no friends

mindless1 · 10-14-2007, 12:58 PM

I have been going to college now for this year. I haven't made any friends at all and no one has barely approached me this whole time. I'm getting pretty fed up with going and I don't think I'll ever be able to make it through the year if I can't talk to people. I haven't joined a club yet and I am living at home and commuting. I still can't even drive. I'm just tired of being alone. I didn't even go to homecoming because I had no one to go with, and people are partying but I haven't been invited. I even see people I recognize but just like in highschool they never approach me. I don't know why I'm this way.
I don't think I can handle being this alone much longer. It's seriously making me depressed and suicidal. I haven't felt this depressed in awhile. I assume it would be better just to not go than to go and see what you're missing. I want to say hi, I have said HI, but that doesn't matter- everyone's busy with themselves. Everyone. No one sees me and no one but a few people have bothered to try and say hello. I'm becoming isolationist. I can't wait to go home once I'm in class. I can't stand waiting around people. My social anxiety has been a lot better since I've been going to college, but still, why can't things be easier?

Godslayer Jillian · 10-14-2007, 01:18 PM

You said you're not in any club?
How come?
Clubs are awesome and a perfect way to meet people.

NachtSorcier · 10-14-2007, 01:24 PM

I know how you feel, nobody is ever interested in me either. It makes me depressed sometimes, but I can't say that I've ever been suicidal. Really, the lack of others' approval is no need to kill yourself. Just be the best person you can be and if no one likes you, fuck 'em, they're not worth your time. It's all about being comfortable with yourself. I know I'm a good person and if others can't appreciate that, then I don't need them.

As for clubs...in my experience, you only make false friends there, people who are nice to you during club meetings and activities, but you never see or talk to them otherwise.

DarkGentleman · 10-14-2007, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NachtSorcier

I know how you feel, nobody is ever interested in me either. It makes me depressed sometimes, but I can't say that I've ever been suicidal. Really, the lack of others' approval is no need to kill yourself. Just be the best person you can be and if no one likes you, fuck 'em, they're not worth your time. It's all about being comfortable with yourself. I know I'm a good person and if others can't appreciate that, then I don't need them.

I am EXACTLY the same way here. It took me a while to realize that when I was in high school because I was young and not knowing what I was going to do with my life.
Right now, I still try to make friends and but mostly ended up with accquaintances which is a start for some people to know me more later on.

Hopefully someone people will appreciate you, me or NachtSorcier as a true friend, Mindless1. Patience will pay off when that happens.

Valerius · 10-14-2007, 04:36 PM

I dunno. Maybe you should start by shedding all that self-pity? The posts I've seen out of you are all about whining about being lonely, or being suicidal or being depressed and shit. Nobody likes depressed people because they suck the life out of everything.

(heartofflames) · 10-15-2007, 03:29 PM

um...this is my senior year, the year people are supposed to be happiest, but see here, I have a classroom full of preps and none of them bother much with me. My last hope of a friend socializes much more than I do, so she's made new friends, leaving me alone with my book....which suits me fine. Really, I expected people to ignore me after I started with the eyeliner, and I don't care....but do try to participate in activities, since you can express yourself, and find someone that might like you. I recommend you not pick fights with the preps, though... why? because they are imbecils, and do not respect anyone that contradicts them in the least...

Underwater Ophelia · 10-15-2007, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by (heartofflames)

um...this is my senior year, the year people are supposed to be happiest, but see here, I have a classroom full of preps and none of them bother much with me. My last hope of a friend socializes much more than I do, so she's made new friends, leaving me alone with my book....which suits me fine. Really, I expected people to ignore me after I started with the eyeliner, and I don't care....but do try to participate in activities, since you can express yourself, and find someone that might like you. I recommend you not pick fights with the preps, though... why? because they are imbecils, and do not respect anyone that contradicts them in the least...

Maybe they just resent being labeled just as much as you do?

(heartofflames) · 10-16-2007, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

Maybe they just resent being labeled just as much as you do?

no....not exactly....they're apparently very confident that they're just "kewler" than the rest of us loonies that like strange music.....
Believe me, the people in my class with pounce on you for NO REASON...

DarkPrayer · 10-16-2007, 01:36 PM

I have no friends either. Ever since Grade 1. I think I have an aura that repels people.

Underwater Ophelia · 10-16-2007, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by (heartofflames)

no....not exactly....they're apparently very confident that they're just "kewler" than the rest of us loonies that like strange music.....
Believe me, the people in my class with pounce on you for NO REASON...

Wait, how old are you? I was thinking you were 10th or higher. If you're lower than 10th, that's more understandable. Kids are mean.

But still, calling them "preps" and whatnot is just as bad as them being mean to you. You don't have to be a Christian to make good use of the whole "turn the other cheek" thing.

(heartofflames) · 10-16-2007, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

Wait, how old are you? I was thinking you were 10th or higher. If you're lower than 10th, that's more understandable. Kids are mean.

But still, calling them "preps" and whatnot is just as bad as them being mean to you. You don't have to be a Christian to make good use of the whole "turn the other cheek" thing.

I'm so young you would ridicule me like hell....
But yea, I call them preps because they call me emo, but I'm not that big a fan of stereotyping.... I have friends that love Abercrombie and love sean kingston, but unlike some people, they don't give me trouble....

Graveyard.Crow · 10-16-2007, 04:30 PM

ABRECOMBIE IS A REAL STORE? I thought it was just a made up store they used for the Mad TV skits.

DarkPrayer · 10-16-2007, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graveyard.Crow

ABRECOMBIE IS A REAL STORE? I thought it was just a made up store they used for the Mad TV skits.

Really? I didn't even know what Abercrombie was!

(heartofflames) · 10-16-2007, 06:03 PM

wow.... Abercrombie is a store, along with Aeropostale, Hollister, and American Eagle....I do not shop in any....

LaLaLogic · 10-16-2007, 07:21 PM

Ah, this is my problem too. I've got very bad social anxiety.

Sometimes it helps to think about who it is you're trying to make friends with. Is there a particular group or kind of people you've been focusing on? If there is, maybe you should think about trying for a different kind if the ones you have been trying for aren't working for you.

I mean, look at this thread. There's a lot of people who feel the same way you do and will understand. It takes some time to meet and find them, but they are out there.

Graveyard.Crow · 10-16-2007, 08:06 PM

People can smell confidence
You need it to make people like you
when people see that you like yourself they think "Well there has got to be something cool to this guy/girl"
Speak from personal experience

(heartofflames) · 10-24-2007, 01:35 PM

XD I find it very ironic that I was just watching hellraiser......
And I would very much prepfer Aberzombie to Abercrombie....

Christina_Death1334 · 10-24-2007, 04:39 PM

I didn't have too many friends before June. I had some, but most of them ridiculed me. I remember sitting at home, alone, every day. I thought about ending it on account of lonliness. But I didn't. And only half a month after I thought about doing it, i met a wonderful guy and made some great friends. So, just hold it out. (Note: I did have friends, but they made me feel worthless and used me. They were hardly friends at all.)

DepthsofSpace · 10-24-2007, 07:13 PM

Friends? Hmm... Let me fine a dictionary, I know I've heard that word before..

Ah! Okay, now I know what you speak of!

Being serious, I'm a rather assertive person, so I can find people to talk to, if only just for business. My work means speaking with people on a near daily basis. That's okay for casual socializing, however not really for long term friendships.

At school, I know next to nobody. Those I do, sort of have a, odd relationship with. I feel bad, because the Tyler they know, isn't quite me. I played a different card with them, and when they got to attached to the faux me, I sort of backed off. I didn't care for people adoring a lie. I never, ever get "Goth'ed-up" around them, and actually, today I ran into one who I didn't expect to see while wearing a little bit of make-up, all black, etc. They were rather shocked and started prodding me about it. I just sort of backed off and left.

And I really feel bad that I misled people for the sake of appearing professional, and then sort of dodge them on my personal life, especially when they aren't business partners or anything. I am looking forward to moving away as I transfer to my next college. My plan as it is now is to enter that college with no illusions of who I am. From what I've seen, it looks like a very diverse college, though lots of sharp divisions between cliques.

Christina_Death1334 · 10-24-2007, 07:35 PM

Good idea. I have had similair experiences. A friend I knew from my mom's church saw me out in all black with a trench coat and a furry hat 9like the Russian ones). They freaked out and started going off about how they thought I was a 'good Christian girl'.

I never said I was Christian.

DepthsofSpace · 10-24-2007, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Christina_Death1334

Good idea. I have had similair experiences. A friend I knew from my mom's church saw me out in all black with a trench coat and a furry hat 9like the Russian ones). They freaked out and started going off about how they thought I was a 'good Christian girl'.

I never said I was Christian.

Ja, funny thing for me is I had lunch today with my sister's beau (a pastor's kid). We're old friends, and though he's not Goth, most of his friends are. He's always very comfortable with my dress, no matter what it is.

I guess my favorite observation of all this, is no stereotypes work well (cultural, religious, clique) . I've got Christians who have no problem with my dress, and agnostics who do. 'Emo' types that you know would take a bullet for you, and fellow anarchist who'd put the gun to your head. 'Thugs'* that would give you the shirt off their back, and pastors that wouldn't give you a minute of time.

I've come to the realization that no matter who someone is, and no matter what crowd they try to fit into, you have to judge them as an individual.

*In referance to the hip-hop culture.

Christina_Death1334 · 10-24-2007, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DepthsofSpace

Ja, funny thing for me is I had lunch today with my sister's beau (a pastor's kid). We're old friends, and though he's not Goth, most of his friends are. He's always very comfortable with my dress, no matter what it is.

I guess my favorite observation of all this, is no stereotypes work well (cultural, religious, clique) . I've got Christians who have no problem with my dress, and agnostics who do. 'Emo' types that you know would take a bullet for you, and fellow anarchist who'd put the gun to your head. 'Thugs'* that would give you the shirt off their back, and pastors that wouldn't give you a minute of time.

I've come to the realization that no matter who someone is, and no matter what crowd they try to fit into, you have to judge them as an individual.

*In referance to the hip-hop culture.

That is so very true. I agree. I've had 'preps' help me pick up my books (but, they are SO awful) and the wannabe-Goth's at my school steal my chair at lunch.

CandyKorns · 10-29-2007, 10:23 AM

Well, I can say I have no friends, either, but that's partially my own fault. I really could care less though cause people in my life just cause drama and more stress that I got to deal with, and I Don't Need The Fucking Shit!!!

Christina_Death1334 · 10-29-2007, 03:10 PM

That's a very negative way to look at a very positive thing. I'll admit, I've had friends screw me over, but it happens. You just wait until you find a good one and you hold on to that friend for as long as you can.

Miss Happy Cat · 10-29-2007, 03:53 PM

I would say that one hell of a negative attitude to have. I may have very few friends and I only visit with them on occasions when no one has anything going on, but I can deal with whatever drama they throw my way by simply ignoring it or telling them that I don’t want to be involved.

As for not having any friends, I can remember the days when I sat at home by myself wishing I had a group to hang out with. Then I realized I had to stop being so damn picky about the people I hang out with. Granted now, none of the people I hang out with listen to the same music I do or they think the way I dress on occasion is a little odd, but we get along.