Rant Thread

[mortalitas incomitatus]

fenris, i am so sorry. but you will get through this. keep your friends close by you need them right now.
we're all thinking of you.
B.B
xXx

[Needled]

Originally Posted by xXambivalenceXx

Well, then go blind and have constant headaches if you're more concerned with appearance than health.

Originally Posted by Tall One In Black

Indeed! The added bonus is that you will no longer be able to see how ugly your glasses are. Assuming the liver damage doesn't get you first.

I have NEVER understood why people who need glasses and have glasses don't wear their glasses. In my opinion, that is stupid. They say things like, Can you tell me what that sign says? I don't have my glasses on. And I think, Um... NO. If you want to read the sign, put on your damn glasses. I'm not your freaking seeing-eye dog. You've been handed the key to good vision, and you shun it because of vanity? Get over yourself.

Thank you for your kind advice.

I would be lying to say that I do not agree with you, and that you are wrong.

BUT

Did I not include these points in my post? Here's a reminder.

--- I wish I had a good reason not to wear my glasses, but unfortunately I do not.
--- I know how vain that is...

You did not need to tell me things I already know.

[Soul_Immortal]

I'll just sprinkle on the goodvibe fairy dust and hope all is well and goes well with everyone.

((Psst. Its flavored.))

[WolfMoon]

I'm sorry to hear that, Fenris. It's always hard to go through that particular situation. I'm not going to mimic what Al said, but he's got the right of it. Take care, babe. You're in my thoughts.


Tom, boxers from Wal-mart always suck! They never do close right. That's normally a good thing for me, less clothing I have to rip through!

[joyslayer]

Fenris, I offer my condolences. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. I know from experience that the best thing to help with this loss in someone to lean on.

[edible_eye]

mourn however you need, fenris. and know that as long as we're here, you don't have to be alone.

http://nin.karelia.ru/smal/alone.jpg

[Soul_Immortal]

I hope you and all involved are well, Fenris. Forgive the coldness of my post, I didn't read through the thread entirely before I posted; I offer a piece of my heart selflessly to you and loved ones in your time of need. Take care, honey.

[FenrisQueen]

Thank you all for your support. I appreciate all your comments and thoughts. I made a small error based on false information, and the visitation will be tomorrow evening. I still haven't decided whether or not I'm going to the visitation. The funeral service will be tuesday.

[Empty_Purple_Stars]

Originally Posted by FenrisQueen

Thank you all for your support. I appreciate all your comments and thoughts. I made a small error based on false information, and the visitation will be tomorrow evening. I still haven't decided whether or not I'm going. The funeral service will be tuesday.

I am so sorry for the deep loss you and your loved ones are feeling right now.

Do whatever feels right to you Sweetie..

There is no right way to Grieve.

Personally after the last visitation I attended, I decided that it was much better for me to remember my loved one as they were in Life, and not as they appear to be after they have moved on and been laid to rest by a Funeral Home.

Now if I attend a Memorial, I pay my respects without the 'viewing' part of it.

Funerals are painful enough for me without the shock of seeing someone you Love, in that final state.

However, you know what is right for you..

We're all here for you and we all Love You to pieces..

Big Tight Hugs..

Don't be afraid to reach out to any of us, should you need somewhere to fall apart or vent.

Hang in there Precious..

[joyslayer]

My beloved best friend and boyfriend, Josh, commited suicide, 8 months ago. People say, its been a long time, you need to get over him. He's gone now. Ignoring the pain of losing someone you would have died for hurts like no bodies flipping business. Day after day, I try to forget. That doesn't help either. I could have stopped him, I could have done something, anything, to have kept him from drowning himself. But nooo, he didn't call me first. He always called me or told me when he felt suicidal. But this time, he didn't. I can't help but wonder, if I hugged him, kissed him, did anything different that he would still be alive next to me today. It hurts. It kills you so slowly that I would rather die than endure this. Every morning I wake up, and wonder why I get out of bed, What makes me still live? I have much to live for, my two lovely guys,(whom know about eachother, we've created our own little threesome of love ) my friends whom I love dearly, and my own thoughts. My own being. I can't just stop living, no matter how many times I try to end it all, someone stops me. You would think they would get the hint after days and weeks of not being able to leave me alone, but no. I am still here, the miserable lump on the computer chair holding back emotions that are ready to attack the next person and cry on their shoulder til they die. I haven't cried yet, I should, but Josh hated it when I cried. I just need him. Him alone. But hes dead, gone, not coming back, ever. I need to accept that, but I can't. I don't know why, reason and logic seemed to have died, but I can't accept that fact. Maybe it's just my stubborn assy side taking hold of me, but it seems so impossible. Or maybe it's just my way of mourning him. Mourning so he is not forgotten. I won't allow that, but I still try to forget him. How do you move on from someone you have known and loved forever it seems. I can't remember one happy moment, (from the past) that didn't involve him. Him, this tall handsome guy with emerald green eyes that could never be forgotten. I can still hear his laugh echoing and reverberating through my head, and these empty halls. I can still see his smile. A smile that could have lighten up the darkest of rooms. Yet when there are tens of people waiting for me to lean on their shoulders, I can not. Because none of them are him.

[Tall One In Black]

Originally Posted by Needled

Thank you for your kind advice.

I would be lying to say that I do not agree with you, and that you are wrong.

BUT

Did I not include these points in my post? Here's a reminder.

--- I wish I had a good reason not to wear my glasses, but unfortunately I do not.
--- I know how vain that is...

You did not need to tell me things I already know.

It wasn't advice. There is not a single "you should" in my post. The first part of my post was sarcasm. The second part was a general comment about my opinion of people who don't wear their glasses.

If you don't want people to comment on your bad choices, you shouldn't post about them. Anything you post is likely to draw comment; that's the whole point of a discussion board.

I was once a kid stuck with cheap plastic frame glasses. They didn't exactly help my abysmal self-esteem. But I wore them anyway - squinting and fighting headaches every day was a far worse option.

[WolfMoon]

Joy ~ Write him a letter. You can't possibly mail it to him, but getting it all out can help.

[Needled]

Originally Posted by Tall One In Black

It wasn't advice. There is not a single "you should" in my post. The first part of my post was sarcasm. The second part was a general comment about my opinion of people who don't wear their glasses.

If you don't want people to comment on your bad choices, you shouldn't post about them. Anything you post is likely to draw comment; that's the whole point of a discussion board.

I was once a kid stuck with cheap plastic frame glasses. They didn't exactly help my abysmal self-esteem. But I wore them anyway - squinting and fighting headaches every day was a far worse option.

"Get over yourself" sounded like advice to me. Maybe I misinterpreted it.

The only thing I was saying is that what I posted mentioned the same things you mentioned-purposely. I knew some people would shit on me about how vain and stupid it was that I wouldn't wear them, so I said it myself before anyone else did. My intention was to save others from commenting on what I already knew, instead you pretty much repeated the same information.

But I have come to the conclusion that it would be ideal to start wearing glasses. When I got them 3 years ago I had 20/30. Last year I got a physical and had 20/70. I know it's probably worse now. I tried on my old ones today and they don't do much for me since I did get them when my vision wasn't half as bad as it is now, so I will need to get new ones. It will be awhile before I get them probably. I'm hoping maybe they have updated their selection and included more options. If not, I'll still wear them though just because now, even when I squint it's still blurry. That sort of tells me something.

[urian]

joy,

truth be told, you'll prolly go the rest of your life wondering "what if". It's natural so don't let anyone else get on your case about it. Everyone heals in there own time. I can tell that your hurt is very deep and genuine & I'm sorry you have to carry it. It's been 11 years since my youngest brother died in a car accident and I still have thoughts cross my mind like" what if I'd have taken them to school that day?".
It's natural and it happens. Just dont let the grief consume you. It doesnt sound like it has and thats a great thing. Wolf's right about the letter. It's helped a lot of people I know cope and progress in healing.
I could sit here and write a self help book on this screen but I wont. Just know that , if you want to vent or talk, there are plenty of people here that will listen & understand.

[Tall One In Black]

Originally Posted by Needled

"Get over yourself" sounded like advice to me. Maybe I misinterpreted it.

It was part of the general comment I was making. Nothing was directed at you specifically.

Originally Posted by Needled

But I have come to the conclusion that it would be ideal to start wearing glasses. When I got them 3 years ago I had 20/30. Last year I got a physical and had 20/70. I know it's probably worse now. I tried on my old ones today and they don't do much for me since I did get them when my vision wasn't half as bad as it is now, so I will need to get new ones. It will be awhile before I get them probably. I'm hoping maybe they have updated their selection and included more options. If not, I'll still wear them though just because now, even when I squint it's still blurry. That sort of tells me something.

Wearing glasses will never be fun, but you might as well start doing it now. No point in having daily headaches for the rest of the forseeable future. Plus it hampers your everyday life. You certainly won't be able to drive without your glasses.

Having bad vision sucks. Having it get worse each year is scary. Unfortunately, it probably won't level off until your late 20's. It bites, but that's the way it usually works.

People who have 20/20 vision do not appreciate how fortunate they are.

[joyslayer]

Heh, thanks guys. I have tried the letter aproach, it just made me feel more suicidal, and that is also something I am trying to overcome. It just makes you feel empty, when someone who was always there is just gone one day. And the emptiness is bitter and is biting, like starvation.

[Needled]

Originally Posted by Tall One In Black

It was part of the general comment I was making. Nothing was directed at you specifically.


Wearing glasses will never be fun, but you might as well start doing it now. No point in having daily headaches for the rest of the forseeable future. Plus it hampers your everyday life. You certainly won't be able to drive without your glasses.

Having bad vision sucks. Having it get worse each year is scary. Unfortunately, it probably won't level off until your late 20's. It bites, but that's the way it usually works.

People who have 20/20 vision do not appreciate how fortunate they are.

I'm worried about the driving. I take drivers ed in April and I probably wont pass.. I know they give a vision test (or whatever it is called), and I surely wont pass it if I haven't got my new glasses by then. We were just cut off of medicaid because the social worker found out that my dad works and that he gets paid under the table. So that was great timing. My mom has glasses that I could use but they're different because I can see close up and not far away, she's the opposite. My friend was talking about letting me borrow hers while I take drivers ed.

I just really regret having not worn the glasses when I first got them. If I had just wore them then eventually I wouldn't have needed them anymore.. If only I knew then what I know now.

[joyslayer]

Like menioned up there, there is no time for "what if's"

[joyslayer]

I've been through the liquor stage, I ended up waking up in some random guy's house, that was creepy. Never again. Plus I had a hang over to boot a hippo right outta the park.

[joyslayer]

*pouts* I happen to like the hippo.

[AlKilyu]

Well since TStone was brave enough to tell of his loss, there is a reason I know a few things about death: I have lost most of my family in the past eight years.

I lost my father in 2000, and three short years later my mother. That was amongst all four grandparents, two aunts, and not counting the cousin I lost this last Christmas I lost one to AIDS a few years ago.

My lovely ex, who I had been with for 10 years, couldn't handle the stress of my mother dying and bailed two months before. After I saw her (my mother) for the last time, my plan was to kill myself. Had it planned out, notes and everything, it was to be that night. But I realized my dog, who was my mother's, had lost everyone she ever knew including our older dog of 16 years who died in the few weeks between my dad's mom dying and my dad. I couldn't let this poor thing exist alone, after all of this so I vowed to stick around for her.

I went home to an empty house, with no one to comfort me. I went the funeral days later, then again, to an empty home. It was summer, you see, and much like Christmas people go on vacations, as they should. When they do that they are happy and leave town to be with their families.

I pray to God no one is ever that alone, ever.

So because of that I reach out to those who are in a similar situation. It doesn't make people bad, but you might find they even though they are honestly sad for you, yet they might not make the time to listen. Even my own sister, when I tried to let it out, I would get "Uh huh...uh huh...hold on PUT THAT DOWN...OK what now?"

While I am still around no one will suffer alone. I fight the urge to leave this world daily, it is a fight no medicine will cure, and as you can see I have nothing but more of the same pain ahead of me.

But you don't have to be that way. If you hurt, I am here, you can IM me, I will listen, if you want advice I can give it.

But Fenris, Joy, TStone, don't suffer alone. It is a slow death and you will lose pieces of yourself that will never return. I know that with the right people around in your time of need you can get through it. For me all those people left at once!

They are in a far far better place that us, and will be for eternity. Your suffering is because you want them back here but it doesn't make your pain any less important.

Don't be like me, let it out...don't suffer alone.

[Empty_Purple_Stars]

Originally Posted by AlKilyu

Well since TStone was brave enough to tell of his loss, there is a reason I know a few things about death: I have lost most of my family in the past eight years.

I lost my father in 2000, and three short years later my mother. That was amongst all four grandparents, two aunts, and not counting the cousin I lost this last Christmas I lost one to AIDS a few years ago.

My lovely ex, who I had been with for 10 years, couldn't handle the stress of my mother dying and bailed two months before. After I saw her (my mother) for the last time, my plan was to kill myself. Had it planned out, notes and everything, it was to be that night. But I realized my dog, who was my mother's, had lost everyone she ever knew including our older dog of 16 years who died in the few weeks between my dad's mom dying and my dad. I couldn't let this poor thing exist alone, after all of this so I vowed to stick around for her.

I went home to an empty house, with no one to comfort me. I went the funeral days later, then again, to an empty home. It was summer, you see, and much like Christmas people go on vacations, as they should. When they do that they are happy and leave town to be with their families.

I pray to God no one is ever that alone, ever.


Don't be like me, let it out...don't suffer alone.

We may be whatever it is we are right now, Man..

But for what it's worth I am in tears with Shock, Pride and Admiration for your Courage in sharing your own private Nightmare with everyone here.

If I know nothing else about you, I know what that took for you to share those slices of Hell.

My Admiration.

[AlKilyu]

Thank you. I felt like a dick all these months watching people share their pain and never exposing that part of myself.

All the regulars here have their darkest most private secrets on this board, that part of themselves exposed, everyone on here has their achilles heal exposed, and now I do too.


You can't have a nuclear war, or a war for that matter, if everyone is equally armed.

[edible_eye]

from different points across the earth, we gather to link arms, share our hurt and drop tears together. we fight, we hate, we give each other the finger, we talk, we think and we hug. in an odd way, our interactions are family-like.

it does this old man's heart good to see such selfless and altruisitc outpourings. you people are beautiful, each and every one.

i'll second al's offer. if anyone needs to vent and have an ear available - pm me. otherwise, know that i'm offering a hug to each of you in the hopes of lessening your pain, even if only by a small bit.

http://www.cuddlecards.com/ccimages/...ox-of-hugs.gif

and i'll say this, even though those of you who need to go through the "what if" stages won't be able to take it to heart -

you are not responsible for another person's life. you are not responsible for another person's death. to adopt such a responsibility will always leave you feeling inadequate. to assume such a responsibility will always leave you at a loss. you can not guide someone else when they do not want to be guided. you can not change someone else when they do not want to be changed. and sometimes, when life has left you scarred because of someone else's actions, it's not always so easy to shed that tough skin and enjoy the sensation of touch as though you've been able to feel it all along.

[Tall One In Black]

Originally Posted by Needled

I just really regret having not worn the glasses when I first got them. If I had just wore them then eventually I wouldn't have needed them anymore.. If only I knew then what I know now.

If you have typical myopia (and I assume you do since you said you can see up close but not far away), wearing your glasses wouldn't have improved your vision so that you'd no longer need them. If you're myopic, you're most likely always going to need glasses.

I'm not a doctor, I'm just speaking from my own experience. I got my first glasses at 9 and contacts at 12. (My mom had to practically force the doctor to give contacts to a 12-year-old... but that's how much I hated wearing my glasses.)

You should speak with a teacher or counselor about your vision. There are programs for getting glasses to people who need them. I know because I've donated my old frames!