Did Martian Law Meet it's Objective?

Sir. Helpmann · 12-08-2008, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Despanan

By posting boobs we took the topic of the thread away from those attention whores. Suddenly people were talking about breasts or bitching about someone posting breasts instead of talking about how mean/intelligent/fun/idiotic Helpmann and Co. were. The smarter members like Humainpain caught on to it pretty quickly and enjoyed themselves. The dumber members, and the pig-headed ones who took themselves and this forum super cereal never figured it out, and instead complained about spam.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Despanan · 12-08-2008, 08:31 PM

A poll now? Good god you're pathetic.

Eclipsing the Son · 12-08-2008, 08:34 PM

The expression coup de grâce (pronounced [ˌkuːdəˈgrɑːs]; French pronunciation: [kudə ɡʁas] "blow of mercy") means a death blow intended to end the suffering of a wounded creature. The phrase can refer to killing civilians or soldiers, friends or enemies and with or without the consent of the sufferer. It is often used figuratively to describe the last of a series of events which brings about the end of some entity; for example: "The business had been failing for years; the coup de grâce was the sudden jump in oil prices."

Coup de grâce can also refer to the final destruction of an already sinking ship. During World War II, ships crippled beyond repair were often finished off by their own escorts, or by enemy submarines. Examples include the American aircraft carriers USS Lexington (CV-2), USS Yorktown (CV-5), USS Wasp (CV-7) , and USS Hornet (CV-8). All four of these names were continued by Essex class aircraft carriers, which were renamed while under construction.

In war times, it means shooting into the cardiac or temporal region of an already shot, but not yet dead person during a military or civilian execution. It can also refer to the beheading that follows a samurai's seppuku.

In a classic duel to the death, if one combatant was wounded seriously enough that they were unlikely to survive, a coup de grâce would be performed.[citation needed]

The French pronunciation of the phrase is [ku də gras], but many English speakers mispronounce it as [ku de'gra]. Omitting the final "s" is an example of a hyperforeignism: in French, this mispronunciation sounds like coup de gras, which means "blow of fat", or cou de gras, which means "neck of fat." Furthermore, this confusion is compounded by the name "Mardi Gras."

Sir. Helpmann · 12-08-2008, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Despanan

Unfortunately, many denizens of Gothic.net are particularly stupid/young/too self-involved. Martian Law is easy, fun, and effective. Smart people get it, and the stupid and uptight just look stupid when they rail against it. I call that a win.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

jack_the_knife · 12-09-2008, 01:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Despanan

A poll now? Good god you're pathetic.

No more pathetic than spamming the place with your post-shotgun loaded with tit.jpgs.

Malice In Wonderland · 12-09-2008, 05:48 AM

You can tell the four people that voted "Yes" either did it as a joke or were those that took part in "Martian Law"

Sir. Helpmann · 12-09-2008, 08:35 AM

INT. THE WATERING HOLE, BAR - NIGHT

Welcome to The Watering Hole, your typical lower-class bar in Louisville, Kentucky.

DESPANAN, a bearded, drunk, badly dressed man approaches the bar, and orders a beer. He has the appearance of a tramp or mountain wildman.

DESPANAN begins to talk to JAKE, the Barman.

DESPANAN
(angry, drunk)
I gotta tell you Jake... Kelpy seems to think that he's "Made me into what he is"... *hic*...and if it helps him sleep at night he can go right ahead and think it... *hic*...it won't make it *blech*... true. Just like stealing the words of people smarter than you won't actually make you smart or...*flatulence* interesting.

JAKE looks at DESPANAN while cleaning a glass but says nothing.

DESPANAN looks into his beer deep in thought.

DESPANAN
Martian Law was only... *hic*... implimented as a fun way to piss off Helpmann and Co.

JAKE
What the hell are you talking about?

DESPANAN

(aggressive)
I didn't think I'd ... *hic*...have to spell this out, but since you still don't seem to get it: Martian Law was only implimented as a fun... *hic*... way to piss off Helpmann and Co. and piss them off it did). It was only ever used in worthless threads they dedicated to their own... *blech*... vanity. There were no purposes for those threads existing, and they would have been deleted if we... *hic*... had any sort ... *hic*...of Moderation on that forum.

JAKE
(angry, curious)
Don't take that tone with me. Threads? Forums? Helpmann? What the fuck are you blabbering about? Is this an interenet thing?

DESPANAN
(ignoring Jake)
As I've said before, if Helpmann is attending RADA (big if, as... *hic*... everything else he's said up to this point has pretty much been a lie or a half-truth) I can assure you he's not... *hic*... working. He wouldn't have this level of time if he was... *hic*... actually cast in any kind of serious show, even a school show.

JAKE
(concerned)
Ok, I think you've had just a bit too much to drink now sir. I think it's time you went home.

DESPANAN
(riled up)
Home? I have no home. Hunted! Despised! Living like an animal. The jungle is my home. But I will show the Gnet that I can be its master. I will perfect my own race of people, a race of atomic Martian Warriors which will conquer Gnet!

JAKE
(fed up)
Right that's it. This is the final straw.

JAKE gestures two large large customers, who roughly take DESPANAN and escort him outside. DESPANAN is kicking and screaming, refusing to go quietly.

DESPANAN
(screaming)
You fools! You don't understand! When I was working on ... *hic*...Trojan Women ... *hic*...while in college, my day was "Get up and go to... *hic*... class at ten am, stay till five, then rehearsal till ten pm, stagger home, eat, pass out, do it ... *hic*...again the next day. When I moved... *hic*... on to professional theatre it got worse. The days went from twelve to sixteen hour days. My last job... *hic*... had me working eighty hours a week on various shows. I'm a fucking star! I have groupies!

JAKE
(authoritative)
That was a long time ago. Stop living in the past. Now get out of here and don't come back till you've sorted your head out. Got it? Internet forums and Martian Wars indeed - sort it out! If you come in here drunk again there will be trouble. Mark my fucking words. Now get out of my bar.

DESPANAN manages to break free of the two large men and jumps accross the bar, grabbing JAKE by the scruff of the neck.

DESPANAN
(demented)
I'm a Information Terrorist... *belch*... you ignorant fuck! MARK MY WORDS: Martian Law is easy, fun, and effective. Smart people... *flatulence*... get it, and the stupid and uptight just look stupid when they rail against it. I call that a win! DO YOU HEAR ME... *hic*...?

Before JAKE can answer DESPANAN has been wrestled to the ground by the two large customers.

JAKE
(smug)
That's it, you're barred for life son. I aint no god damned psychatrist, and you're intimidating my customers every time you come in here. If I see you around here again I'm calling the cops.

DESPANAN is dragged away, kicking and screaming like an angry drunk.

DESPANAN
(laughing like a madman)
I'm placing you on ignore again Jake, do you hear me? I'M PLACING YOU ON IGNORE AGAIN... *hic*...!

The two large customers drag DESPANAN outside.

DESPANAN vomits.

JAKE laughs to himself and continues to clean his glasses.

FADE OUT.

Despanan · 12-09-2008, 08:52 AM

You guys DO realize that the goal of Martian Law was to piss you retards off right?

Seems like it's working to me.

Albert Mond · 12-09-2008, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Despanan

You guys DO realize that the goal of Martian Law was to piss you retards off right?

Seems like it's working to me.

No, no. They made a thread about it because it was totally ineffective. It makes perfect sense.

Sir. Helpmann · 12-09-2008, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Despanan

You guys DO realize that the goal of Martian Law was to piss you retards off right?

Seems like it's working to me.

You DO realize that the only person pissed off is you right now?

We're just enjoying the show

PS - shouldn't we be on ignore?

PPS - not so keen to post boobs anymore? Does the result of the poll way heavy on your shoulders? HA HA HA!

Eclipsing the Son · 12-09-2008, 09:11 AM

It's okay despanan. You'll always have a friend in.. PFFTHAHAHAHA ALBERT MOND!

What a LOSER!

I like your philosophy that we MUST be pissed off. There's no other reason we'd do this. Like, oh I don't know. To humiliate you and point out your delusional mindset.

"you must love that fat ugly bitch because you keep calling her a fat ugly bitch"

The logic of despanan.

Sir. Helpmann · 12-09-2008, 09:18 AM

you must be in love that fat ugly bitch because you keep calling her a fat ugly bitch

I sense the well of their enthusiasm drying up since they have resorted to using playground psychology - how fortunate for us that the evidence speaks for itself, and the churlish trick in which Despanan is poorly trying to execute is that he can lie with a pious expression on his face, turning the most staggering of defeats in the most glorious of victories.

Eclipsing the Son · 12-09-2008, 09:23 AM

He imagines us upset.

I imagine him kind of as the blonde boyfriend of the chearleader chick in Napolean Dynamite, permanent smirk with one eyebrow raised higher than the other. Epitome of cool in his own mind. About to have his whole world crash down around him. With no clue where it came from.

And I thought the point of martian law was to save everyone from mean spirited threads. I'm pretty sure you said that the point was to make the threads about more uplifting shit like tits cats and dethklok.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Despanan

By posting boobs we took the topic of the thread away from those attention whores. Suddenly people were talking about breasts instead of talking about how mean/intelligent/fun/idiotic Helpmann and Co. were.

Now it's about pissing us off? Hmm. Equal failure I suppose.

Sir. Helpmann · 12-09-2008, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Despanan

You guys DO realize that the goal of Martian Law was to piss you retards off right?

Seems like it's working to me.

Let's look at the actual goal of Martian Law:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Despanan

By posting boobs we took the topic of the thread away from those attention whores. Suddenly people were talking about breasts or bitching about someone posting breasts instead of talking about how mean/intelligent/fun/idiotic Helpmann and Co. were.

Either the intent was to "piss us off" or to try in vain to force people to talk about breasts.

Which is it?

jack_the_knife · 12-09-2008, 09:32 AM

I like the screenplay, it has potential. You could actually expand on it and make it into a full blown play. I suggest the Despanen Character gets arrested and thrown in a Kentucky jail and later räped in the shower by Mr.Bigg.

P.S. Now I'm going to imagine everything Despanen says in a slurred voice with the occasional hiccup...

Malice In Wonderland · 12-09-2008, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Despanan

You guys DO realize that the goal of Martian Law was to piss you retards off right?

Seems like it's working to me.

If "Martian Law" was so effective, then why have you stopped?

You stick by it no matter what, you seem pretty sure that it works.
Why stop?

PinstripesAndPithHelmets · 12-09-2008, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Malice In Wonderland

If "Martian Law" was so effective, then why have you stopped?

You stick by it no matter what, you seem pretty sure that it works.
Why stop?

Stay the course! STAY THE COURSE! DAMN THE TORPEDOES, FULL SPEED AHEAD!

Albert Mond · 12-09-2008, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Malice In Wonderland

If "Martian Law" was so effective, then why have you stopped?

You stick by it no matter what, you seem pretty sure that it works.
Why stop?

Good question. http://www.finallyfunny.com/uploaded...-30-753661.JPG

Sir. Helpmann · 12-09-2008, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jack_the_knife

I like the screenplay, it has potential. You could actually expand on it and make it into a full blown play. I suggest the Despanen Character gets arrested and thrown in a Kentucky jail and later räped in the shower by Mr.Bigg.

P.S. Now I'm going to imagine everything Despanen says in a slurred voice with the occasional hiccup...

Thank Jack you for your kind words and encouragement.

Eclipsing the Son · 12-09-2008, 10:04 AM

I sense a disturbance in the ignore function.

Despanan · 12-09-2008, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Albert Mond

Good question. http://www.finallyfunny.com/uploaded...-30-753661.JPG

awwe, that's cute.

Albert Mond · 12-09-2008, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Despanan

awwe, that's cute.

blacktext

Despanan · 12-09-2008, 10:18 AM

That comic is a fine example of "Dramatic Irony".

Eclipsing the Son · 12-09-2008, 01:08 PM

What's ironic is that even with all of albert mond's alts you still couldn't win this poll.

Sir. Helpmann · 12-09-2008, 04:31 PM

These people are incapable of listening to reason; both in form and substance, what they have said in this thread has differed little from their past utterances. They believed that they could annihilate threads with the blast of the trumpets of Jericho.

Even today there are some of them who cannot be converted. However, on the whole the number of users who have seen the folly of Despanan and his method have become greater and greater.

The trouble has come. I did everything humanly possible - going almost to the point of self-abasement - to avoid it. I repeatedly made offers to the these people to keep the peace. I had discussions and entreated them to be sensible. But it was all in vain. They constantly envoked my name, spammed our threads and debased Gnet as a result.

They wanted drama, and they made no secret of it. For almost two months the same people had been saying: 'I want Drama.'

Now they have got it.