|
|
|
TV, Movies, & Games Talk about your favorite TV shows, movies, games, and other media here. Or don't. We don't want to tell you what to do or anything. |
06-25-2011, 01:28 PM
|
#1
|
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Sugar Hill
Posts: 3,887
|
I am better than the Gothic.net panel of experts
Because I'm telling you about Black Death
Seriously, this is one of the best Horror films I've seen in a long time. I have no idea how it slipped under the radar.
The film is set in the dark ages, during the first major outbreak of the bubonic plague. The story follows a young monk (Eddie Redmayne) who signs on as a guide for a knight-envoy named Ulric (Sean Bean) sent by the local bishop. Ulric is the leader of a band of former soldiers (Killers really) who, attracted by tales of a village unravaged by the plague. The reason? There's a necromancer there raising the dead and keeping the plague at bay via demonic rituals. Ulric is to find the village, find the necromancer and bring him or her back to the bishop for torture and execution.
Black Death is awesome. Not really an adventure flick, nor a "jump scare" or gore-powered horror movie, it is a gritty realistic depiction of the plague-ravaged dark ages. Ulric is no noble knight, but a pragmatic and inscrutible religious fanatic. His men really aren't anything more than murderers, and the villagers/necromancer? well you'll have to wait and see.
This is the best kind of horror, because it's a smart film that leaves you not really knowing how to feel. Surprisingly, the movie does a good job of making you care about Ulric and his band of killers (despite how monstrous their actions and intentions are). In the end you have a creeping psychological and surprisingly political story with shades of "Apocalypse Now" that makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.
Seriously, Check it out.
It's streaming for free on netflicks.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KontanKarite
I promote radical change through my actions.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger
I have chugged more than ten epic boners.
|
|
|
|
06-25-2011, 02:18 PM
|
#2
|
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,271
|
You're also prettier. You left that out, sugar tits.
Looks like an interesting movie.
__________________
I'd rather label myself than have a million other people do it for me. ~ Pathogen
...I've been accused of folly by a fool. ~Antigone
|
|
|
06-25-2011, 04:38 PM
|
#3
|
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Sugar Hill
Posts: 3,887
|
FAR prettier.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KontanKarite
I promote radical change through my actions.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger
I have chugged more than ten epic boners.
|
|
|
|
06-25-2011, 04:51 PM
|
#4
|
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Um, lower, oh yeah, uh, uh ... YES THERE!
Posts: 6,738
|
Added to my Netflix IW queue. Thanks!
__________________
Lead me not into temptation ... follow me, I know a shortcut!
As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.
Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
|
|
|
06-26-2011, 12:30 AM
|
#5
|
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 4,587
|
Sounds like a clone of Season Of The Witch.
|
|
|
06-26-2011, 08:07 AM
|
#6
|
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Sugar Hill
Posts: 3,887
|
Except Season of the Witch sucks, and this doesn't. Also, Black Plague came out a year BEFORE Nickolas Cage's abortion.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KontanKarite
I promote radical change through my actions.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger
I have chugged more than ten epic boners.
|
|
|
|
06-26-2011, 08:32 AM
|
#7
|
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
|
The Plague Years, ha. Thanks for the tip Des, I will have to check this one out.
|
|
|
06-29-2011, 01:34 AM
|
#8
|
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 4,587
|
So I watched this film last night, and it was SHITE.
Seriously, I thought Season Of The Witch was much better. This film had nothing. They walked around in the woods for an hour then it was over. There were no monsters, necromancers, or zombies as you said there were in your first post. They didn't torture anyone nor did they bring anyone back anywhere. It reminded me of the feckin Blair Witch.
'They are in the woods, nothings happening, nothings happening, its over' - Brian Griffin
That pretty much sums up this film. There was only like one single action scene in the whole thing and it was over in seconds and that was the high point of the film.
The ending also sucked balls.
Season Of The Witch had actual monsters, lots of special effects, and action. It wasn't the best film but it was leaps and bounds above this crappy flick.
|
|
|
06-29-2011, 09:33 AM
|
#9
|
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Sugar Hill
Posts: 3,887
|
Black Death rates 73% on Rotten Tomatoes
Season of the Witch Rates 7%
You clearly have terrible taste in movies Sternn.
It's also unsurprising that you didn't like the ending: YOU'RE CATHOLIC.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KontanKarite
I promote radical change through my actions.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger
I have chugged more than ten epic boners.
|
|
|
|
06-29-2011, 10:11 AM
|
#10
|
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Fiddler's Green
Posts: 1,406
|
The shades of Apocolyspe you mentioned is pretty convincing. I'll check dis shit.
|
|
|
06-29-2011, 10:40 AM
|
#11
|
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,419
|
It felt a bit empty, it could have either been shorter, or worked more into the story.
Still, I did like it. It kind of reminded me of the sort of moral stories that our teacher would read to us in primary school. I think Rotten Tomatoes is being a little generous though. I'd go with maybe 6/10.
|
|
|
06-29-2011, 11:32 AM
|
#12
|
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 4,587
|
@Raptor -
Did you see Season Of The Witch, and if so, which would you rank higher?
We should start a poll.
|
|
|
06-29-2011, 12:51 PM
|
#13
|
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Sugar Hill
Posts: 3,887
|
Sternn:
Rotten Tomatoes ratings ARE polls, and they're better indications of the worthiness of a movie than a Gnet poll.
7% man, that's less than 1 out of 10, whereas multiple critics ranked Black Death more than 7 out of 10. Only 35% of the audience liked Season of the Witch, while 50% liked Black Death.
From the beginning, I said this WASN'T an adventure film. I said it was a gritty, realistic depiction of Medieval society during the black plague. This is a story about Man's inhumanity to man, not a CGI fantasy altarboy suckfest.
and since you've decided to start posting spoilers unmarked (poor form Laddie) You DO realize what an actual necromancer would've meant right? It would've meant that the Catholic Church was RIGHT to murder and burn and oppress/monopolize political power at swordpoint. The pokers and the thumbscrews were necessary, because the Plague WAS from Hell, hell was real, and the stakes (eternity) could not be higher.
Honestly, you should've known from ny review that this wasn't a cheesy sword and sorcery action/adventure flick, and if you somehow managed to miss this, you should've known FROM THE FIRST SHOT that this wouldn't have demons in it. Remember when the guy said the church taught that the plague came from God and you saw a RAT in the center of the shot? Yeeeaaah. (Dramatic irony ftw)
With an actual necromancer you'd have Catholic apologism mixed with the basic fantasy idolization rampant in escapist fiction. You'd have a popcorn movie, not a psychological period thriller.
All the things you complain about are what MAKE Black Death a great film. With real zombies you know who the black hats and white hats are, without you have this wonderful, horrifying, realistic moral ambiguity. You realize that this conflict and torture, and death is all ultimately fruitless because everything the main characters AND the villagers have based their lives on is a lie, and all their deaths are inevitable from the second they enter the village. You realize how terrifying the epilogue really is.
Or, ya know, if you perfer, the good knight could slay the evil CGI demon, get the girl, and restore peace and sunshine, gumbdrops, and justify the power of a benevolent patriarchal dictatorship. JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER MEDIEVAL STORY EVER.
Don't act like this was a bad story because you wanted a different story (The same story you've heard a million times over at that) because that's friggin' STUPID.
In the end your objections are all a matter of taste, and as we have scientifically established, your taste is horrible.
Sheeeiiit son!
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KontanKarite
I promote radical change through my actions.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger
I have chugged more than ten epic boners.
|
|
|
|
06-29-2011, 07:16 PM
|
#14
|
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,700
|
Despanan. Where do you live? I have a latex saddle I want to try on you.
|
|
|
06-30-2011, 12:35 AM
|
#15
|
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 4,587
|
It lacked anything. Plus, like yerself, the trailer promised the undead and necromancers. I was more pissed off at the lack of those than anything else.
If I wanted to watch a bunch of men bonding in the woods while being chased by hillbillies I could have watched deliverance.
|
|
|
06-30-2011, 11:45 AM
|
#16
|
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,419
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by CptSternn
@Raptor -
Did you see Season Of The Witch, and if so, which would you rank higher?
|
I did, I prefer Black Death. Season of the Witch is a bland adventure, I think 7% is harsh, but Black Death is better.
It didn't help that the opening battle with crusaders with American accents immediately made me think of this.
|
|
|
06-30-2011, 02:00 PM
|
#17
|
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Sugar Hill
Posts: 3,887
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by CptSternn
It lacked anything. Plus, like yerself, the trailer promised the undead and necromancers. I was more pissed off at the lack of those than anything else.
|
As I said, you expected a different movie. The trailer didn't promise anything, and neither did I. It. Said there are TALES of Men Eating Men, and the Dead Rising. There are tales of plenty of stuff that isn't real, like Jesus for instance.
Quote:
If I wanted to watch a bunch of men bonding in the woods while being chased by hillbillies I could have watched deliverance.
|
It's funny that you mention Deliverance, because guess what? I would say a comparison between the two films is apt. Black Death, Apocalypse Now, and Deliverance all share a great deal o the same DNA - they all come from Heart of Darkness.
You wanted a popcorn movie. You got great literature.
Renatus: I will say that something DID feel off to me about Black Death, I think it's actually because it's a movie and inverts so many cinematic tropes; emotionally, we aren't prepared for a story like this in this format.
Death might have actually worked better as a novella.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KontanKarite
I promote radical change through my actions.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger
I have chugged more than ten epic boners.
|
|
|
|
06-30-2011, 02:58 PM
|
#18
|
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 4,587
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Despanan
You wanted a popcorn movie. You got great literature.
|
Thats pretty much it in a nutshell.
|
|
|
07-03-2011, 02:50 PM
|
#19
|
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,271
|
So, over the previous two days I watched both Season of the Witch and Black Death.
I agree with Sugar Tits about Black Death. It's a good movie. It's one of the ones that stays with you afterward making you think. I like when movies do that.
__________________
I'd rather label myself than have a million other people do it for me. ~ Pathogen
...I've been accused of folly by a fool. ~Antigone
|
|
|
07-03-2011, 03:02 PM
|
#20
|
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Fiddler's Green
Posts: 1,406
|
What's wrong with Deliverance, STernn?
|
|
|
07-03-2011, 03:09 PM
|
#21
|
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,271
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sinjob
What's wrong with Deliverance, STernn?
|
Maybe he has a problem with buttsecks?
Sinneh, why can't I pm you?
__________________
I'd rather label myself than have a million other people do it for me. ~ Pathogen
...I've been accused of folly by a fool. ~Antigone
|
|
|
07-04-2011, 02:40 AM
|
#22
|
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,419
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Despanan
Renatus: I will say that something DID feel off to me about Black Death, I think it's actually because it's a movie and inverts so many cinematic tropes; emotionally, we aren't prepared for a story like this in this format.
Death might have actually worked better as a novella.
|
Raptor, but yeah. A novella would have been quite good I think.
|
|
|
07-04-2011, 01:13 PM
|
#23
|
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Fiddler's Green
Posts: 1,406
|
What tasteless fool can't appreicate some good ole' anal?
And I have no idea.
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:44 PM.
|
|