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Old 07-24-2008, 05:21 AM   #2326
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Granted but you suddenly slip on the kitchen tiles and fall, bashing your head on a counter. You are all alone as you slip in and out of consciousness, and slowly bleed to death.

I wish that I could find a job that doesn't suck.
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Old 07-24-2008, 05:34 AM   #2327
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Granted but then a little mause causes the place you work in to collapse and you're left with no job at all.

I wish I knew Japanese.
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Old 07-24-2008, 06:33 AM   #2328
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Granted, but you practice Japanese so diligently that you forget how to speak English.

I wish I was born knowing how to drive.
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Old 07-24-2008, 06:40 AM   #2329
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Granted, you crash your Ferrari into a lamppost at the age of six.

I wish I could be telekinetic.
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Old 07-24-2008, 07:00 AM   #2330
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Granted, but your telekinesis malfunctions because it is propelled by thought; you think of too many places at once. The sheer force of simultaneous travel leaves you paralyzed.

I wish I had all the free time in the world.
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Old 07-24-2008, 07:16 AM   #2331
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Granted, you have nothing to do in it.

I wish I had more hugs.
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Pie Jesu domine..... Donna eis requiem - *thwack*

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Old 07-24-2008, 07:18 AM   #2332
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Granted, but you are unable to escape from them and your lungs are crushed.

I wish I had fewer hugs.
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Old 07-24-2008, 07:25 AM   #2333
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Granted but now nobody will ever touch you again

I wish that my apartment could clean itself
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Old 07-24-2008, 07:26 AM   #2334
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Granted, its entire contents is thrown out - including you.

I wish I could be older.
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Pie Jesu domine..... Donna eis requiem - *thwack*

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Old 07-24-2008, 07:30 AM   #2335
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Granted, now you are the oldest living woman, until next week because by then you will no longer be among the living

I wish that I was more environmentally friendly
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Old 07-24-2008, 07:54 AM   #2336
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Granted, you live in a solar powered compost heap with no possessions.

I wish I had something to do.
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Pie Jesu domine..... Donna eis requiem - *thwack*

'To become truly immortal, a work of art must escape all human limits: logic and common sense will only interfere. But once these barriers are broken, it will enter the realms of childhood visions and dreams.' - Giorgio de Chirico
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Old 07-24-2008, 09:28 AM   #2337
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Granted but you count sand for eternity.

I wish I would have more time in each day.
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Old 07-24-2008, 03:21 PM   #2338
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Granted, you sleep for only two hours a week, eventually dropping into madness.


I wish I was home.
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Old 07-24-2008, 03:56 PM   #2339
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Granted but then a giant dog makes his own home in your bathroom.

I wish I could write the story that I have in my head.
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Old 07-24-2008, 10:35 PM   #2340
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Granted, but you have to be locked in a room to work on it for eternity.

I wish I could fall asleep.
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Old 07-25-2008, 02:29 AM   #2341
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Granted, but you sleep for 100 years, 16 minutes and 3 seconds.

I wish It was colder here. I don'y mind freezing.
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Old 07-25-2008, 02:36 AM   #2342
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Granted. It will become so cold that you are frozen in a glacier, only to be unfrozen 10,000 years from now and placed in cage with the label "inferior primitive human" for people and their children to gawk at until you grow old and die.

I wish I had another beer.
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Old 07-25-2008, 02:41 AM   #2343
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Granted. Reaching for the beer in a slightly buzzed fashion, you tip it and it splashes into your monitor. Due to faulty wiring and a malicious misplacing of explosives from the nice third party repair man, it fizzles and fries, then proceeds to act like a battery wired to itself and explode, forcing shards of glass to cut into your face.

I wish the 1:30 would arrive later and I could sleep later.
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:06 AM   #2344
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Granted, but you wind up spending the whole day sleeping, and wake up at night only to find that everyone you know is in bed.

I wish my friend would stop throwing temper tantrums.
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Old 07-25-2008, 10:00 AM   #2345
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Granted. But ten your friend stops feeling emotion all together and can no longer relate to people, becoming an isolationist and only leaving their house for work and food.

I wish there was no need for burglar alarms.
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Old 07-25-2008, 10:07 AM   #2346
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Granted, there is no need for burglar alarms because every potential tresspasser is shot by a nazi fireing squad in front of small children.

I wish I could talk to my cat.
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Pie Jesu domine..... Donna eis requiem - *thwack*

'To become truly immortal, a work of art must escape all human limits: logic and common sense will only interfere. But once these barriers are broken, it will enter the realms of childhood visions and dreams.' - Giorgio de Chirico
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Old 07-25-2008, 11:35 AM   #2347
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Granted - but all your cat will talk about is how ugly he/she thinks you are..


I wish I could (quickly) grow hair in any color, texture, style, and length..
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Old 07-25-2008, 12:25 PM   #2348
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Granted, but it keeps growing and changing colours randomly until you find a black carrot.

I wish I had a wooden katana.
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Old 07-25-2008, 12:27 PM   #2349
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Granted, but the wooden katana you receive bursts into flames, and explodes paralyzing you permanently.

I wish I owned a harem of hot women.
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Old 07-25-2008, 12:30 PM   #2350
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Granted, but every time you go within 3 feet of one, you loose a limb.

I wish I could go to Oregon!
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