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| Politics "Under democracy, one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule -and both commonly succeed, and are right."
-H.L. Menken |
09-29-2011, 03:42 PM
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#51
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,700
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Respond to this milkshake, boy!
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"Women hold up half the sky" -Mao
"God always picks the strangest things to get angry about. Get an abortion or gay married and he'll aim a tornado right at you.
Rip off a million poor people and Wall street has no problems. " -Rebecca B
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09-29-2011, 05:46 PM
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#52
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,548
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09-30-2011, 07:24 AM
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#53
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Um, lower, oh yeah, uh, uh ... YES THERE!
Posts: 6,738
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Saya, that is priceless! Ahahahaha!
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In the US, many jobs do not have even one applicant with the necessary skills. Example: Republican nominee. -- Andy Borowitz
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__________________
Lead me not into temptation ... follow me, I know a shortcut!
As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.
Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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10-06-2011, 09:09 PM
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#54
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Um, lower, oh yeah, uh, uh ... YES THERE!
Posts: 6,738
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It says something about the Republican field that the new #1 candidate used to run the nation's #8 pizza chain. -- Andy Borowitz
__________________
Lead me not into temptation ... follow me, I know a shortcut!
As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.
Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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10-08-2011, 08:00 PM
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#55
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Um, lower, oh yeah, uh, uh ... YES THERE!
Posts: 6,738
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Potential Race Between Black Guy and Mormon Poses Dilemma for Bigots
The Borowitz Report
SOURCE
MINNEAPOLIS – A looming presidential race between a black guy and a Mormon is creating a major quandary for America’s bigots, a new poll reveals.
According to the poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, a broad majority of likely bigot voters “strongly agreed” with the statement, “If it winds up being between a black guy and a Mormon I don’t know what I’ll do because I don’t know which I hate more.”
Tea Party activist Eldin Brazelton of Oak Park, Illinois, expressed a frustration typical of the bigots surveyed: “We’ve spent the last three years stirring up anger towards a black guy, and that’s all going to go to waste if we just up and nominate a Mormon.”
According to Mr. Brazleton, a presidential choice between President Barack Obama and former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney would be no choice at all: “For the life of me I don’t know why we can’t just have a regular President.”
Mr. Brazleton, who considers himself a sexist as well as a bigot, said that the doomsday scenario unfolding for 2012 offered one small silver lining: “At least we know it’s not going to be a woman this time.”
Elsewhere, in response to the ongoing Occupy Wall Street protests in lower Manhattan, banking giant Goldman Sachs announced today that it was investing in pepper-spray futures. HA!
__________________
Lead me not into temptation ... follow me, I know a shortcut!
As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.
Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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12-11-2011, 11:21 AM
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#56
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Um, lower, oh yeah, uh, uh ... YES THERE!
Posts: 6,738
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Ladies and Gentlemen, another Rick Perry PSA:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtFzu...layer_embedded
"I'm wearing the jacket again, aren't I? Dammit!"
__________________
Lead me not into temptation ... follow me, I know a shortcut!
As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.
Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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12-22-2011, 05:20 PM
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#57
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Suburban Hell
Posts: 29
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You know what, the funny (and slightly disturbing) thing is that all those characterizations are true...so, so true.
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