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| General General questions and meet 'n greet and welcome! |
11-29-2006, 05:01 PM
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#51
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 225
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Because your mom's gynecologist was Edward Scissorhands.
Why are old people mean?
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11-29-2006, 06:01 PM
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#52
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: the eternal suburbs
Posts: 654
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Because they know all the stuff that would have made them awesome when they were younger, but now they can't do anything about it...
How do they get all that music in the CD's?
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According to an article in USA Today, children from single parent homes have much better verbal skills than children from two parent homes. However, children from two parent homes are far superior at bitterly sarcastic repertoire.
I'd love to see crowds of kids running away from a greased naked guy with Jesus hair.--c130
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11-29-2006, 06:28 PM
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#53
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 1,696
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The record labels host extraterrestrials in their sweat shops to transfer the music onto the CD. If the ETs misbehave, they get to experience what it's like on the other end of an anal probing.
Where do babies come from?
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"Don't ever let anybody teach you to think, Lance: it is the curse of the world." - King Arthur in T.H. White's The Once And Future King
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" The Bible (Matthew 7:12)
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11-29-2006, 06:52 PM
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#54
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 34
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When a turkey and a ferret see each other a gobble occurs and BAM! There is a baby by a tree somewhere.
What is dust?
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11-29-2006, 10:32 PM
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#55
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 622
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Ghastly particles of ancient bacterial oxygen that reside within the elderly.
Why do you say bad words?
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"There is no way out of the mind"--Sylvia Plath
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11-29-2006, 10:55 PM
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#56
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Los Angeles!
Posts: 499
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Because nothing can adequetly convey our intense emotions of hatred, pain, sadness, and disgust. NOTHING. Cussing comes nowhere close, but it's better than nothing. With my anger, it is better I cuss and hurt myself than others so I can be sued.
Why do you stay up late until your eyes hurt?
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Swish swish swish...Vavoom!
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11-30-2006, 01:52 AM
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#57
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: a'Straiya
Posts: 1,292
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Because you know subcontiously that if you go to bed too early one night, you'll wake up with no 'toes', as all the aardvarks will have up and left because you're too boring.
Why do farts smell bad?
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Hist. Hark.
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11-30-2006, 06:51 AM
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#58
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: A box of cookies
Posts: 141
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Because in prehistoric times, farts were a caveman's last recourse against being eaten.
Why does turning an 8 sideways change what it means?
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11-30-2006, 01:29 PM
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#59
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 34
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Turning an 8 on it's side as a symbol to the aliens. Of what we have not determined.
Where did a hug come from?
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11-30-2006, 01:38 PM
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#60
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 1,696
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A hug originated from a guy who was sanely challenged and thought that if he held another person in his arms, then he was able to pass on into their body.
Why does Hydrogen have only one electron?
__________________
"Don't ever let anybody teach you to think, Lance: it is the curse of the world." - King Arthur in T.H. White's The Once And Future King
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" The Bible (Matthew 7:12)
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11-30-2006, 01:43 PM
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#61
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: A box of cookies
Posts: 141
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Because if it had two, the Pope would say it was very naughty.
Why were fishnet stockings invented?
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11-30-2006, 02:11 PM
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#62
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 34
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To keep the crabs between our legs and not spread them aroumd.
Why do dogs eat crap sometimes?
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11-30-2006, 02:17 PM
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#63
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NoVA
Posts: 5,290
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because it tastes like chocolate
why do zebras have stripes but gazelles dont?
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11-30-2006, 02:36 PM
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#64
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 1,696
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So that the zebras will appear on all of our sheets and lingerie.
Why do Asians sound like they're dying in porn?
__________________
"Don't ever let anybody teach you to think, Lance: it is the curse of the world." - King Arthur in T.H. White's The Once And Future King
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" The Bible (Matthew 7:12)
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11-30-2006, 02:44 PM
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#65
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NoVA
Posts: 5,290
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because they are really dying. except they come back to life. like Jesus.
why do babybats think they are so awesome?
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11-30-2006, 02:46 PM
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#66
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: A box of cookies
Posts: 141
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Because it's better to be a babybat than a babycow.
Why do noses have two nostrils?
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11-30-2006, 02:47 PM
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#67
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NoVA
Posts: 5,290
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the same reason butts have two cheeks
if people "have a cow" do cows have people?
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11-30-2006, 03:06 PM
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#68
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: A box of cookies
Posts: 141
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No, cows have platypuses.
Flies are called flies because they fly. Why aren't fish called swims?
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11-30-2006, 03:40 PM
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#69
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New York
Posts: 183
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Because in the beginning, they all had the name Tish, but one Tish ruled in the Tishes Court of Appeals to have their name written more religiously, with the T written as a cross. Over decades and decades, the T has evolved into an f, which is for Fish! We humans can swim too, but we aren't Fishes or Tishes!
Why is the first letter of the alphabet A and the last letter Z?
--Neurosis
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11-30-2006, 03:43 PM
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#70
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: A box of cookies
Posts: 141
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Becasue if it went the other way, it would be the omegapsi.
Why does water melt witches?
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11-30-2006, 03:47 PM
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#71
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New York
Posts: 183
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Because water is PUR, just look at your sink!
Why does mommy wear makeup?
--Neurosis
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11-30-2006, 03:51 PM
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#72
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: A box of cookies
Posts: 141
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Because she's actually a calculator in disguise. If she doesn't freshen up her facial features, button that say "+" and "=" will start showing up.
Why do oceans have salt water?
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11-30-2006, 05:28 PM
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#73
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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Whales expel gallons of sperm in reproduction. Water wouldn't be this salty is whales weren't compulsive masturbators.
Why can't I grow up a couple of inches?
__________________
"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.
I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin
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Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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11-30-2006, 07:47 PM
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#74
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,421
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Same reason you have glasses... Mastubation stunts growth.
Why does love incur pain?
__________________
You ain't no punk, you punk; you wanna talk about the real junk?
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11-30-2006, 08:27 PM
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#75
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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It's only a curse I put on you for spite, you bastard. ¬¬
Why can't violins be easy to tune?
__________________
"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.
I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin
Quote:
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Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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