I need Advice

[Opteron_Man]

I have a neigbour that is a dangerous character. I live above him.
I don't know his real name, only the nick name he goes by.
In trying to make friends, when he moved in I introduced myself and became friendly with him. Big mistake. I found out that this guy has been in and out of prison most of his life. He has a criminal record longer then my arm in violent and nasty crimes. He came to me and persuaded me to loan him $10 bucks for food. He promised to pay me back on the first of the coming month.
He didn't. So I just mentioned it to him gently over a period of two weeks.
I wasn't calling them every day and demanding it, I was asking any time I saw him or talked to him, which wasn't very much. Being a nice guy I had also been loaning him my 18 speed bike.

This guy has a nasty potentially bloody temper, so one day his sister called me (where did they get my number?) and asked me if I could loan them my bike. I said I would rather not. She acted like I had betrayed them. I made the mistake to ask about the cash, and I heard him scream that I will get it and I can shove it up my ass!!!! I heard smashing thing downstairs and it sounded like he was slamming doors off their frames down there! I said fine he can borrow my bike that I will be right down with the key.

I went down and knocked. The fucker launches out of the door and gets up in my face while screaming at the top of his lungs saying that I have been dogging them for that $10 dollars constantly (I have not) and if I bothered his sister again he would kill me (go for a walk and he would be the only one coming back). I said whoa, I just came down to give you the key; I have treated you nice and gave you extra food, that I don't deserve this treatment at all! He turned around and slammed the door in my face. Remember this guy is bigger then me. I am 5' 4" @ 112 LBS. I was scared. I didn't know what this ex-con was capable of, I still don't. I told him before he slammed the door that he can keep the $$, don't worry about it. Between Gnet and me, I don't think $10 is worth getting stabbed/shot over.

Latter on, he came to me and apologized and told me he has a special violent temper disorder that he takes meds for. I don't remember the name he said.
I told him that I have a bad history of loaning shit out to people and it comes back fucked up or never gets back at all. I told him that I don't want to loan him my bike to him any more. He said okay. Some time later, he asked me if he could borrow it for an emergency. I agreed. Now it is back to the way it was. Him borrowing my bike over and over again. He sold his bike and now he uses mine. I worked hard to earn this bike. I got it for ME! And only ME!

I went camping with family and I let him borrow it while I was gone. He gave it back saying a bolt is missing on a brake lever. Whatever, I just left not caring to go with my family. When I got back, I looked at the brake lever, it is fucked! The plastic is broken, and now the damn thing needs replacing! You see, this is why I hate loaning stuff out! I had it locked to our step and he had the key. I knocked on the door and he didn't answer. I was still pissed about the lever damage, and now I can't ride my bike when I want to cause I cant get the key back, I own it now I can't ride it when I want to!? I went to my toolbox and got a hammer and cold chisel then chopped the security cable off and carried the bike up my stairs and stuck the bike in my living room behind the couch. He won't pay for the new brake lever, and I am broke.
It isn't my problem that he had to sell his bike. I worked my ass off to earn this bike; I didn't get it for anybody but myself. I want to wear it out! If something breaks, I want to be the one to break it. I am so pissed about that brake lever! That bike NEVER gave me a single problem when I used it. Not the brake lever is fucked and the rear carrier over the back wheel is broken!

My problem is that I can’t just tell him to fuck off and buy his own bike or no you can't borrow my stuff, because I am afraid of getting sliced to pieces.
This gut stabbed people and grew up in Toronto and various jails. If he had been the average Joe, I would have looked him strate in the eye and told him to piss off and not ask me to borrow nothing. I can never deal with hard case badass criminal types. This guy could try to kill me in a fit of insane rage.

On top of that, he is big and I am tiny. I don't know what to do here Gnet!
Help me!

[Opteron_Man]

I bought an extra two speakers for my sterio system to go behind me. That way I have Quadrophonic sound. I am so afraid that I am nervious about playing music during the day and disturbing him and his sister. Hell I have stood toe to toe with bigger men and puched a bigger guy in the face, but this guy could go further then puch me back and stab be though the heart or neck! It shouldn't be my problem that the two losers down there like to sleep in till 1:00 PM! I want to enjoy my new sterio. I shouldn;t have to worry about going out to get the morning mail and getting my head chopped open! I won't play it before 9:00 AM and not after 10:00 PM. The bass is powerfull and I know it could provoke him. So what? do I thow my whole system in the trash!?

Sorry about my spelling, I lost my glasses and now I am nearly blind.
Oh and sorry about being a whiny baby, but I am petite and I am worried about the kind of damage he could do to me before the cops get here!

[Opteron_Man]

I bought an extra two speakers for my sterio system to go behind me. That way I have Quadrophonic sound. I am so afraid that I am nervious about playing music during the day and disturbing him and his sister. Hell I have stood toe to toe with bigger men and puched a bigger guy in the face, but this guy could go further then puch me back and stab be though the heart or neck! It shouldn't be my problem that the two losers down there like to sleep in till 1:00 PM! I want to enjoy my new sterio. I shouldn;t have to worry about going out to get the morning mail and getting my head chopped open! I won't play it before 9:00 AM and not after 10:00 PM. The bass is powerfull and I know it could provoke him. So what? do I thow my whole system in the trash!?

Sorry about my spelling, I lost my glasses and now I am nearly blind.

Oh and sorry about being a whiny baby, but I am petite and I am worried about the kind of damage he could do to me before the cops get here!

[Opteron_Man]

Goddamn it! I am 22. He is 34 I think. I fell threatened like I was in highschool with the bullies! Only this time I could die!

[Opteron_Man]

Fuck! all day on certain days of the week, I can hear him screaming bloody murder and smashing stuff down there! He slams the front door so hard that he makes the coffe in my cup tremble! He sounds like he is dropping an engine on the floor down there!

[Zenit]

No, you move! Or isolate your apartment and yourself...

Seriously dude, get out while you can, it will only get worse...

[Opteron_Man]

Originally Posted by Zenit

No, you move! Or isolate your apartment and yourself...

Seriously dude, get out while you can, it will only get worse...

If only he was just an average asshole! He had to be a violent ex-con!

[honeythorn]

Leave your bike at a trusted friend's house and tell him you've sold it. He can't borrow something you don't have . If you can't move then re-inforce your doors and windows if you can. Also, take up some form of martial art if possible. They will teach you how to handle people larger than yourself, and I am sure many will offer instruction on how to disarm an armed opponent. You just need to look into the right one.

If he asks to borrow stuff, make sure the things he usually asks for are well hidden, and tell him you no longer have it/them If he asks for money tell him you have none to spare.

[Solumina]

I would really try and get away as soon as you can, in the mean time just tell him that since last time you let him borrow your bike something broke and since you know that he doesn't have the money to fix things then you would rather not let him borrow your stuff anymore. Be calm and amiable but firm.

[Splintered]

Originally Posted by honeythorn

Also, take up some form of martial art if possible. They will teach you how to handle people larger than yourself, and I am sure many will offer instruction on how to disarm an armed opponent. You just need to look into the right one.

You have a few choices if you want to pick up a martial art, for pure self-defense.

Krav Maga is the most brutal method that I know of. It's the one that most police officers are trained in, and most countries use to train their soldiers with (MCMAP borrows some principles from Krav Maga). It was developed by the Israeli Defense Forces. Any good Krav Maga program will teach you how to disarm an opponent.

Judo is also another pretty effective martial art. It's more traditional, and less combat based, but it's pretty useful to know. I believe it has good components that deal with how to use a bigger opponent's energy against them.

Aikido learns a lot about balance and control. However, I've never seen it personally in action.

Finally, my favorite Martial Art, .45 Caliber. A gun can do hundreds of things that martial arts couldn't hope to do. It may be a good idea to purchase one now, and get a concealed carry license. If you want some advice on picking out a gun:

- Glock, Sig Sauer, Colt, and Heckler and Koch, the only brands of guns you need to know. (I'm partial to the Sigs myself)
- Never pick a caliber lower then .40 to take on a target. Pick a higher caliber and get used to shooting it. I recommend .45 because it packs an ass load of firepower in a small cartridge.
- Shotguns are good for close quarters, but you can't carry it around with you.
- A Sig Sauer P220, a Heckler and Koch USP Compact in .45, a Glock 30, a Glock 36, and a Kimber Pro Carry are all very, very good choices.
- Follow the laws in your state/country. Learn what they classify as self-defense.

[emeraldlonewoulf]

guys, no self defense course will prepare a newb to fight an ex-con. It just doesn't work that way. It sure couldn't hurt any, and might build a bit of self confidence, but in a flat out street fight, the martial art student will get pwned by the con. Fact of Life.


Dude, move. if you can't, deal. Build confidence somehow, your lack of it is what the bully is feeding on. Separate yourself from them in every way possible. do not stick around for conversations. Good Luck!

[Splintered]

Originally Posted by emeraldlonewoulf

guys, no self defense course will prepare a newb to fight an ex-con. It just doesn't work that way. It sure couldn't hurt any, and might build a bit of self confidence, but in a flat out street fight, the martial art student will get pwned by the con. Fact of Life.

I've seen counter-examples of that, but sure, you can say it's a fact of life. However, getting a firearm is still a damn good idea, because ex-con or not, they can't dodge bullets.

I'm not advocating getting in to a shootout or breaking the law, but it's damn good self-defense.

[HumanePain]

Although we are all living in "civilization", dude, you are in a jungle environment, so the law of the jungle rules.

a) Get to know your neighbors. Get numbers on your side. This will make you part of an informal "gang" and he will instinctively hassle you less often.
Make your neighbors realize that they stand to benefit from uniting with other neighbors too. You might find more support than you think. Invite the other neighbors over now and then, let him see that your posse and you are tight.

b) The sister is just as dangerous. She will do anything for her brother and is probably codependent, getting money for him. I have seen this as often as boyfriend/girlfriend codependency. So be cautious around her, don't try to butter her up to use her as a buffer, given the choice between you and her brother he will always win.

c) You are wise to avoid him. Continue avoiding him, and don't lend him your bike. And don't say "I'd rather not" say "No, not doing that anymore", otherwise he will "smell" the fear. In the jungle, looking larger than life is a defense mechanism. This will be easier if you accomplish (a) above.

d) Keep the police phone number handy, but save it for an event that is witnessed by the neighbors, something loud, because the police will ask the neighbors "did you hear or see anything" and then you have witnesses to put him away for violating his parole.

[emeraldlonewoulf]

Originally Posted by Splintered

I've seen counter-examples of that, but sure, you can say it's a fact of life. However, getting a firearm is still a damn good idea, because ex-con or not, they can't dodge bullets.

I'm not advocating getting in to a shootout or breaking the law, but it's damn good self-defense.

Amen to that. Firearms aren't known as "equalizers" for nothing. Just be sure, if you go this route (which I highly recommend, if you are sensible) and have no previous firearms experience, to learn all you can about firearms safety, and possibly get a concealed carry permit. Learn about every facet of your weapon. Then, TAKE IT TO THE RANGE, with instruction. It doesn't do you a damn bit of good if you can't switch off the safety when you are scared or in a hurry, and can't hit anything with it.

Just a note, it is entirely possible to get something adequate for personal protection under $150. Yes, legally.

The brands and models he mentioned are among the best, and a .45 cal will knock down anybody. However, they are fairly expensive, for someone on a budget. A Hi-point is cheap, and will get the job done. This isn't a brand for the pistol aficionado, it is cheap, usable home defense.

and to second what Splintered said, don't go off half cocked ( a horrible pun, I know) but he's right, they can't dodge a bullet.

[Opteron_Man]

Thanks everyone! The guy is so unstable. If this person was an average joe, I would just invite him to piss off. This guy can and has blown his stack over next to nothing and been calm the next minute. He has been to anger managment, it didn't work and his meds don't work too well.

[Opteron_Man]

Asking him what happened to the brake lever and if he will pay for it is just as good as greasing a stick of dynamite and sliding it right up my very asshole then lighting the fuse!

Fuck it, I happen to know the guys broke. He couldn't pay for it even if he wanted to.
I will pay to get it fixed. It WAS my own stpidity to loan it to him in the first place and let him sweat talk me into it.

[Solumina]

I would recommend the self defense class and/or martial arts training, if only for the backbone that it will give you.

Also if you do decide to get a gun then go to the range before you even think of bringing one home, most, if not all, ranges have guns there that you can use (a good number don't even allow you to bring in your own). Make sure that you know how to handle a gun well before you have one anywhere near your psycho neighbor because chances are that right now his reaction time is way better than yours and he knows how handle a gun better than you do.

[Opteron_Man]

Originally Posted by Solumina

I would recommend the self defense class and/or martial arts training, if only for the backbone that it will give you.

Also if you do decide to get a gun then go to the range before you even think of bringing one home, most, if not all, ranges have guns there that you can use (a good number don't even allow you to bring in your own). Make sure that you know how to handle a gun well before you have one anywhere near your psycho neighbor because chances are that right now his reaction time is way better than yours and he knows how handle a gun better than you do.

It's not about having a backbone Solumina. I do have one. Its gotten me into trouble more then once. As I said way more then once, I am not dealing with an average Joe here. He is a hardened veterin of the street and jail and has a nasty bloody temper to to go with that experience. He wants to borrow stuff from me and I don't know how to say no without getting cut. The self-defence ideas are good, thankies!

[Solumina]

I don't mean to say that you have no backbone at all but it seems to run away when you are around someone you know could kick your ass, which is understandable, the thing is that guys like him are good at picking out people like that and taking advantage of them. Knowing how to handle yourself will make you a less than easy target and 95% of the time will keep guys like him off of your back, just be sure not to be confrontational as that tends to end badly.

[Opteron_Man]

Originally Posted by Solumina

I don't mean to say that you have no backbone at all but it seems to run away when you are around someone you know could kick your ass, which is understandable, the thing is that guys like him are good at picking out people like that and taking advantage of them. Knowing how to handle yourself will make you a less than easy target and 95% of the time will keep guys like him off of your back, just be sure not to be confrontational as that tends to end badly.

You are absulutly right Solumina! You hit the nail square on the head!

[Barfing_Rat]

Well... If you take self defense, make sure it is a combat sport style such as judo, kickboxing, Muay Thai, sambo, or even boxing or wrestling. Stay away from exotic style such as aikido, karate, tae kwon do, etc... Unless you REALLY know what you're looking for. Why? Because all those styles that claim to be deadly but didn't take any part in sport/competition or whatever would be like as taking a swimming class without any water to swim in. They may look good and impressive, however when put to actual use, they cannot pull it off! But those that do sport style are trained and teach to actually apply the teaching to the situation.

As for guns... Gee... Be VERY CAREFUL! I've heard of MANY case where people talk about how they can blow someone head off without any problem but when they're put in situation where they actually need to use it, they froze and cannot pull the trigger. Definitely NOT a position you want to be in if facing a thug like as the OP described.

Other biggest thing to worry about isn't the first confront. I'll bet that even if the OP does get in a fight with this thug and the thug get any slightest sense that he'll get a minor bruise. The thug will most likely run away only to return later and surprise attack out of blue. So gun will probably not do any good.
The best thing to do would be to fortify the apartment. It's a good thing your apartment is on second floor. I'd try to barracide the door by make some kind of removable device. Such as putting six braces on door frame (three each sides) and when you're home, you can put a 2X4 or 2X6 on braces so it's across the door. That way the door cannot be kicked open easily. As for the window that is accessible without ladder, I'd buy curtain and place it on window then put a plywood against the window frame then brace it with a couple 2X4. That way you can feel more safe in home and have some time to call police if this thug try to break in.

Also getting known to other neighbors would be great! That way all of you can keep eyes out for eachother and have more chance of catching this thug doing something illegal or against the apartment rule and getting him thrown out or back in prison.

Once you fortified your apartment and have buddies around you, you may can try to piss this thug off as much as possible by being as rude to him on phone as possible or turn stereo on at reasonable level at fairly early like 10 am or whatever. Try to piss him off to point where he'll come up and try to knock the door down or something. Make sure to capture the whole thing on record so you have evidence that he was threatening you and try to break in. Then you can call the police and they'll arrest him for sure! Plus the apartment manager will HAVE to force them to move out or... I think so.

It would look REALLY bad if the police come to find him banging on your door and you having record of him threatening to kill you and banging on the door, you unarmed, all innocent, being so terrified (yes fake being so fear, even wet your pants on purpose or whatever!), your house being all forted up, etc... Along with picture of damaged bike. Then they'll see he have a violent record and history. That will NOT goes well in court at all!

Then you can have a friend or someone try to observe his sister to see if she's a whore or dealer. If she's one then you can report it to the police and they'll probably set up a sting and catch her in action and throw her in prison and keep her seperate from her brother.

Hope this give you some idea.


Edit: Btw if you does plan on fortify your apartment, ALWAYS use screw! Don't use nails!!! Also be sure to talk with worker at your local hardware store about security tool. Just lie and tell them that you have a vacanted house that you're trying to remodel but cannot because homeless or some punk kids keep break in. They'll help you select the right tool.

[Opteron_Man]

Yeah, I asked him yo his face what happened to the brake lever, and guess what the answer was? The same old tired lie; "Oh I don't know. It wasn't like that when I borrowed it, I allways take care of your bike".
I was expecting something like this, I just sighed and said "okay, fine".
I never ever had a single problem with my bike. The plastic that holds the brake lever on is shattered. and it was robustly made.

[Chazz]

My advice, be EXTREMELY pleasent. Say:

"Hi (Insert name here) You ok?"

Just listen to what he says and if he replies in a pleasent manner, just mention that the peddle on the bike was broken.

Don't say anything to antagonise him. Simply ask if it would be possible for him to get you a replacement.

Just say that you literally worked your ass off for it and that it is your most prized posetion and to see it broken makes you sad.

OR! You could just get the fuck out of there which is what i'd do.

Are you male or female..? If your female, call the police about the abuse. Because can I be honest, i'm not being sexcist, but the police will take you more serious that way.

Hope i've helped.

[Opteron_Man]

Originally Posted by Opteron_Man

Yeah, I asked him yo his face what happened to the brake lever, and guess what the answer was? The same old tired lie; "Oh I don't know. It wasn't like that when I borrowed it, I allways take care of your bike".
I was expecting something like this, I just sighed and said "okay, fine".
I never ever had a single problem with my bike. The plastic that holds the brake lever on is shattered. and it was robustly made.

I was able to salvage another lever from my other "parts" bike.
I don't understand how it broke on it's own. When I went to remove the old one, I had to use a cold chisel and a hammer! That is not ordinary plastic. That is the strongest plastic like material I have seen yet. The fucker broke it. I don't see an impact stong enough that could brake it in one blow. Lie lies lies.

[NightmareInShiningArmour]

Jesus, this guy is a fucking psycho.
The only advice I have for you is MOVE