"It's not real life." - Page 3

Magila · 03-13-2008, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dark Clarissa

*Raises hands* I can't be bothered, I give up! *sighs*

Hugz all round! (((hugz)))

I was joking calm down, lol

Underwater Ophelia · 03-13-2008, 08:35 AM

Does that mean you don't really like me?

Dark Clarissa · 03-13-2008, 08:38 AM

*spits coffee through nose with laughter*

Ben Lahnger · 03-13-2008, 08:42 AM

I understand that most of the drama has been wrung out of ... er, cleared up in this thread.

But I want to state one point that I can't believe is even debatable: I still maintain that people mostly do not have the same relationships and experiences online as in real life.

People do not start discussions online with new people they meet by saying things like, "Hi, I weigh 300 pounds, am fatalistically single and still live in my parent's basement, have poor socialization skills and work a menial job at McRetail. I have not been able to maintain a meaningful relationship in real life for more than a year but use the anonymity of the internet to befriend other socially challenged people so I can assuage my stunted self-esteem. How are you?"

Of course, I exaggerate. As a former Star Trek club president, I'm entitled. I moved out of my parent's house 5 days after I turned 18, never wore a Klingon or Star Trek uniform and never had a desire to pretend to be a character on the show. But because at one point I was president of a Star Trek club, people made all sorts of assumptions (baseless or not) about me when they heard that fact, and sometimes it mattered in cases where I wanted the relationship to work.

In real life, people see how much you weigh. They see if you have a beautiful face or if you are plain. They see any deformities you may have. They hear how you speak. And the other senses come in to play. People are prejudicial by nature, and part of that is a necessity. Natural selection dictates that we learn to make judgments about who we interact with, avoid, depend on, mate with, etc.

Prejudices are sometimes effective ways to make good judgments about things - I am prejudiced against limburger cheese. If I smell it I head in the other direction.

And some other prejudices are not fair, valid or morally defensible, but they are still an aspect of reality that we have to deal with. And most people make compromises in real life to minimize the impact of those prejudices on them; we hide our tattoos when we apply for a job, we dress up and try to look our very best on a first date to a level we rarely approach after dating someone for over a year, we suck in our gut when a pretty girl walks by, etc.

I'm just saying none of that applies on the internet. And no one I know lays all their shortcomings out on the internet for everyone to see, or advises everyone online of all those things that would cause prejudiced reactions in real life. Nor should they. But that is the blessing and the curse of the internet. And it is not the same thing as real life.

Hell, if someone on the interweb insults me, it's just incredibly hard for me to get offended by it because I know no one online can possibly know me. But in real life, ah ... that is a different matter.

I honestly don't even know how anyone can even argue that it's the same thing.

Magila · 03-13-2008, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

Does that mean you don't really like me?

haha, i doo i doo, ophelia i lost duck mans forum link, can we secretly arrange a link to it ?

Underwater Ophelia · 03-13-2008, 10:48 AM

Don't be an ass.
I'm not making the same mistake twice, I like it here.

Magila · 03-13-2008, 10:51 AM

....okey

Mir · 03-13-2008, 10:55 AM

I remember posting this exact same comment awhile ago but here goes nothing.

You people take life way too damn seriously.

Also, for the new ones here;

Hi, I weigh 300 pounds, am fatalistically single and still live in my parent's basement, have poor socialization skills and work a menial job at McRetail. I have not been able to maintain a meaningful relationship in real life for more than a year but use the anonymity of the internet to befriend other socially challenged people so I can assuage my stunted self-esteem. How are you?

Underwater Ophelia · 03-13-2008, 11:03 AM

I'm good.

Mir · 03-13-2008, 11:10 AM

I'm surprised you responded having read all that I just posted. Still, I'm happy for you. I'm good too. Today, I got promoted to Head Cleaner for McRetail. Whats new with you?

Bete Noire · 03-13-2008, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger

Hell, if someone on the interweb insults me, it's just incredibly hard for me to get offended by it because I know no one online can possibly know me. But in real life, ah ... that is a different matter.

I honestly don't even know how anyone can even argue that it's the same thing.

(Quote edited for convenience.)

I think in essence I agree with Ben on this. That's not to say Ophelia hasn't made some valid points, because she has. But I agree to a greater extent with Ben.

And hello Ben. Good to "see" you again.

Underwater Ophelia · 03-13-2008, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mir

I'm surprised you responded having read all that I just posted. Still, I'm happy for you. I'm good too. Today, I got promoted to Head Cleaner for McRetail. Whats new with you?

Lots of writing and dreaming.

Rosie · 03-13-2008, 12:03 PM

They say it because they're idiots who think that everything they read on Encyclopedia Dramatica is Gospel Truth.

Lolly PopMuzik · 03-13-2008, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosie

They say it because they're idiots who think that everything they read on Encyclopedia Dramatica is Gospel Truth.

Nice to see that you're not bitter about being one of their entries.

ionic_angel · 03-13-2008, 05:05 PM

No one posts their faults?

I'm 23. I made a bad business decision trying to start a business that cost me and a lot of other people a lot of money. I can be un-compassionate and un-empathetic, I tend to be oriented towards completing tasks, and I rarely let my personal concerns or others get in the way.

When people make me mad I tend to internalize. I easily depress myself, and I'm not voluntarily very social. Oh, and I can be very arrogant.

I'm lazy about keeping my room and car clean, I play computer games a little too much, and I need to get more exercise, though I'm not fat.

Hmm. I'm overly perfectionistic about details, I'm self-critical about my artistic works to the point of paralysis, and I like chocolate WAY too much.

Oh, and I have a goatee, and I'm contrary, and my hair is frizzy.

AngelikDemonik · 03-13-2008, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

People often say this referring to the internet. In what way isn't being on the internet "real life?" I realize that when you turn off your computer it's gone, but that doesn't mean it's not made up of real people expressing real ideas.
The person you are on the internet definitely gives people a clue who you are in real life as well. For example, if you're a whiny bitch here, you're probably a whiny bitch elsewhere. If you argue a lot on here, it's likely you argue a lot with the people you interact with in person. What's more, it is possible to hurt someone over the internet, and that person isn't stupid or over-dramatic if his or her feelings are hurt. Just because something hurtful was expressed in text and not voice doesn't mean it isn't hurtful.

Another point--people say--"relax, it's just the internet," or "don't get worked up over a fight on the internet." I think people should relax about most things, and shouldn't get worked up over fights ever, because that's when stupid things happen.

I pretty much agree with everything you said. There was a 13 year old girl that killed herself because of harassment a MOTHER was doing to her via MySpace (granted, that's not the only thing, but it was her breaking point).

My only trife is how a lot of people on MySpace tries to portray themselves as hardasses/or having really snotty attitudes. Especially when it's people that I know in person, and I know them to be very nice to everyone. That annoys me. It's just MySpace...calm down.

Catch · 03-13-2008, 05:14 PM

The Internet is just as real or fake as anywhere else. There are plenty of people who don't lie on the forum. Plus, you can use the Internet for work and maintaining contacts. It's real enough.

Sure there are people who pretend to be something they are not. That happens in real life too. There are also people who are more themself on the Internet than anywhere else because society demands that they cannot be themself in person. Too many downfalls, they are unattractive or having a hard time.

Of course, that's why people hate the Internet also, because the circumstantial realities of a person's life may not be what the person assumed. Upon meeting, the societial dogmas reappear.

ionic_angel · 03-13-2008, 05:31 PM

I don't lie on the forum. What's the point? If I suck, pretending to be someone else won't change that. And if I don't suck, as is the case, then what do I gain by lying about myself?

HumanePain · 03-13-2008, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catch

The Internet is just as real or fake as anywhere else. There are plenty of people who don't lie on the forum...

Sure there are people who pretend to be something they are not. That happens in real life too. There are also people who are more themselves on the Internet than anywhere else because society demands that they cannot be them self in person. Too many downfalls, they are unattractive or having a hard time.

Quoted for truth. How many here have found people who bullshit in real life? The internet is an extension. For people who bullshit, they can bullshit even more on the net. It's their alternet. For people who care and are honest, I think their personality shines through the internet as well. It is an extension of the original personality.

ionic_angel · 03-13-2008, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HumanePain

Quoted for truth. How many here have found people who bullshit in real life? The internet is an extension. For people who bullshit, they can bullshit even more on the net. It's their alternet. For people who care and are honest, I think their personality shines through the internet as well. It is an extension of the original personality.

I would very much agree with this, although I think the internet tends to exaggerate certain traits.

Many times, the reason people to not become aggressive is because they fear the consequences. On the internet, that is rarely the case.

Catch · 03-13-2008, 05:42 PM

yah. . . . . . . . . . .

Lolly PopMuzik · 03-13-2008, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ionic_angel

No one posts their faults?

I'm 23. I made a bad business decision trying to start a business that cost me and a lot of other people a lot of money. I can be un-compassionate and un-empathetic, I tend to be oriented towards completing tasks, and I rarely let my personal concerns or others get in the way.

When people make me mad I tend to internalize. I easily depress myself, and I'm not voluntarily very social. Oh, and I can be very arrogant.

I'm lazy about keeping my room and car clean, I play computer games a little too much, and I need to get more exercise, though I'm not fat.

Hmm. I'm overly perfectionistic about details, I'm self-critical about my artistic works to the point of paralysis, and I like chocolate WAY too much.

Oh, and I have a goatee, and I'm contrary, and my hair is frizzy.

Uh, the faults bit should be a few topics down.

Rosie · 03-13-2008, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lolly PopMuzik

Nice to see that you're not bitter about being one of their entries.

Oh what, that "butthurt" bullshit?

ED just sucks. It sucks even moreso than they can say BUTTHURT any time someone points this out. ED produces idiots like you and needs to die.

Corpsey · 03-13-2008, 07:57 PM

Well, I was sure surprised by all this.

I think Humane explained everything the best so far.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HumanePain

The internet is an extension. For people who bullshit, they can bullshit even more on the net. It's their alternet. For people who care and are honest, I think their personality shines through the internet as well. It is an extension of the original personality.

I've always thought this. It's not all of yourself, but a part of your true self slips out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger

In real life, people see how much you weigh. They see if you have a beautiful face or if you are plain. They see any deformities you may have. They hear how you speak. And the other senses come in to play. People are prejudicial by nature, and part of that is a necessity. Natural selection dictates that we learn to make judgments about who we interact with, avoid, depend on, mate with, etc.

...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger

I'm just saying none of that applies on the internet. And no one I know lays all their shortcomings out on the internet for everyone to see, or advises everyone online of all those things that would cause prejudiced reactions in real life. Nor should they. But that is the blessing and the curse of the internet. And it is not the same thing as real life.

Very true as well.

I have to combine these two ideas together. The internet beaks down the social barriers between people and allows us to fantasize or escape our usual characters to what we wish we could be. Some is purely fictitious, yet some is going to be part of our real ego. Virtues and vices can show through via the internet. We can care less about what other 'cyber' persons think about us because the consequences of lying or being more than what we are in real life are minuscule to what would happen if we were like that in real life.

Still, it's not our real selves at all and we shouldn't take it as seriously as we would in real life. Read into it as much as you like or assume, you can't see my facials or hear the tones in my voice as if I was speaking this to you. Real emotion is lost in blank words. Plus, we can come back to whatever was stated a few hours later and make a rebuttal to whomever disagrees with you but don't have to go with that blow for blow instantaneous feel of an argument in real life. The social interaction is not as high as it would be in real life.

Hence why I like Humane's explanation. It's just an extension of our true selves but we cannot be as emotionally connected to the responses we get via the internet as we get in real life.

For example, I can call you all Emo. Via the internet you can slap me about all you like and have no repercussions to it whatsoever. I also can get away with calling you all Emo. Try that out in a real life situation and I'd be a dork and if you retaliated back towards me then we'd have some intriguing possibilities ahead of us.

It also depends on whether you really give a toss about Emo or not.

Assume, assume, assume.

Lolly PopMuzik · 03-13-2008, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosie

Oh what, that "butthurt" bullshit?

ED just sucks. It sucks even moreso than they can say BUTTHURT any time someone points this out. ED produces idiots like you and needs to die.

Yes, because this statement is going to lessen your article. As opposed to, you know, butching it up and doing a 180 on your snotty moping.