Telling your parents - Page 3

Sanctus Dei · 06-08-2006, 09:30 AM

Just so all the newbies are aware:

Catch often posts a collective of thoughts which make no understandable sense to anyone.. We've learned to either not respond or just laugh and move along. It's not worth the wasted time of questioning.

Catch · 06-10-2006, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Magpie_Tendencies

Umm... You will what when they pay the bills?

Will be a little less hasty about rocking the boat.

I don't see any reason to do something stupid that will inevidably backfire on me because someone I don't even know told me that it would make me feel better. So ya, having the attitude maybe it isn't everybody's business is fine.

You know, it isn't other people's responsiblity to out other people either. Maybe it happens by accident, but if I know someone is Goth and has a habbit of changing their clothes before going home, not going to make a big deal out of it. So what? It isn't my life and if they know their might be consequences then they are probably right and figure out how to take care of it on their own.

Underlying Truth · 06-11-2006, 03:54 AM

Uh, edging slightly back on the topic in question and yet slightly off...

- What about if your parents are Chinese and slightly old fashioned in the sense of culture and belief, of which to be honest I can't blame them for, because hey, that was the way they were brought up. (Well Mum anyway, my Father is a little more vulnerable, but recently he's been making attempts to stand up for me. Oh I love him.) To the point, they believe that wearing black will bring death or such what and I am celebrating her death early (her words). The things I appreciate in the Gothic culture like the art, etc is simply not seen by her and going slightly off now, the things I read, literature, philosophy, and my beliefs simply piss her off, put bluntly.

For example, I am a pretty big believer in Make Poverty History and other similar campaigns, and when I came home with a white band on, she took it off me and put it in the bin saying i can't wear a white band as it symbolised the white candles lit at a funeral. (Yeah she doesn't like me wearing white either.) As I tried to no avail to explain it was for a charity and I'm helping the poor and Africa she just brushed it off.
It became worse when she discovered I was sending emails as a member online of MPH to Tony Blair and other people and she even went to the extent of saying he might come down on our family and bring problems to us as he was, well, the Prime Minister. Again I tried to explain that there are many other people doing this, I doubt he would and it is my opinion that we should speak out against what you think is wrong etc. She told me to shut up and I'm too young to know anything (16 now) and she's my mum and knows more.........

There are many other things, she doesn't like gay or lesbianic people, and is racist to an extent, doesn't agree with speaking out her own views unless it involves herself etc. It's hard and harder to make her see my views, or at least try to understand my views if she doesn't agree. When I think about it, it's weird to think I've grown up so different to what I could have been, and Thank god.
I don't mind not wearing something she doesn't agree with, it's more my views and her trying to change them, and her wanting me to wear something I'm not comfortable in.

Sometimes I think it's because shes never really been educated, but even so... I think what I've been trying to say is how can I make her accept my views and leave me to live my life at least if she doesn't agree?

I just realised I've gone very off-topic, so if you want to move this or something thats fine. Oops.

Immortal_Death · 06-28-2006, 03:07 AM

My dad's stereotypes for Goths/Punk/Emo are Gang/street fights.....It's sad... He also thinks I took drugs..

gothicchk660 · 06-28-2006, 11:06 AM

My Parents Don't Know Either, Considering They Would Disown Me If They Did. Or They Would Send Me To Therapy. That's My Parents, But Why Tell Them If You Don't Want To?? If You Do, Go For It. I Don't Know How So Follow Someone Else's Advise For That. I Don't Think You Should Worry About It.

romanticsuicide · 06-28-2006, 12:53 PM

Okay, a little discription is needed here. I live with my grandparents because my mom's a bitch. But now that that's over, my take. Okay, I started to gradually change my wardrobe to match my personality. My grandma noticed, and I am now currently forbidden to buy any more black clothes. And she left that rule with the line "My granddaughter is not going to become some gothic freak." That alone pissed me off. I was tempted to scream, "I already am!" But I thought better of that, and I made the decision that day, that on my eighteenth birthday, I am out of this hell hole.

Godslayer Jillian · 06-28-2006, 02:39 PM

It's not a hellhole only because you can't dress like you want to.
Try this: Tell them you're becoming either Victorian or Bohemian (both styles found within the gothic subculture, but not subject to specifically goths)
If you're becoming Bohemian, try wearing black, white, and brown clothes. Start with not too much black, and stop when you reach a 50% of your clothes being black. The look must be a simple, intellectual one, like simple black pants with a turtle neck (never band t-shirts). You never mention gothicism, and start talking a lot about art for art's sake.

In the Victorian style, you dress more elegant, and actually use colors such as white and red more than black. It might not be the best choice, since it's obscenely expensive, but you cannot say "I'm not a goth; I'm Victorian. I don't want to be confused with those Hot Topic kids."

romanticsuicide · 06-28-2006, 06:01 PM

Thank you so much Godslayer. But there are parts of this you don't understand. It IS a hellhole, but not because I can't dress that way. Simply put, I feel this way about where I live because I cannot express any opinion without getting grounded, or being told I'm stupid. And whenever I say "I don't want to." to any suggestion, I get a major guilt trip. Not that I'm complaining. I'm stating fact. I'd much rather be here than with my mother. But once again, thanks for the advice, and I'll be sure and try it.

Lost&Confused14 · 07-03-2006, 07:05 PM

My parents don't support the goth style and i'm the only one in my family who is into that stuff and i have to live with two damn preps (aahhhh)(younger sis,11, share a room w/ and older sis,20. can't stand it. HHEEEELPPP!!!!! and my mom picks on my style all the time which really pisses me off she always says that that red eyeshadow is too bright or why are you wearing black lipstick (in a rude way, just want to slap her for it) and she always says why do you want that or those (love these boots at hot topic, she doesn't like em, but hey she's old and doesn't understand the style or attitude or anything). none of my fam. supports my style. (AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!! SHOOT ME PLEAZ) god my family pisses me off. and whats worse is my mom completely despises MM (love him and his music and style) and she won't let me listen to his music BUT my one friends got me one of his cds for my b-day and brought it into school and my mom still hasn't found out bout it (this was back in feb. too.HA! now what are going to do about that mom!!! woooo!!!!!) and anyone who thinks marilyn manson isn't a goth, THINK AGAIN i mean he has got the style and definetly the attitude(very important). someone moron on some site said he wasn't and that is how this came.

Lost&Confused14 · 07-03-2006, 07:12 PM

Hey Godslayer what's wrong with Hot Topic?

happy_dude · 07-03-2006, 07:13 PM

Could you please improve your spelling, grammar, punctuation and please use the Shift key appropriately. Manson is not Goth, he is a modernist who eloquently pokes fun at popular culture.
Just explain why you do what you do in a nice orderly manner, Goth isn't about what you wear it's what's in your head.
http://blood-dance.net/goth/grant.html

happy_dude · 07-03-2006, 07:25 PM

I thought it was a thousand monkey on a thousand typewriters for a thousand years could write a Shakespeare.
If it's about what you wear I am the antithesis of Goth, FEAR ME!

happy_dude · 07-03-2006, 07:31 PM

Applause! *clappity clap clap*

I found that amusing, well the "I'm here all night" bit anyway.

LusciousLenae · 07-31-2006, 01:29 PM

My parents didn't care if I was into goth.

My mom wanted me to make my own decisions. My mom would always take me and my sister on shopping sprees during Halloween.

My dad tells me I have never been normal...LOL

PersephoneX · 07-31-2006, 10:36 PM

my parents are ok with my sibling and my lifestyle choices...theystepped in when the guy i was with tried to kill me. they were pretty surprised when i told them i was into girls...but they got over it and now when they meet my girlfriends they're ok with it...they freaked out when i had my neck pierced four times, they even ripped out the barbells...but they got over that too...and now they buy my tissue oil!
look, my point is, your folks know they raised good people. they're just a little slow at admitting it...sit em down and do that talking thing...and things fall into place...
ok...i'm done with the doctor phil crap!

cradle · 08-01-2006, 06:17 AM

Never heard of getting a neck peirced, I'm getting snakebite rings when I get old enough.

Crying_Crimson_Tears · 08-01-2006, 08:36 AM

Don't tell them, let them find out and bitch and whine then. Well htey may not bitch and whine. My dad didn't. He helps me buy my clothes and shit. Just leave it be, I'm sure they'll grow into you being "goth" or whatever you wanna sterotype yourself.

PersephoneX · 08-01-2006, 09:32 PM

cradle, they pierce the nape of your neck...it feels very nice...

Just_me23 · 08-14-2006, 03:40 AM

I try to but thay are all like what ever. i got VERY sterotypical parents. wether its a a scene,a race,or the way somebody dresses thay got a stereo type for it.

cradle · 08-14-2006, 06:19 AM

Dress like a clown and see what happens.

honeythorn · 08-14-2006, 11:39 AM

dear god NO!!!! not the clowns!!!!!! * RUNS AWAY* clowns scare me.

Solumina · 08-14-2006, 11:56 AM

same here, damn clowns

xXxLeeseXxX · 08-14-2006, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PersephoneX

my parents are ok with my sibling and my lifestyle choices...theystepped in when the guy i was with tried to kill me. they were pretty surprised when i told them i was into girls...but they got over it and now when they meet my girlfriends they're ok with it...they freaked out when i had my neck pierced four times, they even ripped out the barbells...but they got over that too...and now they buy my tissue oil!
look, my point is, your folks know they raised good people. they're just a little slow at admitting it...sit em down and do that talking thing...and things fall into place...
ok...i'm done with the doctor phil crap!

sweet i've never seen neck peircings, my freind said that i should get neck peircings, maybe on my neck? but yeah *plans on looking up pics for neck peircings*

Solumina · 08-14-2006, 02:42 PM

*poke**poke* you may want to go make an introduction so that we can get to know you a little better (and so that you can avoid getting yelled at by some of the other members)

BADSEED · 08-15-2006, 07:29 AM

You simply sit them down and explain to them how you hate god.