That was a very funny conversation, especially when the kids called themselves goth...*laughs at the memory*

Lady_Lacrimosa_Umbrae · 06-26-2007, 01:35 PM

I suppose you got your book back in the end? That must have been truly annoying...

Edward Strange · 06-26-2007, 03:54 PM

That's horrible!
Bloody small children eh?

Ah-ha, makes me think of JTHM's Anne Gwish in some respects.
I bet they go home and write in their diaries why they don't understand why people are mean to them.

"Slings and arrows! Slings and arrows! Why am I persecuted for my differences?!"

Tha Duckman · 06-26-2007, 03:57 PM

I like to stomp on small people.

Tismine · 06-26-2007, 04:29 PM

You must be damned tall if you can stomp on them.

Various snippets of conversation that I remember:
Hm..
Teacher=T
Me=M
Classmate=K1

Conversation 1:
My techer and I were dicussing Machiavelli and Sun Tzu. All of a sudden, my classmate interupts us.
K1:Are you a Goth
T:...Me?
k1: Dude, no. Her.
M: I fail to see how that relates to this conversation.
K1: Dude, did I say it did?
T: I see. So you wanted to get it out of your mind before another thought replaced it?
K1: um, yeah?
T: I pity you.
K1: Dude, so are you?
M: That's not your-
T: Go stand in the middle of 441 (the local highway)
T: *turns back to me* Where were we before the idiot unleashed itself upon us?
M: um...*replies. I don't remember what section we were talking about*

Conversation 2:
My Latin teacher and I are discussing things in class.
T: So...the volcano just bubbles there, and-
M: Wait, so it's just sitting there?
T: Yes.
M: Can you still see it today?
T: Yes, I've been there.
M: What if you were to, say, need to dispose of a body?
T: you could throw it in there. There would be people around, though, so it's not like it would be easy.
M: You could issue a warning for unstable levels.
T: true. But then you'd have to get rid of the secrity tapes. I suppose you could steal them, or hack into them, and replace them with a loop.
M: Is a lot of mob activity around there?
T: Not that I know of. It would be a great dumping ground, though.
M: Hmm..
T: How would you transpost the body?
M: Cut of the limbs, divide them and the torso in half, and place them in a back pack.
T: That would work. We must plan! *looks around at the students* YOU! *points at one* you die now!
M: *Laughs*
K1: Can we please go back to Latin? You two are scary.

If I remember anymore, I'll post them. ^_^

Methadrine · 06-26-2007, 04:32 PM

That was bloody hilarious.

(and Machiavelli and Sun Tzu.. *sigh* Why didn't I have teachers who wanted to discuss those two lovely chaps...)

Aaroneet · 06-26-2007, 04:34 PM

Those were definitely odd. More, I say!

Tismine · 06-26-2007, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Methadrine

That was bloody hilarious.

(and Machiavelli and Sun Tzu.. *sigh* Why didn't I have teachers who wanted to discuss those two lovely chaps...)

Because teachers are horrible and like to consume your brain cells.
No, I don't know where that came from.
cough-it-might-have-something-to-do-with-the-fact-that-I-go-to-a-private-school-where-everyone-will-hate-you-if-your-aren't-smart-cough
But then the idiots ban together.

I'll post more when I remember them. I have them all in a notebook somwewhere. Key word there:somewhere.

Dancing_in_rain · 06-26-2007, 08:10 PM

Tismine, your teacher sounds so much like my English teacher...It's rather eerie.

I did get my book back in the end. I snatched it back before walking out of the metro in a dignified manner. The funny thing is, those kids were probably older than me by a good four years. Just goes to show, appearances are nothing.

Lady_Lacrimosa_Umbrae · 06-27-2007, 07:08 AM

Good goth, Tismine, I want to have teachers like yours

Many funny conversations here! Post more, people!

Don't Look Behind You · 06-27-2007, 07:57 AM

Oh good God, teacher conversations! Reminds me of a very *ahem* funny year in school I had.

Well here is a conversation a had a week ago. I always have wierd people starting conversations with me on the street.

Me waiting at the train station and smoking.
A girl comes up to me.

G: Um, excuse me do you know what time it is?
Me: *looks at the huge clock hanging on the station wall and tells G the time*.
G: *gets slightly confused* Um, thanks.
A few minutes later G comes over to me again.
G: Um, say can I please have a cigarette?
M: *sigh* sure. You could have just said so at the beginning.
G: Well I thought you wouldn't give me one since I've just had one.
M: Eh, well actually I didn't check if you were smoking....
G: Um, well thanks anyway. Erm, are you emo or something?
M: No.
G: well, why do you dress like this?
M: *gets bored * becuase it's part of my religion.
G: ooooooooohhhhhhh *makes huge eyes and askes completely seriously* well i actually saw those gloves in H & M a few days ago...is it part of your religion to buy things in H&M?
M: Erm, yes. In my religion you have to wear everything that others do not buy in the stores. I saw that no one wanted to buy these gloves...I guess its becuase of the spikes alover them....so God told me to buy them. He will send me the money next week.
G: *frowns and doesn't say anything for a few minutes and then:* Um, how long have you been smoking?
M: *trying to act as if that was a natural development of the subject of God and religion* well actually since I was 13.
G: Oh really!? Bad, that is bad!
M: How old are you?
G: 14
M: and how long do you smoke already?
G: a year or so......
M: Yeah, it's so terrible to start at such a young age. Glad you're not like that.
G: *ignores last comment* Um, you know I was wondering, does smoking prevent breasts from growing? *looks down at her breasts* becuase mine are so small! I want them to grow...do you think smoking makes them smaller?
M: *stifles laugh* Um, well I have never heard of breasts shrinking form smoking...as you see, I don't have that problem...*gets uncomfortable from G staring at my breasts* Um, well look that's my train! It was, um, nice talking to you?

.....Things like that happen to me all the time.

Dancing_in_rain · 06-27-2007, 10:10 AM

That is hilarious! *tries to stop crying from laughter*
Wow. This is a good pick-me-up thread. *nod nod*

Aaroneet · 06-27-2007, 10:35 AM

Definitely worth a read.

Aaroneet · 06-27-2007, 11:01 AM

Okay, now I have a conversation. I was in school, waiting by the copy machine in the office, minding my own business, when somebody comes over to me in an attempt to make conversation:

Girl: Are you Goth?
Me: I suppose so...
Girl: What am I?
Me: You're (name here).
Girl: No, I lean, what is my label?
Me: People are more than label. You have your own
traits. To label you would be to compromise you as a
person, hence to dehumanize you for my own purposes,
in a sense.
Girl: *dumbfounded* I don't get it.
Me: I'm not labeling you.
Girl: You don't dress Goth.
Me: Well, maybe I don't feel like it.
Girl: Why?
Me: Why what?
Girl: Why are you Goth?
Me: I listen to the music, read the books...
Girl: Do you cut yourself?
Me: No...
*guy interjects from the back*
Guy: No, emos cut themselves.
Girl: *in my direction*
So what? (name of girl in my class) is emo.
Are you saying that you hate emos?
Me: No! I like everyone equally.
Girl: Do you want to die? I saw you act, and you looked
like you were going to cry. Are you emo?
Me: No. This conversation is over.
Girl: It's not over until I say it's over.
Me: *walks out* It's over.

Lady_Lacrimosa_Umbrae · 06-29-2007, 11:10 AM

God this one got me laughing! Aaroneet, great way to end a conversation

Aaroneet · 06-29-2007, 07:14 PM

Thank you! I'll try to remember more.