I miss her - Page 2

Underwater Ophelia · 10-20-2007, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by korinna5555

Thank you, CCT. Thank you, Humane. Thank you, gothicusmaximus.

You know, does age really make a difference how much it hurts? Do any of you realize how much you AREN'T helping? I had thought that at least half of this community was somewhat supportive, but only a handful of you turned out to be truly kind.
I WAS engaged before we found out, it wasn't something that happened afterward. Justin will always take care of me, and we will always love each other. That won't change, and I don't say that lightly.
Since I have no friends at my school, and I don't plan on going to college (I want to be a stay at home mother), I don't see why you can tell me what I am supposedly going to "miss out" on.
None of you know my exact situations, so don't you DARE go making generalizations about how MY child would have been cared for.
Also, I stated quite some time back about what had occurred HERE on Gnet. This is not the first time I have brought this up, and I have spoken to other members privately about this.
The only thing I regret fromt his whole thing is being foolish enough to think that all I would get were people willing to listen. That is all I wanted from this. I don't give a fuck about attention, Ophelia. I wanted people to talk to. Talking helps; I have no friends locally, so I turned to Gnet.

But go ahead. Ridicule me. Claim that is was for attention. Say it's for the best. Say I was too young to love my child.
I am not ashamed, but you all should be.

I don't really understand why you think you can be so rude to me.
1. I said many MANY times I felt bad about what happened to you.
2. Everything I said in my posts was about REALITY, and was based on my concern for both you and the child you would have had.
3. I already apologized for being so mean in my first post.

If you're ignoring these things, you're making it more and more obvious you're not mature enough to handle basic social situations, let alone an entire life.

MollyMac · 10-20-2007, 06:46 PM

Ahem. Found it...

Quote:

Originally Posted by korinna5555

I was almost four weeks..

I knew this was familiar. It was a couple months back in Metabolik's thread about his dead (miscarried) brother-

OK- at four weeks, you are really not likely to know that you are pregnant, and you will NOT know the sex of the child. So, although I do believe you when you say you believe you had a miscarriage, and I feel for you because it sucks...

At four weeks, there is little to no pain, it is like a heavy period.

At four weeks, you will not have known you were pregnant, *especially* if it was unplanned.

At four weeks, there is no perceiveable gender.

Get a grip on the facts of the situation before you attach latent emotions.

disorder · 10-21-2007, 12:04 AM

*hugs*
I'm sorry for your loss.
And I wish you good luck for the future, if ever you get pregnant again

Wormboy · 10-21-2007, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HumanePain

Interesting how society changes what age it thinks is good. During the 1800's, it was quite common in "civilized" societies for 16 year old girls to wed and become mothers, of many children.

yeah because they lived until fourty

Wormboy · 10-21-2007, 12:40 AM

You weren't to young to love your child, but if you are truly the ages people on this board say, you were most certainly too young to have one. Kids should not have kids. End of discussion.

Saddiction · 10-21-2007, 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MollyMac

Ahem. Found it...

I knew this was familiar. It was a couple months back in Metabolik's thread about his dead (miscarried) brother-

OK- at four weeks, you are really not likely to know that you are pregnant, and you will NOT know the sex of the child. So, although I do believe you when you say you believe you had a miscarriage, and I feel for you because it sucks...

At four weeks, there is little to no pain, it is like a heavy period.

At four weeks, you will not have known you were pregnant, *especially* if it was unplanned.

At four weeks, there is no perceiveable gender.

Get a grip on the facts of the situation before you attach latent emotions.

I agree. At 4 weeks it's not even considered a fetus.

Saddiction · 10-21-2007, 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wormboy

You weren't to young to love your child, but if you are truly the ages people on this board say, you were most certainly too young to have one. Kids should not have kids. End of discussion.

I'm 26 and I wouldn't dream of having a kid unless I knew for sure that I could financially support it by myself due to unknown circumstance that the father may or may not stick around. You just never know. Besides, I'd still like to get everything done that I want to do (ie travelling) before making a significant commitment to raise another life.

Crying_Crimson_Tears · 10-21-2007, 08:38 AM

You're welcome sweetie. Some people on this site are too immature to even handle the thought of being pregnant or losing a child. You don't need to worry about them. Always remember that you have supportive friends on here.

MollyMac · 10-21-2007, 08:45 AM

I love a child lectureing about immaturity and miscarriage.

badteccy · 10-21-2007, 08:53 AM

Isn't it great? Oh CCT how we missed (not) you!

MollyMac · 10-21-2007, 08:57 AM

Yea, it was getting too ju-bee drama free. we needed a good tantrum.

LadyLucretia · 10-21-2007, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus

I don't know if we should debate this. I'm sure she's already come to terms with the popular perception that she's an idiot for getting knocked up so young. There's no need to bash her over the head with it now, especially when she feels like shit.
If you think of what she's probably heard from her parents, kids at her high school, even strangers on the street, I think you'll agree that she doesn't need to hear anything from gothicdotnet.

I agree with this.

I think that this is a classic case of people saying things on the internet that they would never DREAM of saying in real life. Maybe they wish they could, but I don't think anyone could actually say in person to someone, "Oh, you had a miscarriage? Well, you're only 17, so it was probably for the best."

Of course everyone has a right to their opinion, but I don't see why the same tact that applies in real life goes out the door on the internet. I don't see why every opinion someone has must be expressed verbatim - if your opinion is only going to make a situation worse, or more painful, then what good is it to express it? Is the satisfaction of free speech worth rubbing someone's face in a trauma?

I used to be one of these "say whatever I'm really thinking" types online. I offended a lot of people with my honesty, and I stood by it when confronted in person. But I realized eventually that I was causing a lot of unnecessary hurt to people who weren't as thick skinned as I was, and that I wasn't gaining anything by putting my honest, uncensored opinions out there except a lot of enemies. So now I actually make an effort to be tactful, and think of how I would handle things in person before I start typing. I think that has more to do with maturity than censorship.

It's easy to feel really big because you "tell it like it is" and can take it when others do the same. But all you're doing is developing a confrontational, aggressive style that will NEVER work for you in the real world, and ultimately does more harm than good.

korinna5555 · 10-24-2007, 08:12 AM

Molly-
I KNEW for four weeks. I bonded with that child, and loved it more than anything, except its father. I wanted a girl, so I say it was a girl. When I lost her, it hurt more than anything else I have ever experienced. It felt like someone was ripping me apart. I bled for almost two weeks, the first week so heavily I thought I would have to go to the hospital. I know my facts; my mother is an OB/nursery nurse and has been for over 20 years. I grew up knowing quite a bit.

CCT-
Don't listen to them. I really appreciate your friendship and you understanding.

Disorder-
Thank you for the sympathy, and I do plan to have another child in about three years. Justin and I have talked about it quite a bit, and want one as soon as we are more financially stable.

Lucretia-
I know what you mean.. I still never thought that people would say the things they did. All I really wanted out of this thread was some understanding people to talk to, because the talking helps.

Humane-
I must say.. thanks again for all your support through this.