Worst Trait: What's Yours?

Deviant Kitten · 02-26-2006, 02:41 PM

I thought this might be an interesting (and maybe even disturbing... *wink*) thread: what is your worst habit? I don't mean like biting your nails though - what is the one thing you do that you'd love to stop doing but can't seem to let go of? This is sort of inspired by the old habits/childish fears thread, which I think makes for fascinating reading.

I'll post mine later if this thread gets some replies - there's probably more than one for me so I'll need to think about this! *grin*

Wise Child · 02-26-2006, 02:53 PM

I think mine is making stupid jokes at innopportune times, like when someone's just died. It's like a damn tic.

Saya · 02-26-2006, 02:59 PM

Wise Child, I have the same problem. Also, I can be very immature and giggle at inappropriate times. Like last semester in Anthropology, I giggled loudly when we learned about Homo Erectus. Man, did I get some nasty looks.

Deviant Kitten · 02-26-2006, 03:02 PM

Yey, people replied to my thread! *grin*

Ok, I've recently realised that my worst habit is *takes deep breath* being self-obsessed... I tend to drift off into my own little world and not pay enough attention to what's going on around me. I also think I talk about myself/my life/my thoughts waaay too much. *sigh* I'm going to shut up now before I become guilty of doing it again!

Pathogen. · 02-26-2006, 03:05 PM

Two.

1) Cutting folks off in the middle of a conversation. I attribute that to being in a large Black family where each time 2 relatives chop it up with each other, others will jump in & end up talikng over each other. I've seen it go down many times during family gatherings, like bullshit Thanksgiving or Kwanzaa. So I find myself in a position where I have to get my 2 cents in before someone else does. It's never done out of disrespect or spite, but out of impulse. Something I'm trying like hell to work on .

2) Overstating the obvious. Whenever I speak to friends/roommates/peers [or writing shit on a messageboard], I find myself staing something that folks are already aware of. Too much information is unnecessary. Something I really need to stop.

Wise Child · 02-26-2006, 03:08 PM

I also digress like crazy. Whenever I'm telling a story about something that happened I get sidetracked by all these little sub-stories that have absolutely nothing to do with the one I'm telling. Drives my friends crazy. They're like, "focus, Wise, FOCUS!"

Disfunction · 02-26-2006, 03:09 PM

My worst habit is my unrivalled capacity to focus on the inevitability of my own failure, to take the worst possible outcome and lay it out as my fate. One friend put it as me being "focused on failure."

Saya · 02-26-2006, 03:19 PM

Man, I forgot one, my insane shyness. I can't bring myself to speak to people I don't know very well. I even do it over the internet, I know I'm posting a lot lately, but usually I'm very afraid to speak up.

Pathogen. · 02-26-2006, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saya

Man, I forgot one, my insane shyness. I can't bring myself to speak to people I don't know very well. I even do it over the internet, I know I'm posting a lot lately, but usually I'm very afraid to speak up.

Don't feel bad, Saya. I still find myself slipping into shyness, too, especially when I'm around some achingly-beautiful Gothic/Rivetehead women. If I met Wolfmoon, Queen Tracy [Queenofdarkness57] or Eyes Of A Tragedy in person, they'd probably blow me off due to me being afraid to say anything. So you're not alone in that.

Tall One In Black · 02-26-2006, 04:00 PM

By the replies here, I'm judging your "worst habit" question to mean "worst trait."

My worst trait is that I have depression. Not the "look at me, I'm sooo gothic, I'm depressed" crap - the real deal (dysthymia with bouts of major depression, for anyone who cares). It's always been there. For better or for worse, it has shaped my personality from the beginning. Each day is a struggle lest it permeate and foul every aspect of my life.

Godslayer Jillian · 02-26-2006, 04:25 PM

My worst trait is that I have too high standards on myself.
I don't think I'm smart enough; I burn more than half my poems because they're not good enough; I never consider myself good at what I do; I prefer not to talk because I believe if they haven't spoken to me already, then it's because they don't want to talk to me; every time I end a conversation, I feel the person hates me now; and no matter how many times a friend tells me how much she loves me, I can't think of any reason why she should like me

edible_eye · 02-26-2006, 07:23 PM

well, i'll be fucked with a red-hot iron poker... i actually found some humor in robster's post myself.

WolfMoon · 02-26-2006, 09:05 PM

I giggle almost hysterically when I'm very nervous or scared.

Path, I like shy bois.

Phayte · 02-26-2006, 09:21 PM

My bad habit would be explaining myself too much. Like why I do or say something. Or that I didn't mean something a certain way. It always makes me look guilty so people always think I'm lying when I'm not or being mean when I'm not. Because of this I try not to talk too much or to new people, but that makes me look like a snob. I just can't win.

Sanctus Dei · 02-26-2006, 10:47 PM

Eyes, Geisha...how is that a BAD habit?

Sarcasim...period.

Sanctus Dei · 02-26-2006, 11:31 PM

Well, it's about time they came in a different color...

pitseleh · 02-27-2006, 12:31 AM

I can only get in line with the other defeatists here.

Glad to not be alone in this.

I'm constantly doubting myself and undermining my own opinions, because I'm afraid of being seen as arrogant and taking up too much space. Also, when I find myself in a situation where the attention of a group of people is focused on what I am saying, my words tend to catch in my throat, and I end up cutting myself short. So either I don't say all that I could have said, or I digress from my original thought and end making a point I don't really agree with.

When I'm with people, I try to be rational, positive and an attentive listener, but privately I'm a neurotic drama-queen caught in circular thought-patterns of futile self-referentiality. Oh god, the hyphenation... Does that even make sense? See, I'm doing it again...

And I got depression. Never got it diagnosed (well, kind of, but not by a licensed psychiatrist), because I don't want to take pills. My relentlessly self-analytical disposition causes me to shatter every good thought I might happen upon into little shards of doubt and potential disaster. I suspect I am "addicted to failure", to put a slightly different spin on the observation made by Dis' friend.

There is more, but this'll do for now. I guess it all comes down to thinking too much, and not actually doing enough. When I have something to keep me busy, it's not so bad, which is probably true for most people.

I'm glad that I at least I have enough self-irony and black humour to be able to laugh at myself, though. I'm not a mopeygoth anymore...

anti · 02-27-2006, 02:19 AM

It's called having low self-esteem, pitseleh.

As for me? I procrastinate.

pitseleh · 02-27-2006, 02:29 AM

Well, duh.

Of course, me being a pretentious fuck, I like to think there's a little more to it than that.

Deviant Kitten · 02-27-2006, 03:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tall One In Black

By the replies here, I'm judging your "worst habit" question to mean "worst trait."

My worst trait is that I have depression. Not the "look at me, I'm sooo gothic, I'm depressed" crap - the real deal (dysthymia with bouts of major depression, for anyone who cares). It's always been there. For better or for worse, it has shaped my personality from the beginning. Each day is a struggle lest it permeate and foul every aspect of my life.

Yep, "worst trait" is exactly what I meant to say, but it was late last night when I posted and my internal thesaurus was snoozing!

I have depression too. I've had varying degrees of it since I was around 13, so it's pretty much a way of life for me now. I finally sought medical help two years ago, which means I can cope with working and having some sort of social life. When I'm not on medication I slip into paranoia, immense self-doubt and constant, debilitating tiredness. I resisted taking pills for years, but they really seem to help me. I've also been on a CBT course recently (cognitive behavioural therapy, for those who haven't heard of it) which I highly recommend. It teaches you a much more realistic way of seeing the world/yourself/other people. I used to feel like everyone else was more competent than me and the world was too dangerous a place for me - which lead to much hiding under the duvet - but now I'm finally starting to be able to cope with my life!

Queenofdarkness57 · 02-27-2006, 06:07 AM

I say everything that pops up in my mind, I often end up hurting people. I tried to stop especially after receiving some complains, but I can't. Oh well...

Cruel Intentions · 02-27-2006, 06:43 AM

From what I have seen from depression (my mum had it so don't get me wrong) all it is is a lack of self-belief. A desire to bury your head in the sand and hope life goes away.

All you need is self-belief. People will call you an arrogant, selfish, whatever. Hold your head up high and stand up for what you believe in, even if it is wrong by society's standards, if it seems right to you then go for it (assuming logic is applied). People will come round to your way of thinking, eventually. A lot of people never used to like me in primary school, I had no friends at all. It never depressed me because I knew I was stronger than to let it get to me. In secondary school they all turned out to be a bunch of chavs.

I can't help but feel slightly smug about that. The joys of a somewhat, arrogant, but iron will. I'm never depressed because I never let it get to me.

My mind is my own, my unassailable stronghold and the dark abyss that it is has been been forever my refuge, that one place where no-one else can get at because it doesn't exist anywhere else. This does involve a great deal of imagination but it is real to you and you alone. Meditation is really good for this, it allows you to focus your mind entirely on one thing. It also helps me to think clearly and plan ahead, it's kind of like a thinking trance.

In short if you can't be bothered reading all that, all you need is confidence and an iron will to succeed. I mean, come on, you wouldn't want someone else to be more annoying than you would you?

Deviant Kitten · 02-27-2006, 07:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cruel Intentions

From what I have seen from depression (my mum had it so don't get me wrong) all it is is a lack of self-belief. A desire to bury your head in the sand and hope life goes away.

I agree in part , but my depression was initially caused by a lack of belief in life and in humanity.

My Dad died suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack when I was 13 and the shock of this caused me to question and doubt everything I'd ever known and believed in. For a few years the world was a cruel and hostile place for me. I'd lie awake for hours at night, trying to find some meaning in this seemingly random, empty universe. The sound of my heart beating would keep me awake sometimes - I was terrified I'd hear it stop moments before death rushed in for me. I couldn't stop crying for my loss of innocence - how could I ever be happy again in a world where life was so senseless and people could disappear so utterly, as if they'd never existed? I read accounts of near death experiences in an attempt to convince myself that my Dad still existed somewhere, but I also came across scientific reports that these experiences were caused by a dying brain short-circuiting; merely terrified hallucinations. At that point in my life I didn't want to live yet I was afraid to die and become nothing but dust.

I'm very glad to say that I'm now able to move on from that way of thinking, and finally start to live again. I still sometimes see things in a very bleak light, but I don't feel as hopeless as I once did. My main problem now is the lack of self-belief which you mentioned! I find it very hard to stand up and allow myself to be noticed as I fear being disliked, ridiculed or worse - ignored. I wish I didn't care so much about other's opinions, since so many, many people are idiots whose opinions aren't of any real importance.

Maybe in another ten years I'll have got over this problem too... ;-P

Edit: apologies for the melodrama! It's obviously another of my bad traits... ;-)

WolfMoon · 02-27-2006, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cruel Intentions

From what I have seen from depression (my mum had it so don't get me wrong) all it is is a lack of self-belief. A desire to bury your head in the sand and hope life goes away.

Spoken like a true ignoramus!

Must be bliss, eh?

Disfunction · 02-27-2006, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cruel Intentions

From what I have seen from depression (my mum had it so don't get me wrong) all it is is a lack of self-belief. A desire to bury your head in the sand and hope life goes away.

All you need is self-belief. People will call you an arrogant, selfish, whatever. Hold your head up high and stand up for what you believe in, even if it is wrong by society's standards, if it seems right to you then go for it (assuming logic is applied). People will come round to your way of thinking, eventually. A lot of people never used to like me in primary school, I had no friends at all. It never depressed me because I knew I was stronger than to let it get to me. In secondary school they all turned out to be a bunch of chavs.

I can't help but feel slightly smug about that. The joys of a somewhat, arrogant, but iron will. I'm never depressed because I never let it get to me.

My mind is my own, my unassailable stronghold and the dark abyss that it is has been been forever my refuge, that one place where no-one else can get at because it doesn't exist anywhere else. This does involve a great deal of imagination but it is real to you and you alone. Meditation is really good for this, it allows you to focus your mind entirely on one thing. It also helps me to think clearly and plan ahead, it's kind of like a thinking trance.

In short if you can't be bothered reading all that, all you need is confidence and an iron will to succeed. I mean, come on, you wouldn't want someone else to be more annoying than you would you?

So.... your worst trait is voicing your opinion on topics that were not being actively discussed?

Edit: By this, of course, I mean the nature of depression, not the topic of depression itself.