Rant Thread

[Corpus_Draconis]

EPS, I hope Hellspawn gets better. And I hope your tooth gets better. My mother had a bone infection after she got her wisdom teeth out. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

I'm glad you're taking control of things, Wolfmoon. Steering in life, as in a car, is a good thing. I liked your string of metaphors too.

Good that your computer works again Panther. Computers can be touchy beings some times, especially if they're running Windows.

Right now... I'm just trying to navigate my way out of the mire of end-of-semester assignments that have been piled on... trying to not slip into the "ugh I don't have the energy to care anymore" thing. *mouths along with Siouxie...*

[drgnlvr]

Draggy, I haven't thought to comment on your rpoblem, but I've been sendingpositive thoughts your way. You haven't by chance run across either a bear or a chestnut mare have you?

:shock:

Does a big-chested, chestnut-haired woman who has a username of Marallewellyn count? She stopped by tonight, and complained that my "guest" was poking at her while she was here.

I actually haven't paid attention to my dreams the past couple nights, because when I sleep, I'm dead, and it's still not good sleep. Seems that when you move large pieces of furniture that haven't been moved in three years, it tends to kick up some dust....and me without allergy meds, or insurance >.<

I'll keep an eye out tonight, though. Thanks, Love!

Right now, I think my problems are mild, and we should focus our positive energy to EPS and her precious Hellspawn.

EPS, hon...I -am- keeping a white candle lit for you. Much love and light to you and your family. *hugstight*

[TeapotScar]

Karma is so confusing. Case and point: In the past three days, I've had two flat tires. *However* I have a cute "almost-boyfriend" who thinks I'm a cute "almost-girlfriend"... And then on the other flip side, I just gave him mono...

Karma! Make up your mind! Or don't... cuz this is kind of fun.

[FenrisQueen]

I'll give you karma, tea.

So, anyone else have those high-society, caribbean traipsing upper crust stiff necked relatives? I do. My grandparents. Since I was little, they have tried to mold me to become the ideal granddaughter. Dancing Lessons, Cotillon, You name it, they've tried to put me through it. Thus you see before you the well adjusted individual I am today.
So, I'm getting older. My birthday is coming up, and my esteemed relatives are worried that I am not mixing with the right people. They believe it is time that I should start looking for a "prospective match" No lie. They actually said this. And when my mother let it slip that I am single as of two weeks ago, they SET ME UP. On a date . With a friend of theirs' son.
Behold the mighty Jacob. Complete with a "gods gift to women complex" and requisite sweater vest.

This is what I get for telling them I was a lesbian. (which, after polo boy, might not be such a half-truth)

[AlKilyu]

Fenris, are you gonna stick around this time? ^_^

[Granny-like_the_apple]

I might get kicked out of my house. For oversleeping on my mom's birthday. Which makes perfect sense, really. I mean, why kick your daughter out when you find her weed, or when she almost flunks a math course because she skipped so many classes, or when she almost gets suspended from school for missing so many classes, or when you find her in a motel room with a big ole bottle of vodka, when you can kick her out for sleeping late?

Perfect. fucking. sense.

[tekajo]

Originally Posted by Granny-like_the_apple

I might get kicked out of my house. For oversleeping on my mom's birthday. Which makes perfect sense, really. I mean, why kick your daughter out when you find her weed, or when she almost flunks a math course because she skipped so many classes, or when she almost gets suspended from school for missing so many classes, or when you find her in a motel room with a big ole bottle of vodka, when you can kick her out for sleeping late?

Perfect. fucking. sense.

Perfect. fucking. sense. almost as perfect as my getting kicked out of my last place for lying about going to school...during my spring break. The one that did the kicking has a $500 a month pill habit...apparently three lies are worse than a drug addiction.

[Panther]

okay, so I'm gonna be gone for a bit.

I ust can't handle this crap anymore, and need some tiem with no distractions.

So if you don't see me, it's not becausse I've gotten pissed and stormed off, it's because I've gotten melancholy and gone off to ponder.

Hopefully I'll see you guys again. If not, best of everything to all of you.

Maybe it's time I rethought myself and tried a new angle. . .

Or maybe it's just time I quit pretending I don't need a real life and got my ass out of my computer chair and actually did something for once in my life.

[Granny-like_the_apple]

Originally Posted by tekajo

Perfect. fucking. sense. almost as perfect as my getting kicked out of my last place for lying about going to school...during my spring break. The one that did the kicking has a $500 a month pill habit...apparently three lies are worse than a drug addiction.

Whoa whoa, you said you were going to school when you were on spring break? Why? And why would your landlord or whoever care where you were going?

[AlKilyu]

Awe Granny I'm sorry, although it's probably not that bad, more of a threat made in anger.

If so, no worries, there is plenty of room in my bed for two! ^_^

[tekajo]

Originally Posted by Granny-like_the_apple

Whoa whoa, you said you were going to school when you were on spring break? Why? And why would your landlord or whoever care where you were going?

Why was i saying i was going to school instead of spring break? Now thats a good fucking question lol. It's a long story...cant even make it short without severe distortion.

[edible_eye]

good luck, panther.

and granny - if you get kicked out, c'mon up to massachusetts. i have a closet i can store you in and when i need you for something, i can just pull you out. THAT'S perfect.

[Empty_Purple_Stars]

I thought I would give everyone that wanted to know, an update on Manimal's son..

After spending the last hour and a half on the phone with an insurance provider that would make George Orwell smile, I FINALLY got a referral for him to see a pediactric cardiologist at one of the best hospitals here in Portland..


:x

That was only AFTER, I did everything short of threatening to fire bomb the place if they didn't fucking do something..

Manimal's insurance provider however, ( The LARGEST in Portland ) is content to sit back and do jack and shit to help.

You would think if for NO OTHER REASON, other than liability, they would want to get him IMMEDIATELY in order to find the cause of the Heart Murmur...

But nooooooo, I get nothing but extra large heapings of steaming bullshit from these friggin imbeciles.

Oh my fucking God..

And now it seems the cardiologist is allergic to the telephone, because they won't answer it.


And to add EXTRA colors to our daily rainbow, I also FINALLY got to go back and see the Oral Surgeon about my surgery..

This visit was to let me know what it is going to cost to fix everything..

They SHOULD have brought me a Horse tranquilizer with the quote..

Are you ready for this??

Drum Roll Please...

$19,229.76

Again, Oh My Fucking God!!!!..

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

My Hellspawn comes back from Texas Saturday, and I cant even manage to get caught up with his tuition at the YMCA on campus so I can start work at the job I have been offered there this summer as a counselor.

Which yes, I am not physically fit to do, but I have no choice.

But SOMEHOW the powers that be ALSO expect me to extricate Twenty fucking Grand from my ass as well, in addition to that.

My Dad is checking with a Dentist friend in Houston to see If the quote is *cough* reasonable but GODAMN!!

Hopefully, he can help..We'll have to wait and see..

Meanwhile, the whole left side of my face still hurts like hell..

On a plus note, I have cried so much this afternoon, I look Chinese..

Whee...

Someone PLEASE friggin smother me, I SWEAR I won't struggle much at all..

:?

We're hanging in there I suppose, what else can we do?

I'm not sure what is going to happen now, from day to fucking day, it seems..

I don't know what else to do anymore, except to continue to pray to whoever and whatever listens to the Prayers of a desperate woman and Mother..

Sigh..

Thank you all for the Love, and tight hugs for being so concerned..

I'll try and keep you guys posted..

[Soul_Immortal]

Hey, dearie...many hugs to you and yours.

That is awesome you got a referral, very damn awesome.
EDIT:
Lafayette, Louisiana has LGMC. They have the best heart hospital in the United States...its only a guess, but maybe they can give you more insight as to what the required treatment is and hopefully get the doctors in your area off their arses and on the phone with you.

From mommy to mommy, I hope your Hellspawn gets better.
:cry:


*Soul*

[WolfMoon]

They can send a man to the moon, but they can't make a fucking affordable Dentist!

WTF???


It's good that they finally gave you a reference, babe. Hopefully they can get the Hellspawn in soon.

*HUGSTIGHT*

[edible_eye]

e_p_s -

i think it's time to get away from private dental care and to start looking into what area hospitals have to offer, especially the big ones. you can apply for free care, medicaid, medicare - depending on your level of income and have the hospital pick up much or all of the tab - free care - since the price tag to get your mouth fixed is so fuckin' outrageous.

if you don't mind me saying - i'd absolutely enjoy watching you extricate said monies from your ass - even if it's not there. i'm kinda perverted that way... and i like it.

http://www.ohsuhealth.com/htaz/oralhlth/

http://www.ohsuhealth.com/dch/csd/cardiology.asp

http://www.ohsu.edu/library/consumer.../chchild.shtml

http://www.ohsu.edu/library/consumer...chdental.shtml

http://www.ohsu.edu/library/consumer.../chwomen.shtml

http://www.ohsu.edu/about/mission/community/

http://www.ohsu.edu/outreach/

http://www.ohsu.edu/ohsuedu/newspub/...inic060205.cfm

http://www.oregondental.org/oda/sect...wSectionID=584

http://www.colgate.com/app/Colgate/U...ralHealth.cvsp

http://www.mchealth.org/services/ics.shtml#dental2



anyway, you might have any or all of this information. i can tell you, as a nurse inside a city hospital, there are more services open to you than you might know. the cost you're describing for yourself is astronomical - never mind the service needed for the hellspawn. if you're not getting the answers you need, make calls - not only to doctor's offices, but to state departments as well.

get names when you call ANYWHERE - make that part of your phone call. write them down. make someone accountable when you speak with them. and if i can help in any way - that means doing some research here to see if i can come up with answers for you - let me know. one thing about the hospital i work at, doctors spread across the country from here. if i can get you names, i will. and if i can either make phone calls or have a doc here make a phone call on my behalf, i will. i don't know just how much i'll be able to help if you need it, but if i can do something - it'll be fun to make someone jump.

and seriously - collect names of EVERYONE you speak to at the insurance company. make EVERYONE who picks up the phone when you call accountable for everything they say to you. that way, if you get differing information, even by a tiny bit, you can say - well, so-and-so said this, so why are you telling me that... what's your name, please?

good luck, beautiful.

[drgnlvr]

E_E, you are a true gentleman, and Knight in Shining Armor. *hugstight, and "accidently" smooshes her boobies in E_E's face*


EPS, I am so sorry, love! I wish there was -something- I could do to help! It seems to bloody unfair that the really wonderful people get screwed the worst by luck and happenstance. :cry:

Just know I keep you and Hellspawn in my thoughts.

[edible_eye]

wow... i experienced heaven.

do it again.

[AlKilyu]

Originally Posted by edible_eye

do it again.

Okay.



http://www.thefilebucket.com/userfil...shaking3or.gif



Oh...you meant drgnlvr...sorry.

[edible_eye]

s'all-right. you got some nice titties y'self.


http://www.wimpie.net/images/jennifer.jpg

[edible_eye]

http://www.dopusmax.com/images/3d-tits.gif

[WolfMoon]

Mmmmmmm, boooooooooobiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeessssssss............. .................


:}~~~~~

[FenrisQueen]

I'm destraught (spelling?) enough to ignore the boobies. my mom called me into her room a couple days ago. What do you think of being a counselor at Vacation Bible School? ::blink:: What's it pay? Don't be cute, young lady. I think it would be a valuable life experience. (which is cue for do it of your life is gonna be miserable)

So I signed up. Monday rolls around. I have to get up early. We are OUT of coffee. So I'm trudging into church, trying to smell that delicious aroma. The coffee wasnt ready. I had to wait thirty minutes for bad coffee, because they said to stay downstairs and someone would bring it to me.
Tragedy! I'm stuck with the arts n crafts class, which rotates three groups of twenty three to five year olds. A little girl started crying, because, you know, she's three, and she missed her mom. So she came over to me, and I picked her up and hugged her. I turned mushy. Lost it. Completely. Me. And the same thing happened over and over.

These children LIKE me. They ask about my piercings and run to me with booboos. They play with my hair and tug on my pant chains. They follow me around like little ducklings. And I'm beginning to like it!! One of the parents even had me hold their baby for a full five minutes.
I went out to dinner to Lonestar with my mom last night, and my friends KAty and Mariah were working. Katy told Mariah about my *thing* and she started laughing. Really hard. Katy made it worse by going, "oh, no, dudemy nephews absolutely adore her, and they've only met her once!

And then my mom chimes in "Well Crystal has always been good with children."


I'm turning into mush!!!

[Empty_Purple_Stars]

In the midst of everything going on, I have had to make a super shitty decision..

I met this beautiful young girl in one of my classes last year..

She is about 19 and we'll just call her Ash..

It was real apparent right away that she had some serious emotional problems..

But something about her touched me, and I was reminded of how pain-wracked and fucked up I was at her age from the terrors life had ordered for me.

So I befriended her, and tried to do what I could to help her..

Ash, because of all she'd been through, liked to make herself bleed..

She was tiny, and beautiful, but covered in scars, fresh and old, from head to toe ..

She would scratch at her skin until it came off and and then she would scratch deeper..

It was terrible..

As if this wasn't troubling enough, she also had SEVERE anorexia..

She would starve herself for days at a time, then binge and vomit..

Lately you could see her bones when she walked..

Luckily she had insurance, so I was able to get her a mental health referral to see a *cough* psychiatric nurse..What a fucking joke..

She put her on Paxil and LARGE amounts of Trazodone..

Did I mention she was also VERY suicidal?

Yeah, this nurse wrote her a script for a VERY strong sleeping pill..

WITH refills..

Nice huh?

Sigh..

So she just kept getting worse..

Well, last weekend Manimal sold his soul to the devil to get us away for the night. With everything going on, we have both been walking a very thin line.

Ash called right after we get there, totally hysterical.

It takes me a long time just to get her calmed down enough to be able to understand her. I finally get out of her, she is somewhere on a payphone, she doesn't know where. She is totally freaking out and just keeps saying she wants to die. I get Manimal to talk to her on my phone, and I call the crisis line for her insurance provider. Consequently the SAME one that Manimal and his Hellspawn have to use, thats has been giving us the run around.

So they advise me to either bring her in or call 911.

I knew if I called the cops she would COMPLETELY wig out, and I wanted that to be a last alternative.

After two hours of pleading and cajoling, she finally said she would consent to medical care at a hospital..

I called a mutual friend of hers and asked him to drive around in the area I thought she was, and to take her to the hospital.

He finally found her,huddled in a corner of this church parking lot, soaking wet from the rain and in really bad shape. He immediately took her to the nearest emergency room.

They found a large knife on her at the hospital, and she was bleeding in dozens of places all over her body.

I thought FOR SURE, they would do a 72 hour commitment, after they put her on suicide watch.

BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

These motherfuckers, loaded her up with MORE drugs the next day, and SENT HER HOME!

Now she has a whole Koresh Compound full of toxic Opioids with which to kill herself at leisure..

Nice huh??

Her mother calls me yesterday and says Ash doesn't need a psychiatrist or mental health care, she does it all for attention and she just needs a job..

Right..

She starves herself and cuts herself, and is slowly killing herself, AND trying HARD to speed up the process, but she just needs a job..

I wanted to crawl through the phone and strangle this woman with my bare hands..

Fucking dumbass..

So the long and the short of it is, they cut her loose, she pretended to be fine and happy, and now she's back on the street ticking away again..

I can't help her, I wish I could, but I can't..

I have done everything I know how to do, and I can't do more than that..

I haven't returned her calls, I don't even know what to say ..

It's just to painful to watch her chasing Death..

I just can't do it anymore...

It's too much with everything else I have to contend with..

And that makes me feel even shittier..

I hope you learn to Fight someday Ash..

Goodbye...

:cry:

[drgnlvr]

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

My heart goes out to you, and to Ash, and I hope whatever demons are chasing her eventually tire of the game.

But...and I'm not trying to sound cold and harsh...you can only do so much. She has to want to do it herself, too. There is a certain point that someone like that -has- to be cut loose. You have enough to deal with right now, unfortunately, and you cannot spare the energy for someone who may not want to take that first step, herself. It may be that she doesn't know how. I can't say, I'm not there.

But Manimal, Hellspawn and you are first priority (not necessarily in that order). Please don't let the guilt eat you up for making a tough decision that had to be made. I know, easier said than done.

I know all that shit they're prescribing for her is not going to help her. Part of it could be the system, part of it might be that she doesn't tell them the right information. And she might not be telling them, because she doesn't -know- how, or what to tell them. But she will have to do it on her own. You might be able to show her the door, but she has to step through it, herself.

*hugs*

Yeah, I know...you didn't ask for my advice. But it was free, so you won't lose anything by ignoring it