Respect...?

[Angelic Dissonance2]

We've all been there.

Now I'm not sure if I'm doing this exactly right, so bear with me...

The question is: WHAT THE FUCK IS IT!?!?

People from subtly different cultures sometimes have VERY different ideas of what it means--say, between the 'lower class' thinker and the 'lower-middle class' Protestant Fundamentalist.

In any case, I think we can all agree that it begins with a basic human respect, formed from the idea that you want to be treated a certain way, and should treat others in more or less that manner. This covers basic human rights, as well as things like not interrupting when the other party spills their bullshit opinions where you might have hard logic. Any other respect is earned through achievement of some sort.

Now mind you, you may be willing to negotiate exactly how hard that logic really is--if the other party is taking the effort to do it better.

But what if they don't?

Is it really disrespectful to not 'allow' someone to be right? And on top of that, how many different ideas of respect do we have out there, anyway?

Is there EVER an instance in which it justifiably ceases to be a two-way street--"give it to get it"? Because whenever it seems that I, personally, am accused of disrespect, it just so happens to be in a situation where the other party/ies expect to receive it in great amounts without treating me as anything CLOSE to an equal.

Which would be fine.... IF THEY EARNED IT FROM ME, PERSONALLY, and not from some sort of delusions of grandeur.

Let's discuss this complicated bullshit, and while we're at it, how does self-respect fall into the mix...? What does it even mean...?

Have fun.

[Grausamkeit]

I don't like when people think that you have to 'earn' their respect. I grew up around a bunch of arrogant fuckers who always said, "My respect must be earned, it's never freely given!" That's just not how the world works. I've learned in the real world you have to first give respect to get it. I can respect the fact that someone has a difference of opinion, but I do not have to respect that opinion.

The only people I normally have any sort of problem with are ignorant people who make foolish assumptions about me or so-called 'alpha-males' trying to put the 'uppity woman' in her place. Sometimes it does cease to be a two-way street and you have to just roll your eyes and ignore people. If you are fine with not having the respect of someone you are arguing or debating with, then it's all right to show your lack of respect.

If someone is making a foolish argument out of nothing and they're going nowhere fast with it, I normally cut them off at the pass by responding nonsensically to them(stupid questions/arguments get stupid answers).

I will expound later, but I have to do some Math homework.

[Angelic Dissonance2]

Yes, but you never reach a point at which all human respect is obliterated....
the problem is those people you mentioned, who have a deficiency of automatic respect. It should be based on no other fact than they are conversing with another human being...

Is the problem here discrimination, whether by age or appearance, social status, or whatever? Or does it extend further than that, into a personality issue?

I know that cultural symbols and stations contribute to the formation of new ideas regarding who should be respected and how much, but even when that's justifiable, it usually decays into hollow traditions that they gratefully indulge in without knowing why they are doing so, other than that's what Mummy and Daddy told them.

Is there a solution for people like that? We can't just sweep it under the carpet in every circumstance; sometimes, it hits too close to home.

Changing opinions is difficult--but it's damn-near impossible if you can't find the root of the problem....

MEANWHILE, all ideas and perspectives are welcomed here. I want to hear everybody's opinions and experiences, as well as your knowledge on the subject.

[BlacKat]

Like many concepts, I think respect encompasses what are actually a number of different ideas.

One, there is a basic respect due to all human beings. This is the simple recognition that you are a thinking, feeling being and not an object, and that I do not have the right to use you as I would a tool. (Where animals fall in this is a whole different debate.) This entails primarily non-interference - as long as you don't do anything do hurt me or someone else, I won't prevent you from acting freely. This kind of respect is due to anyone no matter their behavior.

The second type is essentially the favor of assuming the other to be a decent person. This is more a neutral position of beginning an acquaintance, not jumping to the worst conclusion possible when someone messes up, etc. This kind of respect shouldn't have to be gained initially but can be lost. This is the kind of respect that is violated when someone is judged base on race, sex, etc. It's why it's wrong to doubt someone's honesty because they're black but not wrong to doubt it because they have lied to your friend.

The third type is respect due to authority or superiority in some sense. This is always earned. Certain social mechanisms serve as shorthand codes for the work done earning this respect - e.g. an academic degree is supposed to be shorthand for someone who deserves respect in that particular area. Some of these social mechanisms work better than others.

And yes, I have found a lot of people confuse disagreement with disrespect, especially when the one disagreeing is younger, the wrong sex, or otherwise not seen as an equal. This is imo a failure of respect category #2 - not giving someone a chance.

Now, this is all complicated by social signals. Ideally social signals serve to show respect where it is due. In practice, however, they get all mixed up with a bunch of other social expectations, which leads to a lot of confusion and problems.

[Murder.Of.Crows]

Holy crap, let's see if I can concentrate long enough to sound at least slightly intelligent.

We are creatures that process in self-centered thoughts. So if one demands respect, it would be their ego to blame. Such as a self attained social status perpetuated by outside influences.

Let me explain a bit more on that. If someone is given respect by a multitude of parties, then one may come to expect it from others. They may have not necessarily attained a high position in a social hierarchy, but believe they have done so.

Now I'm going in fucking circles. Where the hell has my attention span gone? I don't even remember where I was going with this or what sentences to fix, due to lack of relation to your question.

I guess, to fix it, would be to be able to take a superior or equal role in whatever relationship this may be.

I swear you guys, I had a better explanation in my head, but when I start typing it, I get lost. I'm sorry.

[CptSternn]

It's all based on outward perception of the person and their understanding of society as viewed through their eyes in whatever social strata they find themselves.