Mom not trusting me

DarkPrayer · 10-01-2007, 01:49 PM

Recently, my parents (my Mom especially) have become very conserned about my goth obsession and the way my room is now decorated with toomstones, fake cobwebs, and painted black. Also, my bed rest said RIP on it and the pattern on my blanket is one long coffin. Any ideas how to let them know that nothing is wrong with me? For them it might seems weird, but it's so normal for me. XD

d.Nox · 10-01-2007, 02:53 PM

Sounds to me like you're decorating for Halloween like any decent citizen. Nothing to be worried about.

It'll buy you some time to think of a better explanation--until the end of the month, at least.

Underwater Ophelia · 10-01-2007, 02:57 PM

Your room is painted black?

BAHAHAHA.

Cyntrox · 10-01-2007, 03:06 PM

You need to post pictures of your room...

honeythorn · 10-01-2007, 03:11 PM

Painting your room black can look fine when done with other colours as well. But solid black all over is really taking things too far.

The halloween theme isn't really a great way to start things off. It's childish if done to the extent you say you have done it to.

Why do you need to decorate with tombstones? Why fake cobwebs? It's a place to sleep, not a ghost train on crack. I'm sure many of us have the odd jokey halloween skull or stuffed raven ect, but to take it to the extent of a fairground ride is just unessescary.

If you want your mother to accept your er..interest in Goth and goth culture, via the medium of your room, clothes ect ( I won't ask about the music you are listening to, I am almost afraid to ) why not go for something a little more stylish? A bit more mature?

What exactly is she suspicious of? What is it that she is worried by? Does she think you have suddenly become some sort of " satanist" ? Is she aware that goth has nothing to do with religious affiliation, except perhaps in the sense that religious symbols such as the ankh and cross are often used in art and jewellery? Are you aware of this?

Is it the music she doesn't like? What music has she heard ? ( please not the Manson creature.....)

You haven't been very specific other than describing how your room is decorated.

Renatus · 10-01-2007, 04:07 PM

I don't have to spend money on cobwebs since I stop my family from killing the spiders in our house due to a rather large moth problem. So now we have real cobwebs all over the place. If anything I would say import some spiders real cobwebs beat fake ones anyday, it definately saves you the time and effort of killing bugs that fly in.

gothicusmaximus · 10-01-2007, 04:41 PM

You should hang up of those ghosts that goes "WooooOOOOOOoooOOOOO" when it detects motion, that will lighten any grim mood.

Angels&Absinthe · 10-01-2007, 04:46 PM

TOMBstones (note correct spelling) in your room! O.o Where would you get those? Do they actually sell decor like that? I agree with honeythorn about the mature thing. I consider myself goth and half my room is lavender (It's calming...), so I don't think that decor really matters in whether you're goth or not? And personally, I'm not for the skulls and coffin thing; I think it's cliche, but maybe you should just use the stuff in moderation? You know, take out a tombstone or two...

:O Or you could get one of those cookie jars with motion detectors! You know, you put your hand in and it makes some noise that scares the crap out of someone (the first time). I always wanted one of those.

LadyLucretia · 10-01-2007, 04:49 PM

Any sort of obsession is likely to worry your parents. Have you tried actually talking to them?

LaBelleDameSansMerci · 10-01-2007, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus

You should hang up of those ghosts that goes "WooooOOOOOOoooOOOOO" when it detects motion, that will lighten any grim mood.

EEEEEE YES! I'm so gonna do that! Thanks for the idea.

My room's decorated with red sheets and a red-and-green-and-orange-and-cherry duvet cover. My walls have several posters of drippy pre-raphaelite people, a Loreena McKennitt photo, and a Silly Walks poster which boldly features John Cleese being very silly indeed.

The tombstones and stuff are kinda over-the-top, I agree, and not likely to make a parent very comfortable, especially with a coffin on the comforter and RIP on the headboard. Parents tend to be protective of their children. Besides being good for the kid (to some extent - overprotectiveness sucks), it protects their genetic interests, which is something that's hardwired into pretty much every living being. Coffins and tombstones on the bed give bad signals.

By the way, Renatus, I'm glad you don't kill spiders. My classmates in grade 8 REALLY decided I was weird when I gave this one girl an earful for stepping on one.

Ishkabibble · 10-01-2007, 06:39 PM

As you mentioned, this is an obsession. And it's not entirely bad, maybe your parents just think you're going too over the edge with this. Why not just decorate your room with a little less Halloween decor? Maybe it's that that's bothering them.

Graveyard.Crow · 10-01-2007, 06:48 PM

I don't think it's immature, if this is what makes you happy then so be it. But your parents are entitled to their own opinion.

There is no such thing as taking things too far, there is no standard for decorating, it's your room so be it.

Graveyard.Crow · 10-01-2007, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeythorn

Painting your room black can look fine when done with other colours as well. But solid black all over is really taking things too far.

The halloween theme isn't really a great way to start things off. It's childish if done to the extent you say you have done it to.

Why do you need to decorate with tombstones? Why fake cobwebs? It's a place to sleep, not a ghost train on crack. I'm sure many of us have the odd jokey halloween skull or stuffed raven ect, but to take it to the extent of a fairground ride is just unessescary.

If you want your mother to accept your er..interest in Goth and goth culture, via the medium of your room, clothes ect ( I won't ask about the music you are listening to, I am almost afraid to ) why not go for something a little more stylish? A bit more mature?

What exactly is she suspicious of? What is it that she is worried by? Does she think you have suddenly become some sort of " satanist" ? Is she aware that goth has nothing to do with religious affiliation, except perhaps in the sense that religious symbols such as the ankh and cross are often used in art and jewellery? Are you aware of this?

Is it the music she doesn't like? What music has she heard ? ( please not the Manson creature.....)

You haven't been very specific other than describing how your room is decorated.

Wow....
this was an offesnive answer masked as something none offensive. Why is it that you get to decide what's mature and what isn't?
Why is it that this person isn't allowed to like whatever music they want to( EVEN if it is MANSON)?

MollyMac · 10-01-2007, 08:21 PM

I have a spare tombstone (long story), I just keep it in the garden to lower property value and taxes while stopping people from asking if they can buy my land.

But a black room is silly, in all honesty. If it impractical for most things where any kind of lighting is necessary and a bitch to paint over for re-sale.

I never got the whole self-proclaimed "obsession" thing, either. Likeing something is not an obsession, it is liking something, it is not a problem. Being unable to control yourself and pissing your parachute pants like an excited puppy in the Halloween aisle at Walmart is an obsession. It is a wet problem for the clean-up guy.

Graveyard.Crow · 10-01-2007, 09:03 PM

LOL!
You have a tombstone eh? Have you ever tried putting it standing UP, as if there is an actual grave. That should keep people from wanting to buy it for good.

HellforgedX · 10-01-2007, 09:15 PM

I say just tell your parents it's a phase. Then prolong the phase. As for taste, one man's goth is another man's poseur, I always say. Good luck, kid.

Graveyard.Crow · 10-01-2007, 09:33 PM

ugh.....poser doesn't exist really....not if you think about it.

HellforgedX · 10-01-2007, 10:07 PM

Yes it does, I make 3-D images with it! But seriously, I concur, .Crow. I think no one is a poser (except them damn living statues...) and I like to think I never judge based upon personal taste. IT CAN'T BE JUDGED. But I digress. My entire house is decorated with kiddie Halloween junk all year 'round, with an overabundance of black & orange light strands everywhere.
On the painting the room black thing, I would have to disagree with that choice in color. It actually has been psychologically proven to make a person clinically depressed after a length of time living in a black room. Also, it makes the room seem so much smaller and any amount of heat will turn it into a sauna. Same thing goes for black lights. Nothing but for prolonged periods of time WILL make you go blind.

Graveyard.Crow · 10-01-2007, 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HellforgedX

Yes it does, I make 3-D images with it! But seriously, I concur, .Crow. I think no one is a poser (except them damn living statues...) and I like to think I never judge based upon personal taste. IT CAN'T BE JUDGED. But I digress. My entire house is decorated with kiddie Halloween junk all year 'round, with an overabundance of black & orange light strands everywhere.
On the painting the room black thing, I would have to disagree with that choice in color. It actually has been psychologically proven to make a person clinically depressed after a length of time living in a black room. Also, it makes the room seem so much smaller and any amount of heat will turn it into a sauna. Same thing goes for black lights. Nothing but for prolonged periods of time WILL make you go blind.

Thank you very much for agreeing. I'd paint my room red if I was allowed at all, but I like in an apartment, so unless I wanted to pay them to repaint it after I moved I'm out of luck.

I am REALLY glad someone else agrees though.

MollyMac · 10-02-2007, 04:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graveyard.Crow

LOL!
You have a tombstone eh? Have you ever tried putting it standing UP, as if there is an actual grave. That should keep people from wanting to buy it for good.

It *is* standing up. I have it on one of the hills in the back acreage. And since I am sick of people wanting to buy me out,"Grandma" is a convenient excuse.

The last developer I took for a ride kept eyeballing Grandma's hill, but I refused to take him there. When we got out of the truck, he made me take him to the hill to ask about her "grave". OK, I gave in and took him to her headstone. He blanched when he saw she had only been dead for about a decade and believed she was there. I told him it was zoned for family burial, but that she had the only headstone- and th eland has been in my family for five generations. And excavations are expensive both financially and karmically.

"There are more graves?"

"Just on thsi hill, that I know of. That's why we don't have any crops here."

He never bothered me again, although the zoning commissioner came out. He had a good laugh.

delicti · 10-02-2007, 05:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MollyMac

It *is* standing up. I have it on one of the hills in the back acreage. And since I am sick of people wanting to buy me out,"Grandma" is a convenient excuse.
...
He never bothered me again, although the zoning commissioner came out. He had a good laugh.

Awesome. :-D

Corpsey · 10-02-2007, 06:08 AM

Hahahahaha, your real Grandmother's would be rolling around in their graves or figurative graves if they heard that.

Morbid humor at it's best. It gave me a big grin.

mexjust xme · 10-02-2007, 06:39 AM

ditto my mum wont let me out intil :i become nomal: she even gose throught my phone

Lucretia_my_Reflection · 10-02-2007, 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mexjust xme

ditto my mum wont let me out intil :i become nomal: she even gose throught my phone

Are you sure its not any other reasons why she looks through your phone?, perhaps something else is troubling her.

prophecyofdoom · 10-02-2007, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HellforgedX

On the painting the room black thing, I would have to disagree with that choice in color. It actually has been psychologically proven to make a person clinically depressed after a length of time living in a black room.

Like prolonged peroids of dark weather. But perhaps DarkPrayer's like me, both black rooms and dark weather actually do make me happy. I looked for an intro to get an idea of this person's age, and I couldn't find one. I'm guessing this is a very young person going through phases while searching out their true identity. It is really not necessary for us to mock- her? I'm guessing on the gender. Though, I know a thirty-five year old man who's entire apartment is decorated like a Halloween theme house, and it's actually really cool. He's so obsessed he's made a profession out of it, making haunted houses, decorating for parties, ect. DarkPrayer, if you get good grades in school and don't start cutting yourself or any other forms of self-harm, your parents will probably mellow out a bit after awhile. Reassure them that you just like the way it looks and aren't suicidal.