Meeting with the monsters.

Ishkabibble · 06-03-2007, 09:48 PM

I don't see how people can find a solace in drugs. My best friend now is in the way of becoming another addict. Even though she promised not to get involved with the monsters (drugs), but apparently she's going to start using drugs. The reason I am writting this is because I am sick of her saying that she'll do drugs just because the guy she loves, does them too. I've constantly been telling her that just because he's on drugs isn't a reason for her to ruin her life he did to drugs.

I don't care if she thinks I care about her too much, that's the number one reason she's my best friend. I want to stop her from commiting this stupid decision. Even if I keep telling her nothing a good enough reason for her to mess up her life with drugs, she just doesn't listen.

If you're going to respond to this whine telling me to stop caring about my friend, go away. I have other people telling me that I have decided to ignore.

biohazard · 06-03-2007, 10:03 PM

Hmm this is a very harsh sitiation. You should attemt to contact her friends and tell them to help you convince her. Also, do not give up, If you really care for her. If she is a true friend, she will listen to you and change, otherwise, she isnt worth of your friendship if she falls onto drugs.

Saphyra Runa · 06-03-2007, 10:05 PM

It's sad to watch someone you care about want to commit slow suicide.

Had she done drugs before this guy? If not you need to discuss this with her family and perhaps an intervention might set her right before it does become an addiction.

Cicero · 06-04-2007, 12:52 AM

Drugs, drugs, drugs. What 'drugs' are these? The word is always used to cover such huge ground its ridiculous. Everything from the most innocent panadol to the hardest cocaine is a drug.

First off remember that experimentation is normal. You can't stop her from at least trying these 'drugs'. Not everyone becomes an addict, in fact a lot just find the experience isn't for them and never do it again. What it really depends on is what the 'drugs' actually are. If it's something along the lines of cocaine or heroin you could try explaining in graphic detail the effects of overdoses, withdrawal, and long-term use, etc. Make sure she's extremely well informed before making the decision to use.

If it's something like weed it's still a good thing you're not totally OK with it, but you needn't worry so much as it isn't the sort of thing that will screw your friend up for good. It's only a tiny percentage of people who smoke pot as teenagers that go on to smoke as adults. Both my sisters were complete stoners during highschool and they're perfectly fine now. It isn't physically addictive, which is what leads to the biggest problems with harder drugs.

Any 'drugs or for losers' or 'it'll ruin your life' talk isn't going to help. In fact in my experience it only drives someone to want to do drugs even more. Just make sure your friend knows you'll be there for her no matter what, even if you aren't too keen on drug use.

Sadly with the physically addictive drugs there isn't much you can do to intervene, especially if she's hellbent on joining her boyfriend's use of them. Some people just have to learn how horrible these things can be for themselves, and all you can do is make sure you're there to help them along the way.

HumanePain · 06-04-2007, 03:10 AM

Bravo for being a caring friend. A friend needs to feel accepted while hearing the truth. If you can handle a *gentle* conversation, with listening as well as talking, then point out:

1) "you seem kind of slow/jittery/lethargic/anxious/whatever lately. I miss the old (her name) that I used to have fun with..."

2) Point out a real example of the drug using friend lying and observe "drug use seems to cause people to lie" or "drugs seem to ruin trust in relationships".

3) Point out drug offenses on a one's record can limit one's employment opportunities, and costs significant money (unless she is growing her own stuff).

4) Depending on the kind of drug, point out that users cannot donate blood to help others. (I donate every year, I am CMV hero. If you are in the health profession you know what that means).

As Cicero said, maybe it is only an experimental phase that your friend will grow out of...

FireAndIce · 06-04-2007, 03:42 AM

I have similar problem...there is a girl, not a close friend of mine, we just lived in one apartment...she is the one that "has the control", she is "not that stupid to become addict"....her close friends resigned very soon because she gets very offensive when talking about it...

I think most of those people are on a highway to hell, they just stop on the bottom of the pandemonium...but when trying to get back, there is an essential point...to show the healthy pattern, so they know the right thing...never stop argument, never get upset, for me it is the only strategy...I can show only one model: I am succesful, intelligent, people like me, parents are proud of me...and I DON´T take anything...what about your friends?...the basic principle of need of love and ambition works almost always...

It´s pretty hard...the worst thing is to resign, avoid direct confrontation and passivity...

even though she doesn´t realize now, she will return to it later, like a something she can lean on....

wish you firm nerves...

DeathChii · 06-04-2007, 04:47 AM

Well... is she smoking pot, or is she shooting up heroine? Because there is a huge difference there...

Ishkabibble · 06-04-2007, 06:13 AM

Last time I talked with her she said she was going straight for meth. It bothers me that all those lectures we've been given in school for the avoidance of chemical abuse have simply been a breeze in her brain. I want to talk with her parents about it, no. I AM talking to them about it. I don't want to see her slowly kill herself. I have no idea what I am going to do when I see her again. I want to cry right now because I am so afraid to lose her. I know the effects of methamphetamine aren't seen that rapidly, but I am sure I'll be her friend for a while. And I am not sure how I'll be able to put up with her if she becomes an addict to meth.

I really hope she's only trying to find out how it acts on her and that she doesn't like it. But what can I do? I wished she at least listend to me! x3

HumanePain · 06-04-2007, 06:23 AM

Tell her meth use can enhance her image, show her these real life examples:

http://www.stopmethaddiction.com/img/meth-teeth.bmp

http://www.fadanow.com/images/mama_images_endstage1.jpg

http://www.thealabamabaptist.org/ima...eth%208306.jpg

http://msnbcmedia3.msn.com/j/msnbc/C...50811.300w.jpg

Valerius · 06-04-2007, 06:33 AM

Ah damn, once your friend gets addicted to meth then there's a very slim chance of getting back. I hate being blunt, but if I were in your shoes I'd call the proper concerned government agency and tell them the time and date they shoot meth.

HumanePain · 06-04-2007, 06:40 AM

...and hide your money, jewelry, and silverware.

Valerius · 06-04-2007, 07:00 AM

Yes, because once meth addicts start down that slippery slope they will often resort to theft to keep their drug habit alive once the cash runs out.

DeathChii · 06-04-2007, 04:28 PM

damn... meth? That's the worst drug there is =S
You deffinitley need to do something... Meth is highly addictive, she's not going to just be able to stop- She will have to go to rehab...

Cicero · 06-04-2007, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ishkabibble

Last time I talked with her she said she was going straight for meth. It bothers me that all those lectures we've been given in school for the avoidance of chemical abuse have simply been a breeze in her brain. I want to talk with her parents about it, no. I AM talking to them about it. I don't want to see her slowly kill herself. I have no idea what I am going to do when I see her again. I want to cry right now because I am so afraid to lose her. I know the effects of methamphetamine aren't seen that rapidly, but I am sure I'll be her friend for a while. And I am not sure how I'll be able to put up with her if she becomes an addict to meth.

I really hope she's only trying to find out how it acts on her and that she doesn't like it. But what can I do? I wished she at least listend to me! x3

Talking to the parents is one of the best things you can do at this point. She's lucky if she's still a minor because the parents will be able to do a lot more to prevent her from becoming a user. Meth really is one of the most awful drugs out there, although I'm not surprised at all that she'd want to join her boyfriend in using it. Addicts can be very manipulative like that.

Definitely show her the effects - the links HumanePain posted would certainly put me off ever using it. And make sure she knows that you care.

Good luck with all this. I really hope your friend is able to make the best decision for herself in this, especially since you obviously care so much about her.

Extraordinary · 06-04-2007, 06:48 PM

Not that this is actually about this girl's friend, but does anybody else consider it bullshit when people refer to alcohol and drug addictions as "demons" or, in this case, "monsters"? As in, "I've been battling my demons for months now." This seems to be really popular with celebrities.

It's as if they're trying to displace the blame by referring to their own addictions as separate entities. The power of euphemism...

Valerius · 06-04-2007, 07:02 PM

Gee, at least post it in another thread. A person is in distress and all you can do is ramble about other people's quirky habits. How about rambling about rudeness and being inconsiderate, since clearly you're displaying such qualities when you said all that.

Extraordinary · 06-04-2007, 07:08 PM

Uhm, wow. How do you figure that? Seems to me you're the rude one. It's not as if I said anything disrespectful to the girl or her friend, or even to you.

Valerius · 06-04-2007, 07:29 PM

I'm not going to glorify you by arguing with you, but I will say post it in another thread since you yourself admitted your statement is not in any way related to the girl's friend.

It's called common courtesy.

HumanePain · 06-04-2007, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Extraordinary

but does anybody else consider it bullshit

I think this is the part that was considered rude. It was as if you were saying
"but does anyone else (besides me) consider it bullshit".

To respond to the comment about monsters: Think of it in terms of Jekyl and Hyde. When sober, the addict really does want to be free of the addiction, and has remorse for what they did while high. After rehab, they usually do. But when they are high, they become a different person, a monster who will kill even their own brother. It has happened in my own extended family. So in my opinion, I consider the characterization as a monster a very accurate description.

Vako · 06-04-2007, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ishkabibble

I don't see how people can find a solace in drugs. My best friend now is in the way of becoming another addict. Even though she promised not to get involved with the monsters (drugs), but apparently she's going to start using drugs. The reason I am writting this is because I am sick of her saying that she'll do drugs just because the guy she loves, does them too. I've constantly been telling her that just because he's on drugs isn't a reason for her to ruin her life he did to drugs.

I don't care if she thinks I care about her too much, that's the number one reason she's my best friend. I want to stop her from commiting this stupid decision. Even if I keep telling her nothing a good enough reason for her to mess up her life with drugs, she just doesn't listen.

If you're going to respond to this whine telling me to stop caring about my friend, go away. I have other people telling me that I have decided to ignore.

Unfortunately, addicts have to realize it themselves. It happens when they reach their "lowest of the low". You can preach to her until you are blue in the face. It will not change until she very nearly dies.

The worst thing a person can do is to abandon the addict. The addict will benefit from all the friendship he or she can get. The fact that you are sticking with her may possibly be part of the saving grace. Ultimately though, She will have to come to the realization that she needs treatment to help herself, not to please you. This will probably only happen when she is near mortal sickness.

I do hope your friend seeks the treatment for her addiction. Otherwise, you will lose her.

DeathChii · 06-04-2007, 07:41 PM

Sorry, I just wanted to make sure I point out that - Not ALL drugs are addictive or evil monsters.
I just felt like I had to say that for some of you are using the word "drugs"- which holds a massive amount of chemicals and plants to its name. I just found it a bit to generalizing... nothing against anyone...

As for your friend, meth is definitley very dangerous- ever thought of having an intervention?

HumanePain · 06-04-2007, 07:44 PM

Meth is what the friend is using, and that is deadly.
Pot? Enh, who cares? I can't say I have ever heard of someone stoned out of their mind killing anyone, including themselves.

Personally, I am against it because of the lung damage (it is worse than cigarettes), but I haven't heard of anyone stealing from their grandmother to support a "joint" habit.

DeathChii · 06-04-2007, 07:58 PM

Well, there is more tar, but you don't get addicted or smoke as much as you would for a cigarette, so in the long run it is better for your lungs... but yeah, I don't think it's the appropriate time for me to start my "pot isn't that bad rant"... lol

Ishkabibble · 06-04-2007, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Extraordinary

Not that this is actually about this girl's friend, but does anybody else consider it bullshit when people refer to alcohol and drug addictions as "demons" or, in this case, "monsters"? As in, "I've been battling my demons for months now." This seems to be really popular with celebrities.

It's as if they're trying to displace the blame by referring to their own addictions as separate entities. The power of euphemism...

What I called monsters was the drugs...Not the people who are hooked on them. I guess I should've made it clearer.

Ishkabibble · 06-04-2007, 08:10 PM

After school today my mother drove me to her house. I talked with her mother so I hope she can advise my friend more than I can.

Thank you for the links Humane Pain. I'm sure if she still isn't hooked to meth she can see for herself a probably view of her future.