Misery in my life, or at the moment.

Lady_Alyce · 10-04-2009, 10:56 AM

I've been stuck in misery for several months and I'm sick of myself. My therapist and I have been discussing my past and since then I've been having very bad nightmares and flashbacks about my past. They don't happen every night, but a couple of times a week. I don't really ever want to sleep again because I'm afraid of the nightmares. The flashbacks are vivid. I'm starting to hear voices again, which is a bad sign. I used to hear voices when I was little and I would run around the house searching for those who were speaking and I was too terrified to sleep.
My perfectionism is starting to kick in. I literally beat myself up when I mess up. I can't ever do anythng correctly. I'm too clumsy and too much of a nervous wreck. I'm growing reclusive again because I know I'll say the wrong thing and prove myself to be a complete idiot or I know I won't make it on time if I don't leave the house at a certain time, and I won't leave. I have to be the best or I am worthless. Its as though my pretty little life depends on being perfect. Be perfect or die. I'm just so stupid.
My friends seem to be turning into my enemies. I'm loosing my mind and succumbing to my fears. Blah.

creature6 · 10-04-2009, 11:03 AM

you are not stupid.it can happen to anybody.
i had a close friend who has been in the same situation.it's not something easy to live with.it took her more than a year for her not to be in the state you described.she had to put a fucking fight against it and learn to live with certain things.
feel free to ask me questions.
if you need to talk i'm also there.
it may not be much but still.

Lady_Alyce · 10-04-2009, 12:10 PM

In the end, what happened to your friend?
I can't help but feeling stupid. The emotion just seems to surge in my veins and it seems that there's nothing I can do about it. The voices also contribute.

creature6 · 10-04-2009, 03:49 PM

She was like you hearing voices ,she got scared to the point of not being able to go outside as she thought people were constantly watching her.
She was having some panic attack as well .
I spent a lot of time with her when she was like that.I didn't judge her and i didn't push her away.She started drinking and was already taking a lot of drugs which didn't help in the state that she was but it got worse as she was taking even more.
She eventually had to get help and went to have a rest for a few weeks in a place .
After she came out,she seemed alright but she was not cured .
She had to do it by herself and fight her fears that made her like that in the first place.
She gave up the drugs and alcohol that contributed to her being this way.
She would wake up everyday thinking that she will never get better but she did.
She got a job in the state that she was,started to socialize a bit and within a few months she was back to herself .
In her

Anarasha · 10-08-2009, 12:14 AM

I don't have a whole lot experiance like the kind Creature mentions, but I do wish you all the best.
Feel free to come on here and rant to us, I promise that I will read it and support you.

Catch · 10-11-2009, 06:51 PM

Here's some real advice. It involves a big Fuck You to some people making life difficult.

Life Crushing and Depression

http://www.webmd.com/depression/reco...ms/default.htm

smeghead · 10-17-2009, 06:58 PM

If you were hearing voices in the past, which stopped and are now comig back... well it sounds like it may be schizophrenia. No big deal. you can get a pill to mute them, but if that is the case , you may want ot change fron a therapist to a psychiatrist (which is a therapist who can proscribe medecine). schizophrenia is basically a disease which can affect anyone but tends to be brought on by stressful situations, if said people have a predeliction for it.

Regarding being afraid to say something wrong... you NEVER say something wrong if you are with the right people. If so called friends were to think you weree saying someting Wrong, then it's their problem, not yours....

RaverOfDarkness · 10-18-2009, 10:16 PM

Misery has been in my life since 2002. Nothing like the misery you seem to have. I don't hear voices or have nightmares. Hope you get better. Don't know how I lasted this long and how I'm lasting. Hope for things to go right for once I guess. I shouldn't have problems but for some reason, I do.

Lady_Alyce · 10-20-2009, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smeghead

If you were hearing voices in the past, which stopped and are now comig back... well it sounds like it may be schizophrenia. No big deal. you can get a pill to mute them, but if that is the case , you may want ot change fron a therapist to a psychiatrist (which is a therapist who can proscribe medecine). schizophrenia is basically a disease which can affect anyone but tends to be brought on by stressful situations, if said people have a predeliction for it.

I don't think I am schizophrenic. The voices don't tell me what to do or force me to do anything. Nor is there "another me" that is running around.

Saya · 10-20-2009, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady_Alyce

I don't think I am schizophrenic. The voices don't tell me what to do or force me to do anything. Nor is there "another me" that is running around.

schizophrenia and split personality disorder are two different things. Schizophrenics suffer from delusions and hallucinations (the most common kind being auditory). However for the love of god don't diagnose yourself, go to a therapist and see what they say.

smeghead · 10-21-2009, 02:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady_Alyce

I don't think I am schizophrenic. The voices don't tell me what to do or force me to do anything. Nor is there "another me" that is running around.

You are probably right...
from "auditoy hallucinations" on wikipedia...
although many people not suffering from diagnosable mental illness may sometimes hear voices as well

Check out this website, and especially their links page:
http://www.hearing-voices.org/