Introduction - Page 2

Naunet · 09-29-2011, 02:04 PM

And I understand that fully now that someone's finally had the kindness to dispell the myths.

To be honest, I came onto this forum expecting that people would be more than willing to state it like that--as the term "goth" really is. I fully expected that people would be more matter-of-fact about it the way you just explained it. But what do I get instead? I get something that feels like I'm being talked down at like I'm some sort of four-year-old.

I actually do know how to make friends. When it's face-to-face, I can make friends just fine. But when it comes to the internet, I'm a lot more autistic than I am face-to-face.

Kasdeja · 09-29-2011, 02:08 PM

If you feel like you're being talked down to, I'm truly sorry. I just want your stay here with us to be a good one.

Naunet · 09-29-2011, 02:09 PM

Not everyone is that type of person, which I'm glad to see. It's just very frustrating when you're constantly in the minority no matter where you go.

Elystan · 09-29-2011, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kasdeja

Not at all! However, some people are targets for no reason and their function is to pick apart everything you say and then some.
But no, there should be a certain amount of civility on this forum.

Elystan's a good guy... He just seems to want to clarify a few things. Am I right, Ely?

Someone told me earlier that I don't qualify as nice because it takes more than just not being mean to be nice.

But no, I am in fact hoping to provide this newcomer with guidance. I'm a great believer in freedom of speech and I don't think we should censor ourselves or hold back in any way. If you have something unpleasant you want to say to someone, you should say it. If they don't want to expose themselves to the risk of hearing unpleasant things they should stay away from areas where free speech is permitted.

Other peoples impressions can be tricky to manage and first impressions often stick, and I don't think you'll be shaking the racist apologist label any time soon. Personally I'm quite happy with the way I've been received, if a little disappointed in the lack of vitality round here.

Kasdeja · 09-29-2011, 02:11 PM

I completely understand that, sweetie.

Naunet · 09-29-2011, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elystan

Someone told me earlier that I don't qualify as nice because it takes more than just not being mean to be nice.

But no, I am in fact hoping to provide this newcomer with guidance. I'm a great believer in freedom of speech and I don't think we should censor ourselves or hold back in any way. If you have something unpleasant you want to say to someone, you should say it. If they don't want to expose themselves to the risk of hearing unpleasant things they should stay away from areas where free speech is permitted.

Other peoples impressions can be tricky to manage and first impressions often stick, and I don't think you'll be shaking the racist apologist label any time soon. Personally I'm quite happy with the way I've been received, if a little disappointed in the lack of vitality round here.

In the way you explained it in the post before last, it was actually pretty good guidance. And ultimately I do appreciate it that your intentions are good.

As for whether or not I really am "privileged", the only way I can see that I'm "privileged" is that different types of people need things explained to them differently. I didn't think I was being privileged in attitude except to tell people that how someone would explain it to someone without autism may be taken the wrong way by someone who does have autism.

P.S. Where did racist apologist come from?

Elystan · 09-29-2011, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Naunet

In the way you explained it in the post before last, it was actually pretty good guidance. And ultimately I do appreciate it that your intentions are good.

As for whether or not I really am "privileged", the only way I can see that I'm "privileged" is that different types of people need things explained to them differently. I didn't think I was being privileged in attitude except to tell people that how someone would explain it to someone without autism may be taken the wrong way by someone who does have autism.

P.S. Where did racist apologist come from?

That part was directed at Kasdeja.

An example of the 'privilege' I spoke of (probably not the best word I do admit) was the self righteous way you publicly posted that you were reporting members for rudeness. You see, I sincerely doubt anyone cares. Like I explained earlier, it can be a touchy area to start talking about a 'gothic subculture' to a bunch of goths because they're.. well you know, misunderstood.

You can ask for special treatment by all means but you can't go through life expecting people to give it to you. Except people as a rule to tear you down as often as they can, and prepare yourself to be able to deal with it, don't go appealing to higher authorities. Getting in to law school is great and it's a step in the right direction but you probably don't yet realise how much harder life is going to get for you as an adult.

By all means explain things when you have to but disadvantages are things to be mitigated rather than excuses to be given. This might seem a bit harsh coming from someone who doesn't have the exact same problem but it's better to learn to be able to do a good impression of coping well than starting out by telling everyone you might not be able to cope.

Kasdeja · 09-29-2011, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elystan

Other peoples impressions can be tricky to manage and first impressions often stick, and I don't think you'll be shaking the racist apologist label any time soon. Personally I'm quite happy with the way I've been received, if a little disappointed in the lack of vitality round here.

I don't care if they think I'm a racist... I'm not, and I know the truth about my own feelings, so if that's what they want to think, then let them. They have no clue.

Naunet · 09-29-2011, 02:44 PM

I get what you're saying intellectually, but it's a hell of a lot easier said than done. I don't exactly suffer fools easily.

I guess that's what my journal is really for.

Elystan · 09-29-2011, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Naunet

I get what you're saying intellectually, but it's a hell of a lot easier said than done. I don't exactly suffer fools easily.

I guess that's what my journal is really for.

Oh I'm sure, but I'm glad you've acknowledged it. There are some things that take years to overcome, and it's better to confront them sooner rather than later. Just keep doing your best, and eventually you'll get better at it.

Naunet · 09-29-2011, 03:20 PM

Believe me--it takes a lot of work. It took me my entire 22 years of being alive just to get where I am right now. And I do see that if anyone needs to confront it now it's me. I didn't decide to do all I've done for nothing.

Kasdeja · 09-29-2011, 03:39 PM

I'm glad to hear you're taking a step in the right direction, Naunet. That makes me happy.

Naunet · 09-29-2011, 03:52 PM

I'm happy about it too.

Apathy's_Child · 09-30-2011, 04:01 AM

For the love of god, don't take social interaction tips from these guys. Kasdeja outed herself as a racist and now spends her time here ass-kissing newbies and any other unpopular posters she thinks might still befriend her. Elystan actually kind of cracks me up on occasion, but is deeply immature and, again, not exactly flavor of the month round with most of the guys here. Just dive into the threads - you'll soon learn what's up and if this is a place you want to be.

Solumina · 09-30-2011, 11:39 AM

Please learn to take a joke, I know that it can be difficult for you to gauge the tone of words typed up on a page but try not to let your feathers get ruffled by anything that could potentially be an insult. What Graus said was not meant to offend, it was a funny way of saying that the subculture is all about the music and that the best way to figure things out is to expose yourself to as much of that music as possible. This is a place full of sarcasm and whit, I don't think you will enjoy your time here if you take everything so personally or if you interpret things in the worst possible light.

Naunet · 09-30-2011, 03:11 PM

That was actually a bad thing to say. Yes, it was well intentioned--but still a bad thing to say.

Naunet · 09-30-2011, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solumina

Please learn to take a joke, I know that it can be difficult for you to gauge the tone of words typed up on a page but try not to let your feathers get ruffled by anything that could potentially be an insult. What Graus said was not meant to offend, it was a funny way of saying that the subculture is all about the music and that the best way to figure things out is to expose yourself to as much of that music as possible. This is a place full of sarcasm and whit, I don't think you will enjoy your time here if you take everything so personally or if you interpret things in the worst possible light.

As if that wasn't already obvious by now.

I should never have said that I was on the spectrum. If I had known that people around here like using sarcasm, I would never have said something so retardedly personal.

And with that, I would appreciate it if people stop posting to this thread.

Kasdeja · 09-30-2011, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child

For the love of god, don't take social interaction tips from these guys. Kasdeja outed herself as a racist and now spends her time here ass-kissing newbies and any other unpopular posters she thinks might still befriend her. Elystan actually kind of cracks me up on occasion, but is deeply immature and, again, not exactly flavor of the month round with most of the guys here. Just dive into the threads - you'll soon learn what's up and if this is a place you want to be.

First of all... I'm not a racist. And I will not be stopped. Think what you want.
I'm done arguing with you.