Please Help!

Smile · 08-06-2007, 02:30 AM

My best friend is going through a rough time right now. His mom is very ill, his dad doesn't give a shit cuz they're divorced, his sister was...violated..., and the love of his life--the only person he could truly count on--has moved to another country. He contemplates suicide far too often and he has cut before. What's making all this worse is that the people around him, acquaintances, school buddies, make him feel like a loser because they can play musical instruments and have all sorts of talents while he doesn't; I like to think that he hasn't found his passion yet but he doesn't believe so. All he says is "I'm a loser, I got used to that already".

The thing about him is, I'll call him Booty, is that he is a beautiful person, inside and out. He thinks he's untalented but I think he's the most talented person I've ever met in my entire life. He is kind, patient, generous, caring and sensitive and he has a way of saying things so that even if you feel like the world is waging a war against you, you find the courage to fight back. Those are things most people do not have, and no amount of practice, lessons or money can attain that.

I don't know what to do, he always seems so depressed, and if anyone has any advice, please reply to this thread.

Nevan · 08-06-2007, 02:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smile

The thing about him is, I'll call him Booty, is that he is a beautiful person, inside and out. He thinks he's untalented but I think he's the most talented person I've ever met in my entire life. He is kind, patient, generous, caring and sensitive and he has a way of saying things so that even if you feel like the world is waging a war against you, you find the courage to fight back. Those are things most people do not have, and no amount of practice, lessons or money can attain that.

Have you told him that?

Smile · 08-06-2007, 02:39 AM

In bits and pieces, but I always supposed he knew I thought that.

Cappinator · 08-06-2007, 02:47 AM

People with low self esteem need reinforcement, perhaps constantly. They seek reassurance with other people and if they can't get it (or they get the opposite) it reinforces their low self-image.

He needs someone to stand by him, to support him, to tell him he has a friend and who will stand by him, and maybe even to tell him what a great person he is.

Here's an important thing: don't just say it in reaction to his depressed statements. He'll think you're only trying to cheer him up and that you'll say anything, even stuff that isn't true. Instead, tell him these things out of the blue, in casual conversation. Or even take him aside for a few minutes and tell him how much you appreciate his friendship and the things that make him so special.

This is not something that will fix itself overnight. I personally have been dealing with someone who has low self esteem (an extreme version of it even) and it takes care and attention to slowly change their minds about themselves.

Basically, he needs you. If you really think he's so wonderful, I know you'll want to go the distance to help him.

Smile · 08-06-2007, 02:53 AM

Wow, that really helped, thx Cappinator. It's hard to articulate the words though, I knw i can tell him anything but it doesn't make it any easier...

Cappinator · 08-06-2007, 03:32 AM

You're welcome. I'm glad to help.

You sound like a very nice person caring about your friend so much. I hope everything works out. Just remember to be there for him and don't expect things to change over night.

Good luck to you and your friend!

the-broken-harlequin · 08-06-2007, 09:19 AM

Heres what you do: Go to any shop, buy a few My chemical romance CD's then use the razor that comes free with it and run it down your wrist while sobbing.
But don't do it across your wrist, only down.

Totschläger · 08-06-2007, 10:14 AM

Always down the road, never across the street.

Tha Duckman · 08-06-2007, 05:08 PM

No, no , NO!!! You're BOTH wrong! You chop off yr head!

the-broken-harlequin · 08-07-2007, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tha Duckman

No, no , NO!!! You're BOTH wrong! You chop off yr head!

Prove me wrong!
The truth is out there!

Tha Duckman · 08-07-2007, 09:03 AM

[Chops yr head off].

iymoiniun7u

biohazard · 08-07-2007, 10:49 AM

I would suggest that you spend time with your friend, telling him about the good things you have said about him. Convince him that you really care about him, and that his absence will affect you.

Amarantha · 08-17-2007, 05:41 PM

Just a thought, but maybe keep Duckie away from your friend. No matter how low his self esteem, I'm sure he'd like to keep his head :-P

Lots of hugs seem to do the trick ^.^

Tha Duckman · 08-17-2007, 07:06 PM

Heads are for losers. I have a TV!

MollyMac · 08-17-2007, 07:20 PM

I need some head.

Tha Duckman · 08-17-2007, 07:48 PM

[Gives MollyMac head].

iym09nyioujo

the-broken-harlequin · 08-17-2007, 08:09 PM

Seiously you two, get a room.

MollyMac · 08-17-2007, 08:16 PM

Rooms are for people who suck at sex.

the-broken-harlequin · 08-17-2007, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MollyMac

Rooms are for people who suck at sex.

Then get a small confined area.

Tha Duckman · 08-17-2007, 08:23 PM

Small confined areas are for people with tiny penises.

MollyMac · 08-17-2007, 08:25 PM

This board is nothing but small, confined areas.

the-broken-harlequin · 08-17-2007, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tha Duckman

Small confined areas are for people with tiny penises.

So I suppose I should go into them, eh?

MollyMac · 08-17-2007, 08:32 PM

It's OK. You'll hit puberty soon.

Tha Duckman · 08-17-2007, 08:44 PM

One day, my child, one day...

MollyMac · 08-17-2007, 08:46 PM

And then... woe to the Republic.