Gothic Romance (14 lines sonnet)

[obscurite_beautee]

Ravens dancing on nameless grave
As it rains, your thoughts remain
Your blood now is what I crave
I will not let your death be in vain


You are all I desire for
My chills now turn into flaming passion
My desires make my spirit soar
I remain for your return to mansion


Blood soaking the snow covered field on a winter day
So cold, my undying passion for you is still there
Together we will not rot and fade away
For you I will always care


You will always be my only love
You set my heart as free as a dove

[thedoll]

I love your use of imagery, but it lacks clear organization IMO

[obscurite_beautee]

I'd like to know so I can learn to keep improving my writings....So tell me what would be a clear organization IMO?

[Underwater Ophelia]

Just a little info--that's not a sonnet.

[Wormboy]

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

Just a little info--that's not a sonnet.

Yes it is, technically its almost an Elizabethan sonnet except its not written in Iambic pentameter

[d.Nox]

Originally Posted by Wormboy

Yes it is, technically its almost an Elizabethan sonnet except its not written in Iambic pentameter

...which is kind of key. Really, the rhyme scheme is less important than the meter; that's why it can vary and you can still have a sonnet.

Not that you must write a sonnet in iambic pentameter, though purists would say you do. But it is necessary to have a regular meter--which this poem doesn't--otherwise it's "prose poetry," or free verse at best, however it rhymes.

[Wormboy]

Originally Posted by d.Nox

...which is kind of key. Really, the rhyme scheme is less important than the meter; that's why it can vary and you can still have a sonnet.

Not that you must write a sonnet in iambic pentameter, though purists would say you do. But it is necessary to have a regular meter--which this poem doesn't--otherwise it's "prose poetry," or free verse at best, however it rhymes.

touche.....