Sexuality

[Sanctus Dei]

For those who are coupled and co-habitating; do things change much? I'm going to move in with my signif in about 3 months, we are buying a townhome together. It must be noted we've been together for over 7 years now. We barely fight and both have fairly level heads, not to mention we both love our sexual relationship BUT we only see each other two days a week (due to working schedules) so such a major increase in contact frightens me slightly. I know our feelings for eachother won't change... but the way we relate almost has to. So my other question would be, how do you adjust?

[Empty_Purple_Stars]

Originally Posted by Sanctus Dei

For those who are coupled and co-habitating; do things change much? I'm going to move in with my signif in about 3 months, we are buying a townhome together. It must be noted we've been together for over 7 years now. We barely fight and both have fairly level heads, not to mention we both love our sexual relationship BUT we only see each other two days a week (due to working schedules) so such a major increase in contact frightens me slightly. I know our feelings for eachother won't change... but the way we relate almost has to. So my other question would be, how do you adjust?

Man, thats a really tough question. Before I forget mid ramble, have you guys lived together before at any point? And if no, why the seven year wait? *curiosity*

Normally I would say, don't buy a house with someone you haven't lived with before, but you guys have been together for seven years. Which is a long damn time. But it IS a HUGE step and one I want you to make uber sure you are ready to make.

Yes, things change. Some of it wonderful change, some of it mildly annoying. The ratio of annoying to wonderful, will depend on how you two get along when you are together everyday. You'll have some habits he hates, he'll have some habits you hate. You'll get to know each other in a totally different way. You'll see each other at your best and worst. You'll go to bed together and wake up together. You will both probably have to adapt a bit for and with each other. All of that can be very positive.

My Great-Grandma always said, "You never really know someone, til you live with them." The rest of the time, most people are in good behavior mode. "

It is normal to be apprehensive. Try and talk to him about his nervousness and ask him what expectations he has of this new step. I recently learned the hard way, that Communication with your Partner is more important than anything. With Deep Love, anything can be worked with Good Communication. Those two foundations will help you grow through anything.

Just be sure that buying together is something you are both ready for, the first time you share the same roof.

I know you'll make good choices, no matter which direction you go.

He's a Lucky Man to have you.

[Manimal]

I'm sure in the years you've been together you've had sleepovers, spent weekends together and the like. You've probably also helped each other with chores and generally gotten a fair understanding of the living habits of each other. I think you'll be suprised at how seemlessly you two will integrate considering the time you've already been together.

[Sanctus Dei]

EPS, Manimal, Santarea and Xng:

Thanks for the advice guys... Let's see; yes, we've stayed together before. Before I took a brief brake and wandered my ass to San Francisco last year we cohabitated 4 out of seven days a week... of course that was in one tightly crammed room with little space to breathe. I did get slightly claustrophobic due to the lack of space, not to mention he was invading on my territory at that point. But once I sat him down and spoke to him he was more then accommodating. He's a wonderful man, he'll do anything for me within reason and I will do anything for him, nice thing is neither of us has taken advantage of that fact.

I'm a little amazed at our relationship actually.. even after 7 years we still surprise each other (especially sexually) the great thing(even though I won't admit this to him) most of our fights are over him wanting to see more of me. (I work 80 hours a week right now and it's a little difficult) I can see living the rest of life with him I've just seen so many other relationships take a nose dive... I worry.


Xng... thank you for the idea, I think I may just use it (time to myself is a must!!)

Thanks again guys.. I will keep all your advice and thoughts with me.

[BloodRaven]

It's amazing to me how people make something as common as sexuality a taboo topic. It makes me wonder if those people in the madhouses are the really the sane ones.

[BloodRaven]

Originally Posted by Xnguela

It's not taboo here. We talk about everything. You seem to practically expect us to give you shit for being gay, hun... We won't. Lots of us are gay or bi. We know what it's like to be part of that minority. So you don't really have to worry.

I wasn't pointing fingers at anyone here. I was just talking about how society generally perceives sexuality as taboo.

[Empty_Purple_Stars]

Originally Posted by Xnguela

It's not taboo here. We talk about everything. You seem to practically expect us to give you shit for being gay, hun... We won't. Lots of us are gay or bi. We know what it's like to be part of that minority. So you don't really have to worry.

Uhh. Did you see this?

Originally Posted by BloodRaven

I am a furry (which means I'm sexually attracted to anthropomorphic animals)

I am sexually attracted to Sammael! Maybe it is because he looks kind of like a dragon. 0.0

We apparently, have our very own Furry now.
I do believe that covers all of the known fetishes.
Except for the ones pertaining to Poo.

*twitch*

[Empty_Purple_Stars]

Uhh..

I myself reserve the right to good naturedly poke fun at ANYONE who is sexually attracted to anthropomorphic animals.

But that's just me.

[BloodRaven]

Well, I am new here, so I didn't know. I was afraid something like that has happened because it has happened so much before. Thankfully, though, I haven't gotten any flaming so for it. I suppose I can finally let down my guard.

But that's when they attack!

[Wise Child]

Originally Posted by Xnguela

EPS-- Is there ANYTHING worse than a urine fetish, though?

But, Xng, I thought pee was one of your favourite things in the world! My world is all askew...

[Wise Child]

Oh my god. I need a drink. Ya know, ya think you know someone...

[Wise Child]

Oh thank GOD. Thought you meant your original love of pee was tongue-in-cheek! I had the bottle open, the neck tilted back... you saved me from the brink.

Consider it an act of compassion - I have a filthy cough and the hangover wouldn't have helped. But no worries. God is in his heaven, and all is well in his world.

[Empty_Purple_Stars]

And which cheeks are we speaking about?

I prefer Tongue in Ass Cheek.

Makes for better viewing..

[sensuous0mar]

Originally Posted by darkangel29

Sexuality is taboo to society because we have this "dirty" feeling about our bodies. How would you feel if you walked outside one day and EVERYONE was naked and acting normal? What would happen to lust?

*thinks* Oh GOD PLEASE NO!

Nakedness would no longer be sexy. It would be the norm and the hottest thing someone could do would be to wear sweaters and snowpants...only you can't have sex with all your clothes completely on. So nakedness being unsexy and rather ho-hum would ruin sex forever. We would, in fact, become like the animals - always walking around naked and only having sex when we felt the need to sow a seed. How un-fun would that be?

[JuliaGaltic]

Originally Posted by sensuous0mar

Nakedness would no longer be sexy. It would be the norm and the hottest thing someone could do would be to wear sweaters and snowpants...only you can't have sex with all your clothes completely on. So nakedness being unsexy and rather ho-hum would ruin sex forever. We would, in fact, become like the animals - always walking around naked and only having sex when we felt the need to sow a seed. How un-fun would that be?

That may be true but there would be new things to find sexy. I'm reding this book right now (fiction) in which serfs aren't allowed clothing. Here's a scene in between a female and a male serf:

"She donned the (filmy negligee) without shame and did a pirouette, causing the material to fling out about her legs. Stile (male serf) found this indescribably erotic..." "...Oh, what clothing did for the woman, creating shadows where ordinarily there were none, making mysteries where none had been before!"

I guess in that case clothed would become the new naked...

[Empty_Purple_Stars]

Originally Posted by darkangel29

I have a question for EPS... I saw what you guys said to JS when she was talking on here... do you want me to butt out of this thread as well since I am a minor... I am trying to watch myself, but I would just like to know...

I have never felt remotely uncomfortable with ANY of your posts. I don't see a reason for you to have to avoid this thread. You handle yourself in a mature way, and I can't say I have ever seen you totally cross the line. Joy took her privlege to participate, set it on fire, and rammed it up our asses.

Big difference.

You might want to ask E_E if he agrees, but I personally don't see a reason for you to limit where you post.

Thanks for asking though, the courtesy is very much appreciated..

[edible_eye]

i don't think any thread should be off-limits to anyone, quite honestly.

my only objection has to do with pictures that cross the line or come dangerously close to doing so.

there's a division-point in this country between the written word and visual representation of 'taboo' topics.

for the most part, members have been mature enough to discuss topics brought forth.

the only thing i won't tolerate via member contributions are sexually oriented conversations from over 18 members directed at under 18 members. that's just inappropriate and as far as i'm concerned - has no place here on this site.

[edible_eye]

Originally Posted by Santarea

One caveat to that, Edible- It goes both ways. I don't care for under 18 member to bait those who are older than 18 into such conversations. Ideally, the over 18er should know to check profile before responding...

point well taken and i agree. older members should ensure the ones they are speaking with are of age when it comes to pointed sexual discussions.

[edible_eye]

Originally Posted by BloodRaven

I suppose I can finally let down my guard.

But that's when they attack!

damn straight (get it? straight? huh? huh?) - now that i know your achilles heel i shall flay it repeatedly.

en garde!

[Sanctus Dei]

Originally Posted by BloodRaven

Well, I am new here, so I didn't know. I was afraid something like that has happened because it has happened so much before. Thankfully, though, I haven't gotten any flaming so for it. I suppose I can finally let down my guard.

But that's when they attack!

Honestly, it's 2006... everyone and his/her mom has tip toed out of the closet and as far as the goth community goes were accepted with open arms. For the most part we don't reside in the bible belt or back woods Louisiana.. (to quote a great man..) "Live in the Now." Not only are we not about to attack you but I don't really care what sorted shit you do in your spare time.

I need to go to bed, I'm getting crabby.

[edible_eye]

hey! coincidence alert!

i like sex too. let's get together and compare notes.

[Sanctus Dei]

Just notes?

[sensuous0mar]

hallelujiah for boobies!

[Ikaros]

Originally Posted by BloodRaven

It's amazing to me how people make something as common as sexuality a taboo topic. It makes me wonder if those people in the madhouses are the really the sane ones.

That's pretty simple to get.
As long as sex has taboos attached to it, it retains a degree of mystery. If it's something you don't talk about, thinking about it brings a thrill. If there are certain KINDS of sex that are taboo, the possibilities of what can and can't be done take on the flavor of fantasy (no small wonder we use that word so often in connection with sex).
On top of taboo, we layer danger, risk, even fear. The correlation between sex and violence (particularly in our reactions to them) drives ticket sales. We *need* sex to feel dangerous, both to justify the taboo and to reinforce the drive BEHIND those taboos.

Sex is mysterious, powerful, dangerous, forbidden, dark, alluring...
OR
It's really, really funny.

I think most of our impositions on the issue of sex are to build up the former image, because we really can't cope with the alternative.

[Sanctus Dei]

Say it again...