Goth in less than one hour

violet.crescent · 09-26-2005, 01:06 PM

greetings all wild beings—

she's been seeking & hunting, looking
all over the web for something that used to exist, called

"how to be goth in less than an hour"
—an elegantly sarcastic little piece—and can't find
it anywhere—cannot track the scent—a thousand & one soft
lashes to the girl-boy who places it reverently
at her white feet…

| blood
roses |
: black
angel :
| blame
heart |
: never
violet :

sing out to the crescent

Nemesis · 10-02-2005, 11:18 AM

i was looking for that as well the other day, i couldnt find it either tho,

Disfunction · 10-02-2005, 11:32 AM

https://www.gothic.net/boards/showthread.php?t=119

MrMaelstrom · 10-02-2005, 01:31 PM

hummm..........

Raven113 · 10-02-2005, 01:37 PM

Mael, not to overstep my bounds or anything. Just asking, did you notice where that link goes? I found it too, along with a few other ones like it. They all lead to the same goth resource site (one of my favorites, but not the file she's looking for).

Raven113 · 10-02-2005, 01:43 PM

I've got over fourty broken links thus far that just lead here, and that number goes up every time I go looking. Well, at the very least, that's some awesome "advertising" for these forums

MrMaelstrom · 10-02-2005, 01:48 PM

I'm not so sure that following a link to a website that doesn't host what you're looking for is that good an advertising technique. Gonzo marketing, perhaps?

hummmm. Pity, because I laughed everytime I saw it.

MrMaelstrom · 10-02-2005, 01:49 PM

Here's the Goth Hunting link anyway:

http://internettrash.com/users/salatrel/hunting.htm

Which makes me think I'm gonna change my signature again...

Raven113 · 10-02-2005, 01:51 PM

Gonzo Marketing, that's a good way to put it.
Along the same line, I've put all my skills as a Doctor of Journalism (i.e. Google) to the test. Does this help any http://blog.ericrice.com/blog/_archi.../12/62716.html

MrMaelstrom · 10-02-2005, 02:19 PM

Yup, looks like a goner...just like the Tamagothi...sighs...

at least we still have the paranoid server:

http://www.lancersreactor.com/anything.htm I love it, it was made with spare parts from Marvin

winged_dreams · 10-02-2005, 08:56 PM

This is an amusing site. Not exactly what you wanted but...

http://www.sykospark.net/goth/

Nemesis · 10-03-2005, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrMaelstrom

Here's the Goth Hunting link anyway:

http://internettrash.com/users/salatrel/hunting.htm

Which makes me think I'm gonna change my signature again...

wow, that sites funny!

goth_xx · 10-03-2005, 11:03 AM

it was funny en stupid...the picz were tha best part...lol

MrMaelstrom · 10-03-2005, 11:18 AM

Dear goth xx: in the english language, if you please.

punkirony · 10-20-2005, 09:52 PM

Xnguela shows so much love...holy monkey, where in the Hell is all my lovin'??!!

signed,
the lonely girl in the corner..

Which_ones_Pink? · 10-27-2005, 12:43 PM

That quote's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard...

Oh, and the site's are funny. I'm going to order an instaGoth kit.

The Minister Saint-Fond · 10-27-2005, 07:12 PM

I don't know about the goth site, but here's how to be an internet cam whore in just 5 easy steps.

Empty_Purple_Stars · 10-27-2005, 07:59 PM

I Heart Maddox Like Whoa!!!!

He is like a 50 year old bottle of Scotch, just gets better with age!!!!

The Minister Saint-Fond · 10-27-2005, 08:05 PM

Oh Gods.

YOU + WEBCAM - CLOTHES - DIGNITY = $$$ (Maddox)

vs

E=MC^2 (Some German guy)

Which equation represents a greater level of genius? I think it's obvious?

Empty_Purple_Stars · 10-27-2005, 08:16 PM

This one still gets me all misty eyed...

Gawdamn Fucking FUN-KNEE!!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 31 Oct 2003 11:20:28 -0500
From: <JEREM20576@aol.com>
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: response requested
I USED TO LOVE KICKING THE SHIT OUT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE FAGS LIKE YOU BACK IN COLLEGE. I HAVE A QUESTION THOUGH HAVE YOU EVER FUCKED A "GIRL" THAT WAS UNDER 200 POUNDS. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT PUSSY BOY SOFTWARE GEEK THAT YOU SUCK OFF UNDER YOUR CUBICLE. I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD WRITE THIS EMAIL YOU MIGHT HAVE YOUR POSSE OF KLINGON WARRIORS SHOOT INVISIBLE LASERS AT ME. BY THE WAY DOES YOUR MOM KNOW YOU HAVE THIS SITE. SHE'S NOT GONNA TAKE YOU TO THE STAR TREK CONVENTION NEXT YEAR IN DENVER IF YOU KEEP THIS UP YOUNG MAN. WELL IT WAS NICE EMAILING YOU. KEEP SUCKING DICK MAYBE SOME DAY YOUR DAD WILL ACTUALLY PAY YOU FOR IT.

Seven sixteenths of one inch:
http://maddox.xmission.com/keyboard4.jpg

That's the distance you'd have to move your pinky in order to not sound like an idiot. I know the burden of pressing shift to capitalize is a great one, but c'mon Turing, you can do better than that. I used to type emails in caps like yours, but then I decided that I didn't want a job mixing concrete.

You said you had a question for me, something about a 200 pound girl (implying that I pork fat chicks, a cunning strategy by an equally cunning linguist), but the damndest thing: I searched your entire email for a question mark and didn't find any. Could it be because you didn't really ask me any questions since none of your sentences ended with a question mark, you dolt?

You used to enjoy "kicking the shit out of computer science fags" eh? So are you saying that all programmers are gay, or that you enjoyed "kicking the shit out of" the gay ones? I presume the former since you are after all, an idiot. You do have a point though: writing code all day is much more homoerotic than patting your jock buddies on the ass after a sweaty game of catch, then winding down with a nice, steamy, group shower. Maybe if you weren't such a sexually insecure dumbass, you'd have spent the time you pissed away playing highschool sports--you know, that thing nobody in the real world cares about--learning how to read instead so that you don't end up bagging my groceries after you graduate with your 1.2 GPA (rounded off nicely with that C you got in wood shop).

You know what the best thing about knowing that the nerds you picked on will always be more successful, have hotter girlfriends, a home that doesn't have wheels, and a stock portfolio with numbers larger than you can count is? Doesn't matter, get me a coffee.

Someone get me a tissue and a sample of his Sperm..

The Minister Saint-Fond · 10-27-2005, 08:21 PM

My favorite was his "Extreme Sports Snack" one.

This picture still makes me blow merlot out of my nose every time I see it.

http://img466.imageshack.us/img466/7...ssault33jl.gif

I feel better sleeping at night knowing that somewhere there's a picture of a banana flipping me the bird.

Empty_Purple_Stars · 10-27-2005, 08:26 PM

And I handle my Insomnia much better knowing that somewhere out there,

This Masterpiece of 'WTF IS THAT??!!?' exists:

http://www.spadepot.com/catalog/images/fx9022f.jpg

Oddly Comforting Isn't it??

*Happy Sighs*

/ Twitch

The Minister Saint-Fond · 10-27-2005, 08:35 PM

Must... have... that... thing...

Call Buddha and send him my apologies. I'm experiencing such intense desire that my soul is destined for at least another 150 rounds on the Karmic Wheel.

That's even more haunting than Japanese Breast Pudding!
http://img481.imageshack.us/img481/9568/untitled4ru.jpg

punkirony · 10-28-2005, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xnguela

Punkirony, if you were shot with poisoned arrows, do you know what I'd do? I'd fuck your dead body and poison myself.

I love you! And that's actually a quote from Caryl Churchill's "Cloud Nine", a play that I'm in right now. Except in the play, it's not "Punkirony" it's "Caroline". But it's close.

Wow. My day was just totally made by this. Perhaps maybe even my week. ...Speechless.

MrMaelstrom · 10-28-2005, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by punkirony

Wow. My day was just totally made by this. Perhaps maybe even my week. ...Speechless.

I know: breast pudding!!!! How come no one came up with it before?!