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12-03-2006, 10:56 AM
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#126
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: the eternal suburbs
Posts: 654
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Because the other fruits are always kicking their asses!
Why does canned lemonade taste so nasty?
__________________
According to an article in USA Today, children from single parent homes have much better verbal skills than children from two parent homes. However, children from two parent homes are far superior at bitterly sarcastic repertoire.
I'd love to see crowds of kids running away from a greased naked guy with Jesus hair.--c130
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12-03-2006, 11:15 AM
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#127
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
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Because the metal can stimulates the latent microbes in the lemonade, causing them to multiply rapidly, so when you drink canned lemonade, you are devouring billions of germs!!! XD
Why do we have to grow old?
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12-03-2006, 12:29 PM
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#128
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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People only grow old when they're not having orgasms.
So if one wants to stay young, masturbate and go have lots of sex with everyone.
Free love for the win! 
Why does Paper_Wings' panda look so marshmellowy?
__________________
"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.
I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin
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Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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12-03-2006, 01:07 PM
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#129
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: U.K
Posts: 1,858
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Because it swallowed a cloud.
Why do dogs like to sniff other animals bums?
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12-03-2006, 02:02 PM
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#130
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 1,696
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To know if they're the culprit who ate their Honey Nut Cheerios that morning.
Why do cats lick themselves?
__________________
"Don't ever let anybody teach you to think, Lance: it is the curse of the world." - King Arthur in T.H. White's The Once And Future King
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" The Bible (Matthew 7:12)
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12-03-2006, 02:10 PM
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#131
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
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Being natural predators, if there are no birds or rodents to stalk and kill, they resort to devouring the mites and microbes infesting their fur to satisfy their bloodthirst!
Are dogs actually smiling because they are happy?
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12-03-2006, 02:58 PM
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#132
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 15
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Yes, dogs are actually smiling because they are happy. Always. HAPPY.
Why do the seams on socks go on the inside, where it's uncomfortable?
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12-03-2006, 03:08 PM
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#133
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,421
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because if your toes were comfortable, they'd swell to the size of your fist.
Why does ROAR sound dumb opposed to RAWR?
__________________
You ain't no punk, you punk; you wanna talk about the real junk?
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12-03-2006, 04:20 PM
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#134
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 1,696
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Because everyone knows there are no lions on G.net, only AIDS -- I mean, goths >_>
Why is Diablo 2 such an addictive game, even though it pretty much sucks?
__________________
"Don't ever let anybody teach you to think, Lance: it is the curse of the world." - King Arthur in T.H. White's The Once And Future King
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" The Bible (Matthew 7:12)
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12-03-2006, 05:53 PM
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#135
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Los Angeles!
Posts: 499
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Because when you die on a character that can cost $400 on the internet and then cry for weeks afterwards and train for revenge on the motherfucker who fucking killed your guy, life becomes so much sweeter as you dance on his grave.
Why is it I'm still level 31 after 12 months of playing World of Warcraft?
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Swish swish swish...Vavoom!
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12-03-2006, 05:56 PM
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#136
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 1,696
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Because you SHOULD be playing the Tower Defenses on Warcraft III.
Why are MMORPGs such fun?
__________________
"Don't ever let anybody teach you to think, Lance: it is the curse of the world." - King Arthur in T.H. White's The Once And Future King
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" The Bible (Matthew 7:12)
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12-03-2006, 07:03 PM
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#137
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: elsewhere
Posts: 2,015
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Because they embed essence of Siren into the coding.
Why am I so sleepy today?
__________________
Twinkle, twinkle, little bat
How I wonder where you're at.
Up above the world you fly
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
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12-03-2006, 08:02 PM
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#138
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 1,696
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Because you spent your time sleeping on a bus, which is never that comfortable.
Why do polar bears appear white?
__________________
"Don't ever let anybody teach you to think, Lance: it is the curse of the world." - King Arthur in T.H. White's The Once And Future King
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" The Bible (Matthew 7:12)
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12-03-2006, 09:16 PM
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#139
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: the eternal suburbs
Posts: 654
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Because they have the ULTIMATE camouflage that allows them to blend in with their surroundings... if they lived in the rain forests, they'd be green!
Why do scabs itch when they're healing?
__________________
According to an article in USA Today, children from single parent homes have much better verbal skills than children from two parent homes. However, children from two parent homes are far superior at bitterly sarcastic repertoire.
I'd love to see crowds of kids running away from a greased naked guy with Jesus hair.--c130
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12-03-2006, 09:46 PM
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#140
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: elsewhere
Posts: 2,015
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Because they don't want to heal, so they protest.
Why can I never remember to exfoliate in the shower?
__________________
Twinkle, twinkle, little bat
How I wonder where you're at.
Up above the world you fly
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
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12-04-2006, 12:39 PM
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#141
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 1,696
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Because subconsciously you wish to be covered in dry, dead skin. Makes for a nice touch to any meal.
Why do dubbed animes suck so much?
__________________
"Don't ever let anybody teach you to think, Lance: it is the curse of the world." - King Arthur in T.H. White's The Once And Future King
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" The Bible (Matthew 7:12)
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12-04-2006, 02:43 PM
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#142
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: the eternal suburbs
Posts: 654
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Because some feeble-minded American translator/subtitler thinks "Hey, this is my opportunity to show the world that I'm funny!!" Sad thing is--they're not.
How come no one ever notices that the TV screen is DUSTY as HELL(!!) except your mother in law?
__________________
According to an article in USA Today, children from single parent homes have much better verbal skills than children from two parent homes. However, children from two parent homes are far superior at bitterly sarcastic repertoire.
I'd love to see crowds of kids running away from a greased naked guy with Jesus hair.--c130
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12-04-2006, 03:16 PM
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#143
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Your back pocket!
Posts: 347
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Because she has special eggs that she keeps in her dresser next to her panties. They give her the ability to see things people don't notice, or don't want to. It boosts her ego by telling people they're dirty little toes who need a spanking!
Why are acorns called acorns?
__________________
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that ...
Author: George Carlin
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12-04-2006, 03:29 PM
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#144
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 204
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Because the originally were called aKoRns, but some gay band no one's heard suid them for copyright infringement.
Why do I always burn my toast?
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12-04-2006, 03:44 PM
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#145
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 1,696
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Because you're cooking it with a massive NOVA laser--a laser used to reproduce the conditions of the sun--rather than a toaster.
Why doesn't Norton Virus Protection make condoms?
__________________
"Don't ever let anybody teach you to think, Lance: it is the curse of the world." - King Arthur in T.H. White's The Once And Future King
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" The Bible (Matthew 7:12)
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12-04-2006, 03:57 PM
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#146
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Your back pocket!
Posts: 347
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Because, like it says in your sig, everyone would be pregnant, and then everyone would be getting an abortion and giving up their fetuses to stem stell research and dead babies will overflow the population and consumn the earth and deprive the world of oxygen and we'd all die! And the babies left alive on the eath will mutate and breed and we'd all be born again. And then we will all get pregnant and this would all happen again.
Who invented the "muffin"?
__________________
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that ...
Author: George Carlin
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12-04-2006, 04:19 PM
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#147
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 15
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The Americans, sometime in the 19th century, with the help of baking powder. They weren't very practical though, because they dried out so quickly. (It wasn't until the 50's that they started being packaged and sold as junk food.)
That's assuming you're talking about the Mushroom-shaped muffin?
Because the English Muffin was invented by the Muffin Man, of course.
Why is getting hurt more painful in the winter than in the summer?
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12-04-2006, 07:14 PM
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#148
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 204
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Because everyone knows that frozen squirrels cause a lot more pain than melted squirrels.
Why do people insist that we wear socks?????
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12-04-2006, 08:35 PM
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#149
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 1,696
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It would look rather odd if we all wore underwear on our feet instead.
How much wood does a woodchuck chuck?
__________________
"Don't ever let anybody teach you to think, Lance: it is the curse of the world." - King Arthur in T.H. White's The Once And Future King
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" The Bible (Matthew 7:12)
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12-05-2006, 05:42 PM
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#150
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 34
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By licking his nose hairs and then blowing as hard as he can out of his nose.
Why do dogs tilt their head when they hear something?
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