Quote:
Originally Posted by Noirette
I hoped that I made it clear enough.
Its about changes and hope.
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Silly me, I thought it was about sunny autumn days...
I like the concept alot, though I think the first stanza is wierd. It seems so disconnected with the rest of the poem. Similarly, the formatting makes it look like you're going to have a specific verse for the poem, but then in stanza's 2 and 3 the poem reveals itself to be free-form.
I would delete the last line in stanza 2 as it seems to undercut the entire feeling of the rest of the stanza, and maybe change "That if I were smart enough" to "that if I had the courage" because it seems to me that the narrator is smart enough to travel those fields and does understand how important they are.
Your third stanza is by far the strongest, and I really like the ending.
Kudos.