Rant Thread - Page 165

††BlackRose†† · 07-20-2007, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HumanePain

Don't let her unload her problem on you and make it your problem. I don't enjoy saying this, but you should try and insulate yourself from your mother, emotionally speaking, then she will learn that she can no longer blame you for her regretful choices.

Thanks. I know I should start doing that, a lot of people tell me to stop listening to her and what she says. Honestly I try to but the thing is that she starts saying things like "go commit suicide, go kill yourself" and shit like that. Its just that she tends to piss me off. But yes i will try not to listen 2 her.

biohazard · 07-21-2007, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ††BlackRose††

This is about my mother.

WTF is wrong with my damn mother!!! There must be something wrong with her mentally... well at times it seems like it. Here's the problem: we are running into a really little bit financial difficulty (not too big of a deal atm) and we decided moving into a smaller house would be a better idea. Everything was fine n we even saw a house we liked!!!

THen mother saw an easy decision and thought "how should i complicate things once again?". Now she's making everyone go on a guilt trup saying things like "we shouldn't have bought a house", "we haven't enjoyed this house yet", basically to me and my sister saying "your fault, your fault, you don't care, blah, blah, blah..."
WE MADE A DAMN DECISION DON'T FUCK IT UP!!!! I hate when she does that!! And because of her being my mother, she knows what to say to make us upset and shit.

Then she said something i got pissed at : "It's only your fault, why can't you give up something. In life we need to make sacrifices. You guys are so stubborn." Look the thing is that we have been giving up EVERY FUCKING THING ever since we were little children playing with dolls. i gave up my entire life, every single part of it almost 4 times over!!! Is that not good enough 4 a sacrifice???

The worst thing is that she is my mother and I feel that in my 16 years of this life, she has failed to understand me as a person. I know this as a fact. She has been the cause to a lot of my problems and yet she thinks she's a "perfect mother".

Okay I think that's enough for now, but I do have A LOT more to say about her.

I remember you spoke to me about this before, but I did not quite understand the situation. I am very sorry your mom did that to you and your sister. Some parents can find it very hard to understand their kids. My parents are the same, they do not understand me, and I no longer expect them to. I simply ignore their remarks on small things. You should try to ignore what your mother says, and try to find some way to escape the reality. Try to pass time with your friends, and convinve them to let you go to places with them. You have the right to be a happy person.

You have told me that you want to have an independent life, without her, but to do so you must also learn to live by yourself. I suggest you get a part-time job during vacations, so you can start earning some money. I also hope you can go study as far away as possible from them when you leave for university. And if you need to whine or talk to someone, remember I will always listen, and try my best to understand you.

Splintered · 07-22-2007, 10:37 AM

I feel sad.
My girlfriend is going tobe going away for a week, and I already miss her.

Blah. I hate emotions like this.

Solumina · 07-22-2007, 05:43 PM

I know that being away from loved ones is hard but it will be okay. Just call when you can and make an effort to be positive when you talk (nothing sucks more than waiting all day to talk to your boyfriend just to listen to him bitch about how everything suck)

Aaroneet · 07-22-2007, 05:48 PM

And just keep her in your thoughts; try to make it seem as though she's with you even if she isn't. The point of relationships is that they can withstand distance, at least from my understanding.

Solumina · 07-22-2007, 06:49 PM

and always remember that as hard as being apart it it makes it that much better when you do get to be together again ^.~

honeythorn · 07-22-2007, 06:52 PM

Ok this has been building up since Friday and it is pissing me off.

I work in a box factory. I am learning to set the machines. Ok? So, there I am setting a machine up. I manage to do it and get the boxes coming off nicely, no false edges, no turned up corners ect. I am just starting on the glue ( for the paper that covers the boxes ) when OH! Here comes the MD to look at the machine. At first I think he is checking my work but oh no. He calls over the line manager Ray. Now, Ray is a fantastically annoying and exasperating person at the best of times. He is short tempered and easily frustrated. I swear to the gods he will give himself either a heart attack or a nervous breakdown within the next 3 months or so...anyway. Over he comes, chewing his fingernails, stressed Eric vein pounding on his brow. They start bollocking on and on and poking the end roller that I have set so nicely.

What happens next I hear you say?

Jim ( MD ) and Ray then call over Dave, (a colleauge of mine who is helping to train me) and then instruct him to UNDO THE ROLLER THAT I HAVE SPENT FOREVER SETTING ! They then take over an hour to inspect it and decide that they want to alter it or cut a bit off the big metal slider or something. WHY they chose to embark on this engineering mission AFTER I HAD SET THE FUCKING MACHINE I cannot fathom. There was plenty of time to do this when the previous job ended , and before I had set that end of the machine at the very least.

After Jim had buggered off back into his nice comfortable office, Ray comes scuttling over like an oversized puce coloured lobster in a shirt and tie, and utters the following in his high pitched whine..." Can you get this machine running quickly there's hardly any work left on the packing ".

WHAT THE SHITTING HELL?

If I am not mistaken, an hour previously the machine WAS READY TO GO! but oh no, they just HAD to come over and take the fucking thing apart, IGNORING the fact that I had been farting about trying to get the bastard thing to produce a halfway decent box. How DARE he come over and insinuate in tone and attitude, that I am in some way being slow! And that the lack of work on packing is in some way MY fault!!! I nearly blew a gasket there and then. Even Cory who was setting the other part of the machine ( there are two machines that are linked, one actually makes the box, the other puts the cover on ) was pissed off.

To vent a little of my anger I had to console myself with lifting yet more heavy wooden pallettes and boxes of glue made of cow ,and muttering darkly that I would very much enjoy ramming a spanner into Ray's left eye and attatching Jim to the big card guillotine.

Fucking assholes.

HumanePain · 07-22-2007, 08:24 PM

Claire, if I were you, I would let those bastards know that you have axes and swords hanging on the walls of your room, and that you love to and know how to use them. Ray is obviously incompetent, which is made even more apparent by his feeble minded attempt to blame his mistake on you. Incompetent idiots, the lot of them.

Splintered · 07-22-2007, 08:40 PM

They sound retarded, honestly. I hate questioning my boss because usually he has something going right, but sometimes, you just have to grab people by the balls and let them know it's going right.

††BlackRose†† · 07-22-2007, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by biohazard

I remember you spoke to me about this before, but I did not quite understand the situation. I am very sorry your mom did that to you and your sister. Some parents can find it very hard to understand their kids. My parents are the same, they do not understand me, and I no longer expect them to. I simply ignore their remarks on small things. You should try to ignore what your mother says, and try to find some way to escape the reality. Try to pass time with your friends, and convinve them to let you go to places with them. You have the right to be a happy person.

You have told me that you want to have an independent life, without her, but to do so you must also learn to live by yourself. I suggest you get a part-time job during vacations, so you can start earning some money. I also hope you can go study as far away as possible from them when you leave for university. And if you need to whine or talk to someone, remember I will always listen, and try my best to understand you.

Aww thank you!!!!!!
My music helps a lot and I do try to ignore her as much as i can. I plan on to move far away from them, and even if i don't go too far then I know that I won't want to visit them often.

I plan on getting a job soon. I told you about my plan of trying to get into a co-op university.

Thank you so much. I will also be here if you ever wish to talk to someone about anything.

raggedyanne · 07-23-2007, 01:24 AM

I love to surf. But I also hate tanning and I tan really easily. Last week some friends and I camped out near santa cruz and surfed and kayaked and all that fun stuff. All weekend I was either in long shorts, board shorts, or a wet suit; and I burned the backs of my knees. So I get home and find out that not only did my face and arms and back get REALLY tan, I have terrible tan lines! I mean that I am tan from the knees down, and WHITE wherever the shorts covered. This means that I can't show any skin for the rest of summer if I want to be pale by the star of school! Grr.

Tismine · 07-23-2007, 03:04 PM

...
I wanted candy today, so I went to the mall, because they have a lovely candy store.
While I was there, some teenagers walked in. They had on Tripp pants and the like, with smeary black lipstick and white paint. Soo they were talking about how Marilyn Manson was "like the lord of goth." Ok, I'm in a good mood, so I stay silent. Then they start MAKING FUN OF ME because I have scars on my arms and a bracelet from the local psychiatrist around my wrist.
HERE'S A HINT: Don't antagonize the crazy people! WE BITE!
So I start bitching at them for it. And then they say I can't talk, because I'm obviously not a "real goth". Their reasoning? They've never seen me at the local Hot Topic.
...
What. the. Fuck.
I started laughing, which got me looks, because my laugh isn't exactly sane. Then I threw my recently purchased Jelly Beans on them and skipped away.

I miss those Jelly Beans.

Solumina · 07-23-2007, 03:07 PM

Sorry you don't have your Jelly Beans, those things are damn tasty

Aaroneet · 07-23-2007, 03:11 PM

I guess all I can say is that patience is key...

Splintered · 07-23-2007, 04:46 PM

I hate boot camps.
To be more specific, I hate boot camps that are 'required' for anything that doesn't involve the military. It doesn't matter if you're a Boy Scout or in some kind of band, any type of boot camp gets me so enraged and so terrified of my own thoughts, that I swear they are what brings me closest to a mental breakdown.

I've been to two before. 1 of them I went voluntary and happy, the other I had to be dragged crying to, because I had to go to it.

The first time I went, I was expecting this thing to be structured and not run by little kids. Being in cadets, I thought this was going to be such a pleasant experience for me, and while it would be tough, it would help me develope myself.

By the first night, I was shaking in terror. They yelled, screamed, and threatened me, even when they had said they weren't going to do that. They threatend, and nearly carried out, threats to make us do pushups 'til we collapse. One cadet threatened to take a knife and slice off parts of our clothing if they didn't meet standards.

They said they wouldn't threaten us, and they wouldn't terrify us. Yet at the end of the day, I was considering running away, or attacking some of the instructors.

These were 16 year old kids who thought that they were G.I. Fucking Joe, and had every fucking right to torture us all they felt like. Just thinking about them makes my body tense up, and I harbor such an anger at them. I hold a promise to myself that if I ever see one of them walking down the street, they won't keep walking.

By the end of the third day, I had a migraine (Which they accused me of faking), I was vomiting violently from pure terror (Which they accused me of faking again), I was dehydrated and had heat exhaustion (Once again, accused me of faking that too), and I collapsed several times in private because I was afraid to do it in public, because they might yell at me.

It turned out that I had a migraine, and I had heat exhaustion at the same time. Combined with the raw terror and hate that I experienced from them, I never, ever wanted to see another boot camp again. I quit the local group that I was apart of, and went to another one because I couldn't bear to see those officers again. I didn't attend the 'advanced' course, even though they said it would be mostly paperwork (which they said about the first one too).

Then, the next summer I went to a one week boot camp. This was the 'big thing', the 'real deal'. Unlike the previous three day camp, this one was sure to have been run by adults who knew what they were talking about, and would recognize physical symptoms, and give me a break if the migraines returned.

(The proof I had that they triggered the migraines, was that after I quit the organization, I stopped having migraines, even when I stopped my medication.)

The night before I went to the camp, I was literally shaking from the fear from the memories of the last camp. That night, I also had nightmares and was constantly in a cold sweat. I couldn't sleep, and I was terrified of what was going to happen to me. During the shower, I shook and puked.

The only reason I showed up to that damned camp, was because my parents had spent $200 some dollars on the camp, and they really wanted me to go. I knew that money was really tight, and I couldn't do that to them. (The camp wouldn't give refunds.)

When I got to the camp, I saw some of the same kids directing other cadets. I knew deep down in my gut (And learned out later from other cadets) that it was exactly like the three day camp I had been too before. It was the same atmosphere, the same thought process, the same everything. The only difference was that this was more official, and bigger.

They searched our stuff, and proceeded to yell at us for the next half hour, about every single mistake we had made. There was no mercy in their eyes, and they made as many derogatory comments as possible. The first hour, I had fell over on the inside of my foot and hurt it. I also had the migraine return. Yet, they made us run mile after mile, and march hour after hour. I began vomiting and puking that night. I didn't sleep that night, and by the beginning of the second day, I knew I couldn't stay there.

So, I went to the medical tent, and managed to convince them I was really sick by vomiting, and was allowed to leave. My parents didn't yell at me, but I knew they were angry at me. I could see it in their eyes that they hated the fact that I was sick, because it was costing them money. They hated me.

I haven't really talked about this camp since then, mainly because I was allowed to forget it. At least, I've never talked about it in enough detail that I had to remember it. Even writing this is really hard, because I do not want to remember this fucking camp ever again. I want to burn the place down to the ground, just to know no one will ever suffer that again.

This was nearly two years ago, and I haven't forgotten it. I seriously, haven't forgotten a second of that damned camp, and I can't seem to get over it. Knowing my girlfriend is at a band camp right now is wreaking even more havoc in my mind, because I can just imagine her being subjected to the same thing.

I don't know how to move on from this. It's something that still gives me nightmares, and yet I can't find some to move on from this. It's been two years since it happend, and I still feel the same terror just thinking about what they did.

How do I get past this?

Alaizabel Cray · 07-23-2007, 08:30 PM

Man, Splintered, I'm sorry your camp experiences have been so horrible. Even so-called "boot camps" are still supposed to have an element of fun to them. At the very least, the kids are supposed to feel safe. I know I don't exactly know you, but this actually pisses me off that those counselors would do that to you.

I'm fairly positive though, band camp is not boot camp. Your girlfriend's biggest worries are likely to be no more than missing you and her family, and maybe being annoyed at the kid in the top bunk who likes to lean over the side and pretend to throw up. Can she send letters while she's there? Maybe next time she's off at camp, she can bring some paper and envelopes and send you a letter or two to let you know she's being treated fairly.

As far as "getting past this", I might suggest finding a way to have a positive camp experience. Maybe try a day camp deal at first, one of those things where you learn how to ride a horse, or go on nature hikes to learn about the area and how to read trail signs. You'll be dealing with the counselors still, but you get to go home at the end of the day. And no one's making you go back the next morning. If something like that works out, you could then try a sleepaway camp. Talk to friends who have gone, find out which ones are supposed to be the most fun, there are a lot of different programs out there for all ages and all kinds of people. And it's all voluntary. Once you know firsthand that camp isn't always such a negative experience, the thought won't frighten you as much and you can relax a bit.

Also, have you talked to a doctor about the possibility of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder? I'm no psychiatrist, but I think being so scared two years after the fact points to things being a bit more serious.

I wish you the best of luck in working through this, buddy.

raggedyanne · 07-24-2007, 11:54 PM

I relapsed. I haven't been seeing my therapist during the summer. I just got really stressed and the next thing I know I have blood dripping down my arm. Self-disgust is too light a word to describe my feelings right now.

Splintered · 07-25-2007, 02:47 PM

Remember Raggedyanne, it took Thomas Edison over 1,000 prototypes to make one single lightbulb. It is not that we stumble and falter that counts, it's how we can pick ourselves up.

I'm not high on encouraging words, but those always seem to cheer me up.

Minyaliel · 07-25-2007, 03:22 PM

I THINK I MIGHT JUST GO INSANE VERY VERY SOON.... *heavy, angry breathing* The teenaged son of my upstairs neighbour's home alone. No, not alone. He's having a fucking party. They're loud. And the party has lasted for a week now without interruptions. And now they're playing "Teenage Dirtbag" and Britney Spears remixes. One more night and I'm damn well going to call the police...! Roaaaaarrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

Aaroneet · 07-25-2007, 03:24 PM

Yikes...my sympathies. Hope the music dies down soon.

Vyvian Blackthorne · 07-25-2007, 03:31 PM

Gosh.

Oh, that's bad. Sorry about that. I think you should post a picture of Bald-headed Britney on your door.
Goth Forever

raggedyanne · 07-25-2007, 11:07 PM

Ooh, good one. Or use my method; post a picture of a scowling mountain lion on your door. Though if you don't like his music, use my dad's trick. Blast the 1812 overture so loud that when the cannons boom, the room shakes. They usually get the message after that.

And yes, he seriously did that to me once. It was Mastadon, creepy old man, not Manson!

Alaizabel Cray · 07-26-2007, 12:59 AM

Goodness, Minyaliel, sorry to hear that. My neighbors are pretty good about parties thank god, but at the old house, we lived next door to some crazy teenagers. I was 3, had literally just gotten home from the hospital recovering from a nasty kidney infection, and they were so loud that I couldn't sleep. So my mom, 7 months pregnant at the time and needing sleep herself, actually went next door and just politely asked them to quiet down. Didn't yell or anything. Whoever answered the door just took one look at her, and one look at me, and decided that maybe we needed the sleep more than they needed their music to be deafening.

So my advice to you is this: fake a severe illness. A highly contagious one. Causing you to cough loudly and nearly barf on the kid, all because he wouldn't let you sleep and thus leave him alone. If he doesn't turn the music down, you wait until it's after curfew (10 pm where I live) and then call the police. If it's before curfew, the cops can't do anything about it. Good luck!

HumanePain · 07-26-2007, 06:01 AM

I just got a speeding ticket on the way into work this morning. Bleah.

honeythorn · 07-26-2007, 06:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Minyaliel

I THINK I MIGHT JUST GO INSANE VERY VERY SOON.... *heavy, angry breathing* The teenaged son of my upstairs neighbour's home alone. No, not alone. He's having a fucking party. They're loud. And the party has lasted for a week now without interruptions. And now they're playing "Teenage Dirtbag" and Britney Spears remixes. One more night and I'm damn well going to call the police...! Roaaaaarrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

*Hands you the biggest axe in the collection and retreats quietly *