The time machine thread!!!

[Duane]

If you had a fully functional time machine, what would you do?

[Splintered]

Go back with an F-22, rule over a bunch of people claiming to be their god, and have 500 virgins at my disposal.

[gothicusmaximus]

Originally Posted by Splintered

Go back with an F-22, rule over a bunch of people claiming to be their god, and have 500 virgins at my disposal.

Enjoy your yellow-toothed, dirty virgins.

[Splintered]

Note to self.

Bring shower and tooth paste with me.

[Barfing_Rat]

Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus

Enjoy your yellow-toothed, dirty virgins.

LMAO!!! That's exactly my first thought too.

I'd love to go back to 207 B.C. and watch Chrysippus getting his donkey drunk and laugh to death as he watch the donkey attempt to eat figs.

[HellforgedX]

Make good sports bets.

[Duane]

Go back to the time of the gold rush in California, and bring back heaps of gold.

[Renatus]

Originally Posted by Duane

Go back to the time of the gold rush in California, and bring back heaps of gold.

Hmm on you just gave me an idea. I would buy gas from the past and have a pipeline set up between times so I could resell it for easy profit.

[aetherclaw]

if i could i would transfer my mind into my former self and bring back my cd's and computer. relive the past 10+ years more prepared retaining as much info as i could and have my grand parents make better lotto bets.

[L'Oiseau Noir]

I'd go back in time and make a point to visit all my favorite historical figures:

Boadicea for rousing an army of 100,000 Celts and managing to crush Camulodunum, Londinium, and Verulamium, ultimately becoming a major thorn in the Roman occupants' side. She's definitely awesome in my book, even if she got her and her peoples' asses kicked by Poenius Postumus at the Battle of Watling Street.


Anastasia Romanov I'd like to find out what really happened to her (even if it's projected she was clubbed to death with a rifle [though I can't remember where I read that]). Simply because, saving her I could perhaps put the Romanov family in my debt and soak up what valuables I could from them, then come back here and be rich (since the initial monetary value would have exploded due to age, background, and inflation).

Joan of Arc I'd love to meet her (even if she was potentially crazy) due to her major contributions, victory-wise, to the Hundred Years' War. Also, because, at the time, it was unheard of a woman (and though she was masquerading as a man) to be a leader. Not only that, but she succeeded in winning several battles against the English, too. I really envy her for what she did.

Oscar Wilde So I could tell him he's a pompous, hedonistic jerk, and that the Portrait of Dorian Gray was one of the most boring pieces of literature I've ever read. I much prefer his poetry.

Edgar Allan Poe I just want to hug him, and tell him his poetry is just absolutely wonderful.

Bram Stoker I want to personally tell him how much I love Dracula, and show him how big it is in the future. He'd be flabbergasted, I'd wager. Then maybe I'd kill him, steal the idea of Dracula (ultimately becoming the one to establish the vampire genre), and return to the future.

Vincent Price I love his movies, end of story. And I'd want to tell him that myself.

And deviating from people I'd like to meet, I'd love to spend a week or so browsing the Victorian era. Maybe pick up a few lovely, frilly dresses while I'm there as well, and perhaps some leather mary janes and authentic cameos, bodices, corsets, bloomers, and chokers.

Oh, and I'd like to go back, kill J.K Rowling, and steal her idea for Harry Potter.

[Splintered]

Originally Posted by aetherclaw

if i could i would transfer my mind into my former self and bring back my cd's and computer. relive the past 10+ years more prepared retaining as much info as i could and have my grand parents make better lotto bets.

Go back to 1800, then take all of the oil out. Then go back another day, and take out all the oil of the world. Since you took all the oil out from the day after that, the oil should still be present that day. Then go back another day, and take out all of the oil of the world again. Repeat the process indefinitely. Since each day will bring you more and more oil, you'll have a nigh unlimited supply of oil in the present.

[Duane]

Save John Lennon.

[Corpsey]

Save Jimi Hendrix.

Slap Winston Churchill in the face.

Be in a Monty Python movie or episode.

Learn a dead language.

Find out if the Nephillim ever existed.

See the Pink & White terraces before they were destroyed.

Remove all the crude oil in the world and teach people the advantages of steam & alternative fuels.

Smoke a joint with Bob Marley.

Meet Che & Ghandi & Nietzche.

Slap Churchill again and introduce him to "Why the fuck trench warfare sucks and the advantages of using MLRS" written by an anonymous tactician.

Go to an A Perfect Circle gig before they broke up.

Fly a Glider before the Wright brothers and name it ' Icarus '.

Meet John Donne and thank him for the contrasts of his poetry.

Meet Jonathon Swift and shout him an Irish beer and eat an English infant for irony's sake.

[Barfing_Rat]

Corpsey, you sound really bitter about Churchill. Did his secret bastard son use to baby sit you?

[Wormboy]

Originally Posted by Duane

If you had a fully functional time machine, what would you do?

Nothing. I am not that stupid. Sensitive dependence on initial conditions. I do not wish to tamper with the world.

[HumanePain]

Meet Jesus.

Meet Archimedes.

Meet Socrates.

Meet Leonardo da Vinci.

Meet Samuel Johnson.

Try to save John F. Kennedy and Robert Kennedy and Dr. King.

Stop the Rosenbergs from giving the Russians America's atomic secrets, and thus prevent an arms race that sucked up trillions of dollars.

Buy stock in AT&T, General Electric, IBM and Mobil Oil.

[Tumor]

I'd go back to right after my mother conceived me so I could genetically alter myself.

[Wednesday Friday Addams]

Originally Posted by Barfing_Rat

Corpsey, you sound really bitter about Churchill. Did his secret bastard son use to baby sit you?

I think its over Gallipoli.

[blackwater1110]

Originally Posted by Tumor

I'd go back to right after my mother conceived me so I could genetically alter myself.

It wouldn't be you then. What's you is that one sperm and that one egg, and those are pretty much set. I guess you could make sure a different sperm made it in, but then you would cease to exist!

[Wednesday Friday Addams]

Not really cause when you back into time you create an other universe.

[Renatus]

Originally Posted by Wednesday Friday Addams

Not really cause when you back into time you create an other universe.

That's one theory on it, another theory is that it would cause a time paradox and destroy the Universe.

[I Am Great.]

Ah, theoretical physics at its worst.........

[Minyaliel]

Oh, how I've ponded this in the dark hours of nynorsk ("New Norwegian", the second - and quite unnecessary - way of writing Norwegian, used by a small minority and enforced on students as an extra thing to waste time on) classes. I'd go back and make sure the mother of Ivar Aasen never got any children at all, in some way or another.

Oh, and then I'd go to London and by myself some authentic Victorian fashion items.

And perhaps go to settle amongst the Mongols to learn how they really did horseback archery - I've always admired archers who can do that. I find it hard enough to hit the target when I'm standing on my own two feet.

[blackwater1110]

I'd rather have a parallel universe machine, so I could transport myself into one that's not nearly as fucked up as this one, kill myself if I exist in that universe, then transport back into my original one, kill myself there before I invent the parallel universe machine so I can't follow myself and get killed by another version of me, and live out the rest of my days in my relative utopia. I think I got all the theoreticl physics bases covered there...

[I Am Great.]

Sliders style.