Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 411
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Okay, I'm going to expose my throat here.....
I've never seen a "ghost", but I don't discount the possibility of "IF". I'll tell you what I -have- seen, and what I think it is, though. I'll accept the ridicule.
The only thing I can call them is "Shadows", because this is what they look like, to me. The first time I saw them was when I was about 5. I was at my grandparent's, spending the night. I remember clearly that the moon was full, and shining through the bedroom window. My bed was under that window, facing the doorway into the hall. The door was open. They lived in a house that was built in the 50's, and the windows were high-up, too.
The moonlight shined on a patch of wall in the hallway, and was easily discernable to my dark-adapted eyes. The lines of dark and light were sharp, and square. No softening of the edges. I woke up in the middle of the night, and watched as a darkness spilled along that wall, like ink. Rolling and tumbling, and taking all kinds of bizarre shapes. It marched inexorably toward my grandparents bedroom.
I was terrified, and I called out for my grandmother. She came in and turned on the light. I told her what I saw, and she scolded me for letting my imagination run away with me. I was inconsolable, and I was not backing down. In exasperation, she sent me into her room, to sleep in their bed, and she was going to sleep in mine, to prove there was no "boogie-man".
She tucked me in, gave me a kiss, and went to my bed. All the lights were off again, and when my eyes became dark-adapted again (I was still wide awake), I watched those shadows roll into the bedroom, and surround my grandfather, and fade into him. I also watched as my grandfather's face distort into frightening shapes. I was frozen in terror. I also (this day), find it interesting that with all the ruckus, he never even stirred.
That was the first time I encountered the "Shadows". The following is copy-pasted directly from my personal journal (dated: 02/25/2004), and unedited. The italics are my "self-talk" and dreams that were directly connected to the situation at the time. Sorry about the overly "literary" quality of this, as well as the length. It was the only way I knew the work it out in my own head.
*****
My, how time can get away from you! I had not realized I hadn't posted anything in awhile, until I received a rather concerned email from smtx26. I hope I haven't had the rest of you worried as well. Real life has interfered. Mea Culpa.
Nothing "drastic" has happened. Just day-to-day living in the drgn household. Of course, day-to-day living for me might be rather unusual to someone else.
Case in point:
Remember my concerns about Sam's health? How exhausted he was? And the Doctors couldn't find -anything- wrong?
It was just all that overtime, and the atmosphere at work. Nothing to worry about. It'll correct itself when I get a job, and Sam gets out of that horrible place
But then, Doctors work with what they can see, feel, smell, hear, etc. They don't work in the "spiritual" realm (for lack of a better term).
It's emotional and physical exhaustion. It'll get better when Sam gets out of there.
I, of course, wasn't -as- effected by what was happening for a long time, because I wasn't working. If I was tired, I could sleep when I wanted to, right?
Besides, it's all my fault he's feeling this way.
So, I was oblivious.
Nothing is wrong.
I didn't pay enough attention to the signs.
You're imagining things.
The insomnia, I blamed on depression from being unemployed (don't get me wrong, that played a good part in it, but it was not the -only- cauase).
You need to get your shit together.
I ignored the unease I felt whenever I tried to sleep at night in the bedroom.
Nothing is wrong.
I ignored the dreams that seemed to have a different "flavor" from regular dreaming.
You're imagining things.
I ignored the sense that "something" was wrong. A something that was a constant irritant, that started like an itch I couldn't scratch, to slowly build to a pain I could not describe, nor pinpoint.
Nothing is wrong.
I ignored the sleep paralysis.
You're imagining things.
I ignored the whispers at night, in my right ear (A little clarification: I hear out of my left ear better than my right, so when at work, the earpiece of my headset is always on my left ear. I can hear the caller better, and it helps block out any other sounds. But at night, if I lay on my left side, I hear what could only be described as like a radio in the distance in my right ear, along with everything else that "doesn't exist".).
Then, one night, I had a dream that I couldn't ignore.
Sam and I had gone for a drive, and got lost. No big deal, we've done that before, for the fun of it. "Deliberately" got lost.
The day was beautiful, and we were on an "adventure".
We arrived at a place that at first looked like a firehouse, or a warehouse. And we were lost. But then I realized, I recognized the place, and told Sam not to worry. Let's just enjoy the ride.
Then we arrived at an old house that looked familiar. Like what was in a neighborhood in Wichita that I used to call "dogpatch". Asphalt-shingled, two-story duplexes that were UGLY. No front yards, trash, dead cars, etc.
Suddenly, I felt apprehensive. I -knew- who lived there, and I certainly did not want to see her! I told Sam we need to go.
But it was too late.
My cousin, Tammy, whom I have refused to speak to for several years (over the fact that she chose her child-molesting boyfriend over her children), came out of the house. She seemed glad to see me, and I was suddenly in a "social" situation I was not prepared for.
She invited us into her ugly, dog-patch house. She wanted to show me around. She wanted to "show" me how well she was doing now. And well, she was apparently doing. The inside looked like something out of "Better Homes and Gardens". Filled with beautiful antiques, and modern amenities, like the surround-sound and big-screen TV, and the fabulous decorating.
The child-molesting boyfriend was there, too. But I only caught a glimpse of him.
As she showed me around, I saw a small, triagle-shaped room that was obviously not part of the original floorplan. It was decorated up for a young girl, but felt "empty". The late afternoon sun was coming through the window, and I was suddenly tired. I wanted to lay down in that small, pink-ruffled bed, and sleep. But I -forced- myself back up. Tammy then led me to another room. This was where she was earning her living, growing and selling herbs and other plants for teas.
There, she handed me a baggie full of something that looked like rosemary, but smelled different, and told me that "A lesbian couple wanted me to give this to you and Sam." I smelled it, and handed it to Sam, who smokes some, I think.
Tammy kept telling me how she got such a great deal on this house, and that I should geet one too, so we could be close again. It -sounded- good. But I hesitated. I was suspicious.
Then I woke up.
Something told me that I -had- to talk to a dear friend who is a guardian about this. It was in the middle of the night, I got on my computer, and lo-and-behold, the friend was logged into her Yahoo IM. Something told her she needed to be there at this time (and she -rarely- logs onto Yahoo).
I told her about the dream. She had one warning. "Beware of poisoned fruit." But she also had comforting news. She told me I had the strength to defeat whoever, or whatever I had to beware of. And I had it in spades, so to speak. I didn't have to use everything I had to defeat this person. Just "enough".
We discussed the dream, but no other answers came to me right away. Like WHO.
But there remained a pervasive feeling that I was "missing" something. Something important. For days, I thought about that dream, and what it meant. It wasn't the first dream I'd had recently about Tammy. But it was the clearest.
And all the time, the warning, "Beware" rang in my head.
Now, Tammy is hardly an issue, to be honest. Last I heard of her, was when I left Michigan, over 5 years ago. I had little indication that she would attempt to seek me out, and those whom we know mutually either no longer know where I am, or won't talk to her, anyway. So, even though the dreams were about Tammy, they weren't about -HER-, literally. But about someone else, whom might fit the mold of someone trying to put on a mask of "everything is going great, trust me, and join me".
It was a warning.
And I was finally ready to heed that warning.
And then I knew.....
Sam and I were being attacked.
But by whom? And why?
Then I had another dream....
I was in a kitchen that felt like it was out in the country. Daylight streamed in, warm and welcoming. There was even one of those "half" doors, and the top part was open. It felt like "home".
But my comfort and serenity was suddenly shattered by a thrill of sheer terror.
Someone was standing at the doorway, and I was mired in an engulfing paralysis. I could not move.
And the malevolence! The malevolence that came from the figure at the door was palpable.
No features could be seen. The figure was dressed rediculously in powder blue, and like a ninja. The only thing I saw were the eyes. Bottomless pits of blackness that no light could penetrate.
Something...some part of my mind alerted me. I knew then, this was the one responsible for the attacks on Sam and I.
I was, somehow, able the break the hold this creature had on me, and I grabbed one of my flying dragon swords. I lunged menacingly at the "ninja", and she ran.
I then fell into peaceful sleep the rest of the night.
The next day, I again found my good friend on Yahoo, and described the dream. And I also told Sam. Interestingly enough, he had a dream that night very similar, about a malevolent person whom he could not see the features of, who froze him in terror. He could not remember the rest of the details, though.
But we talked about what has been happening, and we both agreed that we were being attacked. Having the life, literally sucked out of us.
See, by this time, I was working, too. But not even full-time. Yet, I was feeling exhausted, as well.
The next night, "all hell" broke loose.
Sam was asleep, but I was wide awake. Insomnia, again...but this time, a more terrestrial cause. I was pondering who would want to attack us, and why.
About midnight, I crawled into bed, knowing I was not going to sleep right away, but wanting to try, since I had to work the next day.
And I saw them!
The Shadows.
They crawled across the ceiling, like spilled ink. A blackness darker than the night. Blacker that the dark corner from which they came.
I hadn't seen the Shadows since I was young, and was told I was letting my imagination run away with me.
And then Sam started having a nightmare.
A night terror, more like.
He was thrashing, and yelling. And I was feeling suddenly doped. LIke someone had given me drugs. Strong drugs. I could barely move. I could barely try to shake Sam awake from this nightmare.
And the Shadows continued to crawl, and writhe along the ceiling, and down the wall on Sam's side of the bed.
I dared not close my eyes! As hard as it was, I -forced- them to stay open. Because whenever I even blinked, I saw a figure. Blacker than the darkness, with glowing red eyes!
I could not fight. I could not do anything. I could only watch, and and watch Sam stuggle for his life.
Then, I couldn't fight to stay conscious any longer.
They had won this round.
And I knew.....
This was not the same creature as the powder blue ninja. The ninja was not that strong.
But the ninja was being used as a "conduit". The ninja was leading the Shadows to us.
And then it all came together.
I told Sam about it the next day. He placed Buddhist charms all around the bedroom as a ward. We had to start somewhere.
I knew who was behind the attacks. And I could trace it back to when it started.
And I declared WAR!
I had three powerful soldiers I knew I could call on, close by. And perhaps another, who was far away, but who's reach was very, very long.
I only wanted to call on two, for the moment, though. The third was known by the "conduit", the powder blue ninja, and I wanted him in reserve, just in case the three of us couldn't fight this alone. Him, I haven't even told about this, yet. Because I know he would charge right into battle without hesitation, and this "conduit" knows him very well. And I feared she would call on those Shadows to come after him, as well.
Mind you, I have no doubt that he can hold his own. He has the strength. But he would be like a berzerker, and I don't think this was needed. At least, not yet.
My "front line", two wise women, whom, in another time, would be revered, and leaders in their community, were called upon, first.
One was an herbalist.
She sent a package with a vial of warding powder to sprinkle around the room, as well as an incredible assortment of other herbs, like dragon's blood, and white sage.
We "cleaned" the apartment.
And I "cleaned" a mirror, that I -knew- was a portal. The mirror I had been given as a gift from a man I had dated briefly a couple years ago, with a frame of a dragon surrounding it.
It was the ONE object that could be used as a portal that the "conduit" knew I still possessed, and where I kept.
It's gone from the apartment, now.
We cleaned the place last Sunday, and we've both slept well since.
But I don't kid myself that this "War" is completely over. Not yet.
See, this "conduit" joined a "vampire" cult quite awhile back. Her reasoning is that if she is with them, then they would not attack her. But in order to be with them, she had to become -like- them. And I watched her grow more, and more psychotic as time went on.
The "conduit" has lost her mind, IMO.
She was a friend.
But I broke the relationship off not too long ago, when I could not deal with her psychotic episodes of exceptional drama.
Her name, by the way, rhymes with Tammy.
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Lover, Bard, Phone Monkey, and MILF!
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