My elders..

Chazz · 05-04-2008, 07:04 PM

I have found that over the years I tend to be more compatible with those of a higher age group than I.

I understand them more and find them to be much more celitified, they are easier to talk too and are generally much nicer. (especially within the Gothic community)

Back when I used to skate I met this really nice guy Ben, he was 22 and was currently attending University at the time. I got on really well with him and me and him went over his uni work and he showed me some various ideas he had come up with.

As soon as somebody asks about this, you tell them who they are and their reaction is "Oh he must be a pedophile".

No that is not their exact words, but often you get those sort of narky comments that boldy suggest that that is their intention of speach.

"Be careful Chazz, lot of weird people out their, not saying HE is but still".

"Keep away from him he is much too old..".

Now I perfectly understand that this is for my safety, but I am currently 14 and in many eyes that is still a small child, yet I have blossomed from my earlier state of the catipillar (In my case a child) and have began to see the various people who are generally good souls and others who are slightly odd.

It is slightly irritating that when it comes to people my judgement is cast ashander, my mother is very VERY insulting when it comes to people.

If she sees someone she HAS to comment. Their is a local punk here in my town (Short hair, septum, leather jacket, camo trousers and army boots) who does have a home, but no income and spends his days selling the big issue in our town.

Now my mother makes immediate judgements on people, but when I see these kinds of people I think that they could be a nice person, I cannot judge from sight and need to find out.

There are many people I do judge though, these are for many reasons, some including safety and others anger. Such as chavs, (white gangsters) the epitamy of scum here in the UK, bunch of nasty good for nothing sods who will do anything to start a fight, the minute I see that gang of Nike wearing faggots I walk away. Same goes with drunks, the slurred voice, the young wrinkled skin and the constant swearing and rudeness, again I keep away. These sorts of people are not worth the time of day.

I suppose that that may seem slightly arrogent, but I cannot stress enough with these people, sooo that ends my rant. Thank you for your time =]

Underwater Ophelia · 05-04-2008, 07:06 PM

I don't know what you're getting at with this, but honestly, you don't come off as very mature at all.

Kristin · 05-04-2008, 07:14 PM

I'm the mother of a 14-year-old - she'll be 15 this month - and I would FREAK OUT if I found out she went anywhere alone with a 22-year-old. Sorry, but when they say it's "for your safety" and such, they're right. I'm not judgmental either and I do get along well with most people of every age and category, but all it takes is one misjudgment of character. Better safe than sorry.

Xombie · 05-04-2008, 07:34 PM

Generally, I've found that most people over the age of 20 will want nothing to do with a 14-year-old, no matter how "mature" he/she may seem. That is unless said 20+ year-old wants your barely pubescent vag in their bed at some point.

I agree with Ophelia. You don't seem mature. It seems like you're trying too hard to ACT mature.

Just saying. =D

KontanKarite · 05-04-2008, 08:07 PM

I'm not entirely interested in 14 year olds, but there are SOME 14 year olds on this site at least that I would probably hold in higher regard than most other 14 year olds.

ForgetThisLostLenore · 05-04-2008, 09:15 PM

I have a problem with some of the seniors at my school and they're only 18 (though sometimes that questionable). I just could not see myself and a 20-odd year old having too terribly much in common, and I don't see a 20-odd year old wanting much to do with me. Seriously, my big problem of the week: will my parents let me go to the flea market?

I just couldn't see a someone that's too incredibly older than their companion of choice being emotionally mature for their own age. Perhaps they hang out with a teenager because people their own age think that they are on the same level as a 12 year old at times, and find that kind of immaturity repulsive. Or they want in your pants.

Godslayer Jillian · 05-04-2008, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristin

when they say it's "for your safety" and such, they're right.

Not really. Adults are not doing this for their kid's safety. They're doing it with the kid's safety at mind. There's a huge difference.
Let's say a 14 year old kid starts hanging out with two other 14 year old goth kids. And I mean genuinely goth. They don't do it to feel "dark" or because of peer pressure. And in fact the former kid likes this so much he is not even trying to become goth like them, but just likes hanging our with them because there's no falling into societal pressure with them. They all like each other, and they got a fancy for good literature, and they are straight edge, and they would rather go support a local band at a gig than mindlessly walk around the mall.
Yet these two goth kids look very goth. I don't mean "always black" goth. I mean Cicero and Bat Brains deathrocker goth, only in 14 year old versions.
Yeah, these are pretty much the coolest 14 year old kids ever, but the conservative parents of the one that doesn't dress in black prohibit him from hanging out with the other two because they don't want him to become "like them"
They tell him it's for his safety.
Is it really?
No; they merely, in their understandably close-minded middle class mindset, think they're doing this for their child's safety, when in fact they're stopping him from a genuinely beautiful friendship that is rarely seen in today's conformist teenage culture.

I can understand parents trying to protect children, but I will never accept that they are right when they are merely rationalizing. When it comes to children, parents use their gut rather than their brain, and if they don't admit it, I won't listen to them until proven they're in fact right.

Kristin · 05-04-2008, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian

Not really. Adults are not doing this for their kid's safety. They're doing it with the kid's safety at mind. . . . I can understand parents trying to protect children, but I will never accept that they are right when they are merely rationalizing. When it comes to children, parents use their gut rather than their brain, and if they don't admit it, I won't listen to them until proven they're in fact right.

That's pretty much what I meant. I'm not going to let my kids hang out with anyone 6 years older than they are, for obvious reasons. Screw "getting to know them;" if a twenty-something wants to hang out with someone in their early to mid teens, I'm going to see huge red flags and I'm not taking any chances there.

To me, it's a different story with who they want to hang out with as peers - by that I mean around their own age, give or take a couple of years. I don't make judgments of any of their friends until after I've gotten to know them. I don't tell them who they can't be with based on their looks. So far my kids have made pretty decent choices with the kids they hang out with. And, in both my personal experience and my kids', the ones who seemed to be the most trouble were the mainstream kids and not the artsy or goth ones.

Maybe it's easier for me to accept the different ones because I grew up that way too. My mom was great, accepted my differences with just a little ribbing, and was loved and respected by all my goth friends.

But sometimes going by your gut can be right on. Some of us parents have seen and been through enough to know a bit more than your average teenager. I sure wish I'd listened to my mom on several occasions regarding who I was going out with, instead of thinking I knew more than she did and she was just being narrow-minded. It would have saved me a lot of heartache.

PhenomenalTranquility · 05-05-2008, 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

I don't know what you're getting at with this, but honestly, you don't come off as very mature at all.

Damn straight.

Breathless Horror · 05-05-2008, 03:55 PM

Hmmm, I'll just say "welcome back"?

Jillian - Totally agreed.

Graveyard.Crow · 05-06-2008, 10:19 AM

Meh, times are changing. Some adults just don't care too much about age, and it isn't because they want to get laid with a tender teenage body. It's rare, but it happens.

Tam Li Hua · 05-06-2008, 11:07 AM

Yeah...I don't trust any 22-year-old guy who's terribly interested in a 14-year-old...unless, of course, he doesn't -know- how old you are. [Yes, some 14 year olds can look like they are 18 or older, my niece included.] But yeah, if I was your mom, I'd be concerned about that situation.

As far as your mom prejudging folks, well, that sounds more just like typical teenage whining about how unfair parents are rather than any valid argument. Have you ever said to her, "Hey Mom, they might be really nice people" ?

JCC · 05-06-2008, 11:22 AM

I know from experience that throwing being fourteen around as a gimmick makes nobody think that you're fantastic. Your post gives me images of you being rather dim to be honest, analyse your situation properly. He's 22, you're 14, he's not looking for your philosophical discusson.

Sort out your spellings, too.

Chazz · 05-10-2008, 04:45 AM

Meh, sorry.. Must of come across like a complete douche before.

Basically my point was that I often tend to get on with people older than me, that being said, many people immediately jump to the conclusion of "Pedophile" and such. It annoys me that I can't just be out and get chatting to someone without being told to stay away and the red flags being raised.

Oh yeah, look not trying to be saying anything to look "Cool" or anything, but I was drunk at the time when I wrote that. Sorry.

Wednesday Friday Addams · 05-10-2008, 04:49 AM

Your drunk and how old?

Underwater Ophelia · 05-10-2008, 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chazz

Oh yeah, look not trying to be saying anything to look "Cool" or anything, but I was drunk at the time when I wrote that. Sorry.

No, you weren't.

Underwater Ophelia · 05-10-2008, 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wednesday Friday Addams

Your drunk and how old?

You're incapable of understanding the difference between "you're" and "your" and you're how old?

JCC · 05-10-2008, 06:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chazz

Oh yeah, look not trying to be saying anything to look "Cool" or anything, but I was drunk at the time when I wrote that. Sorry.

If you were drunk, you're a fucking idiot.

If you weren't, you're a liar AND a fucking idiot for saying that.

Wednesday Friday Addams · 05-10-2008, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

You're incapable of understanding the difference between "you're" and "your" and you're how old?

I'm sorry that English isn't my first language.

Chazz · 05-11-2008, 04:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

No, you weren't.

Say what ya like, but was at my mums friends party and I drank no alchohol, they had a jack daniels cake.

Gotta say tasted really nice but i'm NEVER eating it again..

I advise anyone, if confronted with this cake, to walk away.. Far away..

Underwater Ophelia · 05-11-2008, 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wednesday Friday Addams

I'm sorry that English isn't my first language.

Goddamnit. I do this all the time.
Sorry, then. (sincerely. I wouldn't like it if someone insulted my French for not being perfect.)

What is your first language?

Xombie · 05-11-2008, 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chazz

Say what ya like, but was at my mums friends party and I drank no alchohol, they had a jack daniels cake.

Gotta say tasted really nice but i'm NEVER eating it again..

I advise anyone, if confronted with this cake, to walk away.. Far away..

Unless you're 65 pounds, you did not get drunk from this cake. You would be "tipsy" at most, which still should not impair your judgement enough for you to make a post that even you don't approve of.

Underwater Ophelia · 05-11-2008, 08:48 AM

Or not drunk at all, if the liquor was in the cake. It's put in there for flavoring, and the alcohol is cooked out.

raggedyanne · 05-11-2008, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tam Li Hua

Yeah...I don't trust any 22-year-old guy who's terribly interested in a 14-year-old...unless, of course, he doesn't -know- how old you are. [Yes, some 14 year olds can look like they are 18 or older, my niece included.] But yeah, if I was your mom, I'd be concerned about that situation.

As far as your mom prejudging folks, well, that sounds more just like typical teenage whining about how unfair parents are rather than any valid argument. Have you ever said to her, "Hey Mom, they might be really nice people" ?

I understand your position, bit I'm 15 and I hang out with mostly guys age 17-22. We share many of the same interests (weaponry, movies, music, parkour, etc) and they're more mature, and therefore more tolerable, than most guys my own age. I have a dificult time bonding with people my own age in general (too immature), especially females, so I was very fortunate to find my group. They see me as their equal, not 15, not female, just a person. Sure, for some older guys it may be impossible to see beyond boobs and age, but there are least a few men who just want to hang out with people they find interesting.

badteccy · 05-11-2008, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chazz

Say what ya like, but was at my mums friends party and I drank no alchohol, they had a jack daniels cake.

Gotta say tasted really nice but i'm NEVER eating it again..

I advise anyone, if confronted with this cake, to walk away.. Far away..

That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. You DO NOT get drunk from cake, oh my god...why are people so stupid, oh my god?!