Help with school essay

disorder · 07-25-2008, 04:40 AM

At school, we're doing a big personal inquiry thing in English, and part of it is to write an essay. My question is 'Has modern technology killed romance?', and I was just wondering if anyone has any pointers for things I could put in my essay.

Any help would be greatly appreciated

MitsyMayhem · 07-25-2008, 04:44 AM

Ooh!
I wrote about this topic in 8th grade.
My opinion is that it hasn't killed romance, changed it for sure. Romance just keeps up with the times. Something that we do now wouldn't at all be considered romantic 50 years ago. Some classic forms have faded, but I don't mind it too much.

What's you're answer to this question first?
You have to take a side before you even write anyway.

disorder · 07-26-2008, 01:48 AM

My thoughts were the same as yours, that it's not dead, just changed from it's traditional/classic form.

MitsyMayhem · 07-26-2008, 05:10 AM

Well for starters, for teenagers at least, a lot of girls like to get small text messages. No joke. Like "Thinking bout u" and stuff. My friend Shelby lights up whenever she gets one. It's makes her so happy.

Not to mention music. I had a BF who made me a CD of strictly goth music, even though he wasn't too into it, simply because he liked me. It was an expression that showed that he wanted to get to know me better and he didn't care if we were different at all.

Then let's see...guitar. I had a boy, named Michael who would plat songs from me on his guitar and they were so beautiful and he'd sing and stuff.

I hope it's not too late the write it, but yeah, those are just some examples. =]

JCC · 07-26-2008, 05:14 AM

I think that text messages like the example you gave are the death of romance, formulaic non-felt 'sweet' garbage from the mouth of liars. I don't think that romance has been killed by technology really, but for the love of God, don't use the new surge in deceitful 'Myspace love' as a basis for saying it's still around.

MitsyMayhem · 07-26-2008, 05:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JCC

I think that text messages like the example you gave are the death of romance, formulaic non-felt 'sweet' garbage from the mouth of liars. I don't think that romance has been killed by technology really, but for the love of God, don't use the new surge in deceitful 'Myspace love' as a basis for saying it's still around.

Well, let's start from the beginning shall we? What is romance anyway? I believe romance is the concoction of an atmosphere where were a woman (or other partner) feels unconditional love and appreciation. Something as simple as handing a girl a wild flower in a park can be romantic because what is she feeling , love and appreciated it. And yes, there are liars out there than can just send text, but there's also liars who can give flowers, and chocolates and whatever else. It's not like deceit had just sprung from some unknown source, it's been around from years. So, back to what I was saying. In the situation above, my friend Shelby feels 'loved', 'appreciated', and 'thought of'. So in my opinion it cane be counted a form of romance, whether a person thinks it's romantic or not is up too them. Basically, it's all up to the perception of the individual. Some girls may think long walks on the beach are corny and not romantic while other girls will swoon.

JCC · 07-26-2008, 11:36 AM

The most logical answer would be that romance as with most things is subjective, and therefore the only death of romance can transpire in the minds of people, rather than being gone forever, just as it can be reinterpreted.

HumanePain · 07-26-2008, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MitsyMayhem

Well, let's start from the beginning shall we? What is romance anyway? I believe romance is the concoction of an atmosphere where were a woman (or other partner) feels unconditional love and appreciation. Something as simple as handing a girl a wild flower in a park can be romantic because what is she feeling , love and appreciated it. And yes, there are liars out there than can just send text, but there's also liars who can give flowers, and chocolates and whatever else. It's not like deceit had just sprung from some unknown source, it's been around from years. So, back to what I was saying. In the situation above, my friend Shelby feels 'loved', 'appreciated', and 'thought of'. So in my opinion it cane be counted a form of romance, whether a person thinks it's romantic or not is up too them. Basically, it's all up to the perception of the individual. Some girls may think long walks on the beach are corny and not romantic while other girls will swoon.

Well said!

My observations of technology used for romance:

a) Cell phones. My son and his girlfriend at the time would be on the phone for hours, but barely saying anything, and I even found him asleep at times with the phone next to his ear; just having a connection with each other was
almost like being together in person.

b) Internet: My son loves sending and getting comments on myspace with little animated hearts, kisses etc. It serves the same purpose as letters did in olden days. It shrinks the world too. My daughter's boyfriend's divorced mother met a guy online from Morocco, they exchanged email and pictures for a year and she finally flew to Morocco, met him, and they came back to the U.S. and got married. In olden days she would have had to select a mate from her surrounding geography, now the gene pool has become global.

c) DVDs: Now instead of going to the movies, my daughter and her boyfriend would watch DVDs, cheaper.

JCC · 07-26-2008, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HumanePain

My son loves sending and getting comments on myspace with little animated hearts, kisses etc.

That is what represents the death of romance to me. So, I guess it IS subjective.

Raptor · 07-26-2008, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JCC

That is what represents the death of romance to me.

Because of the lack of creativity and effort?

Letters can be romantic, so with enough thought I suppose an email or whatever could be too. I agree about all the animated shit though, and I doubt many people actually put much thought into myspace comments.

JCC · 07-26-2008, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raptor

Because of the lack of creativity and effort?

Yeah, it's romance by numbers, which isn't romance at all.

Raptor · 07-26-2008, 02:02 PM

Agreed for all of those short generic messages.

If something has taken time and effort to type then you can still have romance online. But I can't say I've seen much of that.

thekorupt · 07-26-2008, 09:46 PM

I see JCC's point here... My husband sent me ecards all the time when we were dating. The cards weren't romantic. They were just a hallmark gimmick. But the note at the end that he spent time and wrote WAS romantic. He never wrote "love, jon". He actually wrote a letter about how much I meant to him.

Romance is directly proportional to effort. Did that person go out of their way to make you feel special? Then its romantic. I don't consider text messages romantic from someone who texts people 800 times a day. Jon does not EVER use his phone. Seriously. He didnt have a phone until he started dating me. He doesnt text anyone. So for him to text me is sweet.

I think what is fading from society is courtship. No one courts each other any more. No one pursues each other anymore. And worse.. once they are committed, be it marriage, or whatever committment they choose, they STOP pursuing their mate! Thats ridiculous. Thats how people end up feeling "gotten". Like they are a toy that a little kid is used to and no longer excited about.

In our society, people only want something until they get it, then they want something else. They are never content. We have murdered the concept of security. Why wouldn't security be dead? The "other woman" or the "other man" is one keystroke away. And if you dont want to leave for someone else, then some slut on a webcam is a click away, fufilling a need that should be being met by your significant other. Yeah. No wonder no one trusts their spouse.

I still court my husband. I want him to know he is still wanted. He does the same for me.

Technology hasn't killed romance. People treating others as objects and never being content with what they have has. The truth is, technology has just made killing romance very very convienient.

Tea and Cake or Death · 07-26-2008, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JCC

Yeah, it's romance by numbers, which isn't romance at all.

Ooh. I agree with what you just said. How hard is it to cut & paste an image link? But a person can use both the old and new ways. But since everyone uses the new ways so much it puts a more romantic meaning on the old. I mean, I'd love to get a written love letter more than I would an email because of the time involved. Its more personal. The persons hand writing is another element that is romantic for me. It's almost another element of them. Plus it shows he took an effort. I have a friend in Germany who writes me long emails that go on for days. However, when she writes a letter it's quite short. I asked her why, and she said that she doesn't write with pen and paper that often, & so it hurts her hands. I've gotten that answer from others as well. So, considering the fact that hardly anyone actually writes anymore, I think the gesture would be MORE romantic now than before. But a lovely email is nice too. I say take what we have already established as romantic, and add to it.

Disaffected Shoelaces · 07-27-2008, 05:57 AM

I wouldn't say modern technology has killed romance per se. It may have invited laziness, as others have delineated, but if you ask me there are far bigger factors in the decline of romance.

Postmodernism, for example. The decline of traditional attitudes and the modern fashion for irony and piss-taking, deconstruction of ideas like romance. Even the modern visibility of anti-domestic violence campaigns etc. can be seen to have added a suspicious dimension to our view of love (note - this is my personal view based mainly on anecdotal evidence). The shift from the older "expect little, forgive much" approach to marriage, to the modern "if your needs aren't being met, kick him/her to the kerb", helped along by the destigmatization of divorce. We're generally more suspicious and less tolerant in relationships nowadays.

I probably sound like I think this is a bad thing - I don't. It is what it is, and there are huge benefits. It's my opinion that technology is simply the focus of our modern lament that romance is dying, when it's nothing more than the medium through which we communicate when we're not physically together.

Underwater Ophelia · 07-27-2008, 01:47 PM

I think lazy people kill romance for themselves. Technology can't be to blame.

Example: When I have a lover, I write to him or her with a quill pen on parchment paper. I bring flowers, bathe him or her by candlelight...all that.

Technology has killed nothing for me, because I choose to be romantic without it.

However, if you think up a really heartfelt and unique sentiment and send it to a lover via text, who's to say it isn't just as romantic as writing it out with a dip pen?