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| Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books. |
10-11-2009, 03:30 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Crappy California
Posts: 39
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Her sweet crimson
Her Soft Pale slender features,
I look and then I need her,And want her
Her blood calls to me, Singing a sweet song,
My arms Wrapped around her Body
cradleing her close,Breathing in her wistful sent
And then I know what i want most,My fangs enlong
and seep deep into her flesh,Its My desire, my passion
Her Taste Is sweet,Sinister,It feels me with pleasure,
I swallow her..Wanting more and more, and taking it
She becomes limp and her heart stops,Im done
I have drank every last drop until no more, is there for me...
Last edited by Immortal Love; 10-11-2009 at 03:31 PM.
Reason: Typo
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10-11-2009, 04:10 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,678
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Your fangs seep? How the fuck does that work, you melt them over an open fire first?
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10-11-2009, 04:24 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Crappy California
Posts: 39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JCC
Your fangs seep? How the fuck does that work, you melt them over an open fire first?
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Yes, as in Go into skin,And why would you do that?
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10-11-2009, 04:54 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,360
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Immortal Love
Yes, as in Go into skin,And why would you do that?
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bbecause he is a cock sucking ******
p.s. I am not homophobic
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10-11-2009, 05:10 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Crappy California
Posts: 39
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Hahah,Oh..I didnt know he was
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10-12-2009, 03:04 AM
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#6
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: A ship called Dignity
Posts: 1,919
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Her wistful sent? Someone needs a dictionary.
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10-12-2009, 11:38 AM
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#7
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Hell Hall
Posts: 1,167
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__________________
"While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die."
-Leonardo Da Vinci
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10-16-2009, 09:28 AM
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#8
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: R'lyeh
Posts: 2,104
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It sucks.
Like, really sucks.
__________________
"One mohawk wasn't enough to keep up with how badass he is so he had to get two." - Haunted House, about me, YEAH, ME!
Terror Nuclear,Terror Nuclear
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10-16-2009, 11:08 AM
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#9
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,678
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Immortal Love
Yes, as in Go into skin,And why would you do that?
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'Seep' isn't a suitable word for fangs, fangs are solid and 'seep' means for a liquid to enter a porous solid.
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10-16-2009, 12:46 PM
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#10
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Your mother.
Posts: 1,044
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Lol you swallow people whole? Hahahaha this poem fails. Use words that actually fit in the poem.
__________________
The Overture To The Symphony Of Destruction.
I am the Antiproduct!
There is, they say, no fool like an old fool - Golding.
" All the war-propaganda, all the screaming and lies and hatred, comes invariably from people who are not fighting." - Orwell.
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10-16-2009, 03:46 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: A ship called Dignity
Posts: 1,919
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It's just terrible, in every way.
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10-16-2009, 04:02 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
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We all had to start somewhere. Of course it would help starting with a dictionary, a thesaurus, spell checking Firefox and perhaps a few pages of Charles Baudelaire, Edgar Allan Poe or even Emily Dickinson, but hey! She has the desire to post words in public, so she has that going for her. Who knows where it will lead.
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10-16-2009, 04:05 PM
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#13
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,678
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You don't have to be nice all of the time, man. Go on, tell her that this poem sucks. Go on, you'll enjoy it once you start.
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10-16-2009, 04:17 PM
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#14
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JCC
You don't have to be nice all of the time, man. Go on, tell her that this poem sucks. Go on, you'll enjoy it once you start.
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But...but I was being sarcastic! I guess the second to last sentence wasn't obvious enough. Or could you tell, and you are just telling me not to hide the insult but just be blatant about it?
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10-16-2009, 04:20 PM
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#15
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,678
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I'm so used to you being a pillar of mercy that I automatically assume you're speaking with radiant goodwill even if you're being a sly devil.
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10-16-2009, 04:22 PM
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#16
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
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Yes, usually that's true but even I have standards, low as they may seem. And this composition falls below it. Well, dived below it.
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10-17-2009, 05:52 PM
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#17
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 73
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it's nice because i've got madama butterfly on, i'm buzzed, and i love vampires.
End of story.
Well,,,,,,,, way more then buzzed,...high.
I think the music is doing it to me
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10-18-2009, 12:46 AM
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#18
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Sheffield UK.
Posts: 2,065
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Malice In Wonderland
It sucks.
Like, really sucks.
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tru dat. tooshort.
__________________
Avoid all needle drugs - The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.
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10-18-2009, 01:55 AM
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#19
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,424
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Immortal Love
Hahah,Oh..I didnt know he was
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I wish he was.
Heeeeeeeeey JCC, wanna play?
__________________
“Lots of ways to help people. Sometimes heal patients; sometimes execute dangerous people. Either way helps.”
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10-18-2009, 03:34 AM
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#20
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,678
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For sure. Hey Sir Canvas, whenever I watch porn I notice that gay dudes don't use their hands to massage the shaft when they are giving a blowjob, do you have any insight into this? I figure it's because they're jerking off at the same time.
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10-18-2009, 07:42 PM
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#21
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,424
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I've seen some guys in gay porn use their hands, but there's a good chance they may be the guys from Broke straight Boys who emulate whatever their girls do.
If it's an uncut guy, you'd have to use a hand on the shaft as well, for sure, and you only need one hand to jack off anyway. I'll get back to you on this.
__________________
“Lots of ways to help people. Sometimes heal patients; sometimes execute dangerous people. Either way helps.”
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10-25-2009, 04:19 PM
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#22
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,424
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JCC, my extensive research has led me to one answer:
It's just a matter of style, you just happen to watch gay guys that don't massage the shaft, but straight guys are more likely to massage it as well, since that's how the girls do it to them.
__________________
“Lots of ways to help people. Sometimes heal patients; sometimes execute dangerous people. Either way helps.”
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10-25-2009, 04:43 PM
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#23
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,678
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Aight, cool. Thanks man.
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10-25-2009, 06:02 PM
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#24
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Compton
Posts: 258
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JCC
Your fangs seep? How the fuck does that work, you melt them over an open fire first?
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it is abundantly relevant that this poem is about a vampire-rapist-ice-sculpture
also, s'wrong with you boy?
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