Rant Thread

[raggedyanne]

I have to do a project on Great Expectations. It's due in three weeks and I have yet to read the book. My shrink has decided go confuse me. My mom hates my guts for no apparent reason, and my dog ate my secret stash of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and he isn't even sick! He's just sitting on the couch next to me, smirking.

[Lucretia_my_Reflection]

I feel like ripping my hair out in big chunks today everyone is making me hurt and angry. My psychologists tells me not to do something and then my mum disagrees with what she tells me to do. Who do i listen to?, i can't find a job my sister gets it handed to her with a silver spoon in her mouth. She hasn't gone to a single fucking interview or given her resume' out at all. Maybe i should start being lazy as well then someone might give me a job argh. I have feel sick well i think most of that is self inflicted from last night. I wish everything could go as planned for once i wish it was easier but i never will be because i can't do anything right. I mean i was in the shower/doing my hair in the bathroom and my family thought i was cutting myself i mean fucking hell that was three years ago leave me alone argh.

I hope that was easily understandable if you did read it thank you.

[Crying_Crimson_Tears]

I have a headache and even though I love my baby niece terribly baby sitting her today was not that fun.

[HumanePain]

:: hands a couple Advil to Crimson ::

Here is my Rant:

WOULD EVERYONE PLEASE REMEMBER THE GOLDEN RULE? Treat others as you wish to be treated yourself.

Thank you. This has been a pubic service annulment.

[Vyvian Blackthorne]

Gah. I feel like ripping off an innocent childs' bollocks and feeding them to the dogs of Hell.

O liek tt1y

The The

Hah.
Goth Forever
Goth Forever
Goth Forever

[raggedyanne]

I feel like screaming to the world "FINE, I AM YOURS! DO WITH ME AS YOU WILL! YOU WIN, YOU SWINE. FORCING ME TO THE BRINK OF SANITY! FIE! FOUL EARTH, I BID YOU ADIOS PUTOS!"
As you can guess I am not in my right state of mind and there is no way I can talk about this with my therapist. She thinks she had me cured . . . fool. I'm going to go play with razors now.

[Crying_Crimson_Tears]

Originally Posted by HumanePain

:: hands a couple Advil to Crimson ::

Here is my Rant:

WOULD EVERYONE PLEASE REMEMBER THE GOLDEN RULE? Treat others as you wish to be treated yourself.

Thank you. This has been a pubic service annulment.

Thank you for the Advil.

[Lapin]

I am so sick of feeling like an idiot because I can't adequately express any of my ideas. I am sick of being nervous and frightened of everything.

I am especially sick of people taking advantage of my better nature. I am sick of them for being weak and doing foolish, dangerous things while saying "I shouldn't." If you shouldn't, don't do it! It's that simple!

And don't ever, ever tell me that I don't know what it's like! I do know, but haven't you noticed I'm not screwed up?! That means I had enough self-control; enough to say 'no' when a joint was offered, enough to say 'no' when alcohol was offered, and more than enough enough to refuse to take partners who were selfish and untrustworthy.

I am sick of dealing with other people's emotional problems! I have my own problems! But I have never let them control me, not since I first got sick.

If I can make it through my sickness, you can certainly fight yours. Mine left me crippled; I think you just want to whine and be special. I think you want to be pitied.

Don't call me ever again. You're going to give me a relapse, people like you, and I will not ever set foot in a hospital if I can help it!

My rant is this: I am happy being a serene person, and I am happy with the gentleness I have found. I do not want to go back to the harshness I once had to live in. I will no longer abide by people who drag me down, who enjoy making me nervous and frightened. No. More.

[HellforgedX]

I am sick and friggin' tired of my intentions. They never turn out the way I want them to be. Just call me the main job foreman of Hell's own Good Intentions Grading & Paving Co. It seems to me as if every time I say a word sideways it comes out flipped up, twisted, and bearing heavy artillery. I don't like being misunderstood. Go to hell, me.

[Splintered]

HOLYFUCKINGSHIT.
My God these past two weeks have been a fucking blur.

So, to understand my rant here, you'll have to understand what has been happening in my life.

I moved to Canada for two months (I'm on the last month now) over the summer. The first day I got here, my dad's girlfriend's grandson was killed in a car accident. I got a job at my dad's store with my uncle. My uncle scares me, and I think he's an insolent fuck. My girlfriend went off to Band Camp, which was, for some odd reason, traumatic to me. My mom and I do not get along, and have never gotten along. I live with my dad right now, and I would rather live with him than my mom. I am, however, going to college in place of my last two years of highschool, which means if I wanted to continue that, I'd have to go there instead.

So things have been constantly crazy with me.

What's bothering me, is I just got an offer to live with my dad.

Had this been any other year, I would have taken it in a heartbeat. If I was in 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, or even at the beginning of 10th grade, I would have jumped at the chance to live with him. My dad and I are infinitely closer than my mom and I are. The only reason I am going back is because of college, and because I know what it's like not to have things. I never had much my entire life, and I am going to change that for my future.

What makes me want to stay is that I'm more comfortable up here. Up here, I could dye my hair, pierce my lip, tongue, eyebrow, penis, whatever, and he wouldn't care. It's essentially unconditional love, which is something that I've forgone my entire life.

My mother and I do not get along well. Sweet Jesus the Jewish Zombie, we do not get along. Any time we talk, and I am seriously not exagerrating here, we fight. You see, my mother and I only speak about my school work, and that happens 5-6 times a school year. When we do speak, it turns into essentially, her yelling and me and saying how "I am such a horrible child", and then she turns around and blames herself for being a horrible mother.

Getting away from that was a really good thing. A really, really good thing for me.

And now that she realizes that here, she is powerless, she's trying to get back closer to me.

You see, with my dad, she can not fucking touch me. At home, she could yell at me for not doing a whole bunch of things, or make me feel like shit.

Here, not only do I do my own chores and everything, but I volunteered a lot of my own time out to help with the kids that came in and out of the house, because of the death of their brother (My girlfriend's grandson). I now have a steady job, which I have been told I have an extremy good work ethic, which means a steady income. I also have my dad, who would help me through out school.

She doesn't control my money, my actions, or any little thing about me. I am virtually self-sufficent. When/if I go back, I will be her slave, and she'll contorl me. But here, she is completely fucking powerless, and I am letting her know that. I am tired of being her little slave. She's treated me like shit my entire life, and made me feel like shit. Now if she decides to confront me and go after me, I am not even going to blink when I tell her to fuck off, and I now know that if she tries any more shit like she has, I am walking out the door, and I am never coming back.

What makes it hard though, is now that I am far away, she is now beginning to act like she cares. Now that she realizes she has no power, she's trying to manipulate me into feeling guilty. It's to the point that I don't want to come back. College be damned, I'll do a four year college after highschool like everyone else. I'll give up all of my friends, if that is what is required.

It's just.... Damn these past two weeks have been crazy as fuck.

[raggedyanne]

Here here for crazy ass summers. I spoke to maybe three of my friends all summer, have to finish this honors English report, deal with that fact that I broke up with my boyfriend over the summer, so half the school won't know yet, and fend of the advances of a senior skinhead who a total cherry picker. Ah, frosh year.

[Splintered]

Yeah. It just gets crazier all the time.
An easy way to fend off advances is by rightfully placing a kick in his genitals. That gets the message across.

Oh well, I get some comfort. I finally get a guitar tomorrow (at the latest monday).

That's something I've wanted for 5 years now. =)

[Apathy's_Child]

Splintered - seems like you already know the answer, and it's just the guilt your mom's forcing on you making you wonder. Which is probably what seh intended. People that manipulative generally know what they're doing, which does not mean they're not to be pitied - just that you have to get survivalist here.

One of two things is happening. Either she's trying to manipulate you into staying so she can yell at, belittle and generally make you miserable. Seems unlikely at least on a conscious level, but possible. Or she's starting to think "shit, I'm almost menopausal, my kid hates me, my kid is leaving, I'm going to die alone and be eaten by household dust mites! AAAAGH!" This is the reality of her motives IMO.

Which is no bad thing. Means she may keep being nice so you'll come back and visit her now and again. Whereas if you stay things will never change, families have routines between them that are extremely hard to break unless there's a drastic shake-up of their dynamics.

Like someone leaving for instance.

Go with your dad, would be my advice. You don't owe your mom any chance at happiness you may have. In fact leaving her before you really start to despise her may be the best way of salvaging a future relationship.

[disorder]

I'm in a wicked mood bahahahhaa

[Splintered]

Here's the whole catch though.

In my state there is a program called "Running Start". Essentially, you start college two years earlier, by going to community college. You have to take three tests in reading, writing, and math, and if you pass, you get to go to college. Since I passed the tests, I have the option of going to college there.

This means a lot to me, because the state will pay for my education (My classes are free, all I have to do is pay class fees), and with the way my grades are right now, I need a boost in my GPA, which I can get at college.

That's why this is though, because I'm choosing between being miserable and getting the future I want, or being happy and being very uncertain of what future I will get.

[Aaroneet]

I hope that starting out at college early works out for you. My mother went when she was sixteen.

[Splintered]

I have no idea why, but I feel guilty for trying to do a nice thing.

Our new guy's family is way out on the east cost, and we're more to the west. So, he was looking at a webcam that was a bit pricey. Knowing he's new to the area, and he probably doesn't have a lot of cash, and I have a bit of an expendable income (I'm 16. I don't mind.), I might as well buy it for him as a "Welcome to the West" present.

So, I asked my supervisor if it'd be okay. He said "No, it's too soon." And now I have this odd nagging sense of guilt for it. O.o It's a really odd feeling.

[HumanePain]

Sleep...sleep...I only had four hours of sleep yesterday. As I was driving home from work my mind tried to shutdown. I blasted the radio, cranked up the volume on Christian Death, chewed gum, and barely made it home alive. SO I get home, and go immediately to bed, and sleep until now (time for work) and I still feel sleepy. Sleep is a curse.

[disorder]

Argh. My day:

Slept through alarm. Brother used the last of the milk. Shower ran out of hot water halfway through. Hit my head on the luggage rack on the bus. Fell down the bus steps. Fell over and ripped the knee out of my stockings. Got pushed into a set of lockers and bruised my leg. Go an inkstain on my brand new shirt. Stood on the back of my friend's shoe and broke her buckle. Cut my finger on my friends book. Got a detention for something I didn't do. Canteen closed before I could buy my lunch. And finally, pulled a muscle at dancing.

[disorder]

Ha. I don't care about my day anymore. They guy I like sang a song for me this afternoon.

Spiderkate, spiderkate, does whatever a spiderkate does.


Haaaaaaaaaaaaa. Everybody gets hugs noaw.

[HumanePain]

Originally Posted by disorder

Ha. I don't care about my day anymore. The guy I like sang a song for me this afternoon.

Spiderkate, spiderkate, does whatever a spiderkate does.


Haaaaaaaaaaaaa. Everybody gets hugs now.

Amazing how well love works as an analgesic!
:: big hug ::

[Splintered]

Stupid fucking whores.
We have these kids who come into our store, and use our computers to surf. We do not mind this, as long as you follow our rules.

They are simple:
1. Don't blare your music up too loudly.
2. Don't be an ass to us.

It's our computers, it's our rules. You don't fuck with us, you can use them.

You also have no right to privacy on our computers. You can *Try* and clean them up, but trust me, you will fail. We know what you are doing. We know what you are trying. We know you uninstalled Windows Live Messenger, and now you're trying to cover up your traces. And you still fail!

[raggedyanne]

People are stupid. I am stupid. Why is it that my parents are so intent on me succeeding that they sign me up for advanced classes even though there's no way I'm ready so I have to retake geometry?! I'm also really really fat. So my mom is making me start working out at curves along with my 2 and a half hours of dance a week and dance PE everyday during the school year. I'm also not allowed to eat anything but the three meals a day they plan. Also no sodas or sweets. Can't the world understand that some petite people are NOT meant to be skinny!

[Shyantra]

GAH!!!! i cannot stand my car! First it works, then it doesn't; then it does, no it doesn't. Can it not make up its mind!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have already been late to work once already, if I am late again...the horrors that that car shall endure.

[raggedyanne]

I Wanna Motorcycle!!!!!!!!!!!!!