I haven't done this in a while.

[ApothoKeri]

Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus

I like how asshole guys can't keep a job or have friends in your world. Interesting. Anyway, I've found that guys who don't bend over backwards to be 'nice' are perfectly capable of getting married, but at times they don't want to do so, because women are often so willing to cheat on their 'nice husbands'. It's the same situation I described earlier, wherein the 'nice' spouse is a comforting constant and possibly even a source of income, but the extra-curricular asshole is the real source of excitement.



Try it and see.

First off, just because someone is a nice guy does not mean they let people walk all over them. Being kind and respectful of the people you love and being a doormat are not anywhere near exclusive. Second, assholes are not exciting, at least not to me or any of the other women I have ever known...they are simply just assholes and rather boring and redundant at that. Third, I have 'tried' it, I have been married to a very nice, intillegent, creative and gorgeous man for over a decade and would not have it any other way. Why on earth would I want even do much as a temporary partner that did not have such qualities? This is hardly rocket science here people.

[Tam Li Hua]

Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus

I said 'often', not always. I wouldn't say what you described isn't possible, just quite rare.

Perhaps not as rare as you think.

I think a lot of folks get married before they fully realize what marriage entails. [I. E., folks who get married right outside of high school or college.]

[Stormtrooper of Death]

I'm surprised this thread keeps going.

[emeraldlonewoulf]

why? you've touched on an evergreen subject of mankind.

[gothicusmaximus]

Originally Posted by ApothoKeri

First off, just because someone is a nice guy does not mean they let people walk all over them.

Nice = habitually accommodating others at your own expense.

Second, assholes are not exciting, at least not to me or any of the other women I have ever known...

Who do you hang out with? When I say 'asshole' I don't mean the guy who shoots your dog and steals your car, I mean the guy who's always reviled by 'nice guys' for getting all the women, the guy who doesn't prostrate himself before every attractive girl he encounters and instead maintains self-confidence.

they are simply just assholes and rather boring and redundant at that.

Lulz.

Third, I have 'tried' it, I have been married to a very nice, intillegent, creative and gorgeous man for over a decade and would not have it any other way. Why on earth would I want even do much as a temporary partner that did not have such qualities? This is hardly rocket science here people.

Anyway, the 'try it' was directed at Stormtrooper. I'm asking him to, after being 'nice' for quite a while, experiment with douche-tude. I don't think he'll be disappointed.

[Xombie]

Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus

Anyway, the 'try it' was directed at Stormtrooper. I'm asking him to, after being 'nice' for quite a while, experiment with douche-tude. I don't think he'll be disappointed.

I don't want to, but I agree with GM. Personally, I don't go for the "nice guy." Respectful, pleasant to be around, smiles often? I dig that. However, I can't stand the "hopeless romantic" type, nor do I like the "I totally respect females in every single aspect!" type. Don't open the car door for me, don't push my chair in, don't punch a guy just because he was rude to me. I can fend for myself, thanks.
I much prefer a guy who isn't trying to impress me and it's not obvious that he is just ACHING for a girlfriend. Let it flooooow, dude.

[Tam Li Hua]

Healthy self-confidence =/= ass-holery.

Also, there is a difference between an actual nice guy, and a self-declared one; the self-declared one is often a bit too desperate, and more than a little creepy.

The first kind does not feel it necessary to defend himself as a 'nice guy', because he just is one. This type of person is the kind I see as a real man, rather than a boy in a man's body.

[gothicusmaximus]

Originally Posted by Tam Li Hua

Healthy self-confidence =/= ass-holery.

Also, there is a difference between an actual nice guy, and a self-declared one; the self-declared one is often a bit too desperate, and more than a little creepy.

The first kind does not feel it necessary to defend himself as a 'nice guy', because he just is one. This type of person is the kind I see as a real man, rather than a boy in a man's body.

Note that, as I said previously, when I use the term 'asshole' in this context I typically mean the guy who is reviled by his 'nice' peers as 'the jerk' who 'doesn't deserve' all the girls he's fucking because he has a life of his own. For instance,
Girl: "I asked Gothicus Maximus to hang out with me, but he said he didn't feel like it/was too busy being fucking awesome. *dreamy sigh*."
'Nice' Guy: "WAT AN ASSHOLE. HE DOSE NOT DESURV U, MY FARE LADY!"

[Tam Li Hua]

Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus

Note that, as I said previously, when I use the term 'asshole' in this context I typically mean the guy who is reviled by his 'nice' peers as 'the jerk' who 'doesn't deserve' all the girls he's fucking because he has a life of his own. For instance,
Girl: "I asked Gothicus Maximus to hang out with me, but he said he didn't feel like it/was too busy being fucking awesome. *dreamy sigh*."
'Nice' Guy: "WAT AN ASSHOLE. HE DOSE NOT DESURV U, MY FARE LADY!"

I think that kind of mentality tends to not get so many rewards after one enters the real world and one has to fend for oneself.

If someone couldn't hang because they were busy, I'd totally understand. If they didn't because they thought they were too good for me, then the person and myself would have a very big problem.

And it would depend on which of those scenarios was in place as to how I'd react to the 'nice' guy. I think I'd ditch both the ass and the nice, and try to find a healthy, happy sane person, to be honest..

[Sinless]

Originally Posted by Stormtrooper of Death

I really don't get it. I really don't. I've lost 70 pounds and yet I'm still viewed as that kid in the corner. Do all girls like jerks? Am I the only guy left who is a gentlemen? Why? This is really puzzling me. Am I a joke? A parody? Am I ever taken seriouisly by anyone? Or am I that guy that gets laughed at? The way I look at it, there's no point to trying anymore. I will die lonely.

How did you manage to loose 70 pounds? Girls tend to be attracted to jerks, but this is usually because the guys who are jerks are hot. Hot guys feel good about themselves so they don't feel bad about bullying. They'll still have friends due to their looks. It is good that you are a gentleman. Stay that way.

[Pantherlette086]

Originally Posted by Sinless

How did you manage to loose 70 pounds? Girls tend to be attracted to jerks, but this is usually because the guys who are jerks are hot. Hot guys feel good about themselves so they don't feel bad about bullying. They'll still have friends due to their looks. It is good that you are a gentleman. Stay that way.

AGREED. Confidence+ good personality = a catch

[korinna5555]

Originally Posted by Bella Sophia

I have that exact same mindset. I think I repel the opposite sex.

Then become a lesbian!

Originally Posted by Tam Li Hua

I think a lot of folks get married before they fully realize what marriage entails. [I. E., folks who get married right outside of high school or college.]

I take great offense to that statement.

[Stormtrooper of Death]

Sinless: I lost the weight between a number of factors:
1. Stopped eating crappy food.
2. My job = being a mechanic = hard, sweaty, oily, dirty and fun
3. Learning to box and lifting weights.

Again, thanks for all the advice people!

[Apathy's_Child]

People always paint relationships between guys and girls as some form of warfare - the focus on game-playing seems to imply that you practically have to trick someone into being with you. Not to sound like a sap or anything, but it doesn't have to be that way. If it is, it's probably because the person you're involved with is immature beyond belief.

[Underwater Ophelia]

Honestly, I think you need to quit your bitching.

No, girls don't only like assholes, but guess what? Girls don't like guys who would assume a girl would instantly like you because you've lost weight. You said you're a gentleman, but that's just plain insulting to women.

Another thing is this obsession with punk you have. SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT PUNK. Seriously. It's great that you've found something you really enjoy, but it's all you ever talk about, and you seem to dislike things that don't fit the little punk mold.

Broaden your horizons.

[Stormtrooper of Death]

Wow, ok. Geez. Sorry for my bitching, but I felt I had to talk about it. Is that a crime? Yes I do enjoy my music and I like to talk about. But aren't there other people who do that too? I'm not trying to fight with you here. And how is being a gentleman insulting to women?

[Underwater Ophelia]

Being a gentleman wouldn't be insulting to women. You are not a gentleman. It is insulting to women to expect them to suddenly like you because you've lost weight. Maybe it isn't your body that needs work.

[Duane]

Hm, yes. Just because you lose weight, it doesn't mean woman will swarm towards you like they do in an Axe commercial.

[Stormtrooper of Death]

My personality doesn't need work. I'm usually quiet and reserved actually. I really don't see the point of this discussion anymore, I know what I need to do and I will do it.

[Underwater Ophelia]

Yeah, it's probably a stupid idea to listen to me, I mean, I just have a woman's perspective and all.
Oh wait...

[Stormtrooper of Death]

I did listen to you. And I appreciate your opinion. Maybe I do need work..........

[Duane]

Many of us need work... hell, I need alot of work myself.

[KontanKarite]

Originally Posted by Stormtrooper of Death

Ok. Two things. I think that I get the feeling I'm a bit of a laughingstock. You know I love punk right? Well alot of people think I'm a posuer. I do dress the part but I love the music above all. The music is my life. They always say "why don't you have a mohawk and drink beer all the time", frankly I think that that's cliche. I don't need a mohawk and I don't really like beer. Second: I've had this certain thought pattern for the last couple of months. If I die tomorrow would anybody really care? I keep saying to myself that nobody would give a damn. I am after all nothing. I am a tiny dust speck. Sometimes I feel like I should drive my car into a wall at 80 miles an hour and die.

SoD, I like you man. If you were to die tomorrow, I would genuinely feel down about it.

Storm, DO NOT let anyone justify your existence except for you. You're a punk. Plain and simple. In fact, I think you're better than punk. If drinking beer all the time and being a meat headed mohawk sportin' idiot is punk, then why would you want to fall in line with that? What's more punk? Adhering to the rules of what others think is punk or doing your own thing at all times and letting others come to their own conclusions about you?

Next time someone gives you shit about being a punk, tell them this:

"You hide behind a word like it's some kind of empowerment or makes you special. The fact that you want to separate yourself from me or make me feel less of a person is a direct reflection of your desire to be part of something that isn't even worth while. Put down the fucking Ramones and fucking do something with yourself, you sniveling little fuck."

Think about it, Storm. When the world burns and Anarchy reigns, what good is the word punk then?

You've got passion and you're an artist. What more do you need for justification in life? Do what you want. Do it yourself.

[Miss Cogs]

Originally Posted by Bella Sophia

I'm goth

I "pfft" you.

Anyways, Storm. I think your a nice guy and I don't think there is anything worng with your appearance and personality. Actually, infact, I think it's the girls around you, not you. Prehaps there just not that girl yet who can apperciate you for who you are yet. But don't worry, she'll come soon enough. Just keep looking. You'll find your self a punk mate to love.

[Stormtrooper of Death]

Wow Kontan. That's the best thing I've heard, ever. I wrote that down. Thanks.

edit: Thank you very much Miss Cogs. I appreciate all the advice and support everybody has given me.