Men who care more about their dicks than their Girlfriends. - Page 2

Catch · 09-06-2008, 07:11 PM

Well he makes her feel insecure and she has sited an issue that she has difficulty talking to him about.

gothicusmaximus · 09-06-2008, 07:54 PM

Catch, I know human relationships aren't your forte, but, oftentimes, people who like each other will have discrepant opinions on certain things. To dislike one aspect of a person's character while still liking that person as a whole is possible, as is to recognize that a relationship isn't perfect while still desiring to remain in that relationship.

BLEED REBELION!!! · 09-06-2008, 08:18 PM

Let me clear a few things up.

1. I do like him I love him very much. I want to be with him forever, or at least as long as possible. We plan to mive in together etc. Most things are really good between us except for the whole sex issue...

2. I am not scared of being single. Thats why he is my first real Boy friend ( I had one Girlfriend also) because I have never been one to start relationships that didnt mean anything.

3. Why dont I like sex? Well I have my reasons if you have been here for a long time you probably know the answer.. I dont feel like getting into it right now.

JCC: I never claimed my emotions are more important than his. Seeing that I did "suck him off" it would seem I was behaving as though his were more important. If you think I'm being such a brat then just put me on ignore and you wont have to here from me again. I was just trying to make him happy, and it got fucked up..

I dont think I'm at all anywhere near ready for sex, and I wasnt ready for what I did and he sort of claimed that he cared but not enough to accept it when I told him no.
And still he wanted me to have sex he kept trying to convince me that it would be "good" for our relationship. I gave him a speech/rant about it..

I'm gonna go talk to him right now.. peace out .

PortraitOfSanity · 09-06-2008, 08:27 PM

No offense, but your views of a healthy relationship seem just as distorted as his, maybe even more so.

gothicusmaximus · 09-06-2008, 08:38 PM

He seems totally reasonable to me. I think you'll have to overcome your aversion to sex at some point, I suspect that finding a guy with a similar outlook will be a difficult feat.

HumanePain · 09-06-2008, 08:53 PM

What I read in the responses to Bleed is a lot of the same attitude as her BF.
A "pressure" to have sexual activity or there must be something "wrong" with her.

That is bullshit.

There is nothing wrong with her not feeling ready for physical intimacy.
Yes, she ultimately chose to do what she did, but what her thread was about was the conflict she felt between the pressure to have sex from her BF and her feeling of not wanting it. As you can see, the result of doing it before she was ready is now she finds it even more repulsive, not interesting.

Cicero · 09-06-2008, 09:13 PM

I totally agree with HumanePain.

And fuck, it seems barely anyone here understands the effect of being pressured into doing something. Sure, Bleed 'CHOSE' to give oral sex, but if she hadn't felt PRESSURED INTO IT by her boyfriend, she most definitely wouldn't have. So really her boyfriend isn't totally free of blame there. I'd be pissed off too if I felt pressured into sexual activity that I knew I wasn't ready for. It happens to a lot of people, both male and female, and it's one circumstance where consensual sex really isn't much fun.

MollyMac · 09-06-2008, 09:18 PM

The ability to say NO is a beautiful thing. Man up and walk away.

gothicusmaximus · 09-06-2008, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HumanePain

There is nothing wrong with her not feeling ready for physical intimacy.

Yes, there is. The problem is that we men want some hot action, and if we can't get it from a given woman, we'll just take our affection elsewhere.

MollyMac · 09-06-2008, 09:21 PM

and the sheep are nervous

PortraitOfSanity · 09-06-2008, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HumanePain

What I read in the responses to Bleed is a lot of the same attitude as her BF.
A "pressure" to have sexual activity or there must be something "wrong" with her.

That is bullshit.

There is nothing wrong with her not feeling ready for physical intimacy.
Yes, she ultimately chose to do what she did, but what her thread was about was the conflict she felt between the pressure to have sex from her BF and her feeling of not wanting it. As you can see, the result of doing it before she was ready is now she finds it even more repulsive, not interesting.

You're right that she shouldn't be pressured into sexual activity, I completely agree. I do however think that it's unhealthy for her not to be able to express her feelings to her boyfriend, who she says she cares about. Not saying anything about her feelings, and yet saying she's hurt by his pressure, is unreasonable and she's doing him a disservice as well as herself. Personally, I'd feel pretty hurt if my girlfriend let something bother her as much as this clearly bothers the OP, and said nothing to me about it, but let herself dwell on it.

gothicusmaximus · 09-06-2008, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MollyMac

and the sheep are nervous

They're getting all flaky on me too, now? God, these days you can't count on anyone to just put out.

Joker_in_the_Pack · 09-07-2008, 01:15 AM

Bleed, sex is a healthy and necessary part of romantic relationships. Sex with a loved one is very important and for some men (and women) it's how they get closer to someone on a non-verbal level. If you're such a prude that you refuse to have oral sex after six months you're going to have a very tough relationship.

By the way, fuck your pressure. If you don't have the ability to say no to people you deserve the consequences. Don't pass the buck, take responsibility.

Saya · 09-07-2008, 01:37 AM

Bleed is still a young one, isn't she? I can understand why she doesn't want to have sex, and I don't think its unreasonable that a teenager will ask her boyfriend to wait. I know girls who made their boyfriends wait two years. If she's not ready, she's not ready. Then again, a lot of adults too don't want to get intimate, I even know a few people who are waiting for marriage.

That said, whats done is done and whats fun is fun. You can't take back what you did, and no point getting upset about it now. But if you don't want to do it anymore, you're just going to have to sit down with him and have a serious talk about it. Just explain to him where your coming from, whats going through your mind, and yes he'll probably still complain but there's nothing wrong with him wanting to get intimate with you. You're just going to have to work through it together, and wait til you're ready and over your aversion for sex.

LilMizNitemare · 09-07-2008, 02:22 AM

We had a very heated discussion on this subject in my English IV class my senior year. Don't ask me why because I honestly haven't got a clue.
Anyway, we came to the conclusion that you should be upfront about your feelings and misgivings no matter what the consequences or you'll both be miserable.

Valravn · 09-07-2008, 02:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus

Yes, there is. The problem is that we men want some hot action, and if we can't get it from a given woman, we'll just take our affection elsewhere.

Even though men want sex (just as much as women usually) different people have different experiences and that influence their viewpoint about stuff. Is not necessarly true that if there isn't action a man goes elsewhere, if you really decided to create a family with that person and you take responsibility for her/him and your relation you will stay with that eprson and help her/him to go through the problems that there are.

Beneath the Shadows · 09-07-2008, 02:57 AM

I can't believe how immature some of the people here are acting. (Actually, I've been here long enough to know better, but sometimes it still makes me shake my head.) "You're not giving him sex, so there's something wrong with you." What a load of bullshit.

BLEED, if you don't want to have sex, then don't. Plain and simple. It may bother your boyfriend, but your first responsibility is to yourself. If he can't understand that, then tough shit for him. And if he really loves you, then he'll accept it, even if he doesn't understand it.

JCC · 09-07-2008, 03:22 AM

My problem here is not that Bleed Rebelion won't fuck him. My problem is that she acts as if her emotional needs are more important than his, because she feels the need to segregate emotion and sex.

The only reason she does do that is because she herself doesn't like it. So she makes him wait for months on end on the false premise that the need not to do it has some sort of sanctity that makes it more important than his desire to be intimate with her. When she finally does it ON THE BASIS THAT SHE WANTS TO PLEASE HIM and then gets angry with him afterwards, then posts on Gnet saying saying how he put his sexual needs over her emotional needs, THAT is what pisses me off.

She is a take take take figure in this relationship and the guy has been surprisingly patient with her considering that his hormones are all over the fucking shop and she's being unreasonable and arrogant by claiming that her needs are plain better.

$haDe · 09-07-2008, 03:33 AM

Okay... I've read through

If I was you,Bleed, I might have give him that stupid oral job and ask him if sex is the reason he going with you or what ?

But I have think it twice and realized that if that wasn't your BF but he is mine, what will i do ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beneath the Shadows

BLEED, if you don't want to have sex, then don't. Plain and simple. It may bother your boyfriend, but your first responsibility is to yourself. If he can't understand that, then tough shit for him. And if he really loves you, then he'll accept it, even if he doesn't understand it.

That's what'll i do.
and also what he WILL do.

Saya · 09-07-2008, 03:36 AM

Her reaction isn't that uncommon, she said at the end of the post she feels like a slut. She's probably projecting her own guilt onto him. Which just goes to show that she wasn't ready in the first place to do it. I don't agree with getting mad at him, no, but at the same time its apart of her disgust for sex, nothing but her, time and maturity will help her out. I don't mean to look down at her or anything for being young, but her being so young and naive makes it hard for me to tell her off for it.

Man I remember being sixteen and thinking sex was gross XD good thing I never dated in high school, might have done something similar.

JCC · 09-07-2008, 03:40 AM

Age isn't an excuse to be a dick to someone on account of what you did yourself because you didn't have the balls to say no.

Saya · 09-07-2008, 03:46 AM

Maybe not, but myself I have a hard time expecting a fifteen or sixteen year old to act very mature and like an adult. And like I said, she's probably mad at herself anyway, and just trying to pass the buck. Its not the right thing for her to do but it doesn't surprise me in the least.

JCC · 09-07-2008, 03:47 AM

Stereotypes don't have a place in any discussion.

Saya · 09-07-2008, 03:49 AM

Its not a stereotype, teens can be pretty childish sometimes. Did I say all teens are? No. I just too remember being like that, and then growing up.

JCC · 09-07-2008, 03:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saya

but myself I have a hard time expecting a fifteen or sixteen year old to act very mature and like an adult.

You are trying to tell me that it is unreasonable to argue my point against BLEEDREBELION because she is young, when she's OLDER than I am. Your stereotypes about which age acts which way has no place in any discussion, it's like if I said "I myself have a hard time expecting a black person to act very mature and like a white person."