the random stupuid joke thread

DarkRevalations · 07-21-2007, 08:41 PM

Q. why did the boy fall off the swing?
A. because someone threw a fridge at him

DarkRevalations · 07-21-2007, 08:49 PM

little suzie was in sunday school,
the teacher was very boreing, so little suzie went to sleep
as she was sleeping, the teacher asked her "little suzie, who is the lord?'
little johnny, who sat behind little suzie, decided to be a friend and stabbed her with a pin
'JESUS CHRIST!' shouted little suzie
'very good' said the teacher, and suzie went back to sleep
later, the teacher came back and asked ' who was mary?'
again, little johnny stabbed her
'MOTHER OF GOD!' shouted little suzie
'very good' said the teacher, and little suzie went back to sleep
again the teacher came to little suzie and asked 'what did eve say to adam after their 22nd child?'
again little johnny stabbed suzie, but this time she was ready, and jumped up yelling 'IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, IM GOING TO BREAK IT IN HALF!!!'
the teacher fainted

post all the jokes you know, spread the laughter

Tha Duckman · 07-21-2007, 08:51 PM

I am going to **** you in the mouth.

Get it?

MollyMac · 07-21-2007, 09:10 PM

I would, but I was told not to talk with my mouth full. Good thing you didn't fill it.

Tha Duckman · 07-21-2007, 09:14 PM

A guy can dream, right?

MollyMac · 07-21-2007, 09:18 PM

and a girl can have nightmares. Hot, wet, throbbing nightmares.

Tha Duckman · 07-21-2007, 09:19 PM

Don't make me get the hose.

DarkRevalations · 07-21-2007, 09:24 PM

ive created a monster.........Im so Happy!!!!!!! ^-^

Totschläger · 07-21-2007, 09:36 PM

Mein Gott, a joke thread turning X-rated! Now I have seen everything!

MollyMac · 07-21-2007, 09:40 PM

Being on the ho's, Duck. I can tackle them all, single handedly... just like I am typing.

Cappinator · 07-21-2007, 11:42 PM

Too early on a sunday morning and not enough sleep for stupid jokes... I'll be back.

Tha Duckman · 07-21-2007, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MollyMac

Being on the ho's, Duck. I can tackle them all, single handedly... just like I am typing.

Can we elope?

biohazard · 07-23-2007, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkRevalations

little suzie was in sunday school,
the teacher was very boreing, so little suzie went to sleep
as she was sleeping, the teacher asked her "little suzie, who is the lord?'
little johnny, who sat behind little suzie, decided to be a friend and stabbed her with a pin
'JESUS CHRIST!' shouted little suzie
'very good' said the teacher, and suzie went back to sleep
later, the teacher came back and asked ' who was mary?'
again, little johnny stabbed her
'MOTHER OF GOD!' shouted little suzie
'very good' said the teacher, and little suzie went back to sleep
again the teacher came to little suzie and asked 'what did eve say to adam after their 22nd child?'
again little johnny stabbed suzie, but this time she was ready, and jumped up yelling 'IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, IM GOING TO BREAK IT IN HALF!!!'
the teacher fainted

post all the jokes you know, spread the laughter

Very funny, ^_^. I actually needed a laugh right now, thanks for posting.

Totschläger · 07-23-2007, 03:11 PM

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It escaped from KFC!

Hahaha!

††BlackRose†† · 07-23-2007, 08:39 PM

One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step.
Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.

So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.

So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!"

Shocked, the man says, "Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."

Rae Ven Rae · 07-23-2007, 08:54 PM

A woman got on a city bus one day with her baby. As she stepped on, the driver took one look at the kid and cringed.

"Ooo weeee, lady," He cried, "that is by far, the the ugliest baby I have ever seen."

Insulted, the woman slammed her fare into the collection box and huffed towards a seat

Still upset, she plopped next to a passenger, who noted her distress.

"Ma'am, are you okay?" He asked .

"No I am not! The bus driver just insulted me!"

The man was shocked, "what? How dare he -- he is a civil servant , he's not supposed to be insulting passengers -- I think you should go up there and give him a piece of your mind!"

She thought about it a second, then cried, "You know what? I think I will!"

The man smiled at her, "Great! Here -- let me hold your monkey..."

DeathChii · 07-23-2007, 09:12 PM

Q: Why do jews have big noses?
A: Cause air is free!

hahah lulz, nah it's cool, I can say that cause I'm a jew =P

Tha Duckman · 07-24-2007, 05:32 AM

I think the sentence after the joke was much funnier than the joke itself.

Haunted House · 07-27-2007, 06:52 PM

Q: Why does it cost less to make a coffin for a child?
A: Because children are smaller so the makers use less materials.

Cappinator · 07-27-2007, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rae Ven Rae

The man smiled at her, "Great! Here -- let me hold your monkey..."

Thanks for making me snort water up my nose when I read this!

I should learn not to drink at the very moment of reading the punchline to a joke, really.

Thanks Rae! Good one!