Society and respect...

[Idoru]

When I was younger I got bullied and spit on and treated like dirt because I was different. I expect most of you were treated in a similar way?

I always thought that when I was a 'grown up' I would be treated with the same kind of respect i afforded adults when i was young.

I was wrong.

Today some 'chav's' harrassed me on the bus. This is not an isolated offence.
When i was 15 I would never have drempt of being that rude to someone for no reason, they have no concept of normalcy for other members of society.

I didn't think when I was 24 I would be suffering verbal abuse at the hands of 15 year olds. I regularly get cussed out or abused by local teens. It shocks me that the world is going to hell. I can't even complain when people cut in front of me in a queue as they may stab me. The world is slowly falling apart.

Please comment as sometimes I feel I am growing old before my time and becoming a 'grumpy old woman', but it really shocks and frightens me that the world is coming to this.

[tenet_2012]

Stand-up for yourgoddamnedself!

You will always be pushed around if you don't!

You call people "chav's" (I had to google this to find out what it meant). Judge not lest you be judged.

Karma can work miracles.

[Niels]

It's very true, I have experienced it a lot to. Even 6 year old boys are rude. I mean, seriously, when I was six years old I was afraid for anuone who was older then 12, but, nowadays, they cuss at you for no reason. I'm usually dressed 'normal' but even then teens make fun of me.

Well, I used to give a shit about that, but now it only makes me feel elite... they aren't even worth my thoughts...

Teens these days have no respect for older people, or anyone at all...

I'd say blame the media...

[horrorgirl]

I haven't had anybody screw with me in a very long time. However I stand up for myself when confronted and speak my mind. I have always lived in very liberal areas of the country, for the most part, so I have never really had problems. I think the worst time that I have ever had was when I lived in Fremont in the Bay Area. It is a VERY conservative suburb and I was threatened a lot. I lived there through high school(late 80's) and in 2001. Even in 2001 I had people try to start crap with me. I hope that burb is swallowed up when the next earthquake happens there.

[Idoru]

I was very polite to the young upstart.
He went away pretty quickly when he realised he would not get a rise out of me, but he did not recognise me. He had tried the very same gambit before.

Chav's are a very specific group of people in England. I did not judge him, I know him from previous occaisions and he wears the chav emblem, a Burberry scarf lol.

It just upsets me that society has come to this. I would not be intentionally rude to a stranger on a bus.

[Mistress-Liriel]

I always find the "I'm old enough to be your attractive, younger Aunt, and as such, I WILL knock you on your ass and tell your mother if you don't show some damn respect," works wonders.

You do need to be more assertive. I'm not saying to threaten someone with bodily harm (even if it would make you feel better), but you need a good comeback. If it is a situation that can be avoided, then fine. Of course it comes down to how you look. You are making assumptions about them, and they are making them about you.

People are less well-mannered these days though. When I was literally due with my son anyday, I was in a grocery store trying to get in line to pay for an armload of stuff. I was right at the queue when a guy in his 30s just pushed his way in front of me with his few items. And there was no mistaking HOW PREGNANT I was. I looked like I swallowed two watermelons. And because I was stupidly hormonal, I stood there sulking and in pain from holding all that extra weight against my large belly. I should have told the guy where to go. *sigh*

Manners aren't great anymore, so you just need to be the better person, and learn to give them guff right back.

[tenet_2012]

I am going to have to disagree one one point, DA.

Some of the worst kids I have known had some of the best parents. Biology determines pathology.

[Idoru]

That is a fair point.

I did not mean to stereotype anyone. I am sure at 15 I would have been offended by that, so I understand what you are saying.

What I meant was that a lot of young people in this country seem to have no manners and be disrespectful to the geneal public.

This in no way refers to all teenagers as I know many younger people who have fantastic manners, but the news will confirm the fact that there are a lot of 'yobs' as we call them in England. Most people are scared of them as they hang around on street corners like gangs.

It is a product of society in the sense that they have nowhere else to go, there are no amenities for younger people in our community, but they intimidate most other people in the local area and people here have been killed or seriously wounded for standing up to them.

As I said before, I am just sad that the world seems to be heading this way....I didn't mean to offend any well meaning young adults, or even old adults for that matter

[Blushing Heliophobe]

One of my biggest pet peeves is the fact that something as simple as common courtesy has a lower and lower value placed upon it.

I know that kids act up. I come from a big family, and understand that sometimes kids just act up in public. But please, at least put some effort into disciplining them. And if you're going to bring your adorable little amoeba to my house, don't make me have to be the one to tell him to stop breaking my stuff and jumping on my couch with his muddy shoes on. Come on.

I agree with Tenet that sometimes, even good parents have a rotten egg. But come on, at least try and teach your children to have some manners. If you don't teach them, who will? Society? Yeah...that's been working out so well the last couple of generations.

I also can't stand when I'm waiting for service and (sorry for stereotyping) it's a high schooler behind the counter. When his/her little friends walk by, I stand there waiting for service while they chat, flirt, and have a grand old time. I want my mocha now. You can flirt later when you're not being paid to make me my damn mocha.

Tonight I was really tired and didn't want to cook so we drove over to Burger King. We waited for half an hour at the drive through with no response. I was almost in tears by that time - I was hypoglycemic before I was pregnant. Pulled up to the window - yup. The clerk was having a grand chat with the other employees and nowhere near the window.

Ineptitude, paired with complete indifference to one of the traits that is supposed to seperate us from the wildlife - common courtesy.

Ugh.

[Mistress-Liriel]

DA, I actually agree with you. Most of my fairly recent bouts of rudeness come from adults. And I know other parents that are good, kind, attentive parents, that don't know how to discipline their children. People have become very lax with teaching manners to their kids. Having to deal with playgroups and kids activities often, I see why kids are becoming like this. Their parents don't think it's important to teach a child to say "thank you" at a young age, or whatever. My kid has been prompted for these basic manners since he was about 6 months old. Too bad not every parent takes that extra step to ensure there kid doesn't grow up to be that wanker that's rude to someone serving them in a restaurant.

~L

[Blushing Heliophobe]

Hey - I'm not saying adults aren't assholes too. But I personally am speaking for myself and not all of them. Trust me - I used to work in the Guest Service (returns) at Target after Christmas and customers can be damn rude too.

It's just that out here, they hire military people's kids to work at all the stores on base. And no one gets fired for not doing their job, so complacancy is the name of the game. And damn it, I'm tired of standing there for ten minutes while they chat over the counter and having to wipe my drink because they slam it down without looking and splash it all over me. That's just plain rude.

[tenet_2012]

Originally Posted by darkangel29

Ok, whatever. Disagree... but I'm going to guess it's because those kids were spoiled. Think about it. How were they disciplined?

You know... I'm not getting into this debate any farther... because I can see where it's going and I'm not taking part in it.

I still love you.

No argument would prevent that! :P

[Virulent Dryad]

Originally Posted by darkangel29

I'm sorry you guys feel that way about teens. I really do.

Ya, teenagers today fucking suck but SO DO ADULTS!

I've been so jaded working where I do... I have no more true respect for adults, seeing that I act better than they do most of the damn time. And that pisses me off. WE (Teens) Are supposed to look up to YOU?

Darling, the fact of the matter is if you are a rude, insolent, bratty teenager, and let's face it, a lot of teenagers come under that, then chances are you will grow up to be a rude, insolent, bratty adult. What you are now is a reflection of what you will be.

I'm pretty sure most of these problems are a result of a lack of discipline.

[Virulent Dryad]

Originally Posted by darkangel29

it's because parents are SCARED to DISCIPLINE, thinking it'll be CHILD ABUSE. NO. Spank your fucking kid.
Teach them a damn lesson on that ass you're raising with your money.
Spanking is fucking FINE. Goddamn.

Amen!

Originally Posted by darkangel29

I love my mother to bits, because she raised me right. She showed me the hard times in life, the great times in life, the value of money and family. I will never ever let that go. And yes, she spanked me. Slapped me a few times when my mouth got out of hand. But never EVER have I raised a hand to my mother. She gave birth to me and taught me how to be a good person. And for that I owe her everything.

I think the message is clear. Get manners, use them and teach them. If you use manners, you will be treated quite fairly.

I have yet to meet a child who was disciplined in love turn around and resent that discipline. Discipline is a part of life, it's better to learn it through detention or your parents smacking you then to have to learn it in prison.

[Nike]

I think the basic problem is, that many parents don't have enough time for their children, because both have to work too much for their living to really know what is going on with their children. Trying to compensate the lack of time they often spoil their children with material goods. No good.

I have never been spanked, smacked or violated in any way by my parents. And still they have tought me respect and manners. My brother and me didn't have a tv (my mum hates them and banned them from the house), fancy new fashion and all that, but we had parents that were there for us. If they would have spanked me or slapped me my relationship to them would maybe not be the same.

[Virulent Dryad]

Originally Posted by Nike

I think the basic problem is, that many parents don't have enough time for their children, because both have to work too much for their living to really know what is going on with their children. Trying to compensate the lack of time they often spoil their children with material goods. No good.

There's more problems than that. There's only so much a parent can do. If a parent is not doing his job then the child is raised by society and other various influences.

Originally Posted by Nike

I have never been spanked, smacked or violated in any way by my parents. And still they have tought me respect and manners. My brother and me didn't have a tv (my mum hates them and banned them from the house), fancy new fashion and all that, but we had parents that were there for us. If they would have spanked me or slapped me my relationship to them would maybe not be the same.

They could not have taught(not tought) you respect and manners without some form of discipline, remember smacked/spanked whatever, is not the only way to discipline a child. But maybe you're a bit spoilt and you don't realise it....

[Nike]

Originally Posted by Virulent Dryad

They could not have taught(not tought) you respect and manners without some form of discipline, remember smacked/spanked whatever, is not the only way to discipline a child.

that was my point, actually.

never mind.

and thanks for the correction.

[Blushing Heliophobe]

Originally Posted by darkangel29

Sorry Helio... I didn't mean to offend.

You didn't offend, sweetie. Like I said, I worked hard and was polite when I was a teenager and I dealt with rude adults as well. I can see why you'd feel stereotyped unfairly.

[Angel of Disobedience]

Whenever someone calls me a "Freak!" or gives me any kind of negative attention because of me being different, I take it as a compliment to how unique I am. They're just calling me an individual who stands out as being unique compared to being just like everyone else, what's not to enjoy about that? It's a boost to my self-esteem. I must be pretty special to be afforded the wrath of complete strangers.

Does having the respect of society really matter though? In their eyes "freaks" aren't to be given respect, more then that though, to them it seems they're justified in being disrespectful, many are just disrespectful by nature, but only according to how we judge them, and people judge dressing like a freak as a form of disrespect to them; something offensive, just as offensive as their behaviour to us, perhaps.

Let them say and do what they will, and give us strength in doing so; there's always some strengths and lessons to be learnt from those who confound us with their differences of how they express themselves.

[polished_wolf_claws]

It all comes down to what my mother used to tell me: Ignore it. Unless they are physically assualting you, It doesn't matter what they say. They are only what... maybe a dozen people in this world of 6 billion?

[Queenofdarkness57]

If you're constantly bullied or abused especially by younger people, it's because you seem weak to them. At least pretend to have some self confidence, that'll keep them away. And in case someone approached you, tell them to fuck off. Don't wuss(sp?) out in front of them.

I can agree with the manners thing, but do not, EVER, stereotype ALL teens into angsty, rude, stupid children. That pisses me off. It's not all the kid's fault. It's also the parenting, the environment and the general attitude.

I second that.

[Virulent Dryad]

Originally Posted by darkangel29

*sigh*

My kids are going to be spanked.
They WILL learn their pleases and thank yous.
They will CHOOSE TO respect their elders.
They will CHOOSE to love.
They will learn what a STEREOTYPE is.
They will WORK for what they want.
They will be PROVIDED what they need.
They will SERVE the damned customers.
They will NOT be spoiled brats.
They will ALWAYS be loved, no matter what.

Sounds like a plan...

[Virulent Dryad]

So long as it isn't abuse, you're right, you can discipline your child in whichever way you feel best. Though it's complicated if say, your husband/partner feels differently, then you may have to compromise.

[Queenofdarkness57]

Oh you're welcome, sweetie. You were totally right. If teens act a certain way, it's because they learned it from adults. I mean look around you. They always say like mother like daughter/like father like son. Do you think you only teach us the good stuff, Hell NO! What's you're excuse? Blame it on the "media". I wonder who runs magazines, Tv channels, and radio stations. Well, before blaming it on anyone, look at yourself, work on yourself and then teach us manners. I'm not denying the fact that teens are more likely angsty and moody, but we're not the only ones and we're certainly not all the same.

[horrorgirl]

I think that there are a whole lot of kids out there these days that are not getting proper parenting. Sit the kid in front of a computer or a tv set instead of paying attention to their needs. It's sad.