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| Introductions This is a forum for members (new and old) to introduce themselves and get to know each other. Start a new thread and introduce yourself. Tell us a little about what you like and what you are into and such. |
05-03-2011, 10:08 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,185
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only one path to heaven
I am writing you to proclaim to you that there is only one path to heaven, and it is the prayer of salvation!!tell everyone you know!! All You have to do is believe in Jesus Christ! I only wish for anyone who reads this message to pray,and to pray with me!! I mean what would it hurt to pray? you only have to pray this one simple prayer, and the bible say's that whosoever shall call upon the name of the lord shall be saved, that's a definite shall be forever saved forever which means you are destined to go to heaven. Just plz pray with me this one simple prayer. Lord Jesus I believe in you Lord I know I can't save myself, will you plz save me I know I'm a sinner Jesus, but I believe you died on the cross for my sins, and that God the father rose you, christ the son of God from the dead after 3 days Plz forgive me of my sins Jesus! I accept you as my personal Lord, and savior. I pray this in your name amen !!!!!!! remember Jesus loves you, also how to pray is simple you pray by speaking with your mouth while believing in your heart. Also free gift of eternal life if you believe
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05-03-2011, 10:57 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Dude, I don't even know where I live anymore.
Posts: 1,276
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pothead
I am writing you to proclaim to you that there is only one path to heaven, and it is not the prayer of salvation!!tell everyone you know!! All You have to do is have sexual relations with Jesus Christ! I only wish for anyone who reads this message to fuck,and to fuck me!! I mean what would it hurt to have homosexual feelings? you only have to do this one simple thing, and the bible say's that whosoever shall cup the balls of the lord shall be saved, that's a definite shall be forever saved forever which means you are destined to go to heaven. Just plz do with me this one simple thing. Lord Jesus I believe in you Lord I know I can't satisfy myself, will you plz save me I know I'm a bad boy Jesus, and that God the father rose you, christ the son of God from the dead after 3 days Plz forgive me of my sins Jesus! I accept you as my personal Lord, and lover. I pray this in your name amen !!!!!!! remember Jesus loves you, also how to pray is simple you pray by moving your mouth while flicking your tounge. Also free gift of eternal life if you swallow
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fuck no....
__________________
Caution, I may bite.
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05-06-2011, 11:10 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,185
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for god so loved the world he gave his only begotten son that whosoever belevith in him shall not perish but have everlastung life
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05-08-2011, 03:22 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,185
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jesus loves everyone,
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05-09-2011, 07:49 AM
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#6
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Gallifrey
Posts: 2,817
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If Jesus loved me he would give me a bonus so i can make rent instead of providing a new house to my overpayed boss.
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05-09-2011, 10:01 AM
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#7
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 416
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pineapple_juice
if jesus loved me he would give me a bonus so i can make rent instead of providing a new house to my overpayed boss.
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pj for the win.
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05-09-2011, 10:02 AM
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#8
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,548
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PJ is made of win. I accept her as my sexy saviour.
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05-09-2011, 10:37 AM
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#9
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 416
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saya
PJ is made of win. I accept her as my sexy saviour.
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I accept as well, especially if she is MADE of win.
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05-09-2011, 02:26 PM
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#10
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: New York City
Posts: 190
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pothead
jesus loves everyone,
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Does that include even Lucifer?
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05-09-2011, 02:27 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: A ship called Dignity
Posts: 1,919
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The path to heaven is up the poop chute. Or so I'm told.
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I am your slice of pie
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05-09-2011, 02:38 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: New York City
Posts: 190
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Really, and who told you that, your pastor?  But geez, I feel like spamming more blasphemous Valor Kand songs now.
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05-09-2011, 02:40 PM
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#13
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: A ship called Dignity
Posts: 1,919
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Wait, what's a pastor? No I heard it from some guy who heard it from some other guy, who overheard a couple talking down by the river and they apparently heard it in the whisper of the trees. It's the secret to eternal youth as well. Or a colostomy bag, could be either one really.
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I am your slice of pie
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05-09-2011, 03:29 PM
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#14
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Smexyville, Colorado
Posts: 2,424
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Why is this in introductions? If your religion has made you this retarded and illiterate I will have to pass...again ... some more.
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******
Be Kind
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05-09-2011, 05:59 PM
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#15
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,185
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this is in the introductions because I am introducing people to jesus.. that is why
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05-09-2011, 06:00 PM
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#16
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,185
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jesus even loves satan. although satan doesn't know love
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05-09-2011, 08:23 PM
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#17
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: New York City
Posts: 190
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Thank you, but I know Jesus pretty well already. The two of us actually have some pretty fun times, shooting up shit together. 
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05-10-2011, 12:46 AM
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#18
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,185
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funny picture I like it
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05-10-2011, 03:01 PM
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#19
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 2,670
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PorlNecklace
Thank you, but I know Jesus pretty well already. The two of us actually have some pretty fun times, shooting up shit together. |
I could never find a vein for him. He'd get pissed and strike hookers.
__________________
You should talk you fugly, cat bashing, psychopathic urinal on two legs...
-Jack_the_knife
I don't hate you. Saying I hate you would be like saying I hate a dog with no legs trying to cross a busy freeway.
-Mr. Filth
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05-14-2011, 12:43 AM
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#20
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,185
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remember jesus loves you
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05-19-2011, 10:19 PM
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#21
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,185
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Jesus is the only hope on the earth, for anyone that wants to live forever they should accept jesus. Jesus is the only peace I have
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05-23-2011, 09:02 AM
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#22
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Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 5
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Of course Jesus may love me. But I think each human are his own god... Try to understand: if I have some wish, usually I execute this wish with myself. "God" is just suitable philosophic category that means "absolutely powerful", and nothing more... IMHO, of course.
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05-23-2011, 06:27 PM
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#23
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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Why is this thread still going.
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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