Zaney Duane needs your help!!!

[Wednesday Friday Addams]

Originally Posted by Duane

Um... no? I was just thinking of getting her a single rose, or maybe just a stuffed animal.

WOOSH .

[Oblivious Nexus]

Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus

Chloroform.

Beautiful, my dear

[I Am Great.]

You should beat her up. It would be funny.

[Pancakes of Doom]

Here's a few nobody has seemed to mention:

- Your phone. It's a good idea that if you have to take your phone with you to either turn it off or have it set on vibrate. Nothing can spoil the moment like one of your buddies calling you up to shoot the breeze.

- If you happen to have friends like one of mine who goes far out of his way to spoil people's dates, you may want to make sure they don't know where you're going.

- Lastly, pay attention to the weather. If rain is in the forecast or if it looks like it's going to rain, don't eat at an outdoor eatery.

[LaBelleDameSansMerci]

That last tip is a good one, Pancakes. *nods*
Unless you both like eating while soggy :P

Also, dress for the weather. You don't want to be wearing something heavy that'll get you all sweaty if it'll be warm, but you don't want to be shivering cuz you wore something too light, either. Both tend to cause one to not be at ease. :P

[Duane]

I need help, again!!! I'd like to lose weight... like... 50 lbs. Please helps me! Danke.

[HumanePain]

So what ever happened on the the Great Date? After all the advice we deserve to know the results!

[Magila]

Never act needy, as in don't give her the upper hand in the date, else she'll get bored and women hate when it's too easy to get. that's the only thing you should remember.

[Magila]

disregard what i wrote previously, thought you did not go to the date yet.

Start smoking, you'll drop weight.

[blackwater1110]

Originally Posted by Duane

I need help, again!!! I'd like to lose weight... like... 50 lbs. Please helps me! Danke.

Throw yourself into a vat of starving, half-crazed piranhas. They'll give you that gaunt, emaciated look you're going for.

[bleedingheart344]

I think it didn't go so well. Duane, I'll give you diet tips according to Volk. Do what I do, skip all your meals. Meals don't exist with my plan. All I do is eat whatever I want in small portions throughout the day. To this day, I am a solid 107 pounds with a 30 inch waist.

[Disaffected Shoelaces]

Eat five portions of fruit and vegetables a day. Not only will it make your skin look bee-YOOtiful, but if you're filling up on healthy stuff then there's less room for junk food. Get into dips, celery and guacamole (sp?) is a really nice snack. Be realistic, though, and allow yourself one "bad" thing a day (like a chocolate bar or a glass of Coke), otherwise you WILL cave fast. Eat your bad thing as early in the day as you can to make sure you burn it off over the day, and try not to eat anything big after 8 in the evening. Also, try not to eat red meat more than twice a week.

Living at home can make it hard to lose weight, when you can't control what's being cooked for you, so if your parents are like mine ("salad? What is this creature you speak of?! Have a bit of pie, it's good for you"), then I'd recommend learning to cook for yourself. I love cooking, so I can provide some piss-easy and cheap recipes if you wish. If all else fails, a can of soup with some brown bread to dip can be made flawlessly by the worst cook in the universe.

If you're hungry, drink a pint of water. Someone taught me that thirst is easily mistaken for hunger, and it's so true - that's the best tip you can use if you're trying to drop some poundage. Drink a glass before each meal and you'll get full faster, and if you're still hungry after eating dinner drink a pint again. I sometimes still feel hungry after meals, but give me a drink of water and I'll realise I'm actually stuffed. This REALLY works, trust me!

Another major thing is exercise. Lots of my friends complain about being on diets and not losing any weight. You will not lose weight if you don't get some exercise, unless you're prepared to eat so little you're constantly hungry. If you're got an MP3 player, load it up with music (it takes the boringness out) and go for a brisk walk for half an hour. Do this every day and you'll drop weight like nobody's business.

Good luck!

[Underwater Ophelia]

Originally Posted by HumanePain

If you get dressing on your lips, don't wipe it with a napkin, lick your lips. As the two of you engage in conversation, and you slice a meatball in half, hold up the impaled half and rotate the fork, observing the meatball from all sides, contemplating it before you devour it. Look for the opportunity to use the word "Yum!" and mean it.

I hate to do this to you, Duane, but keep in mind, all girls are different. What HP said above might be sexy to some girls, but if a guy licked dressing off of his lips instead of using a napkin, I'd be both grossed out and very unimpressed.

[Underwater Ophelia]

Originally Posted by Duane

Um... no? I was just thinking of getting her a single rose, or maybe just a stuffed animal.

No, unless you're going somewhere nice and dressing up.
If you're just going to the movies, or going anywhere but something formal, I would stay away from this.

and never a stuffed animal unless you KNOW 100% that she has a thing for lions and you get her a lion or something.

[I Am Great.]

Also, stop calling yrself "Zaney Dwayne". It makes you look like a mook.

No offense. I actually like you.

[Duane]

What should I call my self then, Lord Duane? Hm, or just Duane?

[I Am Great.]

Just Dwayne. Turns out normalcy goes a long way.

[Duane]

Oh, and the date hasn't taken place yet, hopefully it will Friday.

[gothicusmaximus]

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

I hate to do this to you, Duane, but keep in mind, all girls are different. What HP said above might be sexy to some girls, but if a guy licked dressing off of his lips instead of using a napkin, I'd be both grossed out and very unimpressed.

Also, you run the risk of me punching you in the face, because I would be forced by my most deeply held principles to violently despise someone who acts as Humane instructed you to act.

Another tip- this date is never going to happen. She keeps delaying in the apparently vain hope that eventually you'll take a hint.

[Solumina]

The best way to lose weight is to eat when your body tells you to eat, just don't go for junk. If you get hungry frequently then carry around some dried fruit to munch on, also try and have something full of complex carbs and/or lean protein in the morning as it will keep your energy levels high, and your metabolism going, throughout the day. It also helps to keep yourself hydrated.

You also need to get/keep yourself active, one of the best ways is to get around on foot, or a bike, instead of taking a car. Also if you want to set op an actual workout regimen then I would recommend light cardio, as it wont put too much stress on your body and cardio will drop the pounds as opposed to building muscle mass

[badteccy]

Are dates this hard that threads need to be made about them? Pff, maybe this is why I'm single, but I sure am glad because dating is just too much damn work.
I have more fun going to shows and the diner with my friends than any lame ass date...
(so lonely)

[badteccy]

Also, I'm not really lonely, at all.

[I Am Great.]

They really fucking are. Chicks are so damn persnickety and fickle.

[Underwater Ophelia]

Not all of us.

[I Am Great.]

Yes you are, you're just too persnickety and fickle to notice.