Rant Thread II

[Solumina]

Why is it that just when everything seems to be coming together it all just unravels?

Damn I wish I could talk with my dad, he always did know just what to say.

[Mariner]

I thought I had an exam tonight...got to class and figured out it was a lab night and the exam is next class, so I wasn't prepared for the lab. Not a good night.

[FlowerGirl]

The guy I fancy is ignoring my messages on facebook.
He used to write sweet, long paragraphs that made my heart pound so fast...now he doesn't even replies me on Msn anymore. Only a short "no" or single-word answer.
Does it mean he's not interested?
Am I being too desperate?
Do guys hate paranoid girls?

I feel like I can't concentrate on everyday things anymore...it sounds pathetic but he's always on my mind.
I need advice!
)=

[Amunet]

Originally Posted by FlowerGirl

The guy I fancy is ignoring my messages on facebook.
He used to write sweet, long paragraphs that made my heart pound so fast...now he doesn't even replies me on Msn anymore. Only a short "no" or single-word answer.
Does it mean he's not interested?
Am I being too desperate?
Do guys hate paranoid girls?

I feel like I can't concentrate on everyday things anymore...it sounds pathetic but he's always on my mind.
I need advice!
)=

from experience it could mean that he senses you fancy him, and maybe he's not ready for that, he could not want to hurt you which is why he's being vague. If you really want to find out, I find the best way is to confront a situation head on. Not desperate like, just a conversation. Tell him, "you know, I really think we connect on a level, and I think that if you feel the same maybe we should get together. I would love to learn more about you, and I'm willing to take that chance at it not working out, but only if that's something you're comfortable with..."
in your own words of course. Its worked for me in the past, and actually even if it didn't work out I got a friend out of it.

Good luck hun!

[JCC]

Originally Posted by Amunet

from experience it could mean that he senses you fancy him, and maybe he's not ready for that, he could not want to hurt you which is why he's being vague. If you really want to find out, I find the best way is to confront a situation head on. Not desperate like, just a conversation. Tell him, "you know, I really think we connect on a level, and I think that if you feel the same maybe we should get together. I would love to learn more about you, and I'm willing to take that chance at it not working out, but only if that's something you're comfortable with..."
in your own words of course. Its worked for me in the past, and actually even if it didn't work out I got a friend out of it.

Good luck hun!

Jesus, don't do that. Giving a guy "the talk" is bad enough without being like "I really think we connect on a level".

[Anarasha]

I know what ya mean JCC, if a girl said something like that to me, it would confuse me badly.
If anything, say what's on your mind without all the fancy tripping around the subject like that.

[Stormtrooper of Death]

Might be overblowing a small situation here, but I really miss my friends. Damn by schooling and working at a lame job that doesn't pay what it should.

*sighs*

[FlowerGirl]

Originally Posted by Anarasha

I know what ya mean JCC, if a girl said something like that to me, it would confuse me badly.
If anything, say what's on your mind without all the fancy tripping around the subject like that.

I'm scared to be straight-forward. What if he rejects me? I don't want to pressure him into anything, but I'd still want to be friends with him. I'm really scared he won't talk to me anymore because I'm too 'clingy'.
Should I befriend him, then slowly get to know him? I've heard many times that you need to befriend a guy/girl first before oficially going out with them. Or else it will turn out badly D:

[FlowerGirl]

Originally Posted by Amunet

Tell him, "you know, I really think we connect on a level, and I think that if you feel the same maybe we should get together. I would love to learn more about you, and I'm willing to take that chance at it not working out, but only if that's something you're comfortable with..."
in your own words of course. Its worked for me in the past, and actually even if it didn't work out I got a friend out of it.

Thanks for the advice.
I quite like the idea, except I'm scared he might think I'm being too 'pushy'.

Another thing is...I'm too shy! You're a confident person, so it's only natural that everything you say sounds uber sexy. And men obviously dig confidence. Zero experience with relationships makes me lack confidence...and I'm scared he might think I'm immature and annoying.

I've only known him for a couple weeks, but I really miss talking to him. When I asked him if he was angry at me , he said I was 'paranoid' and I didn't owe him an apology. He's graduating this year and I'm scared that I'm letting someone special walk out of my life. It sounds selfish...but I keep thinking about him and it's all I feel these days.

[Amunet]

Originally Posted by FlowerGirl

Thanks for the advice.
I quite like the idea, except I'm scared he might think I'm being too 'pushy'.

Another thing is...I'm too shy! You're a confident person, so it's only natural that everything you say sounds uber sexy. And men obviously dig confidence. Zero experience with relationships makes me lack confidence...and I'm scared he might think I'm immature and annoying.

I've only known him for a couple weeks, but I really miss talking to him. When I asked him if he was angry at me , he said I was 'paranoid' and I didn't owe him an apology. He's graduating this year and I'm scared that I'm letting someone special walk out of my life. It sounds selfish...but I keep thinking about him and it's all I feel these days.

I know you're shy, and what I'm saying may or may not work. Every situation is circumstantial, but in order to build confidence that you need, you have to take steps to get it. Meaning, overcoming your fears and do what you feel is right in your heart. Don't be afraid of what he's going to think of you because all that matters is what you think of yourself. He will see that shine through you and either be interested or not. If he isn't, then he's not ready for that kind of relationship or direction with you. I am a firm believer in things happening for a reason and that every experience has a lesson behind it. (My belief, doesn't have to be yours of course)
I think that because you don't have experience and you are afraid of rejection you are limiting yourself. Don't do that. You hinder your own personal growth when you put limitations on your self worth.

Trust me on that one.

Go with your heart, be direct but not pushy, and show your interest as genuine, not desperate.

[Ben Lahnger]

Originally Posted by FlowerGirl

Thanks for the advice.
I quite like the idea, except I'm scared he might think I'm being too 'pushy'.

I suspect the one word responses to you FB posts now are because he thinks you have gotten more excited or interested than he was really expecting ... what might be described by the person on the unwilling end of that attention as being "too pushy." On the other hand, you really can't know what is going through his mind unless you ask ... or he volunteers the information. But if he feels like your attention is "too pushy" already for the type of relationship he is interested in at this time, then asking him about it will almost certainly send him running.

Listen, you're thirteen so the only thing certain at this point is that you're in for a lot of changes. Learning how to build a relationship doesn't come naturally to anyone. It takes time and experience. And usually we learn more from failure than from success.

Nobody can really give you advice on how you should proceed here. But I can give you one piece of advice about that shyness. If you hesitate to do something because you are afraid of rejection, you could spend a lot of your life not really living.

[Amunet]

Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger

Nobody can really give you advice on how you should proceed here. But I can give you one piece of advice about that shyness. If you hesitate to do something because you are afraid of rejection, you could spend a lot of your life not really living.

I second this! Thanks Ben!

[FlowerGirl]

Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger

I suspect the one word responses to you FB posts now are because he thinks you have gotten more excited or interested than he was really expecting ... what might be described by the person on the unwilling end of that attention as being "too pushy." On the other hand, you really can't know what is going through his mind unless you ask ... or he volunteers the information. But if he feels like your attention is "too pushy" already for the type of relationship he is interested in at this time, then asking him about it will almost certainly send him running.

Nobody can really give you advice on how you should proceed here. But I can give you one piece of advice about that shyness. If you hesitate to do something because you are afraid of rejection, you could spend a lot of your life not really living.

I think you're right. Maybe he was not playing hard to get, but expected more of a chase than having me giving in easily...I don't understand how guys think. I thought a 17-18 year old boy would be more interested in a fling (which was what I initially expected), but this boy just seems really hard to overtake! Not because I'm interested in his looks or popularity, but I've never felt so 'connected' to another boy before (using Amunet's word here).

I agree that you risk not living life if you avoid taking risks. I think if I experience the sheer pain of rejection, I'll become a mentally stronger person - I'll be ready with this boy by then.

Should I date other boys first (for relationship experience) then go for him afterwards? Maybe that's a safer way to approach the situation...

[Saya]

Wait, is he 18?

[FlowerGirl]

Originally Posted by Saya

Wait, is he 18?

He's 17 going on 18...graduating this year.

[Saya]

No offense but I would say he's giving you the cold shoulder because he doesn't know how to say that he's not interested in you like that, you know?

[Ben Lahnger]

17 or 18 dating a 13 year old is problematic on several fronts; emotional maturity, intellectual maturity and legally (in NZ the age of consent is 16.) Once I saw the age range of the boy in question, I thought it wise to stop advising her.

[Ben Lahnger]

Originally Posted by Saya

No offense but I would say he's giving you the cold shoulder because he doesn't know how to say that he's not interested in you like that, you know?

That's probably true.

[Saya]

Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger

17 or 18 dating a 13 year old is problematic on several fronts; emotional maturity, intellectual maturity and legally (in NZ the age of consent is 16.) Once I saw the age range of the boy in question, I thought it wise to stop advising her.

Exactly, didn't know how to say it without sounding like I'm lecturing, but yeah. Which is why I think he's taking the silent treatment, rather than hurt her feelings.

[Mir]

O hai hai - you, baby sister. Forget this nonsense and concentrate on your school work.

[Amunet]

oo I didn't realize he was 18 (soon to be 18...)

I'm sorry hun, I'd have to agree with Saya and Ben...

Not that you're not intelligent for a 13 year old because you are, but legally, it's obviously an issue, and well, that's probably what he's thinking too. You have to keep his best interest in mind. My suggestion to you is to start dating people around your age, and have fun. At your age you should be considering fun and experiences versus serious relationships. Not that you don't deserve one but you have some living to do before you get there.

None of our advice is going to be "just what you need" you know. We're going off of our life experiences and you need to figure out what is best for you. Regardless of what any of us tells you here, you're going to make your own mistakes in life, and hopefully learn from them. You will also make great decisions and learn from those as well.

I wish you the best. As always

[FlowerGirl]

Originally Posted by Saya

No offense but I would say he's giving you the cold shoulder because he doesn't know how to say that he's not interested in you like that, you know?

No offense taken...now I know me and him are never going to happen.
The sad thing is my classmate might be going out with him. She's 13.
Fuck my life.

[FlowerGirl]

Originally Posted by Amunet

My suggestion to you is to start dating people around your age, and have fun. At your age you should be considering fun and experiences versus serious relationships. Not that you don't deserve one but you have some living to do before you get there.

None of our advice is going to be "just what you need" you know. We're going off of our life experiences and you need to figure out what is best for you. Regardless of what any of us tells you here, you're going to make your own mistakes in life, and hopefully learn from them. You will also make great decisions and learn from those as well.

I wish you the best. As always

Thanks, that was really helpful Amunet.
I think I'll just learn to move on for now.
There are other big fishes out there, and regardless how I hate it when people comment on a 13 year old girl in a relationship with a 18 year old boy, I'll just have to wait until I'm 16 where it doesn't seem as devastating to date a guy in his mid-twenties :} I think my hormones are really confusing me - I've been really desperate to have a boyfriend for a while.

[Saya]

Originally Posted by FlowerGirl

Thanks, that was really helpful Amunet.
I think I'll just learn to move on for now.
There are other big fishes out there, and regardless how I hate it when people comment on a 13 year old girl in a relationship with a 18 year old boy, I'll just have to wait until I'm 16 where it doesn't seem as devastating to date a guy in his mid-twenties :} I think my hormones are really confusing me - I've been really desperate to have a boyfriend for a while.

Originally Posted by FlowerGirl

Thanks, that was really helpful Amunet.
I think I'll just learn to move on for now.
There are other big out there, and regardless how I hate it when people comment on a 13 year old girl in a relationship with a 18 year old boy, I'll just have to wait until I'm 16 where it doesn't seem as devastating to date a guy in his mid-twenties :} I think my hormones are really confusing me - I've been really desperate to have a boyfriend for a while.

I know you don't like to hear it but it seriously is creepy. If he is going out with your classmate...what does that say about him, someone about to become an adult, trying to get with thirteen year olds who still have their high school years ahead of them? And would he really wait three years, no pressure?

And don't be desperate. I know hormones are raging and all, but there's a million more important things in life than romance. I don't mean to not be interested and go out with people in your age group who also meet your standards, what I'm saying is you don't need to go out with the first taker.

[Anarasha]

NO!!! >____< I broke a string on my guitar by mis-tuning(I never tuned it other than the classic EADGBE tuning, so it was bound to happen.)
Nothing catastrophic, I had an extra set of strings somewhere.
But.. Where?! I can't find my extra strings! >_< And I can't order another pair until friday when I get money, and even then I would have to wait about a week.
I must find these strings, my sanity depends on it.