Anxiety/Depression Tips & Tears

[WolfMoon]

Shi'ark, I'm sorry you lost your Grandad.

You did say that you were expecting him to go soon, right? I hope that you spent as much time with him as possible, luv. Just remember all those stories he used to tell, like grandads often do.

*hugz*

[tenet_2012]

Originally Posted by OnixxFilth

Depression is NOT just anger without enthusiasm! It is a serious medical condition and should be treated as such.

Ummmm...

It was a joke. I know a lot about clinical depression.

[Ben Lahnger]

Originally Posted by Shi'ark

Ok then I need some help. My Granddad finally died today and I feel like crap. Any help before I go home.

Shi'ark, I'm sorry to hear he's gone. I wish there was a way to make this better for you.

When my Dad's mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, it was like we went into this big holding pattern. Over time, we watched as she physically and mentally declined. One day she was no longer able to recognise who I was. Later she didn't know who her husband was. And at a certain point I realised that I was already mourning for her, and she wasn't even dead yet. It was like some slow death march, ticking off the moments over a long period of time, waiting for her and her loved ones' suffering to be over.

I suspect with the prolonged period of time that your Grandfather was ill, something like this occured to you. It is okay to feel sad that he is gone. It is a fine idea to remember the good times you shared with him. It is perfectly fitting to be glad that his suffering is over.

But if you feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders, do not beat yourself up with guilt for that feeling. If you were loyal to him in life and true to him with your love while he was with you, there's nothing wrong with feeling a sense of relief now. I'm not saying you feel that, but if you do, it's okay.

Miss him, remember him fondly, but do not despair that he is gone from this world. He is still a presence here as long as you are influenced by the things he taught you, and are moved by the things that he cared about.

You and your family are in my thoughts.

----------------------------------------------------------

"Grief is itself a medicine". ~William Cowper, Charity

"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go." ~Author Unknown

"As long as I can I will look at this world for both of us. As long as I can I will laugh with the birds, I will sing with the flowers, I will pray to the stars, for both of us." ~Sascha, posted on Motivating Moments

[Ben Lahnger]

Originally Posted by tenet_2012

Ummmm...

It was a joke. I know a lot about clinical depression.

Tenet, I know a lot of people reacted visceraly to that comment.

I understood it was a joke right away.

[Empty_Purple_Stars]

Originally Posted by Sobeh

I'm biased against the medical establishment for a number of reasons, not least of which is the fact that in defining certain 'imbalances' they get to dictate normalcy to the greater population. I'm all about discovering root causes, chemical or otherwise, for the sort of depression that forces you to live depressed day in and day out, in a maladaptive sort of way, but to claim all depression is a chemical imbalance, and then that all chemical imbalances are supposed to be treated, makes my heart sick.

Have a read of *this* to see what I'm talking about. Medicine as treatment in some cases, but rarely truly taking care of root causes, vis-a-vis life, stress, events that come naturally in life, and the possibility that abnormal depression is less chemical imbalance than maladaptive or poor coping mechanisms and low overall mental health.

'Blame the Chemistry' is NOT science.

I'm probably going to get shit all over my shoes, but I am going to wade off in here with you man.

He's right, and the very thing he is talking about is what I want to be the focus of my Thesis.

I have a SERIOUS problem with the fact, that Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors, among other drugs, are being prescribed to MILLIONS of children and adults nationwide, like they are Miracle Panacea to all of the Worlds ills.

They aren't.

No, I am not saying they are NEVER useful, but they are overprescribed to a practically criminal degree by doctors.

Who does this benefit?

The Pharmaceutical Companies..

Pzifer gets richer, and we get no closer to finding a more reasonable approach to treating severe depression.

I have seen research recently that suggests that these Serotonin Re-Uptake Inhibitors are actually having ZERO effect, because the problem exists in Myelin Sheath degeneration, NOT in a LACK of Dopamine or Serotonin.

If I can find the study, I will link it here.

It has also been my personal experience that many of these drugs make the symptoms WORSE and not BETTER.

There is very little 'science' involved in the dispensation of these Mind/Mood altering drugs to the general public. Both Pediactric and Adult.

" Hmm that one didn't work? Try this one. That one didn't work either? Hm, Try this one."

Another factor often ignored by Mental Health Professionals and Doctors, is the scientifically proved FACT that these drugs should ONLY be used on a short term basis.

In most cases, the brain will start to produce the proper mood balancing chemicals, after intensive therapy and behavior modification techniques.

Only in rare cases should someone be on these medications for a lifetime.

Without therapy and all the other important work that goes into healing the soul/heart/mind, these drugs are pretty useless.

On their own, I see them as ineffective for MANY of the millions of adults and children who are taking them on a daily basis.

One of the main complaints I had was that ALL of these drugs made me feel like someone I was not. That is not counting the plethora of other symptoms I experienced that made me feel absolutely terrible.

I also wholeheartedly agree that not ALL depression is the result of a chemical imbalance. My own depression has no root in a chemical disruption within my brain. It is the platter full of pain that life has served me up, that gets me down.

Tricking my brain into thinking I am happy, does not teach me coping mechanisms, or thought processes that help me, heal myself.

There is also a criminal injustice being done to children and adolescents by the American Medical Association. There has been OVERWHELMING statistical data that suggests that MANY children, adults, and teenagers with NO PRIOR suicidal ideation have commited suicide as a direct result of Anti-Depressants prescribed to them prior to their death. The AMA has been pussyfooting around for years with this knowledge, wavering back and forth over whether there should be more stringent warnings placed on these drugs. All the while people keep dying, that shouldn't be dead.

All because of the All Mighty Dollar..

It's heinous and it shouldn't be happening.

So before anyone carves Sobeh up for his educated opinion, please consider that there is a lot of truth to what he is saying.

Depressions isn't the same for everyone.

The causes aren't the same, the symptoms aren't the same.

And if we can all agree that fact is true, then why in the Hell should all Despression be treated the same way?

My 1.4 cents.

[Sobeh]

Originally Posted by Empty_Purple_Stars

I'm probably going to get shit all over my shoes

You and I may want to get some of these. Just try not to get into a bidding war with me!

[Empty_Purple_Stars]

I was thinking about something more like these.

[Ben Lahnger]

E_P_S and Sobeh, I think I'm going to surprise you. While I do not understand fully the way my ADD works and can clearly pinpoint an improvement in my thought process when I take Adderal, I don't think that's indicative of all other cases. And depression is such a big umbrella that so many different kinds of behaviors and mood disorders are lumped under ...

Anyway, I mostly agree with you. I think anti-depression medications are over prescribed, are prescribed for too long, and the industry is financially motivated to look the other way with regards to the suicide statistics.

E_P_S, I'd be interested in reading that Thesis when it's done.

And I actually think we're gonna need these.

[OnixxFilth]

Well, there IS such thing as actual clinical depression that DOES need medication. I agree that sometimes medication is incorrectly prescribed, but that doesn't mean that no one should take them without fear of being considered "weak" or not in control of their emotions.

[Empty_Purple_Stars]

Just to clarify, I don't believe myself or Sobeh said "Clinical Depression" did not exist.

I don't believe that was the point either of us were trying to make.



(hope you don't mind me speaking for you on this issue Sobeh

[Sobeh]

Originally Posted by Empty_Purple_Stars

Just to clarify, I don't believe myself or Sobeh said "Clinical Depression" did not exist.

I don't believe that was the point either of us were trying to make.



(hope you don't mind me speaking for you on this issue Sobeh

Nope, thanks! If anyone can be trusted with that kind of responsibility it's you.

I was saying nothing about clinical depression either. As i recall, this thread was kind of about a loss of a loved family member, and i was referring to that kind of depression, which depending on other factors can over time seem like it's clinical when it has more to do with coping mechanisms etc, and to medicate that kind of depression was trash.

I made the further point, which is where I think confusion arose, that the classification of Clinical Depression should be revisited since in certain cases the situation I just outlined can result in a diagnosis of clinical depression, when very clearly that is not the case. But, verified cases of clinical depression do exist, just maybe less than currently thought.

[OnixxFilth]

Well, I apologize for overreacting. My disability makes it hard to for me to discern intention and/or sarcasm, especially in a written medium like this where there is no tone of voice to go by.

[Sobeh]

I've an old friend (well, had, haven't spoken to her since she ran away from her home and dropped off the face of the planet a year ago) who had similar difficulties even with facial expressions and tonal inflections. I never even frowned over the course of this thing, just bemoaned my inability to actually sit face to face and have a discourse. This forum chat-delay can sometimes be the bane of understanding, especially if one is enamoured with one's own written word (to wit, at times, myself).

[OnixxFilth]

Do you know if she also had Asperger's like me, Sobeh?

[Sobeh]

Originally Posted by OnixxFilth

Do you know if she also had Asperger's like me, Sobeh?

To my knowledge there was a great deal of bitchiness on the part of her parents, authoritative arrogance on the part of the mental health center, and she didn't help things by acting somewhat schizophrenic at times... which she may have been, slightly. In any event a proper diagnosis was never rendered, and unfortunately her family chooses not to communicate with me, so I'm not too sure what has become of her.

[Deviant Kitten]

Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger

Miss him, remember him fondly, but do not despair that he is gone from this world. He is still a presence here as long as you are influenced by the things he taught you, and are moved by the things that he cared about.

That's really beautiful, Ben.

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, Shi'ark. My thoughts are with you. *hugs*

[Deviant Kitten]

I've been taking medication for depression for over two years now. I resisted taking it for a long time, but I'm glad that I finally decided to try it as it seems to be helping me. However, I don't plan on using it for the rest of my life! I'm trying to change my life and my thought patterns in ways that will help me fight the negativity, so that when I come off the prozac I don't fall straight back into the nasty, dark pit I used to live in. I'm terrified of becoming depressed again and not being able to cope with life. It's incredibly difficult to climb out of that pit once I'm in it.

[tenet_2012]

Originally Posted by OnixxFilth

Well, there IS such thing as actual clinical depression that DOES need medication. I agree that sometimes medication is incorrectly prescribed, but that doesn't mean that no one should take them without fear of being considered "weak" or not in control of their emotions.

Hahahahahaha...

I'm sorry, I found that extremely funny.

We all have trouble sensing sarcasm online, sometimes. Having a "disorder" does not affect that whatsoever.

[OnixxFilth]

That's too bad, Sobeh. I wish you could have been made aware of her diagnosis, if she ever was diagnosed. I was previously misdiagnosed as having OCD because of my insistance on adhering to schedule and freaking out if someone messed up my rugs or bedsheets when sitting on my bed. The final verdict was Asperger's with some schizophrenic traits (I used to hear people saying my name when no one was around, as if I was hearing the voice with my ears, not in my head).

[OnixxFilth]

Actually, yes, it DOES affect it. Most people, it seems, can detect sarcasm, even online.

[Pathogen.]

I feel depressed occasionally, so here's a few tips on dealing with that:

*Take a long walk around your neighbourhood. Walking--at least from my experience reduces the sorrow within [depression].
*Eat potatoes. It sounds retarded, but consuming potatoes have been proven to reduce the sorrow within as well. When you're so down & can't face life or anyone, forget Prozac & grab nature's anti-depressant: A root vegetable.
*If you're depressed & horny, chocolate does the job. I could be wrong about that, though.

[Sanctus Dei]

Okay.. I apologize as I've only skimmed this entire thread due to shear laziness but I collected the important points of the discussions. My little sis has some level of ADD she required alot of aide throughout Elementary and Junior High but my parents would not let her take Rid or any other suggested Drug. She made it alright, although, she had to get her GED because she wasn't able to make it though high school (she didn't qualify for the SpED for the last three years) She still appears to have a level of the problem now... she finds it hard to concentrate on one issue for long periods of time. She requires constant change to keep her interest... it's actually wierd to me.

Now as for Clinical Depression... I've had my battles with that subject personally mixed with a nasty eating disorder (which withered my naturally 135-140 pound body to a 115 pond waif... WAS NOT PRETTY) I struggle with an issue I don't have the name for but it envolves having a hand hold on some level of control and a need to please for subconcious validation.

A better description: I do things in efforts to please, I enjoy the validation I receive for a job well done... but entertwined with that is a basic need for control and when I lose that I find alternative methods.. (say OCD with eating habits or cleaning... or exercising compulsively)

I've been on Zoloft but I wasn't about that... so I've learned to control these issues on my own. I can't say I'm entirely successful but if I ever get the courage to show you all the pictures of a previous me you'll see how far I've come.

[MissJames]

oh, im on my way to do my intro, just got sucked into this thread.

gotta say something because this a major thing I have to deal with all the time.

I have been dealing with depression and panic/anxiety all my life. I didn't get treatment until I was in my early 20s when it became unbearable - I couldn't leave the house, go anywhere with large groups of people (not even the theater), talk on the phone, and had violent outbursts when I was in the middle of panic attacks (I seemed to love throwing big chairs across the room at people or throwing scissors at them), and intentionally putting myself into danger in hopes of an accident (I used to love to cut off semis or sandwich myself between two in hopes of a crash).

I finally went to a counselor and she suggested I go to a psychiatrist. I did and after a few sessions with him he asked me how I felt about meds. I said I'd try anything to make me not feel like this. so he wasn't dispensing meds like candy, he was very careful about prescribing it, and having me to get a full physical and blood tests from my GP to rule out other medical issues that could be causing it. Note that I think its insane for a GP or family doctor to prescribe these meds. go to a a licensed psychitrist! so he started me on paxil. It took about 2 months to get the dosage right. Then, after being hospitalized twice againt my will for oding on my pills after getting extremely drunk, I was prescribed mood stabilizers and diagnosed as bipolar I. bipolar often gets misdiagnosed because you usually only go for help on the down swing, and anitdepressants actually exacerbate the bipolar. that's why a lot of kids and teens get suicidal on paxil - not only does it not treat your whole condition, but you still end up depressed with clearer thought and a bit more motivation. so you have enough energy to commit suicide, yay! I was told that most bipolar cases are diagnosed right after you've been hospitalized for a suicide attempt. yeah, they should definitely find a better way of diagnosing bipolar.

My therapist and pshychiatrist bot asked me if I heard voices and I always said no. I assumed they meant a ralph wiggum-style leprechaun that told me to set stuff on fire, or my neighbor's dog telling me to shoot people in their cars. I finally realized after talking to a (clinically) psychotic friend that his auditory hallucinations were just that - hearing voices clear as day when there was no one there. I've often heard people speak my name as if they were right over my shoulder - out loud, not in my head. or rather, in my head but sounding like it was external. I've also heard random sentences spoken, like I was momentarily tuned into a snippet of someone's conversation. I've also seen things in my peripheral vision that were very clear, but definitely not there. So when my hospital doc asked if I was having visual or auditoy hallucinations, I said yes and he added anti-seizure drugs to my meds. I went through one that made me gain tons of weight, one that made me have awful, intense and vivid nightmares (depakote is evil, for me anyway), and finally settled on one that worked well with no side effects. I was recently prescribed another antidepressant with sedative effects to help with my insomnia. yeah, so now I'm on 3 meds, 75mg of paxil (ssri for depression, anxiety and mild ocd), 200mg of lamictal (anti-seizure for bipolar), and 2-300mgs of Desyrel, and ativan as needed for anxiety (oh and to help me to not think about booze all day because I have become quite the dangerous alcoholic in the past few years - but that's a whole 'nother story).

seriously, these meds made me into a real person again. my doc says with my level of illness I might have to be on these meds a long time, maybe forever. and I'll do it, because I never want to go back to the way I was. and I wonder how my life might have been different if I had sought treatment in my early teens. I believe in my meds, but talk therapy (and journaling to sort out all the crap running through your head all the time) is as important, as well as regular med checkups to adjust dosage, learning how to reduce stress, physical exercise, proper diet, and meditation. These are often used before any meds are prescribed, as people with mild depression can use these techniques without meds to great success.

damn, I do ramble on.

I must say that I think it's terrible for GPs to prescribe these meds whenever someone says 'oh man, Im totally sad, gimme some zoloft (or 'I totally have adhd, gimme some ritalin' which is like KiddieCrack). sometimes, GPs will hand out pills because they get major kickbacks and perks from the drug companies. (some unscrupulous psychs will do this to, be leery if they immediately suggest meds). and those tv commercials that try to convince everyone that they are ill and just a little pill will make it go away make me sick. I want to kick that sad little zoloft blob like a damn soccer ball.

on Being Depressed vs Depression:
Everyone gets depressed or have moments of anxiety once in a while. It happens for a few days, maybe a week, and is usually related to an event in your life (a death, a breakup, losing a job, being overwhelmed by school, etc). These are the people who say "Just get over it and stop being depressed!" They say this because they can usually snap out of it in a short time and assume everyone can, and that people who are "ill" are just trying to get attention or are using it to manipulate others (and high schoolers use many things to do that, and yes, one of them being 'omg im majer deprezd c I slashed my armz up, so pay lots of attn to me and make sur i dont killz meself.') Maybe a few people fake it for various reasons, but it is exhausting work to will yourself to be misreable for a long time.
People suffering from clinical depression (the illness) can't just stop or will it away. It doesn't work. They aren't depressed about things. They are just depressed, and it is dangerous to leave this level of illness untreated because it leads to a whole lot of deaths. clinical depression can only be treated, you know, clinically. when people tell me to get over it, they get a very long lecture similar to this one that has turned into an damn essay (or I give them a thrashing if I'm pressed for time).

and if you find a faker, just go tell the school counselor you're worried about your friend, and encourage them to get the parents involved, and then either the faker will be all oh shit, this totally backfired, now I'm getting way too much attention. or their parents will commit them to one of those dorm-like hospitals for kids that are more like camp. at least it will get them out of your hair. and if they get pissed just be oh so sympathetic. but I was so scared for you! you said you might hurt yourself! you're sodepressed, you need to go to the hospital and probably be in a straight jacket and have people inject weird things into you! Okay, this might backfire because most teens that are committed are just temporarily depressed and end up freaking out after a couple of days and come out crazier than when they went in.

damn, this is one long-ass post. I promise they won't all be like this. though I do have a tendency toward know-it-all-ness and need to research every damn thing that I don't alreasy know about. *bows in apology*




oh yeah, and...

Originally Posted by Deviant Kitten

It'd definitely be cool if there actually was a dictionary out there somewhere.

This is a great, kinda funny one with usage examples - and it has two dictionaries: british-to-American english version and and american-to-british. its great for writing british chars too.

there are lots of others online, just google british american dictionary and you'll find loads. That was posted a while ago, but sometimes I can't resist making use of my collection of random links.

aaaaand... I'm spent.

[OnixxFilth]

Sanctus, seems like you have a problem I also have- an addiction to people-pleasing. It's not enough for me to be happy with something- other people have to approve of my choices too or I feel like I did something wrong.

[Deviant Kitten]

Originally Posted by MissJames

oh yeah, and...

This is a great, kinda funny one with usage examples - and it has two dictionaries: british-to-American english version and and american-to-british. its great for writing british chars too.

I like their "parting thought" -

The British solution to any problem, crisis or disaster...

"I'll just make us a nice cup of tea."

Very true... *goes to put kettle on*