Spooky News Briefs - Page 2

Blushing Heliophobe · 02-22-2006, 06:43 AM

What do you say at the funeral? I mean, what kind of emotional tribute can you give this kid to make his death tragic and noble?!?

Ben Lahnger · 02-22-2006, 07:08 AM

Third stun gun death in month in New Orleans area

from the website of The Times-Picayune (click above link for full story)

February 22nd, 2006

By Paul Rioux
St. Tammany bureau

Sheriff reveals Taser death -
Man died Sunday 36 hours after arrest

A Mandeville area man died Sunday about 36 hours after he was subdued with an electronic stun gun by St. Tammany Parish sheriff's deputies responding to a domestic disturbance at his home, authorities said Tuesday.

The incident marked the third time in less than a month that a suspect has died after being shocked with a Taser gun in the New Orleans area.

Gary Bartley, 36, died Sunday afternoon at Lakeview Regional Medical Center, where he was taken off life support after doctors declared him brain dead, said Mark Lombard, chief investigator for the St. Tammany Parish coroner's office.

Deputies used a Taser to subdue Bartley early Saturday after he ransacked his home, barricaded himself in a bathroom and fought with deputies who tried to arrest him, Sheriff's Office spokesman George Bonnett said.

Bartley, who had cuts on his hands and arms from broken glass, was taken to Lakeview Regional, where he had a heart attack and lost consciousness, authorities said.

Doctors re-established a heartbeat, but Bartley remained unconscious and on a ventilator in the intensive care unit until he died, Lombard said.

...

The deputies used a standard Taser that shoots an incapacitating jolt of electricity into a suspect through two metal probes that can be fired from up to 21 feet away, Bonnett said.

The stun guns are touted as a way to subdue combative suspects without resorting to physical force or gunfire. But some medical experts say the guns pose a serious risk to people who are mentally unstable, intoxicated or have medical conditions, especially heart trouble.

Amnesty International has documented more than 75 Taser-associated deaths nationwide in the past few years.

Three such deaths have occurred in the New Orleans area in the past month.

On Feb. 13 a state trooper working with the Hurricane Katrina Task Force used a Taser gun to subdue a knife-wielding man who had barricaded himself in an ambulance in the French Quarter. The 33-year-old man had a heart attack on the way to a hospital and died several hours later, officials said.

On Jan. 25 in Metairie, Jefferson Parish sheriff's deputies used two Tasers on a 47-year-old man who suffered from bipolar disorder and was being taken into custody for commitment. The man died less than an hour later at East Jefferson General Hospital.
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Somehow, I'm not shocked.

Ben Lahnger · 02-22-2006, 08:06 AM

Senseless Murders

Almost all murders are senseless, but these recent killings really highlight for me the pointlessness of unmitigated aggression. These are three headlines - click on them to read the whole story.

Fort Lawn card game ends in death

from the website of The Chester News & Reporter (click above link for full story) - February 22nd, 2006

Florida man charged with killing roommate over lack of toilet paper

from the website of The Canadian Press (click above link for full story) - February 21st, 2006

Cops: 4-Year-Old Murdered Over A Knocked-Over TV

from the website of CBS 2 - WCBS-TV, New York (click above link for full story) - February 3rd, 2006

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No joke ... this is just sad.

Ben Lahnger · 02-28-2006, 09:19 AM

Texas beaurocracy at work!

Half-built home a total nuisance in Allen

Dispute between city, construction firm stalls project 18 months

from the website of WFAA-TV Channel 8, Dallas-Fort Worth, TX (click above link for full story)

07:11 AM CST on Wednesday, February 22, 2006

By ED HOUSEWRIGHT / The Dallas Morning News

ALLEN – At least the weeds have been mowed.

That's about the only progress that's occurred in the past 18 months on a deteriorating, half-built home in an upscale neighborhood.

A dispute between the builder, Mercedes Homes, and the city of Allen has halted construction and created a monumental eyesore for nearby residents. The exterior walls are peeling. The interior framing is clearly visible from the street.

The 2,300-square-foot home at 1019 Rushmore Drive is one of the last unfinished houses in the east Allen neighborhood. Most homes are priced from $200,000 to $300,000.

"Tear it down or finish it," said Maelena Kling, who lives across the street.

The issue has divided members of the Woodland Park Homeowners Association. Some residents blame Mercedes Homes. Some blame the city. The fight, now in court, centers on the location of the home's front-entry garage. According to city codes, it should be 18 feet farther from the street.

Mercedes, however, received a building permit to start work.

Two months into construction, city officials say, they realized the permit was issued in error and ordered the builders to stop.

Mercedes, which has built more than 250 homes in Allen, should have known that the garage was too close to the street, officials say.

"It's an unfortunate set of circumstances," said Allen City Manager Peter Vargas. "Obviously, we made an error. But we also stipulate that the developer is responsible for following all the building requirements."

...

In early December, Mercedes Homes requested a variance from the city's Board of Adjustment to continue construction. The board voted 3-2 in favor of the exception. But four votes were required. The homebuilder then sued the city.

"Mercedes relied upon the issuance of the Building Permit as confirmation ... by the City that the Plans were in conformance" with building codes, the lawsuit says.

Dennis Kline, president of the Woodland Park Homeowners Association, said he expected the Board of Adjustment to allow construction to continue. Mercedes had offered to upgrade the home's building materials and landscaping to get the go-ahead. It said that the long exposure to the weather hadn't ruined the structure.

"I felt really frustrated because Mercedes had said ... they could have it done in 45 days," Mr. Kline said.

Ben Lahnger · 02-28-2006, 10:07 AM

BIZARRE CONSTRUCTION DEATHS IN THE NEWS:

'Bizarre' Electrocution Prompts Home Builder Lawsuit

from the website of WKMG-TV Channel 6, Central Florida (click above link for full story)

February 24, 2006

Deliveryman Rafael Ugalde died while on the job at 2777 Shearwater St. in Lennar's Lost Lake Reserve in Clermont, Fla. Ugalde was electrocuted even though power to the room had been turned off, the report said.

Attorney O.B. Samuel, who has documented the investigation into Ugalde's death, said a drywall screw had been fired through the yellow wire casing, piercing the hot wire inside and the metal stud. That created a giant power circuit that electrified the house, according to the report.

An electrical subcontractor for the Lennar project found 110 volts flowing through the screws of the room's mirror, the report said. "That discovery is important because Rafael Ugalde was electrocuted as he hooked the dryer hose to a vent," Holfeld said.

Backhoe accident leaves one dead

from the website of TheUnion.com, Western Nevada County, CA (click above link for full story)

February 25, 2006

A construction worker was killed Friday evening when he became pinned under the arm of a backhoe at a home construction site on the 15000 block of McCourtney Road.

The man had been operating the machine by himself and had apparently walked around to the back when he became entangled in the mechanisms, said Nevada County Consolidated Fire District Battalion Chief Vern Canon.

The (construction) workers reportedly loaded the man's body into the back of the backhoe and drove it up near the house, then laid him on the ground.

The workers leaned against equipment with their heads down near the man's body, which they had covered in a blue tarp, as they awaited sheriff's investigators to arrive to the scene.

Company fined in trench fatality

from the website of The Enquirer, Cincinatti, OH (click above link for full story)

February 23, 2006

The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) announced today that it is proposing $194,250 more in fines against the Sunesis Construction Company following inspections at three trenching sites opened between August and October 2005.

Sunesis employee Timothy Roark, 28, of Brookville, Ky., died July 31 in Deer Park when the trench he was working partly caved in on him.

Another Sunesis worker, Greg Miller, died Oct. 17 in Hillsboro in Highland County, (when a) steel plate fell on him.

OSHA reviews construction accident - Man crushed by excavator

from the website of The Times-Herald Record, New York's Hudson Valley (click above link for full story)

February 24, 2006

A fatal construction accident Tuesday afternoon on Terandon Road is under investigation by the U.S. Occupational Health and Safety Administration.

State police Investigator Stanley O'Dell said there was no evidence that the excavator's safety features were altered in the accident that killed the operator, Jeffrey Lawrence, and seriously injured his employer, Donald Hasenflue, owner of DHL Excavating of Rosendale.

Lawrence, 47, had been digging a trench with a Kubota PC 120 about 2 p.m. Tuesday near a newly installed modular home on Teradon Road. As he left the cab, Lawrence accidentally hit a lever that swung the cab around and pinned him against a tree.

Hasenflue, 46, who'd left the site to pick up a load of sand, returned about a half-hour later to find Lawrence trapped by the excavator. He reached into the cab and pressed a release lever hard enough to have the cab swing around and strike him as well, breaking several ribs.

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Construction workers are usually considered studs, but too often they wind up stiffs.

tenet_2012 · 03-13-2006, 04:59 AM

Brum promise internal Butt probe (Archived)

Birmingham boss Steve Bruce has to decide whether or not to punish midfielder Nicky Butt after the player stormed out of the team hotel before Monday's game at West Ham after finding out he was dropped.

The 31-year-old went home without Bruce's permission and the Blues manager may punish the star: "I will be doing my own inquiries into it and we will deal with the matter over the next 48 hours in our own internal way.

"I will have discussions with him. He is obviously disappointed.

"Nicky didn't ask for permission, he decided on his own bat to leave and go home.

"Alex was a makeshift midfielder with the injuries we've got but I wouldn't have thought that played any part in Nicky's decision. Not at all.

"Nicky didn't play in the last game because of injury and we decided that he was not going to be involved in the 16.

"He travelled with the team and when he wasn't involved with the 16, he left to go home.

"Nicky went home from the team hotel. Of course, that is not normal but you can understand his frustration and disappointment.

"He felt he would be better going and watching it at home rather than be with us. It is not ideal but that is what has happened.

"I will deal with it in a way I see fit. It is a bit difficult now with emotions running the way they are because I've just seen my team get stuffed."

tenet_2012 · 03-13-2006, 05:06 AM

Sorry...

Source:

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=16256

Cruel Intentions · 03-13-2006, 06:53 AM

New Ferrari Pit Crew

Modena, Italy: FERRARI'S F1 TEAM HAS FIRED ITS ENTIRE PIT CREW.

The announcement follows Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the Scottish Executive's "Work For the Dole" Scheme and hire unemployed youths from Glasgow.

The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths in Glasgow were able to remove a set of car wheels in less than 6 seconds using a shifting spanner, a lump-hammer, a dozen house bricks and all carried out while sky-high on Mad Dog 20/20. Whereas Ferrari's existing crew is in peak fitness and still requires more than 8 seconds using "state of the art equipment".

Taking on this new crew was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Ferrari Management. As most races are won & lost in the pits, Ferrari would have an advantage over every other team.

However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for. During the Crew's first practice session, not only were they able to change the tyres in under 6 seconds, but within a further 12 seconds they had resprayed, re-badged, and sold the vehicle over to the McLaren Team for six crates of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Coulthard's bird in the shower.

Ben Lahnger · 03-13-2006, 08:37 AM

When the going gets weird, the weird may turn pro, but normal people turn super-normal.

from the website of the Dallas-Fort Worth Star-Telegram (click above link for full story)

Sun, Mar. 12, 2006

By Kathleen Parker of The Orlando Sentinel

Banality of Evil, meet Absurdity of Denial.

Such was my thought as I listened to the recorded telephone conversation between the man who confessed to mowing down several people on the University of North Carolina campus in Chapel Hill with an SUV and the 911 police dispatcher whom he called to report his crime.

The recording, which can be heard online, is so earnestly deadpan that it sounds like a comedy skit. Mohammed Reza Taheri-azar calmly tells the female dispatcher that he has just hit some people with his vehicle and that police can come and arrest him. He estimates that he hit, oh, maybe 15 people.

His tone is such that he might be reporting that the paint is now dry and the carpet installers can get started. The dispatcher, meanwhile, is typing furiously. Throughout Taheri-azar's accounting, she repeatedly asks him to spell his name. It ain't Joe Smith, after all. You can sense her shock and her attempt to ground herself by getting the spelling right.

When the going gets weird, the weird may turn pro, but normal people turn super-normal.
You just ran over 15 people, got that, but would you mind spelling that name one more time?

Taheri-azar patiently spells and respells, while trying to explain his motives: "Really, it's to punish the government of the United States for their actions around the world," he says.

Then he notes, with the voice of a meteorologist on a flawless day, that his silver Jeep Cherokee is still idling and that the police really can come arrest him now. Aha, here they are now. The dispatcher urges her caller to put down the phone and raise his arms above his head, OK?

OK, says Taheri-azar. Click. Dial tone.

...

To hear a recording of the call, go to www.newsobserver.com/102/story/415421.html

No comments ... just posting for your observation.

Ben Lahnger · 03-13-2006, 09:40 AM

Plunging buses cause death around the globe.

Here are some headlines and links to the related news stories of recent bus plunge disasters:

Hopes fade in Turkey bus plunge

from the website of the BBC News (click above link for full story)

March 9. 2006

At least a dozen dead in Nepal bus mishap

from the website of the DNA - India (click above link for full story)

March 8. 2006

Tourists die in Rome bus plunge

from the website of the BBC News (click above link for full story)

February 7. 2006

Quake road bus plunge 'kills 24'

from the website of the BBC News (click above link for full story)

December 20. 2005

_______________

"Ride Greybound, and leave the plunging to us!"

Reject_Bunnies · 03-13-2006, 01:51 PM

Hot and cold running beer...

Mon Mar 13, 8:35 AM ET

OSLO (Reuters) - A woman thought she was in heaven when beer instead of water flowed from the taps in her apartment in west Norway.

"I turned on the tap to clean some knives and forks and beer came out," Haldis Gundersen told Reuters from her home in Kristiansund, west Norway. "We thought we were in heaven."

Beer in Norway is among the most expensive in the world with a 0.4 liter (0.7 pint) costing about 50 crowns ($7.48) in a bar.

Gundersen said she tried the beer but that it tasted a bit odd and was not fizzy.

It turned out that a worker in a bar two floors below had mixed up the pipes on Saturday evening, wrongly connecting a new barrel to a water pipe leading to Gundersen's flat. The bar got water in its beer taps.

"If it happens again I'm going to order Baileys (coffee liqueur)," she said.

Ben Lahnger · 03-14-2006, 09:28 AM

Miss Deaf Texas Struck & Killed By Train

from the website of the KXAN TV-36 in Austin, TX (click above link for full story)

March 13. 2006

Austinite Tara McAvoy was the reigning Miss Deaf Texas. She graduated last year from the Texas School For The Deaf.

On Monday, she was struck by a train and killed at the tracks between West Mary and Oltorf in South Austin.

Just after 2 p.m. Monday, a train heading northbound hit and killed McAvoy. Police say she was not walking on the tracks but alongside them, close enough to put her right in harm's way.

Adam Martinez has been a security officer at the Texas School For The Deaf for four years. He didn't know McAvoy well, but he definitely knew of her.

"My heart just feels for her," Martinez said. "She was a real nice student, real nice... very bright. She had a bright future ahead of her."

Martinez says he worries about all the time about a driver and a vehicle hitting one of the students.

"We are at a deaf school," Martinez said. "A lot of people just come out whenever they want. They won't hear you."

"We don't know if she was actually crossing," said Laura Albrecht with the Austin Police Department. "We do know that she was just off the tracks, west of the tracks, and then was struck by the train."

The train, heading northbound at the time, was a Union Pacific. A spokeperson with the company tells us the conductor honked the horn several times, though McAvoy obviously could not hear it. They also said, "Our thoughts and prayers go out to the family of this woman. We would like for people to realize that walking on railroad tracks is very dangerous."

----------------------------

This is 2006! We can perform microsurgery on the brain, detect water on the moons of Saturn and travel around the globe in a day. But we can't find an effective alert system to indicate oncoming trains on the tracks near a school for the deaf?!?!?

This is just maddening. Such a useless, avoidable loss.

Ben Lahnger · 03-14-2006, 12:14 PM

Keeping deaf fans rockin'

from the website of the The Seattle Times (click above link for full story)

March 8. 2006

By Marc Ramirez - Seattle Times staff reporter

The flashing lights, the crowd's giddy energy. The 44-year-old man-boy himself, Jon Bon Jovi. Would Shannon Kennedy miss this, even if she could barely hear a thing? No way.

As Bon Jovi's band launched into a tirade of drum and guitar, Kennedy, deaf since age 2, nodded her coolly disheveled head to the beat, digital camera in hand. Garth Brooks, Shania Twain were more her style, but she couldn't wait to sing along with Bon Jovi's "Livin' On A Prayer" and "Wanted Dead or Alive."

Tonight, she would, with the help of JoAnna Ball, who stood, red ponytail silhouetted in darkness, on an 18-inch-high platform near Kennedy and son Elijah, 9.

Ball and others like Pam Parham, who also worked the show, are professional interpreters who help deaf fans experience the power of live concerts, positioned between those fans and the stage.

The craft is harder than it sounds: At its best, it's being prepared and knowledgeable enough to communicate the essence of an artist's lyrics over the actual words. By law, venues must provide interpreters upon request. And while local ticket sellers report just a handful of requests a year — typically for big-name events — it's been particularly busy for KeyArena, which has trotted out U2, McCartney and the Stones.

At Monday's show, Bon Jovi himself had yet to take the stage. The crowd rippled with anticipation. You could see it play out in Ball's face and hands, which bent and contorted as her body swayed to the music. With such help, "you feel like you're part of it," Kennedy says. "It's like when you go to the movies — if the movie is captioned, you can enjoy it with everyone else."

Finally, Bon Jovi slithered onstage through the crowd, whose excitement registered in Ball's face: She's the kind of interpreter Kennedy and others like — expressive, part of the action.

"I love to see the interpreter put some passion into the song, not just stare at me and interpret word for word," says Seattle biotech worker Ian Aranha, totally deaf since age 9.

For Aranha, the allure of live concerts is the amped-up bass, which is why he likes venues that put deaf patrons close to the speakers. "The vibrations we can pick up are great," he writes. "We can actually feel the music better than hearing people."

Ball, the interpreter, is a rapid-fire marionette, with a face meant for the stage — sharp chin, prominent cheekbones, operatic eyebrows. Her mouth simulated applause; her hands pulsed through the air to grace her forehead or touch against her cheek in can't-believe-it surprise.

Then: pointed finger to chest. "Shot through the heart," is what the crowd heard, and what Kennedy saw, as "You Give Love A Bad Name" began. Before long, Kennedy was singing along, fist joyously pounding the air.

American Sign Language (ASL) is all about expression; it's visual, so even mellow music can produce facial fireworks. No formal training program exists for live-music interpretation, so practitioners learn by watching others and working with ASL coaches.

Ball, who has done shows by U2, Nelly and Gwen Stefani, began concert work as a grad student in Washington, D.C., where she got a job with an agency fielding numerous concert requests. One day the call came for someone to interpret for alt-electronic band Garbage, and she was the only one to respond.

"Ecstatically," she says. "No one else knew who they were."

-----------------------------------------

The other end of the spectrum from the previous news story. Making a rock concert accessable.

WolfMoon · 03-19-2006, 08:17 AM

That is so cool, Ben!

I didn't even know that deaf people went to concerts. Cuz ya know, they're deaf. I'm glad that I'm always learning something new.

tenet_2012 · 03-24-2006, 04:03 AM

Author of V for Vendetta wants nothing to do with movie.

Story

Shi'ark · 03-24-2006, 04:17 AM

Alan Moore. A comic God. Though I haven’t read V yet but will after I see the film. That way the I not going to think the film’s crap (unless it is crap) and seeing a film version of any thing I read have never ruined the book so that’s ok.

tenet_2012 · 03-27-2006, 07:20 AM

Teatime Love Bite

WolfMoon · 03-27-2006, 09:06 AM

Tenet, the link doesn't work.

*pouts*

Edit: I like Alan Moore. I wanna lick his brain.

Would that be legal?

tenet_2012 · 03-27-2006, 09:09 AM

What about this?

http://www.rudefun.com/pics/various/pic38.html

WolfMoon · 03-27-2006, 09:16 AM

That's excellent, babe!

Guess he almost lost his head.

tenet_2012 · 03-28-2006, 03:50 AM

Seals slaughtered in Canada

26 Mar 2006

Nick Gibbens

The mass slaughter of hundreds of thousands of Harp seals is under way in Canada.

The Canadian government permits the culling, saying it must be done in order to maintain a healthy seal population and high fish stocks.

More than 325,000 seals, many of which are under three months old, will be killed on the ice floes off the Atlantic coast.

Last year, according to statistics provided by the Canadian government, 329,829 seals were slaughtered, and 98 per cent of them were less than three months old.

But the culling has prompted animal rights groups to call for a boycott of all Canadian seafood products until the slaughter stops.

"The hunt is inhumane and cruel. Veterinary studies have shown that humane killing guidelines are not enforced and in many cases seals are skinned while conscious," said Rebecca Aldworth of the Humane Society of the United States (HSUS).

"Today's killing levels meet and even exceed those of the 1950's and 60's, when close to two-thirds of the harp seal population was wiped out. Harp seals now face a double threat to their survival - the impacts of climate change and historic high levels of commercial hunting.

Fred O’Regan, IFAW: "Canada is better than this. It's time for the new Canadian government to shut down the seal hunt."

"The HSUS is calling for a boycott of all Canadian seafood."

Celebrities such as former Beatles star Sir Paul McCartney and his wife have also expressed their disgust at the annual cull.

"We're devastated to learn that 325,000 of these harp seals-almost all of them defenseless babies-will be clubbed and shot to death," said Heather McCartney.

Sir Paul added: "Heather and I chose to come out to the ice floes before the hunt began because it would break our hearts to have to see the cruelty of the hunt."

According to the International Fund for Animal Welfare (IFAW), the size of the hunt coupled with environmental uncertainty due to climate change is putting the harp seal population at serious risk.

"This is a cruel hunt for products that nobody needs," said Fred O’Regan, IFAW's president and chief executive.

"Canada is better than this. It's time for the new Canadian government to shut down the seal hunt."

Seal pups may be legally killed as soon as they begin to moult their white natal coats, usually at about two weeks old.

"Seals are hunted primarily for their pelts, which are used in the fashion industry," the IFAW said in a press release

"This is a hunt for seal pups.

"The international community is appalled by the cruelty of Canada's baby seal hunt. This year Italy and Mexico passed legislation to ban the importation of seal products. Belgium, the UK and the Netherlands are all considering legislation to ban seal products. The US also prohibits the importation of seal products."

Source

tenet_2012 · 03-29-2006, 07:31 AM

I don’t know if you’ve ever tried working. I have and I don’t recommend it. I never did develop a natural enthusiasm for it the way some people do. I’m quite good at watching other people work. But my natural inclination is just to avoid work altogether.

Avoiding work is, of course, a learned skill. I wasn’t always as accomplished as I am now.

I was eighteen when I moved into a tiny room in North London. I was in pursuit of a life of sophisticated leisure. I thought perhaps becoming a romantic artist might suit me well. A year previously I had a parting-of-the-ways with my parents. It seemed they wanted me to get a so-called job. It was a cruel quirk of fate that I had not been born into an aristocratic family. I was sure that I had the sensibilities of the idle rich: the leisure class. I was convinced there must have been a mix up at the maternity wing where I was born. My parents were shopkeepers.

I came to realize that just living required effort, and I needed time to consider all this. I had made progress on the domestic front. I could now cook simple dishes. I was particularly gifted at Two Can Mash. Recipe: Open two cans, mash them together, heat and serve. I was no longer setting kitchens on fire or even filling my room with smoke from various burnt offerings.

After a year of living on my own, I hadn’t solved the problem of the relationship between work and money. It really helps to be in the leisure class, because I’ve heard that inheriting money is quite the best way to come by it. Much as it was against my better judgment, I had indulged in what were alleged to be “casual jobs.” I say alleged, because my employers had entirely unrealistic expectations. Our confusion seemed to hinge on the word casual. My employers and I had different interpretations of the word. They seemed to feel it their right to terminate our relationship.

The thing about work is that it takes up your time. Time is so vital in order to think deep thoughts, especially if you are going to become a romantic artist. One of these profound insights was the tragic realization that in order to keep eating, and paying my rent, I was going to have to earn money by finding a yet another job. This depressing thought came to me as I was attempting to thaw my almost frozen feet in bowl of warm water. My one pair of thin-soled canvas tennis shoes was starting to come apart. They were less than adequate for the cold and wet London winter of 1969.

It was a friend who had told me about Madame Tussauds. The job was part-time and it started at 5 a.m. If work I had to do, then, at least, let it be part-time. Ken, that’s the name of my friend. Ken had landed himself a job as wardrobe assistant at the famous waxwork museum. He said he could get me a job there too, but he doubted my chances with my present footwear. The sad fact was I had to get another pair of shoes. I was just going to have to cut back on buying food for a while. After all, romantic artists were known for starving in their garrets now and then.

The word was out that Anello and Davide were selling used custom ballet shoes, and selling them cheaply. In the crowded back room you could find the boots of a Valkyrie, or the shoes of the Sugar Plum Fairy. I procured some boots that might have been made for a production at the Covent Garden Opera or the Royal Ballet. While not exactly waterproof, they were a big improvement over the then current footwear.

My feet weren’t even on display when I applied for the position. The formalities were brief. The job application was pushed under a counter window. Through a blue fog of cigarette smoke a voice croaked at me to fill it out and wait. A few minutes later the voice announced that I should be at the side door at 5 a.m. sharp on Monday morning.

Our job as wardrobe assistants was to maintain the clothes of the waxwork mannequins. We were to be finished by the time the museum opened at ten. In other words, we were early-morning cleaners. But, at least in spirit, Ken and I saw ourselves as aristocratic early-morning cleaners.

We were a crew of five. Molly and Vera, though no relation to each other, seemed like twins. They were both diminutive in size and of indeterminate age. Their cockney accents were identical; they wore the same style of headscarf, often concealing curlers, and their wraparound aprons were standard issue. Molly and Vera were charwomen.

If you’ve had the experience of working, you’ll know that to do it properly, you must be careful to get enough rest. I could often get a fifteen-minute nap lying next to the bomb aimer in the nose of a World War II German Heinkle. The bomber was an ideal place to maintain a low profile. There was the drawback of a sudden awakening. An hour before opening time the lights would dim and the sound effects would be turned on. If I slept too long, I would wake up in the middle of a nighttime air battle.

I would be more often roused by one of the ladies calling out that Raquel Welch’s buttons were all undone again, or not to forget that a visitor had walked off with one of the Beatles wigs.

Molly and Vera would enthusiastically offer their own brand of motherly and technical advice to Ken and me. They gave us rather too much of it. Our stratagem was to avoid them. Should one of them come looking for us we would stand very still. This is a masterful tactic. It works very well as long as you are in an empty waxwork museum. But if one of them saw me first, I would be in for a lecture.

Molly would point to her head; “You gotta use your loaf in this job you know.”

Using your loaf was an indication that brainpower was required. She would then offer advice on the correct way to brush a jacket, or comb a wig. Vera would always approach me later with her opening remarks,

“Don’t take no notice of Molly, she don’t know nothin’.”

Vera would then detail the errors in Molly’s instruction.

Albert, a master idler and our fifth crewmember, was a man of few words. I never did understand what Albert did. This naturally was a testament to his brilliance. I’m not even sure if he was an employee. He was just there, drinking tea, (a sure sign of a master idler) in our tiny break room tucked away at the end of a little used corridor.

If Albert was the silent type, the ladies were not. They would hold firm opinions on matters of importance. There was constant debate on whether P.G. Tips was better than Typhoo tea; were chocolate biscuits worth the money, or whose turn it was to do the washing up. Each woman laid claim to absolute truth. Molly and Vera were locked into an ideological battle.

The ladies did agree on one thing. They were both afraid of rodents. There had been a mouse sighting the week before. Now, there was much conjecture as to the likelihood of a reappearance.

During a tea break, a mouse darted under our table. One moment Albert was sipping his tea in the corner. The next he was standing on the table holding his trousers half way up his shins and bleating like a lamb. Molly and Vera, jumped onto the table screaming, their skirts held high.

This event gave me pause for thought. It was rumored that if you try to spend a night in the Chamber of Horrors, by morning you’d be insane. There was much speculation about the truth of this claim.

The Chamber of Horrors was part of my territory. I’d brush down the clothing of a sad looking Dr. Crippen who’d chopped his wife up and buried her in order to be with his lover. His wife had hen-pecked him. I’d straighten the tie of John Reginald Halliday Christie. To do so, I’d stand in the bathtub in which he’d dissolved his victims in acid. Bathtubs were popular in the Chamber of Horrors. George Joseph Smith was known as the “Brides in the Bath” murderer. He drowned them for the insurance money. I was never clear on whether his wives had hen-pecked him.

The contents of the Horrors have changed over the years, but I can see why those of a “nervous disposition” should be advised against entry. The Chamber of Horrors is beneath London’s Baker Street. I had a shock the first time I was confronted with the hung mutilated body of Guy Fawkes. He was caught about to blow up the Houses of Parliament in 1606. The State took a dim view of this sort of thing and showed itself barbaric in its punishment of Mr. Fawkes.

The guillotine made me uneasy. Dr Guillotin, a physician, invented the “humane,” if not bloody, way of killing people. I had to work on the victim’s clothes. The guillotine is reputed to have put and end to over 40,000 people at the height of the French Revolution. No wonder they called it “The Terror” - the French Revolution that is, not the guillotine.

I had plans for the rats in the Newgate Prison exhibit. Newgate was the site of many popular executions. Built in the twelfth century; it was finally pulled down in 1902. Some said that rat-infested Newgate Prison was the worst place on earth.

If either of the ladies knew I was in the Chamber of Horrors they wouldn’t hesitate to come and deliver a monologue on the faults of the other. It’s a moral weakness to rush. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I found myself hurrying. I wanted to be out of there before one of them would detain me. It was impossible to dissuade them from their auditory assaults, because, at the time, I was afflicted by a strong and debilitating sense of British politeness. Years later I would have to go and live in New York to get over it.

tenet_2012 · 03-29-2006, 07:32 AM

The rest:

I needed a more pleasant and comfortable part of the museum in which to find some repose. I had once found Ken, resplendent in a Cavalier uniform, asleep on one of the beds in the Tableaux Room. I admired his creativity. I don’t want to give the impression that we were lazy. We just needed to put our feet up for a while in order to really think about our job more clearly. The constant babble of the ladies wasn’t conducive to adequate rumination during our tea breaks.

The rats seemed quite realistic even in the light, but in the shadows of the dimly lit underground room, they looked alive.

I placed them, all of them, underneath the scaffold. It was dark there.

The next day, as soon as I saw Vera, I jumped off the gallows and ran towards the exit stairs. “Rats,” I shouted.

She looked startled. “Where?” she shrieked.

“Under the scaffold.” I said, pointing back to a barely visible collection of eyes and fur.

Vera was still shrieking when she overtook me on the stairs. I wasn’t interrupted again.

If you’re thinking of giving work a try, think carefully before rushing into it. I advise you to put your feet up, have a cup of tea, and do some rumination first. You don’t want to waste your time doing unnecessary work. Remember, time is a non-renewable resource. Protect it well.

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I always knew it.

tenet_2012 · 03-31-2006, 05:14 AM

As funny as that sounds, it’s true. A man has been arrested for trying to break into jail. Most normal criminals would be trying to scheme up ways to get out of jail. But, not Ellis Hudson of Union Springs, Alabama. Ellis was arrested and charged with third-degree criminal trespassing after he was caught trying to break into the Bullock County Jail. OK, we was trying to smuggle cigarattes into the jail, so we wasn’t completely crazy. But, it’s still makes for a pretty funny headline, doesn’t it? What a perfect headline for Jay Leno and David Lettermen to have some fun with.

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tenet_2012 · 03-31-2006, 05:56 AM

A new study by The Center For Reason (www.CenterForReason.com) finds that Christians have just as many abortions as their non-Christian counterparts. The study concludes that in the year 2000, Christians were responsible for 570,000 abortions. Catholics were found to be the worst offenders, with abortion rates higher than the national average.

San Francisco, Calif. (PRWEB) March 12, 2006 -- With over one million abortions being performed in the US each year, this issue has dominated the political landscape. In recent years the rhetoric has escalated, with the pro-life movement becoming a flagship for Christian morality and ethics. The prevailing Christian doctrine--that abortion is murder--has polarized the issue, firmly placing the vast majority of Christians on the pro-life side of the debate.

Incendiary comments by some of the more outspoken Christian figureheads have sought to portray abortion as an “evil” perpetrated by the non-Christian left. In response to this, The Center For Reason, a private research group, undertook a study to test the premise: “Christians have fewer abortions than non-Christians”. The results disproved the premise.

The study, available as a downloadable report, reveals that Christians have just as many abortions as non-Christians. Data analyzed for all fifty states show that the rate of abortion is the same in the most-Christian segments of the population as it is in the least-Christian. The most-Catholic segments, on the other hand, showed significantly higher abortion rates.

All data sources used in the study are publicly available, and are referenced in the report. All raw data and calculated values are tabulated in the report, to allow full verification of the results.

The report, titled “The Landscape of Abortion”, may be downloaded from www.CenterForReason.com/reports.htm.

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