First attempt, feel free to criticize

[XtinaCng]

i'm new to this site and after checking out a few of the poems in here I decided to post some of mine. This is the first one, I hope I can get some honest feedback, specially if it's to say how bad it is or to correct my english grammar (i'm not joking).....
Here it goes:



Home alone

That wall just moved!
I feel hunted... pursued
There's a shade above my entity,
a distortion in my reality
I get visions, hallucinations,
my world moves on wrong vibrations
There are obstacles in my course
They hang on like a curse
I can see my world collapsing
I feel so numb... I'm not reacting
Then I get this odd sensation
and I feel this strange commotion
Something is crawling underneath
I can feel it somewhere beneath
Wanting to **** off my skin
and then make me fall in sin
But I'm strong, I can silent it
But I'm weak, I can't fight it
I just let it stay hidden
and remain a deaden maiden...

[Vilentina]

Struggling hard... is it correct?
I'm not a native so I could not give much advice but I feel that the beats are not strong enough... And it rhymes a bit too perfect so the feel of lack of beat is more obvious... Personal opinion only.

[Ami]

I like the paranoia theme