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Commentary Dicussion and feedback for Gothic.net articles, fiction, and news. This is where the community gets to add their thoughts and perhaps constructive opinions about the fiction and articles and such. |
12-14-2005, 05:31 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 774
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Coming Home by Maria Alexander
Quote:
My mouth is sour with whiskey and the loaded shotgun lays heavily across my lap in my sofa chair. This is my Christmas Eve ritual.
I hate Christmas. The holidays. The time for families to gather to share love and good cheer. Bullshit. I try hard every year to forget there is a Christmas precisely because it reminds me of my family, but this fucking world won't let me. They've romanticized a nightmare.
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12-16-2005, 11:44 AM
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#2
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,111
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I love the sentance "They've romanticized a nightmare." It's so beautifully expressive of that idea. I've heard lots of people explain how Christmas is nightmare-like to me, before, but never in these particularly resounding words. I loved the dark flow of this piece in general, and at the end, I was left with a sense of "huh... hmm.". **SPOILERISH**:
It's definitely a *very* different perspective. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but at the end I was left thinking that the father was Santa Claus, and the eldest son was one of the workers, traditionally thought to be elves, but, in this piece, actually his enslaved and abused children. I mean, obviously it's a work of fiction, so this has no legendary value, but this perspective is very sympathetic to those who hate the holidays, and I like that. It's sympathetic without just being a whiney story about a poor kid who had a tough family life and doesn't like Christmas, it's about someone much closer to the root of the holiday. Very creepy.
However, I'm not sure how I felt about the Chistmas song lyrics (I'm assuming?) inserted in between paragraphs. I'm just not sure how much I like that. In further readings of this piece, I'm sure I'll make up my mind.
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12-16-2005, 11:37 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
Posts: 353
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Wow, I remember reading this story when it was first published on the site. I love how at one point in the story the reader suddenly puts everything together and figures out exactly who this character is and more importantly who his father is.
Merry Christmas!
__________________
You've got red on you.
You only see what you want to believe
When you creep from the back
I got tricks up my sleeve
24/7 the devil's best friend
It makes no difference
It's all the same in the end
-"Same in the End" by Sublime
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12-17-2005, 07:24 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 3,793
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I believe the father in the story is Santa Claus and with that thought, i found this to be sinisterly joyful.
a bit of editing would go a long way. after all, if the lead character is a normal human being (nothing in the story indicates otherwise), how is it that his siblings have "claws" like "fish hooks"?
overall, it was an enjoyable read. thanx for sharing.
__________________
"How many times can I say I'm not sorry? And how many ways can I show I don't care?" - Type O Negative
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12-18-2005, 09:42 AM
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#5
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,111
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Well, what if the main character *isn't* a normal human being? I mean, he could hide his elfliness somehow. Or maybe they were only called "claws" for dramatic effect.
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12-18-2005, 05:11 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 3,793
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could be. but the lead "son" escaped the clutches of his evil father and is presented sitting on a couch, drinking whiskey with a shotgun across his lap - a very human picture. he speaks of his siblings, not as being different from him, but as equals.
i agree that despite this line of thought, chances are the lead character is not normal in terms of being human, but a little heads up - something like a line stating how he tried to fit in with humanity but his obvious differences prevented him from doing so - would have gone a long way in terms of perpetuating his worldy torture while allowing for his siblings to assume any form needed.
i think the word "claws" was likely a play on "claus", to further drive home the point of santa as the father - but i believe they were also to be seen as genuine claws, both to further exemplify the fact that the family was one of monsters, as well as to explian why his skin was punctured and torn when they grabbed hold of him.
most of the story holds together well - but a bit more would have solidified it.
__________________
"How many times can I say I'm not sorry? And how many ways can I show I don't care?" - Type O Negative
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12-20-2005, 09:42 AM
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#7
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,111
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Yeah, good point about the lack of detailing on his humanization. The story definitely could have been longer.
And good point about the "claws" = "claus" thing- I didn't even notice!
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12-23-2005, 06:11 AM
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#8
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 253
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I read this story last night, but I didn't realise that the father was Santa until this morning. It just kinda hit me while I was trying to fall back to sleep, and I was like "woah." I think I had just needed to sleep on it before I got it.
I've never found that take on Santa before, though. I think that's part of what makes that story so... striking.
I think an other reason why I liked the story so much is that there are quite a few things that I don't like about Christmas. It's getting lost in a commercial rush. Stores are pushing you to buy things, society presses you to "show you care" or "show your love" for someone by spending more money on them... Personally, I think time is more valuable, or the amount of thought you put into something (having it be an almost perfect gift, or having it be a unique gift that you know they'll like even if they never specifically mentionned it)
And the lyrics that TeapotScar mentionned are the lyrics from Carol of the Bells. It's one of my favourite Christmas songs. I thought that those lyrics were quite appropriate for the story, because they're talking about joy and happiness in a story about this miserable guy.
I don't think I'll ever look at Santa the same way again.
__________________
This is me for forever
One of the lost ones
The one without a name
Without an honest heart
as compass
--Nightwish.
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12-26-2005, 04:03 PM
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#9
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Hellywood, CA
Posts: 9
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I just wanted to thank everyone for reading the story and for taking the time to post your thoughts. (Just so you know, there is a formatting problem with the song lyrics. I hope it was clear what they were, regardless.) When I first wrote this story a few years ago, I gave it to Neil Gaiman just after Thanksgiving. He said, "<i>This</i> is the story I should have written!" (Referring to his dark Xmas card, I'm assuming.) Anyway, I'm glad you liked it. If not, better luck then in the future, I hope!
Bestest, Maria
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08-11-2006, 02:57 AM
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#10
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2
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I really loved this! I have to admit the end had me wide eyed... with surprise, Im not much of a writer myself, so I might sound a little dumb stuck.
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09-04-2006, 06:18 AM
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#11
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: In Your Pants, PA.
Posts: 1,918
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Wow, what an incredibly sad ending. I REALLY liked this story though.
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09-12-2006, 10:28 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: united states
Posts: 1
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I REALLY LIKED YOUR STORY BECAUSE I CAN RELATE VERY MUCH TO THE MAIN CHARACTER. I NEVER LIKED CHRISTMAS. I CAN RELATE TO BEING THE ODD ONE OF THE FAMILY. NEVER QUITE FEELING TO MEETING UP OF EXPECTATIONS ETC. KNOWING THAT SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT AND YOUR THE ONLY ONE WHO "GET'S iT". THE ENDING WAS REALLY GOOD. IT WAS KIND OF METAPHORICAL TO ME AS TO WHAT SOCIETY CAN DO TO AN INDIVIDUAL WHO IS DIFFERENT? I MAY BE GOING OVERBOARD WITH THE ANALYZING BUT YOUR STORY DID STRIKE A CORD IN ME. GOOD JOB!
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09-17-2006, 06:41 PM
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#13
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: The Icy Forest of New England
Posts: 2,535
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I like this. It was an interesting story. I really liked it. I loved the metaphorical language used in it.
__________________
"Tigers love pepper, they hate cinnamon."
-Zach Galifianakis
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11-12-2006, 05:05 PM
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#14
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: in a hell known as my life
Posts: 20
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i enjoyed reading the story. i never really enjoyed christmas either.it never was my thing. i could never be happy or cheerful like the world expects me to be.
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12-26-2006, 05:36 AM
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#15
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 195
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Damn, that's a good story!
It's just so perverted and dark and everything not christmasy that it makes me clap my hands in glee
__________________
I'm not saying that stupidity should be a capital offence, but we could remove all the warningstickers and let nature run it's course...
"Nutrizone can kiss my pale, decayed ass"
-Draconysius
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12-26-2006, 09:47 AM
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#16
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: The Icy Forest of New England
Posts: 2,535
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I must say I love this story as well. Very dark.
__________________
"Tigers love pepper, they hate cinnamon."
-Zach Galifianakis
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12-09-2007, 08:16 AM
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#17
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Albuquerque
Posts: 2
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Awesome, Maria. I had to love the intro, of course. Yes. They cram it down our throats every bleeding year, don't they?!
I feared midway that it would just be a rumination about this delightful season by a kindred spirit, but then was greeted with quite the unexpected ending. At least I was never part of his sweatshop. El oh well! Blessings, dah-ling.
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09-24-2008, 12:30 PM
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#18
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 3
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wow, i loved most of all the dark side of it, and the detail put into this. i felt as if i was the main character in this. well done, and hope to see more.
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09-27-2008, 01:10 PM
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#19
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Fort Lauderdale
Posts: 148
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Totally fucking wicked! I love it.
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