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General General questions and meet 'n greet and welcome! |
01-16-2008, 05:33 AM
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#1
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 1,178
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Atheist bumper sticker ideas.
This presentation brought to you by the Evil International Atheist Conspiracy.
Copied verbatim from elsewhere. Don't ask me why the apostrophes have become superscripted numeral ones (or why Poe's name is spelled incorrectly).
1. Abstinence Makes the Church Grow Fondlers.
2. Honk If Your Religious Beliefs Make You An Asshole.
3. Intelligent Design Makes My Monkey Cry.
4. Too Stupid to Understand Science? Try Religion.
5. There's A REASON Why Atheists Don't Fly Planes Into Buildings.
6. "Worship Me or I Will Torture You Forever. Have a Nice Day." --God.
7. God Doesnąt Kill People. People Who Believe in God Kill People.
8. If There is No God, Then What Makes the Next Kleenex Pop Up?
9. He's Dead. It's Been 2,000 years. He's Not Coming Back. Get OVER It Already!
10. All religion is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry. --Edgar Allen Poe.
11. Viva La Evolución!
12. Actually, If You Look It Up, The Winter Solstice Is The Reason For The Season.
13. I Wouldnąt Trust Your God Even If He Did Exist.
14. Cheeses Is Lard. Argue With THAT If You Can.
15. People Who Don't Want Their Beliefs Laughed at Shouldn't Have Such Funny Beliefs.
16. Jesus is Coming? Donąt Swallow That.
17. Threatening Children With Hell Is FUN!
18. GOD. - APPLY DIRECTLY TO FOREHEAD!
19. Jesus Told Me Republicans SUCK.
20. God + Whacky Tobacky = Platypus
21. God Doesn't Exist. So, I Guess That Means No One Loves You.
22. When the Rapture Comes * We'll Get Our Country Back!
23. Q. How Do We Know the Holy Ghost Was Catholic?
A. He Used the Rhythm Method Instead of a Condom.
24. You Say "Heretic" Like It Was a BAD Thing.
25. I Love Christians. They Taste Like Chicken.
26. Science: It Works, Bitches.
27. "Intelligent Design" -- Helping Stupid People Feel Smart Since 1987.
28. I Found God Between The Sheets.
29. I Gave Up Superstitious Mumbo Jumbo For Lent.
30. My Flying Monkey Can Beat Up Your Guardian Angel.
31. Every Time You Play With Yourself, God Kills a Kitten.
32. If God Wanted People to Believe in Him, Then Why Did He Invent Logic?
33. Praying Is Politically Correct Schizophrenia.
34. ALL Americans Are African Americans.
35. I Forget - Which Day Did God Make All The Fossils?
36. I Was An Atheist Until The Hindus Convinced Me That I Was God.
37. The Spanish Inquisition: The Original Faith-based Initiative
38. If We Were Made In His Image, Then Why Arenąt Humans Invisible Too?
39. JESUS SAVES....You From Thinking For Yourself.
40. How Can You Disbelieve in Evolution If You Can't Even Define It?
41. Q. How Can You Tell That Your God is Man-made?
A. If He Hates All the Same People You Do.
42. Every Time You See a Rainbow, God is Having Gay Sex.
43. I Went to Public School in Kansas and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt and a Poor Understanding of the Scientific Method.
44. WWJD = We Won. Jesus Died.
45. The Family That Prays Together is Brainwashing the Children.
46. Oh, Look, Honey Another Pro-lifer For War.
47. Another Godless Atheist for Peace and World Harmony
48. God is Unavailable Right Now. Can I Help You?
49. When Lip Service to Some Mysterious Deity Permits Bestiality on Wednesday and Absolution on Sundays.Cash Me Out. --Frank Sinatra
50. No Gods. No Mullets.
Drake
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01-16-2008, 05:45 AM
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#2
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NoVA
Posts: 5,290
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drake Dun
12. Actually, If You Look It Up, The Winter Solstice Is The Reason For The Season.
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I LOVE THIS ONE!
lmao..
__________________
Autonomy Not Uniformity
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01-16-2008, 05:48 AM
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#3
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: HELL!!!!
Posts: 359
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I have seen "Partnership for a God-free America."
Then there's this jackass who blatantly blocks an alley by my place now and then with his van. He has a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I'm Jesus." I'm tempted to put a note on it that says, "How about if I honk because I think you're the asshole who blocks this alley?"
__________________
Shadows and dust.
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01-16-2008, 07:05 AM
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#4
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drake Dun
42. Every Time You See a Rainbow, God is Having Gay Sex.
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hehehe this one is my favorite ^.^
__________________
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
-Carbon Leaf
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01-16-2008, 07:07 AM
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#5
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NoVA
Posts: 5,290
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That one was my second favorite..
__________________
Autonomy Not Uniformity
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01-16-2008, 07:29 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada, BC
Posts: 1,949
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"Worship Me or I Will Torture You Forever. Have a Nice Day." --God.
FTWWWWWW
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Better to be strong than pretty and useless
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01-16-2008, 07:40 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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Ever seen the fish similar to the Christian fish but with the words DARWIN in it?
I think my idea is better:
A fish (with legs or no legs, doesn't matter) that says "FISH"
It's like "BAM" and that's it.
It's like saying "It's not your savior, it's a goddamn fish"
Anyone else find it funny or Oh my God am I here all alone? Because something is happening and you don't know what it is. Do you, Mr. Jones?
__________________
"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.
I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin
Quote:
Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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01-16-2008, 07:42 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada, BC
Posts: 1,949
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It's amusing
but not hilarous
__________________
Better to be strong than pretty and useless
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01-16-2008, 07:54 PM
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#9
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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True. Fair enough.
__________________
"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.
I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin
Quote:
Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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01-16-2008, 07:57 PM
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#10
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 951
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Graveyard.Crow
It's amusing
but not hilarous
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Well your amusing
but not hilarous(whatever that word is)..so there!!
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01-16-2008, 08:17 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: HELL!!!!
Posts: 359
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Relating to all of those fish things where one is eating another, I loved one that I saw long ago, I think on the web somewhere, that was a big monstrous fangy shark. Pretty much the final word on big fish and little fish. Which is not to say that I am an atheist.
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Shadows and dust.
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01-16-2008, 08:26 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: At work.
Posts: 842
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"My God's better than yourrrr God..."
I wonder if Jesus ever told the other kids in his school "My dad can beat up your dad!"
JESUS SAVES... because he shops at WALMART!!!
I actually have a friend who does not believe dinosaurs ever existed. Fossils are a hoax to her.
Put God in one hand and shit in the other...
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6.
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01-16-2008, 09:11 PM
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#13
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: HELL!!!!
Posts: 359
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I hope you didn't misinterpret my post. It's probably not worth trying to explain where I'm coming from though. El oh well! Then there's the graffitti I came across long ago, "Jesus slaves." And my own term for televangelists is Hellevangelists, although that could simply be applied to promoting a... different belief system altogether.
__________________
Shadows and dust.
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01-16-2008, 09:38 PM
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#14
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 1,178
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian
A fish (with legs or no legs, doesn't matter) that says "FISH"
It's like "BAM" and that's it.
It's like saying "It's not your savior, it's a goddamn fish"
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Heh heh. I like it.
Drake
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01-16-2008, 09:55 PM
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#15
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada, BC
Posts: 1,949
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian
True. Fair enough.
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But I still want to see a shirt like that
__________________
Better to be strong than pretty and useless
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01-17-2008, 03:46 AM
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#16
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
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I saw the fish style emblem on a car that was a rocket ship with fins.
Drake: loved it, had me laughing at 3:30 AM, not easy to do.
Regarding the science based one liners: An Islamic scientist from a few centuries ago said "the Qur'an tells how to get to heaven, not how the heavens go"
or something like that.
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01-17-2008, 05:40 AM
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#17
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Detroit
Posts: 706
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Hey now...Not ALL people that believe in religion are ignorant fools that don't believe in science. I'm Catholic and I'm in the Medical field (If I didn't understand Science, the world would be in A LOT OF TROUBLE). I don't do good things because a book tells me to, I do them because I want to. I believe in evolution and I don't shop at Wal-mart =D
Some of those were pretty funny, though.
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01-17-2008, 11:07 AM
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#18
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: In the Desert
Posts: 4,270
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Here's one I've been thinking of putting to use.
"I'm Athiest, so fuck you! In a non-sexual manner, of course."
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01-17-2008, 11:18 AM
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#19
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 67
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian
Anyone else find it funny or Oh my God am I here all alone?
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You see this eyeless cavefish shouting the word "Damnit!" And you say, "For what reason?" And he says "Who is it?" And you say, "What do you need?" And he screams back, "You're an idiot! Give me some eyes or else beat it. Because I know something is happening, but I don't know what it is, 'cause I'm blind as shit."
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01-17-2008, 06:09 PM
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#20
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Suburbiatown, Pennsylvania.
Posts: 2,124
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I think "Cthulhu" in a the jesus fish with face tendrils and wings works rather well. Amirite, How Low Can You Go Moe? Eh?
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CAN'T EVADE THOSE DEAD ZEN MEN
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01-17-2008, 08:10 PM
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#21
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 1,178
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HumanePain
Regarding the science based one liners: An Islamic scientist from a few centuries ago said "the Qur'an tells how to get to heaven, not how the heavens go" or something like that.
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If we could get religious people in general to take the same attitude, it would go a long way toward solving the problem.
Drake
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01-17-2008, 08:12 PM
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#22
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 67
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Haunted House
I think "Cthulhu" in a the jesus fish with face tendrils and wings works rather well. Amirite, How Low Can You Go Moe? Eh?
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Yeah, who's needs Christ when you have Cthulhu, and his apostles, Limozeen?
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01-18-2008, 06:04 PM
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#23
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 1,835
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Heh heh, that first one's pretty clever.
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01-19-2008, 08:58 AM
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#24
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: south north america
Posts: 447
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17. Threatening Children With Hell Is FUN!
that one is my favorite.
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01-19-2008, 05:19 PM
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#25
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,000
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If God Wanted People to Believe in Him, Then Why Did He Invent Logic?
I laughed my ass off at that one!
By the way, I am an Atheist.
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