Oh, woe is me! D:

[unedifying]

When I came to this board a few days ago, I said I wasn't going to ever come to the Whining board... well, here I am.

I'm just in the middle of a lot of mental shit, and I needed to get it off my chest and talk about it a bit with people I knew I could rely on. So of course I went to the Whining board to talk to people I've never met before. XD I'll try to be brief.


My parents both died four years ago, and my uncle Chuck went to the house afterwards and ransacked all of the CDs and movies, etc. He hates me, simply because I wasn't born with a dick, and I've known that since I was young. But the CDs he got were my mother's; including her Marilyn Manson albums. It means a dreadful lot to me to get those, and there's still somewhat of a chance he hasn't sold them on eBay. (The thought he might throw something I find so important already devestates me.) I've been trying to work up the courage to try to talk to him about it, but thinking about that makes me think of how dead my parents' really are; so I'm upset that he hates me, and that my parents are dead, all at once.


My grandmother is in assisted care, and doesn't have more than two years to live. I thought that by the time I lost my parents, grandfathers and an aunt, I would be much more resiliant to deaths in the family. Instead, all I can think about is that I'm losing someone else. I hate to be around her; sometimes she's nasty, sometimes she's fine, and she's always out of it. (Old age, you know.) But just being around her reminds me of how little time she has left, and how much I have to appreciate the last few weeks, months, years I'll have with her.


Then I got my acceptence letter to college yesterday. How bittersweet it is to be accepted into college and have no mother and father to share the expereince with. I love my aunt and uncle dearly (they are my guardians) but it just isn't the same!



For the past few hours (I just got back from visiting my grandmother) it's just all been sitting in my mind, and I've been on the verge of fucking tears for the whole time. Damn, my eyes a bubbling up even now.


It may sound a little whiny, but I just need someone to talk to right now.

[BlackButterfly]

I'm really awkward with stuff like this...

I lost a lot of people at once myself. All three of my living grandparents (I was really close with my grandpa) and my pet turtle died within a 2-year period. I think I lived (more like existed in pain) in the darkness of the basement for two years after that because I was so depressed.

My heart hurts for you, but I am fighting the urge to do something disgusting and meaningless like saying, "There, there..."

My (very talkative) mother once told me that it is sometimes best to have one huge pain at once instead of thousands of little torture sessions over a long period of time. Maybe it's best to get the thing about your uncle and your parents' stuff out of the air before it is definitely too late. Even if he hates you, it's possible that if you can get back the stuff that means so much to you. If not, at least you can stop torturing yourself over possibilities, which would make it easier to get over (eventually...)

I don't know you at all, but I hope that little bit helps, if anything...

[unedifying]

It does, thank you. More than a 'there, there' every would. =smile=

Yeah, I agree that it's best to get these things happen at once, instead of scattered over a long period of time.

=sigh= Yeah, talking him is the best thing to do, it's just taking a lot of willpower to try to do it.

[cradle]

Wow, I wish I could say something but Ireally can't...other than how my dad died, If I were you, I'de just cry.

[Delkaetre]

Consider this, though I'm sure you have already- if you don't talk to him about it, about getting those things of your mother's back, then you may lose them forever. They're more than just CDs to you, they're important memories. You have to do it, and do it quickly. Did your mother say in her will that he could have her stuff? Did she place any order of preference on items left behind? If he is your father's brother rather than hers, you should get precedence over him in choosing mementos. You are her immediate blood, the closest family to her.

As regards loss of family, I can offer no aid. I've lost plenty myself, but it's different for everyone and all I can suggest is that you learn resilience to emotional pain as rapidly as possible, since it helps a lot. I only deal with the living, I'm afraid.

[PoupeeCelestia]

...oh dear...I sense how u feel losing the stuff it´s important to you...I´ll write a short story (promise very short).

A couple of years ago, I just started to acumulate a black clothing, music my mother didn´t like (and so on). And one day, when I came back, EVERYTHING, was gone in my room. Books, notebooks (how I missed my notebooks..), cds, COMPUTER ARCHIEVES. I didn´t even had "cloth" since everything was gone. It´s tremendly horrible the feeling of losing stuff you really loved. They invaded and violated my privacy, which I belive it´s a human right.

So---GO ON, meditate, think (before it´s alredy too late), and get into your uncle Chuck´s shoes for a second, think in what woul he say, and find his WEAK POINTS that you could subcosiously attack. (ok, i know it sounds dramatic...). Takes kinda an efford. But It may be the best way to solve things (belive it does). So, after you really feel mentaly strong, go and TALK TO HIM.
Sometimes, communication it´s a basic we have to ger back to. I forgot to mention: find your weak points as well, and be aware of them.

It´s cool what you think about enjoying every last minute you´ve got. Maybe you should try to make your grandmother laught. That really helps.

And well...you know us the people at gothic.net it´s always here to support you *cheers*.

[unedifying]

Thanks all. You've definately helped. ^^

Maybe you should try to make your grandmother laught. That really helps.

Good idea. I always try to get her gifts and stuff; she LOVES chocolate and little animal plushies, so I always make sure I treat her once in a while.

You're right though; it's all about weak points. Honestly, I think it's money. I'll just offer him lots of money for the CDs. (Much more than he could get on eBay, and he's a greedy motherfucker, so that should hopefully work.)

I'll take a couple of days to get myself ready for the big plunge. Again, you've all been a great help. (:

It may be a bitch to get a hold of him, since my grandmother (his mother) is very secretive of his new nubmer, and hasn't told me for a year and a half.. so I'll just call when he's over to her house to watch wrestling on Thursday.

[HumanePain]

I hope if your eyes are dry now, I don't make 'em wet again by popping this thread up to the top again (maybe it will make you smile?), but I just wanted to say Miss Morgan, that this is what worked for me:

A few years ago, at a family reunion, an aunt of mine (who I forgave and still love), stole a few family heirloom pictures of our mutual relatives. Here I am, younger than her (I know some of you find that hard to believe!), she is going to the grave before me (unless I do something stupid like walk under a meteor), so I should be the one to have the pictures to hand down to my kids, right? Well OK, you don't have to agree with that , but the point is, she stole the pictures.

SO I STOLE THEM BACK AT THE NEXT REUNION! HAR HAR HAR!!!

Maybe you could just sneak over and well, yeah, maybe it is a little underhanded but...(looks around and everyone staring)...ah, forget it.

[unedifying]

lolol


Well, he lives in some mobile home in another state. Totally have no idea where he lives. Good idea, though! XD

But, I'm feeling better now; my lows are short. Between two hours and two days (at most.) Not, of course, that I entirely ignore the situation; I just need those hours to really process everything; it's quite an explosion!

[PersephoneX]

we all have moments like that...sometimes all we really need to do is have a good vent session...Friends are the best cure, cos once you've blown up it'll be ok...

[Cicero]

Terrible things seem to happen to the least deserving people - which is probably why I've never had anything terrible happen to me.

I can't relate, but I can at least say that I wish you the best of luck in getting your things back from your uncle, and with enjoying time with your grandmother. Friends are definitely a good cure - especially friends who don't mind your venting every once in a while, as you certainly deserve to at this point in time.

As lame as it sounds, my thoughts are with you! May your times of woe not last too long. *Hugs*

[bubblegumpunk]

I don't know you...and I'm way behind everyone...but I just wanted to say that when my dad died, my uncle flew in with 2 empty suitcases to fill up. He took everything he could get his hands on. My sister and I stole some things back before he got on the plane home....but I have always regretted not saying something then...and not being able to have a few of the things that meant so much to my dad, and therefore me.

I say call him. Tell him you want your mom's stuff back. And if he resists, maybe just threatening some sort of legal action will be enough to get him to return what's rightfully yours.

And enjoy your grandmother. Mine's getting on in years and is...what's a nice way to put it....crotchety as all hell. I just ignore the mean things she says and focus on the good times we have when she's in a good mood. That way....I'll always have good memories.

~That last paragraph, obviously brought to you today by the word good~

Good luck! *cyber hugs*

[cradle]

Originally Posted by cradle

Wow, I wish I could say something but Ireally can't...other than how my dad died, If I were you, I'de just cry.

.......... did I really write that? :blank:

[HumanePain]

Originally Posted by cradle

.......... did I really write that? :blank:

(heehee) I confess. You left yourself logged in, and the window open, so I just...typed a few posts on your behalf. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!