Men who care more about their dicks than their Girlfriends. - Page 4

Saya · 09-07-2008, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JCC

Is it me, or is every discussion with you the equivalent of hitting a wall with a coathanger? You're making contact, but you're never getting through that motherfucker.

See, by insulting me its really not going to help change my mind. Or is that all you can counter with?

JCC · 09-07-2008, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saya

See, by insulting me its really not going to help change my mind. Or is that all you can counter with?

I'm not countering you anymore, there is no point giving you any sort of retort argument because it simply bounces off you.

Saya · 09-07-2008, 10:54 AM

Because you cannot convince me that sex is something that can be compromised. Might come as a complete shock, but sex is something some people take very seriously, and don't just want to give it away, and in this case has had a very traumatic experience in the past to put on top of that.

gothicusmaximus · 09-07-2008, 10:57 AM

Saya, I think you're underestimating how important sex is to a relationship. Human beings aren't floating, spectral cerebra, we're physical beings moved by physical needs, and, for that reason, even two people who seem made for each other in every other respect will probably be unable to maintain a relationship if they're utterly, uncompromisingly incompatible with regard to sex.

Saya · 09-07-2008, 11:03 AM

I understand that sex is important, but she's not saying she never wants to have sex with him, just that she's not ready and he'll have to wait. Frustrating for him, yes, but no one is forcing him to stay in the relationship, and no one has the right to tell someone when they are ready. And I think a relationship can go a pretty long time without sex, like I said I know people who've been together for years before having sex.

gothicusmaximus · 09-07-2008, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saya

And I think a relationship can go a pretty long time without sex, like I said I know people who've been together for years before having sex.

Probably because both partners in those relationships want to wait. Bleed and her boyfriend have thoroughly opposite desires, to the extent that compromise is all but impossible, and under that circumstance I doubt the relationship will last for long.

Saya · 09-07-2008, 11:12 AM

Yeah, but if they want to end it or try to work it out between them, thats their business. All I wanted to say was that she's not a bad person for waiting, making him wait or feeling bad afterwards.

Duane · 09-07-2008, 12:39 PM

Why should social status, possesions, amongst other things have to dictate wether or not some girls will go out with you?

Necrophagist · 09-07-2008, 01:34 PM

Well if she got molested as child, then she would have had enough of sex, for quite a while. I know I would.

onedarkly1 · 09-07-2008, 01:45 PM

Maybe, peoples pathology differs, depending on a variety of things. When some are sexually abused, they don't want anything to do with sex, others go the other way and continue to have sexual relations that are often unhealthy

Some of them become prostitutes, and strippers, etc.

She propably should get some real therapy. If not, she could end up marrying him and both will be unhappy, he will want it all the time and she will probably not. The feeling of resentment will only fester.

This of course is only one possible outcome, but reinforces my suggestion for getting, and continuing therapy.

________________________________________________
"I died a long time ago."

Catch · 09-07-2008, 02:17 PM

Saying having sex with her boyfrind will somehow end in prostitution is over the top.

She shouldn't have sex until she is ready, but she could be proactive in figuring out why she doesn't want to.

I am sensing she is afraid he will cheat on her and it will be dramatic and to a degree is imagining a huge breakup. Since she loves him, it will be traumatic, especially if there is a hint that maybe he doesn't love her as much a she loves him.

TheBloodEternity · 09-07-2008, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catch

Saying having sex with her boyfrind will somehow end in prostitution is over the top.

She shouldn't have sex until she is ready, but she could be proactive in figuring out why she doesn't want to.

I am sensing she is afraid he will cheat on her and it will be dramatic and to a degree is imagining a huge breakup. Since she loves him, it will be traumatic, especially if there is a hint that maybe he doesn't love her as much a she loves him.

What. The. Fuck. He/she didn't say having sex with her boyfriend would end in prostitution. He said it was common (I don't know if this statement is true) that molestation victims either become completely withdrawn from sex or go out and strip/prostitute/be nympho. You really need to stop fucking jumping to conclusions.

onedarkly1 · 09-07-2008, 02:23 PM

I didn't say having sex with her boyfriend would result in prostitution.

I wasn't addressing her at all in that statement. I was making a general statement. That some people who are sexually abused range from those who don't like having sex at all or very little, to those at the other end of the spectrum who find themselves in a variety of unhealthy sexual situations.

________________________________________
"I died along time ago."

Catch · 09-07-2008, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onedarkly1

Maybe, peoples pathology differs, depending on a variety of things. When some are sexually abused, they don't want anything to do with sex, others go the other way and continue to have sexual relations that are often unhealthy

Some of them become prostitutes, and strippers, etc.

She propably should get some real therapy. If not, she could end up marrying him and both will be unhappy, he will want it all the time and she will probably not. The feeling of resentment will only fester.

This of course is only one possible outcome, but reinforces my suggestion for getting, and continuing therapy.

________________________________________________
"I died a long time ago."

Learn how to read the post above what I say. I don't always quote, when the post is right there.

I have put you on my ignore list, becuase you really are a waste of space.

The post above that says maybe she was molested and doesn't like sex. I didn't say anything about it, but learn how to follow a conversation.

TheBloodEternity · 09-07-2008, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catch

Learn how to read the post above what I say. I don't always quote, when the post is right there.

I have put you on my ignore list, becuase you really are a waste of space.

The post above that says maybe she was molested and doesn't like sex. I didn't say anything about it, but learn how to follow a conversation.

We both fucking read the post you replied too. There is no "maybe" involved, SHE ALREADY SAID THAT SHE HAS BEEN MOLESTED. IT'S CONFIRMED. Maybe you should learn how to follow a conversation.

onedarkly1 · 09-07-2008, 02:38 PM

Catch

I consider you placing me on your ignore list a badge of honor, and will wear it proudly, because I don't speak moronese (taken from the root word moron, to which I am explaining to you because you clearly need it explained), and conversations with you will clearly bear no fruit.

_________________________________________________
"I died a long time ago."

TheBloodEternity · 09-07-2008, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onedarkly1

Catch

I consider you placing me on your ignore list a badge of honor, and will wear it proudly, because I don't speak moronese (taken from the root word moron, to which I am explaining to you because you clearly need it explained), and conversations with you will clearly bear no fruit.

_________________________________________________
"I died a long time ago."

Bwahaa.
I think she was talking to me though...maybe both of us.

onedarkly1 · 09-07-2008, 02:51 PM

Sorry...Catch quoted me above his/her rant so I reasoned I was the intended target, but if it is both of us...I simply accept I am in splendid company!

__________________________________________

"I died a long time ago."

TheBloodEternity · 09-07-2008, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onedarkly1

Sorry...Catch quoted me above his/her rant so I reasoned I was the intended target, but if it is both of us...I simply accept I am in splendid company!

__________________________________________

"I died a long time ago."

That's what I thought too, but I think she was trying to point out the quote that she had been replying to.

Underwater Ophelia · 09-07-2008, 03:07 PM

Bleed, it does seem you like are the only with the problem here.

Your boyfriend wants to have sex. This is perfectly normal.
You do not want to have sex. This is also perfectly normal.

If he is pressuring you by asking over and over, making you feel guilty for giving him "blue balls," or by saying you don't love him because you won't have sex with him, then he is wrong, but so are you for not leaving him.

If you tell him how you feel, and he doesn't change, then it's YOU who is wrong for not ending the relationship. It seems like he's made it clear that he isn't going to change. When you are aware of that, but won't remove yourself from the situation, the way you feel becomes YOUR fault.
You can't expect others to change.

He wants sex.
You don't want to give him sex.
You do anyway.

Unless he physically forced your mouth onto his penis, he was NOT forcing you to go down on him. You didn't want to, and that is perfectly ok. If he said you're a bitch or told you that you didn't love him because you wouldn't go down on him, then yes, he is the problem.
However, if you willingly go down on him because you don't have conviction to stick to what you want, the problem becomes YOUR fault, and YOU are wrong for acting poorly after going down on him.

You didn't have to, but you did. You have no right to treat him badly.

Apathy's_Child · 09-07-2008, 04:16 PM

Feminism is dying, Bleed, and you're one of the people killing it. Bang-up job.

M-Mortten · 09-07-2008, 05:11 PM

Well I think you feellike that because ou have no sexual experience.

the first time someone saw me naked I felt like crap tha day after.
But gradually I began get used to it, I mean we are animal, it's very dificult avoiding sex at any age.

You have to be alone for a while (I'm saying alone with you thoughts not "single" alone )and understand that you are not the only that feels like that.

Well I hope things go right

MollyMac · 09-07-2008, 05:48 PM

Feminism is a weak argument for anything. Take it away from gender and get it back to the fucking individual. What you want and need has nothing to do with your X ot Y chromosome

Tam Li Hua · 09-07-2008, 09:22 PM

This has probably already been said somewhere in the past four pages of replies, but hey, it probably bears repeating:

If he's forcing you into something...anything...that makes you feel that bad about yourself then he DOES NOT LOVE YOU. A person who loves another will be willing to wait, and won't make the other person feel guilty for not wanting to be sexual.

Perhaps it's time for you guys to go your separate ways, and for you to find someone who's more willing to respect your boundaries and still have fun with you, rather than someone who emotionally manipulates you into doing something you don't want to.

There is nothing wrong with waiting, and if that guy is a nympho, then he probably needs some professional help rather than another girlfriend. :/

gothicusmaximus · 09-07-2008, 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tam Li Hua

If he's forcing you into something...anything...that makes you feel that bad about yourself then he DOES NOT LOVE YOU.

Barring physical coercion or possibly the implementation of blackmail, to force a woman to perform fellatio on one is impossible.
If, in your opinion, the boyfriend's expression of his desire to receive a blowjob, and subsequent confusion when Bleedrebellion assented only to later bitch about it, indicates that he doesn't care about her, then I suppose you maintain that only people who agree on everything all the time can care about one another.